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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Nov 24, 2014 - 01:22pm PT
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This is great news, brandon. There's been a lot of good advice given, so all I can say is that it can be, indeed, as good as the optimists claim. I even enjoyed our wedding itself, but that's because I simply yielded to my fiancee's wishes. I thereby already learned the four most important words for a married man: "Yes, dear," and "I'm sorry." We passed our 31-year mark last week, and I love her even more now than I did then.
I hope you and she have the most blessed time together.
John
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RyanD
climber
Squamish
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Nov 24, 2014 - 01:24pm PT
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Nice Brandon!
I'm happy to hear you say what a good place you are in. Very cool.
Congrats and best of luck to you both man!
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 24, 2014 - 01:37pm PT
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For what it's worth, this is my idea. I'm thirty five, not getting any younger, and my lady is everything I desire in a woman. She may be a city girl, but she loves the country life.
I actually created a monster, as she only wants to wear Pattagucci and carhartt these days. She doesn't climb, but she's cool with me taking off for the weekend to climb, hike, whatever. It's all so very healthy and mutually appreciative.
I haven't asked her dad. I should, but he's not very present in her life.
It seems that sometimes the best partnerships are formed between people with vastly different interests. YMMV.
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Norton
Social climber
quitcherbellyachin
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Nov 24, 2014 - 01:38pm PT
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I'm kinda old fashioned, but all girls deep inside want the chivalry of the knight kneeling down and asking for her hand in marriage. All the other antics, be they extreme or simple, can be worked around, but stick to the kneel and ask if nothing else.
yes to micronut's good advice
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
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Nov 24, 2014 - 01:40pm PT
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I'm thirty five, not getting any younger
ahhh.....don't go there with this crowd! You are plenty young. I didn't have my son until I was 41...and even then I wasn't sure I was ready.
Sounds like you two are a good match!
Susan
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micronut
Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
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Nov 24, 2014 - 01:45pm PT
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Brandon my wife is not a climber either. Nearly 20 years, and she still supports my thirst for adventure. There was a time I envisioned that I would marry an outdoorsy "climber chick" . type. But there are more important things than your hobbies. Climbing is my passion and in my blood forever, but my real passion should be her and my pursuits should always follow meeting her needs first.
If she ever needs me, and I have the biggest baddest raddest trip planned, I'll cancel it in a heartbeat.
Marriage is not a 50/50 thing. That is a recipe for disaster that breeds ticky tack selfishness.
Somebody wise once told me give 90 and expect 10. It has worked for us for years.
Scott
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Fat Dad
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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Nov 24, 2014 - 01:57pm PT
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My wife does (or did) climb. We met thru a mutual climbing friend. However, apart from getting out with her before having kids, that hasn't really made a difference in my climbing. In fact, I think it's probably had an adverse impact. Since she gave it up (more or less) when we had kids she kind of expected me to. As long as your spouse understands your need to get out, and you work to accomodate it, you'll be fine.
Is this the latina you posted about a while back?
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Nov 24, 2014 - 02:02pm PT
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I'm not suggesting a dog and pony show. But if you do anything to add specialness to the "kneel and ask" routine, it will count.
The "kneel and ask" is critical. Absolutely! But after 20 years, my wife still gets great warmth and joy by describing the "antics" I added to the bare "kneel and ask." Yes, don't go nuts, but I highly recommend surrounding "kneel and ask" in as special of a context as your mutual personalities make appropriate.
Dave is also so right: "Don't go into debt."
My wife was a kindergarten teacher. I was supposedly in Santa Barbara, hours north, at the point I arranged the proposal. Instead I took the day off and enlisted the help of fellow teachers and her students. Bit by bit over the course of the day, people brought her things. First a vase, then rose by rose a bouquet. Each item was coupled with a loving note that included a clue. By the time the bouquet was assembled the clues explained when and where to meet (at what was for us a special place). When we met I did the "kneel and ask" (having already asked her parents permission).
I'm not saying dog and pony show. But the subtle details of context add lasting value. And you don't need to spend tons of money to gain the most lasting value.
I wish you a special proposal and a lifetime of happiness!
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John M
climber
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Nov 24, 2014 - 02:11pm PT
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My wife was a kindergarten teacher. I was supposedly in Santa Barbara, hours north, at the point I arranged the proposal. Instead I took the day off and enlisted the help of fellow teachers and her students. Bit by bit over the course of the day, people brought her things. First a vase, then rose by rose a bouquet. Each item was coupled with a loving note that included a clue. By the time the bouquet was assembled the clues explained when and where to meet (at what was for us a special place). When we met I did the "kneel and ask" (having already asked her parents permission).
nicely done.. must have made her feel extra special.
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phylp
Trad climber
Upland, CA
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Nov 24, 2014 - 02:16pm PT
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Brandon, I am THRILLED to hear this news. So cool that you choose to share it with us.
Xoxo Phyl
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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Nov 24, 2014 - 02:21pm PT
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Good luck man! Incredibly big step in life. I am attending 2 weddings this December. Holiday season is rough for us single people. Might have to get an OKcupid account...or a cat.
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dirt claud
Social climber
san diego,ca
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Nov 24, 2014 - 02:26pm PT
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Here is a good one talking about the whole ring thing.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Congratulations, all the best to the two of you, may your lives be full of happiness and laughter.
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pocoloco1
Social climber
The Chihuahua Desert
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Nov 24, 2014 - 02:58pm PT
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Congratulations! Many years of happiness and laughter comming your way.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Nov 24, 2014 - 03:22pm PT
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Make it special. Only you two know what that special is. Congratulations.
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujò de la Playa
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Nov 24, 2014 - 03:28pm PT
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I take it then, that she does not read the ST?
Best wishes for a happy life together.
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The Larry
climber
Moab, UT
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Nov 24, 2014 - 03:33pm PT
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Yeah man! Congrats!
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Karen
Trad climber
So Cal urban sprawl Hell
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Nov 24, 2014 - 03:36pm PT
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The whole proposing thing is totally cool.
Best wishes to the both of you:) !!!!!!!!!!!!
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Nov 24, 2014 - 05:16pm PT
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Stoked for you Brandon, congrats!
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Nov 24, 2014 - 05:23pm PT
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Moose is right Brandon. A climber trained in the art of dirtbaging could stretch the average money spent on a wedding to a year of honeymooning in the south seas.
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nah000
climber
no/w/here
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Nov 24, 2014 - 05:26pm PT
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awesome...
you can add another stranger who's excited for you both.
best of luck!
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