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Cassius
climber
Berkeley, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 12, 2018 - 11:47am PT
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After turning 50 a few years ago I started getting the itch to do a Big Wall again. I had climbed a handful back in the 90s but the last one was in 2000 and it was feeling like a long time ago. (That was the Dawn Wall with Shipoopois (aka Shipoopi or Steve Schneider) and Heather. What happens on a Wall with Shipoopois and Heather stays on a Wall with Shipoopois and Heather. But, I do recall fondly when Heather and I, huddled together like sheep at a hanging belay, suddenly felt a lovely afternoon warm rain shower. It wasn't until we noticed that there wasn't a cloud in the sky that we realized our rope gun, was pissing on us. He was 100 feet out but there was no breeze and that guy has a large . . . bladder. It came down on us in a torrent.)
Anyway, I wanted to climb at least one more wall before dementia and rigor mortis started creeping in. The Prow on Washington Column seemed like a Goldilocks route for me -- not too long, not too hard, just right. I bought a ledge, replaced most of my biners, and picked up a double set of offsets. With new skin in the game I figured I‘d be incented to get it done. I solo aided a few pitches in the Valley to refresh my recollection. Mostly, I recollected what a mediocre aid climber I am. Slow and jittery. My demons started creeping in making me doubt whether I was up for it. But, I was psyched.
I had trouble recruiting a partner but finally met a cool, young up and comer who was game. He was dealing with some demons of his own so I promised that I would lead every pitch. In May of last year I drove to the Valley from Berkeley, humped water and gear up to the base of the Prow, soloed the first pitch, and went back to the Ahwahnee for dinner at the bar, chilled by the fireplace, and bivied nearby.
My partner showed up in the morning, we humped the rest of the gear up to the base, ascended my fixed line, hauled the bag, and I started leading the second pitch. I stepped on the wet and slimy little ledge, clipped the fixed pin and was on my way up the thin C2-ish corner. My partner laughed at how I was aggressively testing everything, jumping up and down, rack flying all over the place. Around half-way up the pitch, a perfectly placed, and well-tested, offset cam blew. I was high in my aiders, reaching up fiddling with the next placement and, POP!, I was airborne. A clean 25 footer (my partner may have been a little generous with slack, not complaining, just sayin’). I finished the pitch but the demons crept in. I realized I didn't want to lead every pitch. My partner gamely tried to talk me out of it but, we bailed, tails between our legs.
Back in Berkeley, I worked on finding a partner that could trade leads. I posted on Supertopo and Mt. Project. I got tepid, non-committal responses or just the sound of crickets. I chatted up sweaty naked dudes in the sauna at my local climbing gym and tried to recruit boulderers at Indian and Mortar Rock in the Berkeley Hills.
Finally, desperate and despairing, I bumped into David at Indian Rock. In a flash of brilliance, I realized he was perfect — another middle-aged punter with a burning desire to get up a Wall before it's too late. We were acquainted from his being on the Board of Project Bandaloop (the aerial dance company) and my having danced with the company for over a decade (although I'd been put out to pasture years before). I knew nothing about his climbing experience and decided not to ask. I just told him that I could lead any pitch but not every pitch. He agreed.
With perfect late October weather forecasted, David picked me up at 5 a.m. in Berkeley and we drove to the Valley. We packed the haul bag in the parking lot of the Ahwahnee and started humping the gear up to the base. It isn't far, but it is uphill.
The demons were creeping in. We weren't following the plan I was fixated on — fix the first pitch, then the next day do two pitches to Anchorage and fix the 4th pitch and bivi; go all the way to Tapir and bivi; top out next day and bivi on top; descend the next day. Two nights on the Wall, third night on top. Neat.
Now, David seemed to want to just take off and see what happens. When we finally dragged the gear up the 4th class to the base I was relieved. A beautiful cluster-f*#k of climbers, elaborate bivi scene, and gear. Now we’d have to bail for sure.
One of the guys asked me what we were there to do and when I told him the Prow he said: “Dude, it’s wide open!” Turns out there was one party fixing on Ten Days After and another soloist fixing Afroman. Shit! No excuses.
David racked up to lead the first pitch while I fought back the demons by chatting with the crew and organizing the gear. The guys doing Ten Days After were really funny young guns who seemed to be fueled by caffeinated Clif Shots and weed. The soloist — whose name has “Shade” somewhere in it and who everyone seems to know —lurked around authoritatively.
The soloist then looked at our rack and said: “No Totems, huh?”
The demons came roaring back. “I've got doubles of BD offsets!”, I protested. He shook his head saying, “The soft metal of the Totems is what you need for the polished pin scars.” Shit!! That must be why that perfectly placed offset popped last time I was up here. We were doomed.
Somehow the second hand smoke enveloping the base cleared my funk and before I knew it I was jumaring and cleaning the first pitch. I helped finish the hauling and set off to lead the next pitch. I got it done in only slightly better than geologic time. On the plus side, all of my non-Totem offsets held.
While David cleaned, I hauled the bag and took stock. It was late afternoon, we were hammered from the approach and only 2 pitches off the ground. The smells and sounds wafting up from the boys at the base below were calling to me like the Sirens. Then David showed up, did some Jedi mind trick on me and suddenly I was setting up the ledge and barking orders at him to help me. It wasn't the worst sh#t show of a ledge deployment but I can't say we got it exactly flat. It was more like a helix which I reasoned would have some chiropractic benefit by putting each and everyone one of our vertebrae in a different plane.
I'm a wino at home so I'd brought canned wine and beer rations for three nights. But, I was so cooked I skipped it. I groveled into my sleeping bag and watched the lights of parties moving up the Regular NW Face of Half Dome, the constellation Orion traveling across the night sky, and the shooting stars.
We were slow in getting going in the morning and, we were totally behind schedule. Instant coffee shaken in a bottle with cold water was surprisingly tasty and got my heart beating at more or less the right speed.
My partner led us up to Anchorage. I kept poo pooing his use of an adjustable daisy as a sign of his inexperience and that we were doomed. I yelled at him for slotting an offset cam (the coveted yellow/blue) just after the roof in a way that made it hard for me to remove. I then showed him how it's done by aggressively bounce testing and nearly permanently welding every placement on my leads. This had the consequence of turning my two hour leads into three hour leads and, more importantly, his 30 minute cleaning into 1 hour plus cleaning. I, naturally, blamed him for all of this.
I led pitch 4 which I remember as not trivial. Thin in places and I think I did one of the two hook moves we did on the route — a talon on what may have been an enhanced little flake.
Somehow, we were done for the day. We'd done two lousy pitches, only four pitches off the ground, and we were done. It was little consolation to me that it was David’s fault for upsetting my carefully planned strategy and everything else. Another fully hanging bivi with only the aiders and the ledge to stand on. My morale was low. I took some really bad selfies. The pre-cooked backpacking ration of some kind of stew with a just add a little water chemical heating thingy in the pouch, was REALLY good. Went to bed with no beer or wine.
Day Three — Poop Caddy
We were far from the top and — in my fuzzy logic — too far from the ground to retreat. David led the reachy bolt ladder pitch which he claimed was, reachy. He’s over six feet tall so I dismissed this as due to his use of that annoying adjustable daisy.
Now, a pause is needed here for a brief detour into an important aspect of Big Wall climbing. Bowel movements. Despite eating plenty of fiber and being well hydrated, neither of us had taken a sh#t since before we launched. Thankfully, neither of us was particularly flatulent.
Pitch six was my lead. Some refer to this as the “triple cracks” of the Prow. I've climbed the Shield and I'll say that nothing on the Prow feels anything like the Shield headwall. But, I like the bit of prestige that this characterization lends the pitch. It did feel long, sustained, and cruxy. Lots of small offset cams and wires. The pitch ends with a section of 4 fixed heads. One of them appears to have been placed in a hole with something brown in it. After 2 hours of constant fear and with the anchors finally in sight, things began to stir in my bowels. There’s a fifth head with no wire that would get you to the bolt before the anchor. It looked too hard to beak the top of the head. The pressure was mounting. I ran my fingers across the blank slab between me and the bolt. I found a tiny feature, whipped out my talon and hooked it. Scared shitless (but not for long), I stood up on it and clipped the bolt.
After hauling the bag, the need to take care of business had become critical. Thankfully, my aggressive bounce testing of every piece meant that I'd have plenty of time before David reached the belay. I pulled my brand new Metolius waste case up by its tether. The thing is gorgeous, a vast improvement over the 4 inch pvc pipe stuffed with paper bags I'd used in the past.
The hanging belay was suboptimal for the task at hand but I could not wait. I hiked my feet up in my aiders getting into a crouching position and pulled my pants down as far as I could with my harness on. I wisely remembered to piss first (separating doing number 2 from number 1 is tricky when number one is really insistent). I got the wag bag out of the case. This is where it gets complicated. There's bags within bags and what seems like a dozen little things destined to be dropped or just blow away. Alpinists take note, the poop bag itself is huge. I think it can double as an emergency bivi sack or maybe a vapor barrier liner (you’d need to dump out the poo powder first). I stuck my entire buttocks in it and dropped my load. Sweet mystery of life at last I've found you ….! Now the fun part. The paper consists of napkins barely suited for nose blowing much less butt wiping. And, they're wrapped in an annoying disposable little piece of paper. Then there’s the pathetic little wet wipe. There is no question that the wag bag company found these in some vault filled with 1970s relics from Pan Am Airlines. Fortunately, I had some real 21st century wet wipes. By now I was juggling a giant, turd-filled bag, two other bags, the wet wipes and their packaging, the annoying little wrapper for the paper, and god knows what else. With tremendous focus I managed to get everything into the smaller ziplock bag and that into the waste case. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. And then David arrived at the belay.
Apparently, all that aggressive cleaning had gotten his bowels moving as well. He clipped into the anchor in a state that can only be described as frantic. I assessed the situation and came to some critical conclusions: 1) He was on the verge of a messy accident; 2) He did not have the Big Wall hanging belay crapping experience and skill-set needed to handle this on his own. Therefore, I would have to be his poop caddy.
After all the crap I'd given him the past couple of days I thought that maybe this was a real opportunity for harmonic convergence. I pulled up the waste case and started to gently but firmly give him instructions. The isolating the piss from the poop was particularly challenging given his advanced state. But, once past the pissing we were like a well-oiled machine, me passing him the giant bag, taking it back, giving him paper, and well, the rest of it.
David was overflowing with gratitude after his expertly assisted evacuation. I used this moment for our strategic advantage. I told him it would be good to link the next two pitches and with Boy Scout earnestness, he agreed. He made easy business of the Strange Dihedral which, it turns out, is not really that strange. He did some unapproved back cleaning of the next arching pitch which made my cleaning interesting. Fortunately, my years as a Project Bandaloop aerial dancer came in handy. I did some really fun penduluming like Errol Flynn, grabbed some tat on the fixed gear and retrieved our cams below.
End of day three and we were on Tapir Terrace. Finally, a bit of floor space. After dinner of Jaipur Vegetables and sardines in olive oil we got cozy in our bags on the still not so flat portaledge. Two young guns from Truckee caught up to us after dark. We directed them to the other ledge on Tapir with the suboptimal anchor (old button head bolts?). Being young, resourceful, and resilient, we figured that they’d figure it out. They did, with a small amount of grousing about the consequences of a questionable anchor.
In the morning, the young guns, graciously, did not even make a peep about passing us. I lead pitch 9 which I think is in a cool corner for part of the way (not reflected in the topo) and, naturally, felt harder than C1 to me. On the long pitch 10 I told David to put a directional for the haul line wherever it made sense in order to keep the haul bag out of the haul bag eating flake. He put the directional in the right spot (around the little roof) and sure enough, the bag stayed out of the notorious hungry flake.
On the big ledge at the top of pitch 10, Dave had created an inspiring cluster-f*#k worthy of the sculpture collection at New York’s Museum of Modern Art. I, once again, attributed it to his use of the adjustable daisy. I helped clear it a teeny bit, but mostly I drank water from Dave’s bottle and sucked down a high caffeine Clif Shot.
Pitch 11 is spooky off the deck. The couple of loose blocks are heads up and falling is not recommended. I see why someone broke an ankle here not long ago. Once established in the gully, it is punishingly awkward to aid. I managed to bust some free moves out of the aiders here and there which made me feel butch. But, I highly recommend bringing climbing shoes and free climbing this part. Would be way more fun and good training for those aspiring to climb the Nose or whatever.
Dave cruised the last pitch and put us on top just as the alpenglow started to bathe Half Dome. The summit of Washington Column is really glorious. Like a promontory, it juts out into the Eastern end of the Valley with views to die for. And, the roomy, flat platform makes a summit bivi a worthy reward.
We we’re down to one liter of water which we needed for the descent in the morning. So, wine and beer it was. The Bonny Doon vineyards sparkling rosé in a can (14% abv) and the barley wine style beer (12% abv) got us hydrated and feeling good.
The young guns topped out behind us and politely, again, did not say a word about the fact that our glacial speed gave them the opportunity to practice aid climbing in the dark. When another party — cool dudes from around San Jose — showed up after topping out on Skull Queen, we had a full on rager on the summit.
I'd never been down North Dome Gully but I always figured the difficulties were overstated. Well, now I think those that say it is grueling and scary in a few spots are about right. We used a rope in three spots and were really glad when we were finally down.
It was immensely satisfying to “get it done,” as climbers say these days. Mostly, I was reminded of how much I love climbing, for the camaraderie, problem solving, and exposure to challenges and beauty. And, I'm psyched that maybe I’ve got a couple of Walls left in me.
I think it's fair to say that the Prow is a classic. A steep, gently arcing line with some beautiful thin cracks in an exquisite setting. Not too long and not too hard.
[photo[photo[photo[photo[photo[photo[photo[photo[photoid=546186]id=546185]id=546183]id=546181]id=546179]id=546178]id=546177]id=546175]id=546174]
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Pete_N
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
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Dec 12, 2018 - 01:25pm PT
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Nice TR, way to go!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 12, 2018 - 01:28pm PT
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Yep, gotta experience the ND Gully if you wanna be a hard man.
It's even better at night.
GOOD JOB, nice TR.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 12, 2018 - 01:39pm PT
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hey there, say... Cassius...
great to see this, and very nice read too!!
good for you...
awww, better yet, good 'teacher' as to the personal hygiene...
he will NEVER forget you for it... :)
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Dec 12, 2018 - 01:48pm PT
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So is Shipoopi now Shipeepee?
p.s. nice report!
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kunlun_shan
Mountain climber
SF, CA
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Dec 12, 2018 - 01:57pm PT
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The rest of Cassius' photos:
(Cassius, if you want to straighten out your photo tags in the OP, I can delete these - they also may not be in the order you want).
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Dec 12, 2018 - 02:56pm PT
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Nicely written tr youngster! I’ve got to say the picture you posted makes you both look far removed from dementia and rigor mortis...either that or you have made effective use of botox and grecian formula.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Sport climber
moving thru
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Dec 12, 2018 - 03:39pm PT
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Hilarious! Great Job! Cheers!
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Dec 12, 2018 - 03:44pm PT
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Nice!
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Dec 12, 2018 - 04:36pm PT
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makin it happen!
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Cassius
climber
Berkeley, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 12, 2018 - 09:26pm PT
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Kunlun_Shan,
Thank you for fixing the photos!
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Jan
Mountain climber
Colorado & Nepal
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Dec 13, 2018 - 02:12am PT
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What a fun TR ! Many thanks.
And yes, you really should try the North Dome Gully in the dark.
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micronut
Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
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Dec 13, 2018 - 08:07am PT
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Well done lads. Thanks for a quick dose of inspiration from behind the keyboard this morning. Keep sending!
Scott
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| Messages 1 - 13 of total 13 in this topic |
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