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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 4, 2014 - 02:16pm PT
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I am trying to get my father to write down some stories. He doesn't often let them out without having to pry. Any suggestions or stories of your own? Below is a quote to a reporter of some magazine (not yet published).
I am happy to say this was his first email!!!!
"I've made two circumnavigations by sail. The first crewing on a square-rigger and then with my wife Lynn on a 40 foot sloop. Both were long before satellite navigation and GPS. We navigated with only sextant, time piece, and compass. Our depth finder was a lead line. Both times the idea was to see remote places & peoples that you couldn't get to unless you sailed yourself there. We sought out the really out of the way and hidden islands of the South Pacific and Indian Oceans. We also wanted to dive and photograph the underwater life at these remote locations and were very likely the first to do so."
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ron gomez
Trad climber
fallbrook,ca
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I should get Bridwell on here....he's told me some amazing stories about his Dad.
Peace
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BigFeet
Trad climber
Texas
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Short quotes I fondly remember my Mom telling me when I was young:
"Wait until your Father gets home."
"You'll be grounded."
"You are never going to make it to adulthood taking risks the way you do." (40 now and I still don't think she sees me as an adult, but neither do I sometimes.)
Short quotes from my Father:
"I'll beat you to an inche of your life son."
"You see, women... " (elaborate all you want here)
"Live life by the golden rule which is to treat others as you would like them to treat you."
These have stuck with me for some reason. I have good stories too.
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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My great grandmother had some real gems. She once said about a small room, " this room is so small, you can't cuss a cat without getting fur in your teeth". Well....., she WAS a Dodger fan.
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StahlBro
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
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My step dad:
"It's only 11 more miles"
"It's gotta hurt, and you gotta like it"
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j-tree
Big Wall climber
Typewriters and Ledges
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Q-Ball you'll prolly have to take matters into your own hands. Not everybody likes to write. Or wants to write stuff down. I suggest you record the stories. Go for a visit and get him talking and when a story starts, turn on your cel phone & record it.
Second this. Even with her permission to ask and record, I couldn't get my grandmother to talk in a flowing way about her experiences in England during WW2 in a formal interview setting so I ended up just recording her on my iPhone without her knowing it after bringing up things "I learned" from researching WW2 experiences in England of which I knew she had experiential knowledge.
 - -
In other news, I remember my father once saying to me as we hiked over the peaks at Pinnacles National Monument and passed some climbers, "There goes one of the most selfish and destructive user groups in the park." - My father had obviously never seen the effects of my Boy Scout troop on the park.
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clode
Trad climber
portland, or
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My Dad, now 93, was in the Navy during WW II. He was on a troop transport ship (U.S.S. Carteret), at Iwo Jima. He made a landing there and brought back (i.e., smuggled) a Jap rifle with a bayonet. I used to play with it a lot when I was in grade school. In fact, I have it now, safely hidden in my home somewhere. He and my Mom worked out a series of codes he could send to her so she would know where he was out in the ocean. Somehow he managed to get away with it, since disclosing U.S. naval locations was, shall we say, somewhat un-American?!
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
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When I was little and wanted to fish with my Dad and brothers he would say 'if you wanna fish with me and the boys you're gonna have to learn to bait your own hook". This innocent "grow up" statement has carried me through life!
Miss him. He died in June at 91.
Susan
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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"you know why they don't send donkeys to college?"
Silence
"cause nobody likes a smart ass!"
"Who lost the battle of Hastings?...... Ethelred the unready!"
Dad had a million of them...
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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 4, 2014 - 03:39pm PT
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Tami- thanks for the thoughts, and sorry for your loss.
He is still in good health but very quiet on telling stories.
To get him going you have to be specific, example...
In an airport and I bought a magazine. Flipping through it he stopped me and Dad said, "good grief" ". The page was a resort in the South Pacific, near New Guinea.
Dad said, "last time I was there I was harpooning dolphins", the now picture is bungalows over the water, "and at night we caught crocs for trader Bill."
If it wasn't for that random magazine picture I wouldn't know this.
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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From a note from my grandmother years ago...
"Your mother told me about your midnight descent and how much fun it was"
LOL!
The note contained a $50 check to go towards a new rope.
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
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Not a parent quote but something funny.
Many years ago, back in the 1970s, I was in line at the grocery store checkout and saw an older woman, in a huff, return a magazine to it's rack. She then said, "I thought they really meant sex in your 70s." The headline was something like "Sex In The 70s", obviously meaning that decade!
At the time I probably thought "ewwwwww".
Susan
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Gal
Trad climber
going big air to fakie
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You can't just go slopping through life! -Mom
We are one step away from debtors prison! -Mom
These sentiments started being expressed at about age 4 - damn, no wonder I can feel unexplained worry sometimes...
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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More dadisms;
"I've never seen an abominable snowman, but maybe I'll see one Yeti!"
He also liked to quote Holden Caufield "I'm a gaddam prince!" I hadn't read Catcher in the rye yet, but he told us kids that's where it was from. Maybe so we wouldn't think he was crazy.
One time, he introduced me to a new to me phrase; I don't remember what smart Alec thing I had said at the dinner table, but when my mom went to get something in the kitchen he said, in a low voice so she couldn't hear, "You're so full of it your eyes are turning brown!"
My favorite though was at the awards ceremony for the Badger pass cross country ski race.he had been running, to be in shape for this but came down with the flu at the last minute but skies anyway. He came in dead last! By maybe an hour! Ned Gillette was the master of ceremonies. He announced my dad's name and asked him to the Lectern to receive a bottle of champagne, which my dad, looking green, mounted the platform and accepted. As he walked off he turned around and spoke into the mike in front of perhaps two hundred people "and I trained!"
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MH2
climber
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From my younger brother when he was about 4 years old:
"Peace and twamee."
Spelling uncertain. It might have been, "peas and tummy," for example.
No idea what he meant but it has proved to be broadly useful.
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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"You eat my food and drink my wine;..you will dance to my music"
" With responsibility, ....comes freedom"
"You need health insurance; not a porta-ledge"
" Get a haircut and get a job. "
" Get a college degree;..then you can be a bum. "
" Don't get yourself or anyone else killed, don't get a girl pregnant, don't end up in jail, and don't go to Mexico."
All quotes from my Dad;...Willard Gordon
A wise, supportive, and awesome father.
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Norton
Social climber
quitcherbellyachin
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"Peace and twamee."
please and thank you
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Leggs
Sport climber
Made in California
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"Don't put that in your mouth!
You don't know where it's been."
:)
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JustThatEasy
climber
South Lake Tahoe, CA
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"Do something, even if it's wrong".
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jgill
Boulder climber
Colorado
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After returning from my first climbing trip out west in 1954:
Dad: Son, I'm glad you made it back. I took out a burial policy on you.
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kpinwalla2
Social climber
WA
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"Now I could understand climbing that rock if there was a million dollars up there, but to risk your life for no good reason, that's just stupid".
"Camping? I feel I'm roughing it when I have to stay at a Holiday Inn."
"Don't ever be late for an appointment. When you're late, that's just telling somebody that you think your time's more important than theirs - and that's disrespectful.
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TrundleBum
Trad climber
Las Vegas
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I want to play !
I started this at parties lately:
"What are the achronyms and axioms you got from your parents?"
"A month of Sundays"
"Fair to middlin!"
"Beg, borrow or steal"
"Moss always grows on the north side of the tree"
"There but by the grace of God I go"
"If you see Buddha on the street ~ Kill him!"
"In no way, shape or form..."
"Praise Allah"
"Judge, Jury and Hangman..."
"How do you plead?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From ^ my dad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Your going to get caught and your father will find out"
"I can't do that without letting your father know"
"your so angry"
"You have to learn to stop burning bridges!"
"Your my L.L Bean man. A little to long in tooth for GQ but I could see you with an outdoor, yuppie family with kayaks and tents that cost to much"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From ^ my Mom :)
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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 4, 2014 - 09:12pm PT
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Awesome all!
As dad says, "anyone can make a lake, only God can make a river!"
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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"Quit trying to make mountains out of molehills."
"Stop bouncing off the walls."
"Come get your medicine," right before getting spanked.
"Jesus louisus there's fungus among us"
"Well I'll be dipped in sh#t."
and my favorite, "needle-dick the bug-f*#ker."
That was my dear Father.
My mom was more practical.
"Why don't you go outside and play?"
"Pick up your toys."
"Help me in the kitchen."
"Simmer down you little bastards."
She was from NY, so it sounded more like, "Simmah down ya liddle baastids."
God, I miss them.
Edit- Oh yeah, I almost forgot the most important one, the one that has been the most useful, usually said to my brother more than me, but I think It meant more to me and that was,
"Pay attention!"
Simple but powerful.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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My Dad used to warn us kids what that damned "boob-tube" would do to your minds. I still hate it when he is right.
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Delhi Dog
climber
Good Question...
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Oh man, my dad was the king of one liners, I've been writing them down since he passed a few years ago and I get a chuckle every time I think about them.
"Listen Buster, you keep that up and we're going to go around in circles and I'm going to go the fastest"
Or the variation, "...and YOU know who's gonna be the fastest!"
My dad worn cowboy boots everyday of his life. He'd take them off at the end of the day and I swear his toes were all pointed in the same shape.
These always followed when ever I got caught doing something wrong (which was pretty often judging by how many times I heard them).
"Bend over and grab your ankles," prior to a "swift kick in the pants".
"Lay off your brother or I'm gonna kick yer ass 'til your nose bleeds."
"You guys ready for the belt yet?"
"You keep that up and you won't be able to sit down for a week!"
"Keep that up and I'm pulling this car over and lay you across the hood and tan yer hide!"
I must of hear this 10,000 times, "LEAVE YER BROTHER ALONE DAMNIT!"
So many more:-)
One I'd like to use except I never had a son;
"Son, anyone can be an as#@&%e, please hold yourself to a higher standard."
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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"Bend over and grab your ankles."
"Mike, go comb your hair before you sit down."
"Did you wash your hands?"
"Never up, never in." (Golfing double entendre)
"What did you get on the Readers' Digest vocabulary quiz? I got 'em all...again." (NEVER failed, and he ALWAYS beat me at golf, hearts, and parenting)
Mom, on the other hand...
"Offer it up."
"Oh, tuck it in your ear."
"I'm NOT waiting for your father to get home!"
"Did you make your bed? You're not getting out of this house till you do."
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Charlie D.
Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
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After barfing my guts out one night my dad says in the morning.....
"Charles, don't abuse alcohol because it's something you'll never ever want to have to quit,"
During the late sixties watching my older brother doing poorly in college my dad tells me.......
"Charles, there's a war in SE Asia and your brother Stuart is making some very poor decisions." He ended up in Vietnam and I listened to dad and stayed in school!
Devastated by divorce my dad tells me.......
"Charles, you can now arrange your life the way you want it."
My dad had such great wisdom, I sure miss him.
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MisterE
climber
Bishop, CA
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From Mom when I suggested she make the pantry smaller and the closet bigger by moving a wall a little bit:
"You can't just hack it out with a chainsaw and call it a day!"
My aunt when we showed up at her place late one evening in our ski bus, and asked her if she knew where we could get some propane:
"I am not going out at this time of night to get you guys cocaine!"
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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in reference to the alleged failure for even considerable quantities of asian fare to stick with ya ... upon egress post feast, dad - every time:
"so, shall we stop at a few restaurants on the way home?"
~~~
hands on hips in front of a huge pile of shredded eucalyptus dumped upon my sister's socal driveway, intended for hillside mulch:
"good god maryanne! don't you know this stuff attracts koala bears?"
~~~
and the show stopper regarding risk sports:
"whaddya think you're charmed?"
i did, and was
till then
~~~
ma: "oh criminy"
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
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From my dad: "There isn't anyone that you can't learn something from, even if it's what not to do!"
From my mom: "you watch, I'm going to win that Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes, so you better be nice!"
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Magic Ed
Trad climber
Nuevo Leon, Mexico
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I learned three things from my Grandfather:
If you're going to help someone, help them, but don't expect anything in return.
You can fool anyone you want but don't fool yourself.
Never overlook a chance to take a leak.
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Gunkie
Trad climber
East Coast US
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My mom died many, many years ago and I don't care if I ever see my dad again. With that...
My mom: "grab my smokes"
My dad: "leave me alone, I've got better things to do"
It was always a party at my house.
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WyoRockMan
climber
Flank of the Big Horns
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From my grandpa:
Me: "How are you doing?"
Him: "Great. Then again, any day you're not being fed intravenously is a great day."
Me: "Man, I wish..."
Him: "If wishes were fishes, we'd have a big fry. If horse turds were biscuits, we'd eat til we die."
or
Him: "Wish in one hand and sh#t in the other. See which one fills up faster."
From my grandma:
"When I pass, keep my journal safe from the cousins. It has a few generations of our family history in it and I don't want those Mormons baptizing the whole lot of us."
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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I can't believe any of your mothers didn't tell you
"never go out without wearing clean underwear!"
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john hansen
climber
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I grew up in a big family , 8 kids from 18 years to 1 year old.
When ever one of us kids would have a friend over for dinner my dad would say, " You know milk went up 5 cents this week."
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mynameismud
climber
backseat
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Mom, "Was this a haxident" (I grew up splitting wood).
When ever we went swimming. "Do not drown or you will get a beating" (I have always been a strong swimmer, lousy technique, but a strong swimmer).
Dad "What?".
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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I started making fake school ID's in high school.
They worked at the tittay clubs, so they were in high demand.
As my father walked in on me ironing the plastic sleeves to about 40 ID's he takes one look, and without hesitation says-
"here let me show you how it's done"
I was 14.
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
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I can't believe any of your mothers didn't tell you
"never go out without wearing clean underwear!"
Similar, my Dad, who raised us, would say
"Wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident".
The other remark he'd say about some things
"Big as life and twice as natural".
Susan
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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 5, 2014 - 02:36pm PT
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As dad always says regardless of the situation... be it mountains or a little league game...
"Have Fun!"
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Mom:
What's for dinner? "Purple Milk and Poison"
"I'm going to sell you to the gypsies!"
"I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap!" (and she did on many occasions)
or just "Go get the soap"
"Wipe that smirk off your face!"
"I'm cold, (you) put on a jacket"
Tired feet at the end of the work day: "My dogs are barking"
Flatulence: "Barking Spiders"
Dad:
"Shoot low, they're riding Shetlands"
When I ask a question he can't readily answer: "'cause ice cream don't have bones"
And we had numerous family jokes, quotes of funny TV sketches or commercials that wouldn't make sense to anyone else. Some of the more accessible ones:
"You broke your leg? We gotta get you to the hospital!" (from a SNL skit Mr Short Term Memory Man with Tom Hanks I think)
Weird how I can't remember them now... when my mom and brother and I get together, my wife doesn't understand what we're saying with so many cryptic references.
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BBA
climber
OF
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"There's only one thing worse than being old, Bill, and that's being old and poor."
Listen up dirt bags
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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This is actually a pretty cool thread.
My Grandfather was a pretty badass hardman - he ran a cattle ranch AND drove a log truck well into his 60s. To this day I won't smoke or cuss around that man, he'd kick my ass.
He told me something when I was a kid that always stuck with me. He said that if I always wanted to be employed, then I needed to find a job that no one else wanted to do, and do it better then anyone else.
When I was 16 I found out that people generally disliked packing their own parachutes, I got really good at it and that kept me employed off and on for over 15 years.
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mynameismud
climber
backseat
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"Who would have thunk it"
Was years after my Mom passed before I realized she was a fan of Greg
Brown.
I know one thing well. I should have been a better son.
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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 5, 2014 - 06:12pm PT
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"HEAD FOR THE BOATS" My father receiving arrow fire from Jawari Indians on North Sentinel Island, Andaman Islands.
He loves to yell it when it pleases him.
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
extraordinaire
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one.
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covelocos
Trad climber
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"Girls are pretty, they smell nice, and you don't hit them. Ever." 4 sons. Pop told us all.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, all...
dad: he loved 'peanuts cartoon'... so this is a first:
1--"good grief"
2--"yee gad" (something similar)
mom:
1--"well that's just TERRIBLE"
2--"it's so unneccesary"
these, from both folks, were always for those
sudden unexplainable type situations that arose,
which were usually minor, but required 'adjustment
in thinking' as to 'what to do next'... :)
edit:
as more come to remembrance, i will add them later, :)
they didn't have too many 'set ones' though...
if i think of a good one that was 'for the long haul, but said
often, those are good, too... :)
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Dickbob
climber
Westminster Colorado
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My Dad, who just past a few weeks ago could repair anything he put his mind to always said:
It ain't a piano and nothing, absolutely nothing, needs to be that tight.
Hey Neebee. Hope your well.
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TGT
Social climber
So Cal
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Keep your eyes peeled
your ears open
And your mouth shut!
You just might see something.
Dad would always enforce silence on hikes.
Over the years I've noticed that often I saw, heard or was otherwise more aware of my surroundings than those I was with. They often missed out on something I saw or heard and when I commented and drew attention to it, it was already too late and they thought I was a bit daft as they saw nothing.
It was perhaps the most important thing he taught us and has served well as an operating procedure no matter the endeavor.
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Daphne
Trad climber
Northern California
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You are going to go to the party and you are going to have a good time!
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rlf
Trad climber
Josh, CA
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Stop crying, it's only a couple of stitches.
I spent a lot of quality time in the ER.
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Anxious Melancholy
Mountain climber
Between the Depths of Despair & Heights of Folly
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As a kid, when starting a sentance with the word "so", if one paused, mom would jump in with a quick, "Sew buttons, snaps are cheaper, buttons are in style."
When I was 19 ('77) and working in Bismark ND, I got busted for pot. Lost my job and made the long drive back to San Diego to find a note on my parent's front door ( they were at church), "You can enter and take a shower, but don't unpack." When they got home we had a little talk about my inability to behave in a responsible manner. They said if I was to reamin under their roof I needed to wear underwear, get my hair cut, get a job, and hand over my pay checks to them; otherwise they wanted me out.
As I walked out the door shortly therafter they told me to never come back and ask them for anything (and I never have).
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JOEY.F
Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
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Joseph, I am not driving all over creation to find you.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, DickBob... oh my, i been going through some things...
and did not have time... but--
am sending you a card... i think you know, too, my daddy passed on in beginning of feb... :(
thanks for the 'hey there', this eve...
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eeyonkee
Trad climber
Golden, CO
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Dad, on not wanting to exercise - "You only have so many steps."
On one of his 11 kid's (say) 10th birthday "When I was you age, I was 11".
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Norton
Social climber
quitcherbellyachin
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my all time favorite from my dad:
kwitcherbellyakin
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
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Oh Tami...yes....I remember that one and how at first I was too young to "get it" but eventually did. I used to think "well our cats shed, I guess the big cats in Africa don't shed, what's the big deal?"
Another one from my dad (many times)... "One of these days young lady, you're going to have a rude awakening". As I'd get in trouble again and again etc.
Susan
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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"Is the driveway shoveled?"
That was good prep for SuperTopo.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, all...
just remembered this one, was doing some project and had to get ready to leave, i remembered...
more from my dad:
1--"home again, jiggity, jig jig"
(we were very young, then, for that one, though) :)
also:
2--"i don't know, and i don't care"
(forgot what situations that was for)... :))
though, i know it meant he had better things to do, :))
as to whatever the situation was, that happened, that
me or whoever, 'tried to thrust upon him' as kids are known to do, :)
and this one, i loved:
it was always:
3--"nighty night"
edit:
just shared this with some friends at the facebook, of what my dad always said, as well--forgot all about it, until i said it to them, about my art-oils...
4--"keep plugging-away at it"
:)
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rmuir
Social climber
From the Time Before the Rocks Cooled.
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Dad: "It doesn't cost any more to go first class."
Mom: "Don't put that toy in the toaster!"
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, tami... wow, i was so blessed to get to meet that 'goat of the sea'... though we only had a few hours, and shared a table with many, i was able to get to enjoy her company, and was so very happy to meet her (along with the others, too)...
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
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Goat of the sea I hope to meet you some day. If not in this lifetime in the next Back at you, Tami. I prefer this lifetime.
How could I have forgotten this one....
Doing my teen years when I was old enough to hang out in coed groups and maybe even "date" ... Or whatever it was we did in the really awkward years.
As I would leave the house to go to a dance or party...
"Better not be any hanky panky going on"
Again, I didn't "get it" at first, then I understood...but in "those" days it was all about petting. "Going all the way"....well that was reserved for girls that smoked or went to the Catholic high school!
Susan
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