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MisterE

Social climber
Across Town From Easy Street
Jan 31, 2010 - 01:57pm PT
How about the "Natural Hazards" part of our Sedona Guide:

There are a multitude of natural hazards in Northern Arizona, and due care should be taken to stay alert of your surroundings and watch the weather. Hazards include, but may not limited to: Lightning, heavy downpours, high winds, loose rock, dangerous scree slopes, flash floods, radical temperature changes, relentless sun, roasting heat, freezing canyons, abandoned mine shafts, yucca, cactus and other plant hazards, range cattle, coyotes, mountain lions, bears, falcons, rattlesnakes, bats, spiders, scorpions, bees and wasps.
Cracko

Trad climber
Quartz Hill, California
Jan 31, 2010 - 03:03pm PT
This one from Nunn's Peak District guidebook always struck me as funny. Maybe it's not funny if you're a Brit !!


"Though details of access are not included, climbers are warned against any practice which is likely to jeopardize the future use of particular crags for climbing. In confrontations a peaceful and indeed conciliatory approach always seems to pay whatever one's basic assumptions about property, especially as many farmers have good reason to be antagonized at the depredations of thoughtless 'townies'."
slabbo

Trad climber
fort garland, colo
Jan 31, 2010 - 04:08pm PT
The Ross/ Elms '78 guide to NH "granite, amen"
guido

Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
Jan 31, 2010 - 05:11pm PT
In the late 90s, Roper, Foott and I got together for the first time in years and headed up to the Diving Board where Jeff, with a large format camera, wanted to replicate the classic NW Face of Half Dome shot of Adams. Although we had all been up there a number of times, when we got to Little Yosemite we were in a quandary as to the proper place to exit and weave up to the 3rd class slabs. Our route finding was a disaster and probably complicated by the fact Foott and I were laughing so hard at Roper because he had written the bloody guide. No slack for the man and we gave him endless sh#t the entire trip. We had the luxury to forget trivial things like approaches but for the "man" to get lost was an unforgivable sin.

Hoffbrow

Trad climber
California
Sep 3, 2017 - 09:04pm PT
The Swainbow Wall :) I was there with Todd Swain for the first ascent of the variation.... I remember belaying Todd as he lead up pitch... been so long ago it seems like a dream... I guess about 24 years ago.
Ksolem

Trad climber
Monrovia, California
Sep 4, 2017 - 10:23am PT
From John Sherman's 1991 Hueco Tanks guide...


ENTERING THE PARK:

As you approach Hueco Tanks from the south, your first glimpse of the rocks will be disappointing, unless you're from Stoney Point.
couchmaster

climber
Dec 12, 2017 - 03:44pm PT
^^Good stuff K Solem^^


From Jeff Thomas's old guidebook. His introductory notes to Smith Rocks (paraphrasing) "although it's said that Smith Rocks gets no rain, the surrounding area gets 8 inches a year".
Off White

climber
Tenino, WA
Dec 12, 2017 - 04:44pm PT
Fred Beckey's three volume Cascade guides were full of references to "the obvious gully" and lots of 4th class that was nothing like that. Vague approach directions ensured ample adventure potential. Trip reports and the internet have changed a lot of that, but you can still easily have an old school epic in less popular corners of the realm.

Older editions of the Olympic Mountains climbing guide had nothing but shaded pencil drawings of peaks that didn't offer a lot of precise direction. Fourth class pretty much means you want a rope but there isn't any gear to be had, rather than some sort of movement difficulty rating.
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
Dec 12, 2017 - 09:46pm PT
obvious
...

should be a climber swear word.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Dec 12, 2017 - 10:49pm PT
And how about Fred's most famous bit of advice on how to negotiate the famed jungle on the Reg Route of the N Pk of Mt Index?
An almost direct quote is

"imitate a gorilla going through the bush".

I never asked him if that included chest thumping but the only time I did
it in summer I didn't feel like I'd qualified for chest thumping.
Off White

climber
Tenino, WA
Dec 13, 2017 - 09:57am PT
I had no idea Tami, there was nothing that was actually humorous about the topos to mark it as your work. Which book/edition features your drawing? One really can't be held accountable for 3rd hand topo drawing :-)

jogill

climber
Colorado
Dec 13, 2017 - 03:56pm PT
W. P. Haskett Smith in 1894 comments on Gash Rock that: "We are indebted to Colonel Barrow for this name, which he bestowed on Blea Crag . . . for no better reason than that he knew a man called Gash, who did not know the name of the rock, or how to climb it."
NutAgain!

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Dec 13, 2017 - 06:33pm PT
Donnie Reid: "Pro to 3"

Yep, that is almost a keyword search when looking for the good kind of suffering in Yosemite :)
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