we build new horizons.

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Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 18, 2014 - 04:28am PT
i'm in a very compromised state here,
and i come to you humbly and marginally composed.

supertopo to me is a peer.
and i bring to her my venerabilities
because i trust you.

for beneath her mask:
so many faces; vast personalities;
varied intents; decorated backgrounds;
extraordinary verve and accomplishments.

for me. a safe place.

i'm very naďve, and thus protected by a hearty,
though half-limp smile....

this morning, as i washed anna's
homemade carmel off pans, bowls, spoons
and a multitude of other utensils,

i pondered my days ahead.
and i realized that the best approach
is to strip myself of these immediate expectations:

fair treatment,
recognition
and give-a-f*#k.

because in the nasty now,
the participants are not themselves.

and thus the wife and children
are acting out of anger and confusion.

my truths are mine alone to make.
and they cannot be swayed by others'
misinterpretation and skewed reporting.

so i keep my head down,
carry on. shoulder my pack
and anyone else's pack that is on my back.

my readiness for change is
shored upon my proven abilities
to initiate, accept, and exploit it.

i can do anything.
and i have.
and i will continue to.

after 15 years with a girl,
who i love and believe in;
though who i realize is not the right girl for me;

after 15 years of enduring the greatest of life's obstacles,
(rearing children, building a home, and starting and maintaining careers)
we both are aiming at separate horizons.

prior to this moment,
that prospect terrified me.
outrageous loneliness, doubt, and fear:
these were my guiding emotions.

though now, through earned maturity,
i still expect these adornments
upon my heart, though i
embrace them and will
employ them in building the next me.

whoever that is,
he can wash dishes.
for he was once a professional dishwasher.
he can clean house.
for he was once a professional janitor.

and he can believe.
because he's always been a professional dreamer.



Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2014 - 04:42am PT
rolling up my sleeves.
here we go.

there's carmel everywhere!
i'm content now as a utility
for everyone else around me;

my time will come.
Captain...or Skully

climber
in the oil patch...Fricken Bakken, that's where
Dec 18, 2014 - 05:38am PT
We're constantly building the next "me", aren't we? It's an ongoing process...as for aiming at separate
horizons, adjust it to suit what you truly desire, don't deceive yourself.
Good luck.
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2014 - 05:48am PT
yea cap'n.

i'm a little bit nervous
'bout sleepin in the cold sheets
that i've draped over my cot.

there are no nearby chambers
in which to throw my echoes.
thus my shouts are lost
and heedless.

and my love lands upon
no warm heart.
crankster

Trad climber
Dec 18, 2014 - 05:54am PT
Your new girl will help clean and lead pitches.
clinker

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
Dec 18, 2014 - 06:08am PT
A romantic who climbs higher and falls farther for it.

Keep the confidence, she may look back and be sorry to have lost you.
If she realizes this presently, she will anchor in.

Increase your mass, be big.
A sun, capable of holding worlds in orbit.

Stay cocksure steady, regardless.

Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2014 - 07:12am PT
i think you said
something like,

"stand up straight, boy.
blood don't flow around corners."

and i listened.
dingus.

good clinker.
a sun implodes exothermically
due to it's mass overwhelming
it's outward jest.
MikeL

Social climber
Seattle, WA
Dec 18, 2014 - 09:40am PT
I wonder whether anyone is “the right one” for anyone else. You’re referring to “Miss one-in-ten-thousand,” yes? Tough odds statistically.

It seems to me that we are drawn to others because they are / were the right one for us then. They are / were what we needed in our lives, and that sometimes means that they were exactly “the right wrong person” for us to bounce up against and learn about ourselves and the universe.

No matter what gets experienced in relationships, it’s always YOU that you’re experiencing. It can’t be any other way. It couldn’t have been any other way, and in the last analysis, you may find that it was the best thing that could have happened—and that includes all the pain and suffering that you might be going through.

I’d wish you good luck, but it has nothing to do with luck. Statistics lie.
krahmes

Social climber
Stumptown
Dec 18, 2014 - 03:25pm PT
To be honest I can never track what your talking about Weege, but I think I get the gist. Don't think this will make you feel better:
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Life's a bitch.
rick sumner

Trad climber
reno, nevada/ wasilla alaska
Dec 18, 2014 - 05:16pm PT
Don't go all california on us. If you go the distance your daughters will thankyou.
wilbeer

Mountain climber
Terence Wilson greeneck alleghenys,ny,
Dec 18, 2014 - 05:37pm PT
You are never alone in this world.

Statistics lie,well maybe,but you are not the first nor the last.

Peace to you and yours.
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
Dec 18, 2014 - 06:22pm PT
All we suffer

everything that hurts us, a million little cuts

is the flickering of the burning flame

of the refiner's fire.

Every one of these thing

every single one

creates our space

our willingness

our lessons

for finding

that which we are meant to find.

The easy lessons

are never the important ones,

but the hard ones

always return.

Best to you, my friend.

Erik



BTW, you should write a poetry book!

It would sell and you have plenty of material.
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Dec 18, 2014 - 10:27pm PT
and thus the wife and children
are acting out of anger and confusion.

So you pissed off the wife and the kids--alcoholism has a way of doing that. You're in the doghouse--and feeling butthurt over that.

Writing bad poetry about this is easier than manning up and being a good husband and father.

But after drowning your sorrows in poetry, that is what you will need to do.
Psilocyborg

climber
Dec 18, 2014 - 10:32pm PT
there is a million ways to be human, all are worethwhile
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Dec 18, 2014 - 11:36pm PT
p on m horrid zontals
i m n ur corner
just lie back
say what it takes
2 live a little longer as a u knit
but like any think
my wordsworth is nothing
not even too sense

don't please let's go to the dogs tonight, alexandra fuller o k?

in her book the family handles their mother's alcoholism and insanity with the same stoicism they handle any other misfortune, though they do occasionally compare themselves to families with normal mothers, clean swimming pools, home baking and children free of worms. The title is taken from a line by the writer and humorist a p herbert, 'don't let's go to the dogs tonight, for mother will be there'

i double dog dare u 2 finish what u started
but only f u wanna
u control the horrid zontals of what's gnu
u control the vivid verdigris of old love
its patina comes from age
raisin kids are wrinkled only when they dry out
u could make some fine wine from ur grapes of wrather-do-that-than-this
or it could turn into vinegar
but u'll never find doubt
f u throw in the ghost
i have lived with a wife of regret
i have not (so i tell mice elf) lived a life of regret
i'm here but not hole
nothing might please me more
to have said i staid
the course was laid
and i've paid and paid and paid
flushing is o k in n j
u can hold it
u have a drunk poet's bladder

read b tween the lines on my face
and climb up my nose
go into my brian
and then start pryin'
loose all the or u need
or is the crux of deciding
while ur itching to fly
the bairns will hae groaned
and the spows will hae moaned
and maybe u'll get boned
sometime :)

or ?
the n

p s thanks for the peerage
how noble of u

micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Dec 19, 2014 - 12:09am PT
Listen not to the here and now, instead picture a new horizon with a new you and a new her. Stay the course. Play the man. Be the knight in shining armour that she deserves. Slay your dragons. Tame hers. Rescue the damsel that lies within all women. Resurrect the fair lass that you once knew......it still lies within her......under layers and years of hurt and self reliance. Change. Ask for forgiveness. Be her hero. Orchestrate the creation of a new both of you. You can be in a new skin maritally and live out a long life together. It is possible. I've seen it done. From the depths to a new beginning.

But it aint easy. You have to lead. You have to do the messy work. She needs you. The father of her children, the man she fell for, the man she wants and needs you to be. The scales can fall off both your hearts. Like a mud skin crumbling off under a waterfall. Humility and steadfastness to the girl can be a magic combination.

I say fight the fight. Stay the course. Enter through the narrow gate. Dont give up. Reinvent. Serve her. Let go of yourself. Give her and your children the greatest gift a man can give. Himself. A protector. A victor. A man.

Good luck. Norwegian. You are not alone.

Scott
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Dec 19, 2014 - 12:11am PT
I had a dream Weege
and in it I was falling
not from grace
but that unmistakable feeling
that gravity is an absolute
I was just falling
with nothing left to cling to
and then it stopped
and I cried.
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 19, 2014 - 02:31am PT
rad.
i adore all of your comments.
i do.

tons of positive sentiment, here.
it really gives me the confidence i need.

mr. wayno may i suggest
surrendering to the fall.

forwever i was flapping about erratically
in a panic trying to arrest my fall
by flying but of course i'm not a bird;

i'm a bad poet...
a falling stone gathers no loft.

and now i'm just enjoying the movement;

boys and girls it has gotten bad, here,
in the norwegian marriage:

two lovely people impeding each other's journey and growth.
now i recognize it. it is quite simple,
and beautiful, too.

neither one of us can thrive, together.
why the f*#k would one maintain an ill situation like this?

we irritate each other most by being ourselves.
me, i love not thriving.
i embrace and seek hardship,
it's my jewelery.

she though, the lovely spouse does not.
she wants a good and full life,
striding large and wide with tied laces.

i'm a stumbling fool, tripping into tomorrow
and gladly arriving on my face with one shoe.

it's taken me years to earn this perspective.
it aint' the result of a shortcut.

i can disect a building and get nitty-gritty deep real good.
i do it daily.

i can disect a nasty and hazardous tree over kingdom come
and get it softly down (most of the time if crawford is reviewing
my tale) real good.

but a marriage? that has me stumped.
it's seismic like while the wind is crying mary
and all substrates turn fluid; everything at once.
Floorabove

climber
The Gunks y'all
Dec 19, 2014 - 03:24am PT
Is there a piece of strange pussy beconing from this new horizon?
The grass is always greener Bro. Tough it out for your kids. Real men will make
decisions based on what is best for their family, not what they want for their self.
clinker

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
Dec 19, 2014 - 06:26am PT
In that case, I might mention that I've seen quite a few Real Men dumped.

The Real Woman has got to want you. Act accordingly.
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