Funny Climbing Sayings

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climbrunride

Trad climber
Durango, CO
Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 28, 2007 - 12:49am PT
I used to have a page of climbing one-liners. I got it at the Escape Route at Cal Poly a long time ago. The other day I realized I've lost it. Dang it! I can only remember a few of them. Can everyone else pitch in with their favorites?

Hand Jam or Test Cam

Finger Locks or Cedar Box

If You Fail To Prepare, Prepare to Fail

If You Fail to Prevail, Prepare to Impale

Beta Max or Heavy Racks

Move That Hold, Youíre Growing Mold

Flash Man or Trash Can

Donít Be a Moper, Reach for the Sloper

Crank the Edge or Hit the Ledge
Chaz

Trad climber
So. Cal.
Apr 28, 2007 - 12:57am PT
Hollering "ROCK!" when it's a can of beer you dropped.
L

climber
NoName City and It Don't Look Pretty
Apr 28, 2007 - 01:31am PT
Jeez Climbrunride,

Those are funny. I must've been climbing with the wrong crowd these 7 years, cause all of my one-liners go like this:

On belay
Belay on
Climbing
Climb on







Fuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkkk!!!







You OK?







Goddammit...



Climbing!
Climb on
P Whalen

Trad climber
CO
Apr 28, 2007 - 02:26am PT
In a stemming corner -
"spread your legs and trust the rubber!"
zip

Trad climber
pacific beach, ca
Apr 28, 2007 - 02:36am PT
no glove, no love

Quit your grinning, and drop your linen
Crimpergirl

Social climber
Hell on earth wondering what I did to deserve it
Apr 28, 2007 - 02:45am PT
When in doubt, run it out

take, never mind
Chicken Skinner

Trad climber
Yosemite
Apr 28, 2007 - 11:46am PT
Happiness is a nice crack and a large rack.

Ken
Watusi

Social climber
Joshua Tree, CA
Apr 28, 2007 - 12:41pm PT
Make haste or tomato paste...
L

climber
NoName City and It Don't Look Pretty
Apr 28, 2007 - 01:22pm PT
"Make haste or tomato paste..."

That one cracked me up!
Ted

Trad climber
San Rafael, CA
Apr 28, 2007 - 06:00pm PT
On a trad lead:

I have no friends and my nuts are too small.
Tahoe climber

Trad climber
a dark-green forester out west
Apr 28, 2007 - 06:15pm PT
It's all there.

Watch me!
Watch him watching me!
Watch him watching him watching me!

Elvis has arrived, ladies and gentlemen!

You want some tartar sauce up there to go with that flounder?!?

Lambone

Ice climber
Ashland, Or
Apr 28, 2007 - 06:16pm PT
"pass the poop tube"
HighDesertDJ

Trad climber
Arid-zona
Apr 28, 2007 - 06:21pm PT
"Aim low and overachieve."
J. Werlin

climber
Cedaredge
Apr 28, 2007 - 07:31pm PT
Make that move or six foot groove.

Here's an overheard I sent to Climbing years ago:

Sam the Israeli after several attempts on Big Bob's Big Wedge--

"I feel like my hands have had a sex change operation!"
Jingy

Social climber
Flatland, Ca
Apr 28, 2007 - 09:14pm PT
"No mistake or flat pancake"

"Edging skills or hostpital bills"

When lowering someone off into a crowd, instead of yelling "heads-up" just yell "Ass-as-a-hat"

Brew Monkey

Big Wall climber
Bend Oregon
Apr 28, 2007 - 10:18pm PT
Aider Bailer
climbrunride

Trad climber
Durango, CO
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 28, 2007 - 10:53pm PT
These are great. Keep 'em coming...
JAK

climber
The Souf
Apr 28, 2007 - 10:54pm PT

I always took great joy in handing my rack to a climbing partner...or, really, anyone remotely nearby, and saying "Hold my nuts for a second, would you?"

Predictable and cliche, I know. I'll go back over there now.
Lambone

Ice climber
Ashland, Or
Apr 29, 2007 - 03:25am PT
"hucked a moe"
oldtopangalizard

Social climber
ca
Apr 29, 2007 - 08:18am PT
summit or plummet
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