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Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Original Post - May 5, 2015 - 01:05am PT
It is May 5, Jennie has been gone for six months now today. A very long six months for me. C'est la vie. But she is in good care, though being in a nursing home at 64 sucks IMO. But she is in good form, so I understand. I cannot see her, she does not want me to, and that hurts. Dementia sucks.

And before I go on, Jello (Jeff) and other people who have medical conditions or their loved ones (Johnny R) who do, I sympathize, I empathize, I wish you all the best.

It is cold out, and it is May and it has been pissing down big time, I mean, lots of rain. My native Californians, you need this rain, I am trying to find a way to ship it.

Climbing, are you kidding? The boulders down the beach are soaked. The nearest crag, not much of one, how I miss California, the nearest crag is soaked, and the gorse getting to it, like rattlesnakes at Hetch Hetchy.

Otherwise Taco Standers, I wish you all the best.

I don't think I will ever climb 5.11 again, and Ama Dablam, my dream, is just that, a dream.

But if I could hug and hold Jennie again, that is better than any 5.11 or Ama Dablam.

As an aside, a big aside, Jeff (Jello) I hardly know you but you are an inspiration.
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
May 5, 2015 - 02:37am PT
Hang on there big guy
I to posses Irish eyes prone to cry
To achieve gain we press through the pain
God gave us a rainbow to stop the rain
You better than any should know
What's to be found at the end of that bow
Sure it's always sunny Cali
But don't morn so long to wake up old
Damit get out and find you a new Salley
I know this poem ain't worth much gold
BUT BROTHER BE BOLD!
Cheers
BB
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 03:10am PT
Thank you Blueblocr

However, I do not want a new partner. My landlord, an excellent man, he also says to find another gal. Like you do.

I don't want another gal. I want Jennie to be a part of my life. But she has a medical condition. She may not even remember who I am.

But your poem did touch me. I just do not know what to do. I cannot give up on somebody I love.

Damn this is worse than the off width on 10.96, or any off width, Chingando is fun though.

Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 03:31am PT
My first time really using a Friend, not just playing around with them, like Jardine was showing people in C4, but Siberian Swarm Screw, at least that was what is was called at the time.

I had the lead, I put the Friend in, it held, I did not fall, I wonder if it would have held. Okay 10a, but an off width is an off width. Awkward, like the social worker I have to deal with regarding Jennie. A battle axe, but, maybe she is just doing her job.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 03:47am PT
Protection (no, not condoms guys), it is a mind game in ways, sort of. Placing a "dodgy" piece, especially before a crux, (who wants to place dodgy pieces?), it does "embolden" one.

Like ice screws, come on, do they work? I never felt comfortable placing one. I mean, ice is not not nice. Just run it out, screw the ice screw.

Anchors, now that is a different story. Dodgy pro may be one thing, but nothing beats a solid anchor.

And nothing beats my love for Jennie. She does not climb, are you kidding. When we lived in Dalkey, she sometimes would accompany me up at Dalkey Quarry, and would cringe when I free soloed.

She may have been a great ballerina before her knees gave out, but a climber? She liked climbing in her Lincoln Continental in Toronto, then in Liverpool and Brighton, then in Dublin, but on a rock face? She'd die.

And I miss her.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 04:27am PT
Oh yeah, she also had the Lincoln in Sweden, when her late husband and her had the hotel.

Me? A BMW 2002, the best car ever made, mine would beat any Porsche in the mountains, but the 1948 Ford Pickup that Bridwell liked (the psychedelic paint job, wasn't really a paint job just years of old coats of paint). It served me well in the C4 parking lot. And the LEO rangers, and the cops and deputy sheriffs in Manteca, Modesto, Escalon, Oakdale, CHP (680, 880, 80, 120, 50 and every where in between).

They loved pulling me over. I think I only have one photo of that '48 Ford.

I still dream of Ama Dablam. And of Jennie. Not to be, at least for the foreseeable future.

EDIT
Okay, a convertible Ford Mustang, 1967, not a bad car, great for surfing.

A 1957 Chevy? My mom bought one for my brother Casey, 1959.

We were headed to the beach, Stinson Beach, north of San Francisco. Casey, Peggy (his now wife for a million years), Mac on one side in the back seat, Mary on the other side, me in between, sandwiched. It was foggy (hey Marin County, the seaside, what do you expect?)

I was four years old. Casey said: "It sure is foggy." Peggy added: "Yes it is foggy."

I looked. I looked, I did not see any frogs. "I don't see any frogs." They all laughed.

I didn't see any frogs, honestly.

Probably why I turned to climbing.

EDIT again.

I will lead 5.11 again, I will climb Ama Dablam. I am only a young 58 (59, May 29, same birthday as John F Kennedy and Bob Hope, just not the same years).

And I will get Jennie out of the nursing home and back into a life. She deserves a life. With me.

And I think that the Supertopo forum is spot on, for climbing and for life, life tales and stories. There are some great contributors and I enjoy you all. I am not being a sycophant, this forum means a lot to me.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 05:31am PT
You know, I have interviewed presidents and prime ministers, and the best I got was a couple of, well two idiots, I may have been the third idiot, up the Salathé Wall, 1976, and we bailed at Mammoth Ledges, because they thought it was going to rain. They just wanted my food, my pot and climbing gear. I was so stupid.

They got the food and pot, but not the gear. Camp 4 can have its posers and thieves. And idiots like me.

Okay, Maggie Thatcher, August 1989, Number 10 Downing Street. Patrick Sawyer on one side of the table. Maggie, a senior press officer, a press officer, a senior aide, an aide, on the other side.

Five against one and I came out alive, a lot of journalists did not.

What has this to do with climbing? Nothing. Yet, coming out alive from being with the Iron Lady, is like climbing El Cap. An endurance.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
May 5, 2015 - 06:26am PT
So, you don't want a new gal. But I bet if you poke around and travel a bit you can find a dry crag! Isn't Spain like h distance from you that Lafayette is he valley, or something? That will make the skies open up and the sun cast it's rays on yee, I reckon!

Love the poem blublockr! Is sobriety serving as a muse?

Looks like no work for me today. It's overcast even, which has served me well lately here in this higher than josh desert. Time to go make Wingate while the sun don't shine! Maybe a few laps on the mtn bike "terrain park" while the kids are still in school, first.

One 58d to another, both contra costa emeriti, Cheers!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
May 5, 2015 - 06:36am PT
hey there say, patrick... you are still in our thoughts and prayers...

good to see you post...
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
May 5, 2015 - 06:44am PT
Hey Patrick,

Take a listen to this tune, it's filled with the aches we all go through. I find it comforting myself.

The thread was created for someone else, who apparently never saw it. I now give it to you.


http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/2618682/Days-Between-For-My-Friend-MFM
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 08:06am PT
Survival the link does not work, at least for me.

The Grateful Dead. I968, the Holy Ghost Hall, Saranap, in between Lafayette and Walnut Creek, we were a young band (to say the least I was a crap rhythm guitarist), the Dead just relatively new to the scene, they played, it was just down the road from our house. They had that big van of theirs they used to travel in. Jerry Garcia threw out a microphone into the crowd, I almost got it but our drummer Rob (very good, a far better musician than I am, he eventually came out of the Berklee School of Music), he got the microphone that Garcia threw out.

I will try to look that link up and listen.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
May 5, 2015 - 08:14am PT
Paddy, you're a pillar of strength and fidelity. You have my total admiration.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
May 5, 2015 - 08:18am PT
Patrick, the lyrics are there to ponder even if you can't get the link to work.

Just try YouTube Days Between. The version I chose has the cloaked horse rider on it.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 08:48am PT
Jaybro, I know we must have rubbed shoulders on Mt Diablo.

Thank you for your thoughts, I need them.

Thank you all for your thoughts, but I think of Jello, I think of Johhny's ex with cancer, I think of all of you people who are going through a bad time, a torrid time.

This forum may have its moments, good and bad, but to connect with all of you people, that is priceless.

EDIT

Reilly, Jaybro, Survival, Randisi, Neebee, Dingus, Johntp, Rotting Johnny. Blueblocr… all of you Taco Standers.

Randisis, no the gal from Dalian is not going to happen. She married a fellow Chinese person and is back in Dalian, with a child. Best wishes to her.

Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 08:50am PT
Survival, I read the lyrics, they are powerful.

They hit home.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 09:06am PT
I just want to climb and be with Jennie. I want Jeff (Jello) to be happy and live long. I want Pat (Oliver) to be okay. Dang it I want all of my Supertopians' family to be okay.

There are so many names I could write, all I can say is, safe climbing and be happy.

EDIT

I think Aggie is dyslexic, she does not obey me. Of course, I was a puppy once, perhaps still am. who wants to obey authority?
johntp

Trad climber
socal
May 5, 2015 - 09:10am PT
Patrick-

Hang in there. We all get old and have to deal with changes. It's not easy.
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
May 5, 2015 - 09:17am PT
i just dropped a single tear.
for you and jennie.

not just any tear,
but a tear comprised
of the very first drop
of water that began
our entire universe.

i watched it soak into the soil.
the dry, wretched soil.

and then,
the relentless sun
picked it up
and i'm sure
it's now part of
the cloud
enroute to
ireland.

so, patrick,
sit down and
fill up a pint
at a foggy window.

look out
and you'll see
our drop.

it'll etch
eternity down your glass.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 09:17am PT
Thanks John but who says I am getting old?

Okay, maybe.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - May 5, 2015 - 09:19am PT
Norwegian, thank you.
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