What is the point of relationships? [off topic]

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Messages 61 - 80 of total 94 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Largo

Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
Sep 1, 2014 - 09:56am PT
My ex recently died. Try as I did I could never make that relationship work and it nearly ruined me because I didn't give it up earlier. She was a luminous person when I first met her but depression and other factors eventually made her untenable, even with my two daughters. But her best friend, a small dog, stayed by her side to the end. I suppose we'd have to ask Mariana what the dog meant to her, in terms of their relationship. I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Mariana with my first daughter, Marianne del Valle, now an MD.
Mariana with my first daughter, Marianne del Valle, now an MD.
Credit: Largo


Fido
Fido
Credit: Largo
Credit: Largo

JL
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Sep 1, 2014 - 10:01am PT
Sorry to hear that John. I don't think there are conclusions that the rest of us need to draw. Congratulations on a daughter MD.
Chief

climber
The NW edge of The Hudson Bay
Sep 1, 2014 - 10:28am PT
Largo, that's an incredibly sad story too similar to my own experience.

My first wife (a fabulous Montana gal) grew tired of my behaviour and we divorced after a decade together in a painful separation characterized by the usual pain and acrimony.

About a year and a half later, I bumped into her with her new guy and we instinctively gave each other a big heartfelt hug.

We dusted ourselves off and remained the best of friends sharing a love of bluegrass and the social scene it goes with including jam sessions at each other's homes and festivals with our friends.

Tragically, she was struck by cancer and eventually succumbed to an illness she did her damnedest to beat. I visited her in hospital a few days before she passed, played some music for her and reminded her how much she meant to me.

I still miss her and realized that our relationship didn't end with our divorce but simply changed to end what didn't work and allow us to enjoy the best of each other.
I think this sort of outcome is far more the exception than the rule and I'm eternally grateful to Jan for the gift of her love.

Apropos to the OP, I think one of the many points of romantic relationships, along with getting laid, sharing common interests and having fun is, in part, about the reasonable opportunity to meet each other's emotional needs; we all have them.

In the bigger scheme of things, healthy social anchors are vital to a full and meaningful life and the real gold in our far too fleeting journey.

Relationships are like teeth; you only have to take care of the ones you want to keep and life's a lot less savoury without them.
thebravecowboy

climber
strugglin' to make time to climb
Sep 1, 2014 - 01:16pm PT
It all comes down to getting belayed enough.
Chief

climber
The NW edge of The Hudson Bay
Sep 1, 2014 - 01:48pm PT
Perfect!
locker

climber
STFU n00b!!!
Sep 1, 2014 - 02:06pm PT


"^^^^^

Survival = Getting laid."
...



Last I checked, "Getting laid" in and of itself does not survival make...


Please correct me if I am mistaken...

BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Sep 1, 2014 - 02:14pm PT

What is the point of relationships?

Certainly we seek the relationship that will eventually allow us to feel and share through eye to eye, and body to body, and spirit to spirit the two opposite, very contrasting beings that is Man and Woman. Experiencing Organism simultaneously while true love radiates thru the eyes with the anticipation of creating another humanbeing fortified by an oath of a life-long marriage. Evolution aligned our our "most pleasurable" senses and feelings with reproduction. If sex hurt we prolly wouldn't procreate? But without the notion of procreation, man/woman seek the physical act of sex purely to resolve/create shared senses/feelings of pleasure. Is this Natural? Is it from Nature? Do we know if any other species has sex solely for the pleasure of it?
What is the point of a relationship between two spawning Salmon, and that between their hatchlings? Or what's the point between two adult Grizzly bears, and that between the mother and the cubs? Or even the more pronounced relationships we see in Elephant herds or Whale schools?

What should we point out to our children about relationships?

What does daddy Humpback tell his daughter?
Tvash

climber
Seattle
Sep 1, 2014 - 02:33pm PT
Spawning involves no touching or intimacy.

Hence, the term.

Salmon are probably not even self-aware, given their lack of neo-cortex.

If pregnancy is required for you to achieve true intimacy - I think at least some women might choose to demure. Weird, really.

Have you see elephants having sex?

Not a whole lotta tenderness there.

Humpback indeed.

SC seagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
Sep 1, 2014 - 02:35pm PT
Why does there have to be a "point"?
So things just "are". They work. Or they don't.

Susan

Tvash

climber
Seattle
Sep 1, 2014 - 03:15pm PT
Intimacy has no 'purpose'.

It IS the purpose.

If you can find it in any form, you can safely say you've truly lived.
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Sep 1, 2014 - 03:23pm PT

Why does there have to be a "point"?

The mere fact that we're able to make it a point, is my point. It's an important distinction IMO that seperates us from the animals. Shouldn't we celebrate the fact and hold it up like a trophy?
SC seagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, or In What Time Zone Am I?
Sep 1, 2014 - 03:44pm PT
It's an important distinction IMO that seperates us from the animals.
Well, technically we aren't separate from animals. My point is that often we get into an "analysis - paralysis" in overthinking relationships, be they intimate or friendships. This over thinking relationships can punch holes in the fluidity of a connection.
The most important relationship one has is with his/her self. The rest is frosting on the cake or a turd in the punch bowl. Your life, your choice.
Susan
Jim Brennan

Trad climber
Canada
Sep 1, 2014 - 04:03pm PT
A good relationship on any level shouldn't be about achieving a trophy, BLUEBLOCR.

Thanks for your eloquence and logic, Largo and Chief.
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Sep 1, 2014 - 04:19pm PT
The trophy i'm polishing is the fact we have a free-will choice of slipping on a rubber, or not. Animals?
Jim Brennan

Trad climber
Canada
Sep 1, 2014 - 04:23pm PT
Keep polishing, no need for a rubber...
The Warbler

climber
the edge of America
Sep 1, 2014 - 04:45pm PT
Relationships are a trade off.

An opportunity to grow that limits your opportunities to grow

Sex at the expense of hassle free sex

Companionship at the expense of a variety of companions

Money saved at the expense of money spent

I think yin yang
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Maestro, Ecosystem Ministry, Fatcrackistan
Sep 2, 2014 - 08:22am PT
Love.

That is the only point of a relationship.

The rest is just contract law, boring stuff.

DMT
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Maestro, Ecosystem Ministry, Fatcrackistan
Sep 2, 2014 - 08:23am PT
Sex at the expense of hassle free sex

Companionship at the expense of a variety of companions

Strictly theoretical.

DMT
Tvash

climber
Seattle
Sep 2, 2014 - 08:45am PT
Jesus, who keeps their trophies into adulthood when you can use that display case for limited edition figurines and commemorative plates instead?
Tvash

climber
Seattle
Sep 2, 2014 - 08:46am PT
One can't have a variety of companions when engaged in an intimate relationship?

Sucks to be you, I guess.
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