Hey Jello, are you a real climber?


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Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 6, 2006 - 08:26pm PT
So I was at work the other night (I work about two nights a week, 4 hours a night at a wannabe outdoors store, mostly because I needed new ice tools and not paying retail for them was an attractive thought) and some fellow came in with his girlfriend to look at jackets. They were looking at some Mountain Hardware stuff and the woman mentioned how "That's the stuff all the real climbers use, like on Everest. I saw it on TV!" I went over and mentioned how I have a friend who climbed Everest, and all of his gear was from MH (True. But mostly just a reason to engage in conversation, cause that's what you're supposed to do in retail, right?)

"I can't believe people really climb things like that," the guy said. "It's cool that you know people that have done that. I would like to climb more, I've done it a few times at the gym. I don't think I could even name any real climbers..." and he paused for a moment while he looked at some gloves he was holding.

"Hey, what about Jeff Lowe? He's a famous climber, right?" he said brightly, and then launched into a brief history. I had to laugh.

He didn't buy anything, though...
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 6, 2006 - 08:30pm PT
Jello's not a real climber, but he plays one on TV. He does however have many cousins that test prototype gear.

Trad climber
So. Cal.
Nov 6, 2006 - 08:33pm PT
"He didn't buy anything, though..."


Gym climber
Sedona, AZ
Nov 6, 2006 - 08:35pm PT
With a name like Jello, He/or She has to be a Real Climber!

Nov 6, 2006 - 08:43pm PT
Jello is just a nickname. His real name is Kool-Aid.
Scared Silly

Trad climber
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:34pm PT
The name Jello is a great play on words. It involves not his name but his home state as well. Only someone from Ooootah would know the latter.

Social climber
The West
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:39pm PT
I'll take highest per capita consumption of __ for $100, Alex."

Social climber
St. Louis
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:40pm PT
Duh. He's not a real climber, but he stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night...

Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:59pm PT
No, Ouch, Kool and his brother Klean are the "Bigair" Aid twins.

Jello was the stunt double for Kool in the action film Krater!

right here, right now
Nov 7, 2006 - 12:05am PT
He is descendant from a long line of Lowe Riders.
They once drove up and down the boulevard all day and all night,
In big cars, Lowe to the ground.

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 01:35am PT
I leave you guys alone for a few hours, and what happens? Let's just say I'm turning greener by the minute.

Cheers, all (including you, locker - green and red go pretty well together)

I consider it an honor to be slandered and talked about so fondly by this fine group.



Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2006 - 07:52am PT
green = lime? sour apple? kiwi? melon?

Trad climber
the south
Nov 7, 2006 - 08:15am PT
I heard around a campfire at Fosters one year with Arno and this red headed guy named Jeff that another Lowe brother, Hi, invented a card game called high-lowe.

Another brother, name unknown, apparently was a a great limbo dancer and everyone who watched was astonished at his limbo abilities, coining the phrase, "How Lowe can you goe?"

And then there was the black sheep of the family, maybe jello is not too embarrassed to give his name, but THIS lowe always lived at the beach, prefering never to venture much above sea level.

He is of course still referred to as the lowest of the Lowes.

And remember, there's always room for Jello.


The Eye of the Snail
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:16am PT
Pretty sure it's spelled J-Lo.

Social climber
Seattle, Wa
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:20am PT
He's not a real climber, but he plays one on TV.
Brian in SLC

Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:25am PT
You can't get more Utar than green jello with carrot shavings and mini marshmellows.

Mighta shoulda been to one too many family reunions...come find out...

-Brian in SLC
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Nov 7, 2006 - 11:01am PT

Needs to be left in the cold for hours to get it's shaky groove on.

Any relation to the pop singer?

or the next hip greeting "Jello man, Wassup?"

They should have bought the gear. I have Lowe Life fleece shirt that so kicks butt on my other numerous fleece shirts that it lives in my climbing back and finally is starting to look like swiss cheese.


feelio Babar

Trad climber
Sneaking up behind you...
Nov 7, 2006 - 11:13am PT
Great Shot of the real jello, and his denim clad teenage sausage army full of angst and anger!

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 12:46pm PT
Aya- Depends on my mood. Most of the time, though, it's lime.

Nov 7, 2006 - 01:36pm PT
Now Brian in SLC ought to know that green jello with carrot shavings and mini-marshmallows is only appropriate for missionary homecomings. For ward openings, it's red jello with diced walnuts and a Cool Whip topping.

Source: The Jello Matrix in "No One Knows My Pastry"
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