YOSEMITE FIRES HALF DOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Wild Bill

Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 13, 2007 - 07:13pm PT
This is not a troll, totally serious.

I just got off the phone with YNP, an anonymous source told me that Half Dome's contract IS NOT BEING RENEWED and he is being asked to leave the park.

Too many non-climber fatalities on the cables. Too much rockfall, too much climbers' garbage. All this adds up to way too much liability for the park. They thought Half Dome would be happier somewhere else. Also, the park believes it will be able to get an entire intact dome to step in before this coming tourist season - hahahah fools, good luck with that. Most domes are already booked into 2008.

I tried to contact HD, but haven't gotten a call back. This really sucks, I think HD is getting the short end of the stick. It's not his fault he's only half the man he used to be.

Anyway, you should all write to YNP and express your OUTRAGE over this OUTRAGE, what with them doing this OUTRAGEOUS thing! Then let's post about it here, see if we can't get over 100 posts.

Carry on.

Boulder climber
Sick Midget Land
Mar 13, 2007 - 07:34pm PT
I heard that Lembert was dieing to step up and take HD's place!

Mountain climber
San Diego
Mar 13, 2007 - 07:34pm PT
I believe this action is the result of either Half Dome's stint as a Catholic priest in the 70s or middle school geology teacher in the 80s. The chronic alcoholism, and the year spent working as a page at Interior, doubtless laid the groundwork.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Mar 13, 2007 - 07:35pm PT
HD brought it on himself by inviting the media to watch.
Wild Bill

Topic Author's Reply - Mar 13, 2007 - 07:42pm PT
You all are probably right.

I just spoke to my cousin, and he heard from his sister (who is NOT my cousin - long story for another thread) that HD left a message for her. He is despondent and drunk. Said something about having to be carried out of the Valley, and that he's going to JUMP OFF EL CAP!!!!

We have to do something!
the Fet

Knackered climber
A bivy sack in the secret campground
Mar 13, 2007 - 07:48pm PT
That frickin bullshitt.

Half Dome was there way before the park service. I bet Karl Rove is behind it.

Boulder climber
Sick Midget Land
Mar 13, 2007 - 07:50pm PT
I heard Haliburton won a no bid contract to remove HD forcibly if he won't leave on his own!
Wild Bill

Topic Author's Reply - Mar 13, 2007 - 07:52pm PT
DMT, that is for REAL.

I heard that D*leware North is really controlled by the Chin*se - wait, maybe it was Al Qu*da, I forget - and they are the ones who wanted Half Dome out.

I wonder if the rest of the gang is going to stay, or maybe follow HD?

This really sucks, I always liked HD and thought he was just a great addition to the park.

Now they're saying HD will be on the county fair circuit, at least for the 2007 season.

I guess when you're that big, you fall far fast.

Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
Mar 13, 2007 - 07:56pm PT
my sister's friend saw HD applying at REI in sandy an hour ago she said...

Gym climber
San Franpsycho
Mar 13, 2007 - 08:02pm PT
C'mon everybody knows Half Dome is a SHE, a little respect here. I hear she's pretty broken up over the whole thing. Look at the upside though maybe now they'll finally pave a road from the Ahwahnee to the Meadows.

State of Mine
Mar 13, 2007 - 08:11pm PT
My buddy, who I havent seen in several years, lives in the park. He goes by Bear 46 and he said that Half Dome was indeed female. She was getting pissed that El Cap was getting the Top position all the time. Womens like top too you know. Scandalous...
Wild Bill

Topic Author's Reply - Mar 13, 2007 - 08:30pm PT
"my sister's friend saw HD applying at REI in sandy an hour ago she said... "

Yeah, I read the same thing . . . I think it was on SuperTopo.

At least she's not applying at Patagonia - I heard they fired their Ambassadors!

Big Wall climber
Mar 13, 2007 - 09:00pm PT
Yeah HD don't need Pataguchi to sponser her, what with all the royalties she gets from the "I MADE IT TO THE TOP" T-shirts.
Jay Wood

Trad climber
Fairfax, CA
Mar 15, 2007 - 02:08am PT
Wait... I thought they fired Glacier Point
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Mar 15, 2007 - 02:29am PT
I heard it was because HD kept evolving, and there were worries it would become a secular humanist. That would be un-American, or at least un-Republican, and they're pretty much the same thing, eh?

The powers that be prefer that their faux Potemkin villages, like Yosemite Valley, always look the same. Even if an airbrush has to be used, just like Soviet pictures from the 1930s.

North fork, CA
Mar 15, 2007 - 07:29am PT
I've heard for some time that YNP was upset with Half Dome after her drunken insults to quarter dome and el cap, but now they actually have the authority to get rid of her. It may just be a rumor but I've heard they found Granite Growth Hormone (Chemically the same as Human Growth Hormone) in her urine sample-something YNP will not tolerate one bit. Apparently, Most of the other walls are looking forward to "the Jan Brady of walls" (hey, Sentinal said it not me) being dismissed.

Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
Mar 15, 2007 - 07:58am PT
No, I heard it was all about the snakes, dikes, and the bondage fetish with those cables. Someone in the administration had been complaining she was giving a toss to any Tom, Dick, or Betty who tramped by. They were pretty vehement about her morality just not being in-line with the family values expected in the premiere venue of the national park system...

Trad climber
Cumming, ga
Mar 15, 2007 - 12:02pm PT
I am confused. I just spoke with a range in the park and she said that all is with half dome. If I am way of base or not clear please let me know.

Trad climber
3 hrs. from Seneca
Mar 15, 2007 - 08:58pm PT
paganmonkeyboy: " my sister's friend saw HD applying at REI in sandy an hour ago she said..."

Sadly, HD was refused employment for being far overqualified for REI but word in Georgetown is that HD will be the next big Patagonia Ambassador.
Wild Bill

Topic Author's Reply - Mar 15, 2007 - 10:01pm PT
Good to see she's landing on her, er, feet!
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