Great Motels...........

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Winemaker

Sport climber
Yakima, WA
Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 22, 2018 - 11:35am PT
There are Great Motels and there are 'Great' Motels that are real holes but great because they are so bad. I just drove to Salt Lake City to visit my daughter and some of the parks and on the way ran into the 'greatest' motel I've ever stayed at. I left Yakima late and drove to Mountain Home, Idaho where I felt like stopping for the night. The drive to Salt Lake is an easy day, but I was knackered and it was getting near dark. I drove into Mountain Home and there it was, The Thunderbird Motel. It was begging for me to stop so I did. It was run down and I wasn't even sure it was open, but it was. This was too rundown to pass up! I entered the office and also the Twilight Zone......

Here's what I texted my wife after registering:

Imagine a five foot tall 80 year old man from some unknown, and possibly unknowable, Asian country. He’s stooped over, has only one tooth and is able, with great effort, to shuffle along at five feet per minute. He’s speaking to unseen ‘others’ in some unrecognized language while scrutinizing my out of state driver’s license, asking lots of questions and looking at me like I’m an escaped criminal. He’ll only take cash; I tell him I have to get cash and he questions where I will get this money. My car I tell him. He finally agrees to this, after questioning me about smoking. The shuffling dwarf was really adamant that I not smoke! ‘You no smoke!!!’ I told him ‘I no smoke!!!’.

So $41 changes hands and I have a room in a decrepit 1950’s motel with an empty, falling apart swimming pool, window air conditioners the size of an early Honda Civic, concrete block walls, old abandoned cars in the parking lot, next to the railroad tracks in a town that is dying and you have a partial picture. It’s GREAT!!!! It’s so bad it’s cool. Amazingly there are other ‘guests’. He tells me I have to push the white button if I use the air conditioner; I have to be sure to push the red button when I leave I am told three times. Yes, I understand. There are no buttons at all to push, red or white…….

The night is cool, so thank god I don't have to find the buttons. The room is furnished as you might imagine, with an old couch with a blanket on it. The bed actually has clean sheets and I don't sight any bugs. There is a bathroom. I chain the door and sleep. I leave early the next morning, profoundly moved by the beauty of this motel. I'll remember it for a long time.
Ksolem

Trad climber
Monrovia, California
Jun 22, 2018 - 11:54am PT
Did it come with free bedbugs?

Five feet/minute LOL.
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
Jun 22, 2018 - 11:56am PT
you're braze or foolish. Not sure which. :)

Any bites found?



I have been curious about the Clown motel near Pahrump. Or is it in Pahrump.

Looks like a Steven King novel. Not much to do in a mining town like that.
bob

climber
Jun 22, 2018 - 11:58am PT
A pool meant for skating. Look at that thing!!!!!
Trashman

Trad climber
SLC
Jun 22, 2018 - 12:35pm PT
I have been curious about the Clown motel near Pahrump. Or is it in Pahrump.

Tonopah, right next to the pet cemetery, thought of it the moment I saw the OP’s post. I frequently threaten my wife with a stay there on our way to the east side. She knows I’m kidding, just driving past that place creeps me out.
Lynne Leichtfuss

Sport climber
moving thru
Jun 22, 2018 - 12:39pm PT
Mungeclimber, I drove past the "Clown" motel and felt such a weird vibe I didn't even stop in the town.

Edit: A wonderful place is Motel Inverness in Inverness, CA right on Tomales Bay. Lovely!
Fritz

Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
Jun 22, 2018 - 12:40pm PT
Nice report! I remember the Thunderbird from my occasional visits to un-scenic downtown Mountain Home. I must correct you on one thing. That schisthole is actually booming, thanks to an adjacent Air Force base & an influx of residents who find much-cheaper housing than in 40 mile away booming Boise.

And! It's the gateway to Bruneau Dunes State Park!
Chaz

Trad climber
greater Boss Angeles area
Jun 22, 2018 - 02:01pm PT
I'm holed up as I write this at the Rodeway in Long Beach, WA. I think they're getting $78 a night out of me. Good central location - walking distance to a good brewery - there's even a bar in the same parking lot. No A/C, and everyone here smokes cigarettes but me, so my room smells like bars used to, back when people could smoke inside.

Last week, I was at the Curly Redwood in Crescent City, another cheap joint. Like $70. Clean as can be, also centrally located. View of the Battery Point Lighthouse from my room. Within walking distance of two breweries.

Three weeks ago, it was the Silver Surf in San Simeon. Ocean view room for under $75.

The absolute worst joint I've stayed lately was also the most expensive. Pacifica Beach Hotel, in Pacifica. It was f*#king filthy. $240/night for an "ocean view" room, but I couldn't see the ocean because nobody ever washes the windows there. I had the owner upstairs in my room as I pointed this out to him. I told him to watch the bartender next time he's out for a drink. The bartender is constantly wiping down the bar, because that's his money maker. The hotel owner's money maker is the ocean view, he should wash his window once in a while.

I only want four things from a motel: A bed, my own bathroom, a place on the property to park, and internet that works. Everything else is a bonus. I'll find my own breakfast. I don't need a fridge because I have an ice chest in the truck. I don't need an ironing board because I don't sleep in my clothes. And I don't need shampoo and a hair dryer because I don't have any hair.
Russ Walling

Social climber
from Poofters Froth, Wyoming
Jun 22, 2018 - 02:07pm PT

Voted "Stickiest Carpet in Vegas". Glad I wasn't the one sleeping on the floor!
stevep

Boulder climber
Salt Lake, UT
Jun 22, 2018 - 02:12pm PT
I've stayed at the Clown twice both times on drives between SLC and Bishop. No doubt it's creepy, perhaps to the point of overwhelmingly so if you have clown issues.
But otherwise it's not too bad. And the showers have really good water pressure.
rottingjohnny

Sport climber
Sands Motel , Las Vegas
Jun 22, 2018 - 02:37pm PT
I drove by The Clown yesterday and almost stopped to get a selfie in front of the demonic looking clown...The good news is it is still open...
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jun 22, 2018 - 03:17pm PT
"Stickiest Carpet in Vegas"

LOL. I’m glad my days of having to rationalize jeopardizing my health like that are behind me. My first trip to Squamish with Bruce and Ellie Hawkins we stayed at The Single Light Bulb Hanging From The Ceiling. Thankfully it didn’t have carpet. We went to the pub next door and almost had to throw it down with the loggers.
Gary

Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
Jun 22, 2018 - 03:22pm PT
Elko Motel, Elko, Nevada was highly recommended by my good friend George Wysup. That should have been my first warning. We were going into the Rubys and need a place to rack out.

The rooms in the front where George and Asher stayed weren't too bad. We got stuck on the back unlit corner. There was some kind if shady sh#t going down next door to us. The prison tattoos on the "guests" made me uneasy.

The door was the type you use on interior bedrooms. No deadbolt. Squeaky Fromme had just been released. Every time the ice shifted in the cooler, it sounded like Squeaky turning the door knob.
clode

Trad climber
portland, or
Jun 22, 2018 - 03:45pm PT
Try the Bates Motel in Vale, OR. The bathroom is so small, you have to close the door to use the toilet, otherwise the door gets in the way of the "business" end. The bedroom is not much bigger, only enough to squeeze in a double-size, and the T.V. hangs from a wall-mounted bracket. I don't even remember A.C., which is a must in summer-time E. Oregon. At least the front desk clerk didn't look like Norman ...
MarkWestman

Trad climber
Talkeetna, Alaska
Jun 22, 2018 - 04:03pm PT
This is actual quote from a bigger review of the Clown Motel. Best Yelp review, ever.

At one point early in the evening we were hearing strange sounds and what appeared to be someone screaming followed by popping and crunching noises. While in the bathroom my buddy decided to have a peek outside of the bathroom window. My buddy lets out a yell and busts out into the room and I’m like “what?!” He doesn’t say anything but goes right to his bag and gets his Smith and Wesson 357 out. I’m thinking “what the f*#k” and I dig into my bag to get my Sig 232 out. He says we need to get the f*#k out of there right now. I saw he was serious and that made me serious about it, we grabbed our sh#t for the most part (left a few clothes behind) and looked out the peep sight to make sure it was clear to our car. I threw my gun into my pocket, he put his in his waistband and we hauled ass to the car and got the hell out of there. On the ride away, I asked what he saw in the bathroom. He told me when he looked out the window there was this creepy-ass clown facing away from the window, pants at his ankles, making a weird motion. He told me the clown slowly turned 90 degrees to look at him, my friend said he looked down to see this clown f*#king a full-sized dinner ham, when he looked up from the ham f*#king the clown was smiling and waving at him.
Lynne Leichtfuss

Sport climber
moving thru
Jun 22, 2018 - 07:11pm PT
A local fav.....JTree's High Desert Motel. Clean, inexpensive, good Wifi and they remember me and the room I like. :)
Chaz

Trad climber
greater Boss Angeles area
Jun 22, 2018 - 07:30pm PT
Another good thing about the Rodeway: You can walk in reeking like weed and beer, and nobody gives a f*#k, because they're all smoking cigarettes.
Winemaker

Sport climber
Yakima, WA
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 22, 2018 - 08:12pm PT
Just remembered. I was up in B.C. at the Westwood racetrack for a race. Took lodgings in some dive inn in Westwood, was given a room key, went up to the room and unlocked the door. There was a couple on the bed with the gentleman's thingie deep in her mouth. Moment of silence, said sorry, and went back to the desk to get another room. Pretty funny.
MarkWestman

Trad climber
Talkeetna, Alaska
Jun 22, 2018 - 09:09pm PT
My wife and I actually stayed at the Clown Motel.
We had been driving towards Vegas from Yosemite, it was a cold, windy autumn night. Upon arriving in Tonopah, we drove all around the town getting prices on the various seedy hotels. The Clown wasn't the cheapest, but looked less gross than a couple of others, and it WAS cheap- $34.
I go into the lobby and there are clowns everywhere. I mean everywhere. Did I mention that I hate clowns? There were clown paintings, figurines, posters, dolls, you name it. The worst was a life-sized, creepy clown sitting in a chair in the corner, staring at us with murderous eyes. I go up to the desk, which is a counter separating the lobby from the manager's apartment in the back. Out comes this crusty old man, who I decide is the old man who warns the teenagers about the local curse, and is the first guy to get killed in the movie. In a deep, gruff voice, he says, "whaddaya want?".

Um, we'd like a room. He pushes the slip across the counter. I fill it out and give it back. As he's writing something on it, I glance around the room nervously, and then stammer..."Sure are a lot of clowns in here..."

The old man freezes up, stops writing, then slowly looks up at me with deadly serious eyes. After a pause, he says:

"Oh, they're evil. I don't even look at 'em!"
Without a change in expression, he lowers his head and continues jotting down numbers on the registration form.

At this point, I'm thinking, "we are going to die tonight".

The room wasn't too bad, but we did take down the two scary clown paintings and turn them around.
In the morning, Lisa goes outside to pack the car. We'd arrived after dark the night before. "Mark, get out here! You gotta see this". I go outside and she's pointing to the edge of the lot. The pavement 40 feet away ends at the edge of a dirt lot cemetary, with an old wrought iron fence and an arched entrance that says "CEMETARY". The lot is festooned with crosses and headstones dating to the 1800's.

You can't make this stuff up. We burned rubber out of there ASAP.
canyoncat

Social climber
SoCal
Jun 22, 2018 - 10:04pm PT
If you're into bad Nicholas Cage movies I'll just leave this Netflix suggestion for you lovers of the seedy motel https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6083648/
Messages 1 - 20 of total 27 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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