What useless gear did you buy?

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Ashrogers

Gym climber
Arizona
Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 16, 2018 - 06:53am PT
What useless gear did you buy?
We all have some useless stuff to complain about
Moof

Big Wall climber
Orygun
Jul 16, 2018 - 07:08am PT
Paid way to much for some Colorado Nutco I-beam chocks to look pretty on my shelf.
Scole

Trad climber
Zapopan
Jul 16, 2018 - 08:36am PT
I bought a Tri Cam years ago after being told that "You cannot climb Magic Mushroom without one". I climbed the route with Nadim Melkonian and we never even saw where you could place one, much less need one. Its been in my collection of useless gear (like figure 8s) for thirty years, and I have still never found a need for it.
Jon Beck

Trad climber
Oceanside
Jul 16, 2018 - 09:19am PT
https://rockandice.com/climbing-gear-tips/the-worst-gear-ever-invented/
couchmaster

climber
Jul 16, 2018 - 09:25am PT
I once bought a "Buddie". It was worthless as pro, and too big for a keychain. (borrowed great pic off Stephan)


2 lobes BAD, 4 lobes GOOD....

Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Jul 16, 2018 - 09:27am PT
1) In 1975/1976 purchased a Peck “Cracker”, I believe it was called, a perfectly cylindrical nut from Britain with a knurled surface and a very stiff cable. Mostly it just fell out of placements.

2) Next up, 1977, bought a Forrest Titon, anodized green which indicated its size, about like a #6 or #7 hex. Used it as an up-slot for a belay on the Thunderbird wall in the Palisades, in shattered rock where it fit right in, and that was probably the last time I placed it.

3) Found one of those SMC Cam Locks, 1978, sized like a #9 hex, carried it on my rack for a while until a buddy placed it in a climb called Super Roof at JT, where the rope got stuck behind it and the rope had to be cut. Later on, just for a little salt in the wound, Lechlinski handed me the yellow Mammut rope shard and the nut after he cleaned it.

4) Also wound up with one of those gold anodized Saddle Wedges, about like a #6 stopper, which was designed mostly to get stuck as far as I could tell.

5) Didn't actually strap in to my Whillans ball buster harness very long either … switched to a 2" tubular swami after about a year or so, in 1978, and last used it on The Nose in 1979. Did however, take probably my longest fall in it!

6) The Snowdon Curver ice ax, bought in 1979, used from a buddy who'd moved on, a tool which lots of alpinists used in the late 70s, had such a radical droop that it was most notable for its propensity to plate the ice when removed. We called it the "plate maker". (Perhaps, as a neophyte, I was over placing it.) It did have a pretty cool innovation at the bottom of the orange fiberglass shaft: a bulbous area which somewhat marginally prefigured those pinky finger catches on modern leashless tools. Actually saw that innovation on a much earlier wooden tool on display in a Chamonix climbing museum.

7) A sleeping bag by a company called “Wiggies”, I believe, with synthetic fill and no baffles. Cold from the get go and the fill quickly became displaced.

8) Had a Trailwise "Fitzroy" tent, with a somewhat innovative freestanding A-frame design. Was on the heavy side, and though generally a decent offering, something to do with the flame retardant treatment on the fabric prompted the thing to rot out rather early in its life span.

9) Jansport frame pack: Rather than being welded, the frame used aluminum fittings at the junctures, with nylon sleeves where the fittings mated with the frame components, and secured with aircraft nuts. It squeaked while walking down the trail. Put quite a few miles on it, and it squeaked annoyingly the entire time. Shoulder strap foam was soft open cell rather than firm closed cell, and more suited to feeling comfy in the gear shop than carrying heavy loads. Should have purchased a Kelty. Regardless, the soft pack revolution eclipsed both.

10) But the worst by far were the molded EBs with bulbous front toes. All you had to do was lift your heel when pointing toes straight in on edges and you were off! I have no idea what I did with them. Probably went straight into the trash.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jul 16, 2018 - 12:17pm PT
Those SMC cams were bogus, not that I paid for them. Still have a couple like new.

I never went anywhere without a #1 and 2 Titon. Liked the bigger ones better than Hexes.
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Jul 16, 2018 - 12:55pm PT

Geez...it takes two rolls to do the work of my regular tp, i’m going broke!
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

climber
Out Of Bed
Jul 16, 2018 - 04:01pm PT
straight off of Mountain Reject?
The Buddy!(I've got 1)
thats got to be a clear notch above useless
compared to hexs
& Teetons, both of which I fell on while climbing 5.10-11
johntp

Trad climber
Little Rock and Loving It
Jul 16, 2018 - 05:04pm PT
A few Titons bitd.Placed one maybe once.

Roger that. Stupid things didn't stick worth a damn. Tube chocks were better. Which ain't saying much.
hooblie

climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
Jul 16, 2018 - 05:15pm PT
the weight of 16 plastic grocery bags ... negligible. filling them with snow and burying them
doubled up as deadmen to secure a tent fly seemed trivial and worked wonderfully.
digging them out after the disturbed snow set up was no mean feat.

ignore the tip, don't do it ... i'll hunt you down if you fail
Gunkie

Trad climber
Valles Marineris
Jul 17, 2018 - 06:01am PT
...where do I start?
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
Jul 17, 2018 - 08:25am PT
I didn't actually buy it but Dirtineye (RIP) did. He called it "the most expensive key-chain ornament he ever bought"

I call it the Barbie-cam.- it hangs on my keys now. A crack with the exact specifications that will actually hold this piece does not exist anywhere in nature BTW.



PS: i have actually climbed a few things where a tricam was a pretty awesome piece to have. We keep a pink and black. The rest are useless.
go1dens4

Trad climber
Melbourne, FL
Jul 17, 2018 - 11:18am PT
I <3 tricams, so useful in horizontal flares... pink, red, brown & blue... Anyway useless - #2 bigbro...
johntp

Trad climber
Little Rock and Loving It
Jul 17, 2018 - 11:28am PT
What about the old teradactyls (as I remember they were nicknamed "knucklebusters")? And the Forrest/Lowe tube picks?
AP

Trad climber
Calgary
Jul 17, 2018 - 11:30am PT
Pterodactyls were pretty useless for waterfalls but made a decent 2nd tool for big alpine climbs. You could really wail on pins.
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
Jul 17, 2018 - 05:21pm PT
Big bros and hexes
Although some would disagree
Lol
Rexi

climber
Jul 17, 2018 - 05:32pm PT

This sucker. Absolutely useless piece of gear. Hassle to open and so forth. Or i´m just not smart enough to get along with it. Anyway, haven´t found any advantage of this design over a traditional locked biner.
johntp

Trad climber
Little Rock and Loving It
Jul 17, 2018 - 06:24pm PT
This sucker.

Is that for reelz or a photo-shop? Looks ridiculous.
Trashman

Trad climber
SLC
Jul 17, 2018 - 06:38pm PT
Tricams. Wish I could find the photo of all the booty ones I’ve cut up over the years.

No I won’t give them to you, you’ll just get the damn things stuck in the fingerlocks I cleaned them out of in the first place(after blowing my send). Something tells me I’ll be saying the same about totems soon enough(finicky bullshit that people who can’t place gear claim is indispensable).

Edit to add: Harumpf!(guess I’ve hit that point)
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