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kpinwalla2
Social climber
WA
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"Now I could understand climbing that rock if there was a million dollars up there, but to risk your life for no good reason, that's just stupid".
"Camping? I feel I'm roughing it when I have to stay at a Holiday Inn."
"Don't ever be late for an appointment. When you're late, that's just telling somebody that you think your time's more important than theirs - and that's disrespectful.
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TrundleBum
Trad climber
Las Vegas
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I want to play !
I started this at parties lately:
"What are the achronyms and axioms you got from your parents?"
"A month of Sundays"
"Fair to middlin!"
"Beg, borrow or steal"
"Moss always grows on the north side of the tree"
"There but by the grace of God I go"
"If you see Buddha on the street ~ Kill him!"
"In no way, shape or form..."
"Praise Allah"
"Judge, Jury and Hangman..."
"How do you plead?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From ^ my dad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Your going to get caught and your father will find out"
"I can't do that without letting your father know"
"your so angry"
"You have to learn to stop burning bridges!"
"Your my L.L Bean man. A little to long in tooth for GQ but I could see you with an outdoor, yuppie family with kayaks and tents that cost to much"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From ^ my Mom :)
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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 4, 2014 - 09:12pm PT
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Awesome all!
As dad says, "anyone can make a lake, only God can make a river!"
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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"Quit trying to make mountains out of molehills."
"Stop bouncing off the walls."
"Come get your medicine," right before getting spanked.
"Jesus louisus there's fungus among us"
"Well I'll be dipped in sh#t."
and my favorite, "needle-dick the bug-f*#ker."
That was my dear Father.
My mom was more practical.
"Why don't you go outside and play?"
"Pick up your toys."
"Help me in the kitchen."
"Simmer down you little bastards."
She was from NY, so it sounded more like, "Simmah down ya liddle baastids."
God, I miss them.
Edit- Oh yeah, I almost forgot the most important one, the one that has been the most useful, usually said to my brother more than me, but I think It meant more to me and that was,
"Pay attention!"
Simple but powerful.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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My Dad used to warn us kids what that damned "boob-tube" would do to your minds. I still hate it when he is right.
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Delhi Dog
climber
Good Question...
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Oh man, my dad was the king of one liners, I've been writing them down since he passed a few years ago and I get a chuckle every time I think about them.
"Listen Buster, you keep that up and we're going to go around in circles and I'm going to go the fastest"
Or the variation, "...and YOU know who's gonna be the fastest!"
My dad worn cowboy boots everyday of his life. He'd take them off at the end of the day and I swear his toes were all pointed in the same shape.
These always followed when ever I got caught doing something wrong (which was pretty often judging by how many times I heard them).
"Bend over and grab your ankles," prior to a "swift kick in the pants".
"Lay off your brother or I'm gonna kick yer ass 'til your nose bleeds."
"You guys ready for the belt yet?"
"You keep that up and you won't be able to sit down for a week!"
"Keep that up and I'm pulling this car over and lay you across the hood and tan yer hide!"
I must of hear this 10,000 times, "LEAVE YER BROTHER ALONE DAMNIT!"
So many more:-)
One I'd like to use except I never had a son;
"Son, anyone can be an as#@&%e, please hold yourself to a higher standard."
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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"Bend over and grab your ankles."
"Mike, go comb your hair before you sit down."
"Did you wash your hands?"
"Never up, never in." (Golfing double entendre)
"What did you get on the Readers' Digest vocabulary quiz? I got 'em all...again." (NEVER failed, and he ALWAYS beat me at golf, hearts, and parenting)
Mom, on the other hand...
"Offer it up."
"Oh, tuck it in your ear."
"I'm NOT waiting for your father to get home!"
"Did you make your bed? You're not getting out of this house till you do."
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Charlie D.
Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
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After barfing my guts out one night my dad says in the morning.....
"Charles, don't abuse alcohol because it's something you'll never ever want to have to quit,"
During the late sixties watching my older brother doing poorly in college my dad tells me.......
"Charles, there's a war in SE Asia and your brother Stuart is making some very poor decisions." He ended up in Vietnam and I listened to dad and stayed in school!
Devastated by divorce my dad tells me.......
"Charles, you can now arrange your life the way you want it."
My dad had such great wisdom, I sure miss him.
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MisterE
climber
Bishop, CA
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From Mom when I suggested she make the pantry smaller and the closet bigger by moving a wall a little bit:
"You can't just hack it out with a chainsaw and call it a day!"
My aunt when we showed up at her place late one evening in our ski bus, and asked her if she knew where we could get some propane:
"I am not going out at this time of night to get you guys cocaine!"
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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in reference to the alleged failure for even considerable quantities of asian fare to stick with ya ... upon egress post feast, dad - every time:
"so, shall we stop at a few restaurants on the way home?"
~~~
hands on hips in front of a huge pile of shredded eucalyptus dumped upon my sister's socal driveway, intended for hillside mulch:
"good god maryanne! don't you know this stuff attracts koala bears?"
~~~
and the show stopper regarding risk sports:
"whaddya think you're charmed?"
i did, and was
till then
~~~
ma: "oh criminy"
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
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From my dad: "There isn't anyone that you can't learn something from, even if it's what not to do!"
From my mom: "you watch, I'm going to win that Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes, so you better be nice!"
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Magic Ed
Trad climber
Nuevo Leon, Mexico
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I learned three things from my Grandfather:
If you're going to help someone, help them, but don't expect anything in return.
You can fool anyone you want but don't fool yourself.
Never overlook a chance to take a leak.
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Gunkie
Trad climber
East Coast US
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My mom died many, many years ago and I don't care if I ever see my dad again. With that...
My mom: "grab my smokes"
My dad: "leave me alone, I've got better things to do"
It was always a party at my house.
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WyoRockMan
climber
Flank of the Big Horns
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From my grandpa:
Me: "How are you doing?"
Him: "Great. Then again, any day you're not being fed intravenously is a great day."
Me: "Man, I wish..."
Him: "If wishes were fishes, we'd have a big fry. If horse turds were biscuits, we'd eat til we die."
or
Him: "Wish in one hand and sh#t in the other. See which one fills up faster."
From my grandma:
"When I pass, keep my journal safe from the cousins. It has a few generations of our family history in it and I don't want those Mormons baptizing the whole lot of us."
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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I can't believe any of your mothers didn't tell you
"never go out without wearing clean underwear!"
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john hansen
climber
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I grew up in a big family , 8 kids from 18 years to 1 year old.
When ever one of us kids would have a friend over for dinner my dad would say, " You know milk went up 5 cents this week."
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mynameismud
climber
backseat
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Mom, "Was this a haxident" (I grew up splitting wood).
When ever we went swimming. "Do not drown or you will get a beating" (I have always been a strong swimmer, lousy technique, but a strong swimmer).
Dad "What?".
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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I started making fake school ID's in high school.
They worked at the tittay clubs, so they were in high demand.
As my father walked in on me ironing the plastic sleeves to about 40 ID's he takes one look, and without hesitation says-
"here let me show you how it's done"
I was 14.
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
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I can't believe any of your mothers didn't tell you
"never go out without wearing clean underwear!"
Similar, my Dad, who raised us, would say
"Wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident".
The other remark he'd say about some things
"Big as life and twice as natural".
Susan
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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 5, 2014 - 02:36pm PT
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As dad always says regardless of the situation... be it mountains or a little league game...
"Have Fun!"
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