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pc
climber
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Topic Author's Original Post - Aug 21, 2014 - 10:02am PT
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Can be climbing related or not....
You know those moments that haunt you by popping up in your mind from time to time, making you visibly cringe and go...DOH!
I'm too embarrassed to list mine but feel free...
edit. Ok...
"Nice" one Roots. A similar episode (combo of yours and Anita's ;), not so backcountry though.
...A few years ago I traveled down to San Francisco on biz to meet with one of the "hot du jour" social networking companies. Was decked out in my best "Sunday go to meetin'" equivalent. It had been a long'ish flight, rental car drive, etc so after I checked in at the front desk I asked to use the restroom before the folks I was meeting came down to fetch me. While pissing I attempted a nice subtle evacuation of some gas as no one was around. Well, you've probably all (or not) experienced those rare occasions where the last spicy meal you had catches up with you and rather than the usual "clean" gas evacuation, a "swamp bubble" rears its ugly head. Yep. All over the inside of my Calvin Kleins. Oh shit!....
....Tune in next time to learn how this fearless and fartless software dude escaped, or not, from a truly shitty situation.
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Roots
Mountain climber
Tustin, CA
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Aug 21, 2014 - 10:30am PT
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I'm too embarrassed to list mine but feel free...
^Chump : )
I took a sht on the side of Cayambe and was too tired to wipe my ass. It stunk for a day or two. -my clothes and my ass.
Dig it! now please share your story....
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Aug 21, 2014 - 10:32am PT
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... every time I fart thinking no one is around
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Aug 21, 2014 - 10:34am PT
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Probably about 12 years old, hangin' with my friends beside some creek near our town, fully clothed and shoed. The other two guys take a running jump across and make it. I back up enough to reach full speed, trip just as I'm about to launch, and do a full-speed face-plant into the creek.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Aug 21, 2014 - 10:35am PT
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You mean the time when I got tossed out of a party at the U.S. Consulate in Dhahran, KSA for getting too messed up, blasting a fire extinguisher and calling the US Marines a bunch of pussies?
Embarrassment and fond memories at the same time will have to do in this case......
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dave729
Trad climber
Western America
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Aug 21, 2014 - 11:09am PT
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There must be an evolutionary reason those kinds of events are so easy to remember.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Aug 21, 2014 - 11:39am PT
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Survival, nice!
So, as a snot-nosed midshipman I spent part of my summer vacation experiencing
the Navy as an enlisted man, rotating through the various shipboard departments.
It was really enjoyable and I developed a real appreciation of many enlisted men.
The feeling was not always reciprocated, at least upon initial introduction to
a given department, OK, to most departments. Anyway, we were tied up at
the North Island Naval Air Station dock in San Diego and I was doing my
gunnery stint. Now, in some departments a middie might be occasionally
considered marginally useful but a week spent in gunnery might raise you to
a usefulness best described as 'tits on a boar hog'. Given that, when the
Chief gave us our marching orders, so to speak, at the morning muster he
looked at me and I could see him scratching his head mentally. Not knowing,
or caring, what my name was he looked at me and said, "Rustle up some Brasso
and shine all the placards on the rear turrets." Sweet! The aft turrets
on the carrier are, duh, below the flight deck and are a favorite place to
'skate' and sunbathe. It was also obvious that I was being directed to stay
the hell out of anybody's way. Whether or not I would be able to bring those
brass placards to a higher state of sheen was clearly not deemed important.
Upon arrival I stripped off my shirt and set about polishing with a vengeance.
45 minutes saw my travails at an end and I had already learned that presenting
myself for further employ prior to lunch would not be looked upon kindly so
I devoted myself to some serious sunbathing, keeping the Brasso can and rags
ready to go at the moment I saw one of the bench dogs move the slightest meaning
a 'door' was being opened onto the turret platform. After a while serious boredom
set in, not a good thing when a 19 year old and naval artillery are involved.
Now, being the diligent young middie that I was I had the twin 3"/50
turret powered up so it could be rotated for optimal access to all the placards.
Then I saw it. One of the San Diego harbor cruise boats was
cruising along our side of the bay and heading right for us. It was about
100 yards behind us when I slid my hands onto the controls and rotated the
bizness end toward the cruise boat. Then I depressed the guns and locked
on the 'target' and began tracking it, increasingly depressing the guns the
closer it got, all the while listening to the cruise narrator drone on.
"On the right, ladies and gentlemen, we have the USS Okinawa, bla-bla-bla."
The narrator was probably more bored than me as he clearly wasn't paying
any attention, at least to the degree that his customers were, many of whom
were now vigorously pointing in my direction. There were a whole lot of
cameras pointed my way too. I'm pretty sure I saw a number of youngsters
jumping up and down. Then the thought worked its way to the forefront of my
puerile mind, "Maybe this isn't the best thing you could be doing, eh, doofus?"
Believe it, or knott, nothing came of it so I was never embarrassed, or worse,
until now. :-/
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Gunkie
Trad climber
East Coast US
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Aug 21, 2014 - 11:54am PT
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This is a slippery slope kind of thread.
I full expect to read about the sexual, bowel movement, sans clothing exploits of other ST'ers.
Have at it.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Aug 21, 2014 - 11:56am PT
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Nope. Not if you're not gonna play......
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Gunkie
Trad climber
East Coast US
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Aug 21, 2014 - 12:00pm PT
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Nope. Not if you're not gonna play......
I'm sober and on a job site right now. four hours from now...
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pc
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 21, 2014 - 12:48pm PT
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Bump for OP edit above...
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Aug 21, 2014 - 12:57pm PT
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Well, you said most embarrassing moments. I wasn't embarrassed when I climbed North Ridge of Conness with my bunghole and teabag aflyin' free. Now if another party had stumbled across us during one of our breaks, it might have become embarrassing.
And if someone posts up pictures here from the camera we accidentally left at the pizza shop in Groveland, I'm pretty sure I'd be embarrassed.
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pc
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 21, 2014 - 01:16pm PT
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Reilly, Cringe worthy for sure...
Another one for me that wasn't so embarrassing or cringe worthy as so just plain stupid it makes me absolutely shudder every time I think about it.
I was about 8 and my Pop had just bought me a new bow for target practice in the hay bales behind our house. Being a curious / brainless 8 year old I wondered how high in the air, straight up, I could fire my target arrows. It was a pretty heavy bow for me so I drew it back, leaned back so it was pointing up as best as I could, and let fly. Woohoo! It practically disappeared from sight it went so high. As I tracked it coming back down, a little (75 feet or so) off to my right, I heard a scratching sound at ground level in the general direction. I looked over and saw our neighbor, an old timer in his eighties, working in the flower bed that separated our yards. So many thoughts rushed through, it seemed like time practically stopped. Suffice to say I froze, couldn't move nor shout a warning. Just watched the arrow tracking back to earth toward him. Missed him by about 15 feet. He never heard or saw anything....Just went on scratching in the garden. I snuck over to retrieve the arrow then ran back inside. Never to fire upward that way again. Whew!
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Gunkie
Trad climber
East Coast US
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Aug 21, 2014 - 01:31pm PT
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OK, I can chime in regarding shooting arrows straight up...
When I was in high school, there was a block party going on, when people still had block parties. A friend had a compound bow for hunting and the requisite razor-tipped-in-one-way-only type of arrows. So, of course, we started shooting them straight up into the air a few lots away from where the block party was happening.
We actually were fairly responsible, at first. Then, not wanting to be out done, we started pulling back as had as we could. Eventually, one friend rolled onto his back, put the bow on his feet and pulled with everything he had and let it rip. It was gone in an instant but he had rolled a little too far onto his back and the trajectory pointed it somewhat toward the ongoing block party.
I fully expected someone to start screaming from the party in a few seconds. After what seemed like hours, no yelling, no screaming, and no one was dead. So we slink over to the party looking around. After 15 minutes someone finds the arrow. It's buried up to the tail of the feathers 10 inches behind my friend's great-great-grandmother who was like 105 years old and died a month later. She had no idea the arrow augered in right behind her.
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kaholatingtong
Trad climber
Nevada City
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Aug 21, 2014 - 01:38pm PT
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rushing to class to a final at SFSU I saw a car ahead of me at the light and I assumed the care ahead of me was going to make it through the intersection so I could just cruise through. Unfortunately they changed their mind at the last second and due to the wet pavement I was unable to stop my bike, being that I had kinda planned on and anticipated blowing through the intersection right before the light changed. This was right at the top of SFSU where the big MUNI line lets off for SFSU, and being that it was during finals, and like 3 minutes before 8am, there was probably over 200 people that had just excited the muni and were standing right there, also waiting for the lights to change so they could cross the street. Being unable to stop in time to NOT rear end the car in my bike I swerved around them, was still mashing my front brakes as hard as I could( ohh being a poor college student and riding around SF with only front brakes on the bicycle... ) anyways, I didn't stop in time, did manage to avoid rear ending the car, but managed to do a complete over the front handle bar endo into a superman dive into the pavement no more than 5 feet away from the 200 + person audience perfectly assembled at just the right moment. The light at the intersection was just changing too, so I had to pop up like a jack in the box and GTFO the intersection. Maybe a humorous experience for some, myself in hindsight included, but I genuinely felt bad for whoever had to correct my final cause I bled all over the thing, and was writing some bizarre stuff on there ...
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Aug 21, 2014 - 04:03pm PT
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Any time I've tried to dance.
So not good.
Reilly, you made my hair stand on end! LOL
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Aug 21, 2014 - 04:14pm PT
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There was this one (or three) times I've climbed up and forgotten the hammer or drill on an FA. Only a couple were hard moves to reverse.
Such wasted energy.
Everyone laughs. Good times, really.
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pc
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 21, 2014 - 10:24pm PT
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Awesome! I had almost forgotten that story by Will. Thanks Matisse.
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gonamok
climber
dont make me come over there
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Aug 22, 2014 - 03:44am PT
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Years ago I was bouldering with a group of people i didnt know at Joshua Tree. It was winter, and back then we used to buy surplus USMC dress pants for winter, because they were 100% wool. Problem is, they didnt stretch real well. So everyone is taking turns trying this problem that involves a real long stem. Of course it was a mixed crowd, women, children, nuns etc.
On my next turn i threw a mighty stem and nailed it, tearing the crotch seam of my wool pants in the process. As luck would have it, i wasnt wearing boxers on that day, and when my pants ripped, my nuts dropped thru the tear and hung there on display as i worked out the moves. It was like rip, plop.
An awkward situation was made more uncomfortable by the reaction of the onlookers, which was a strained silence. I would have felt better if a kid had yelled "mommy I see his balls!", but i dont think anyone even swallowed for the 3 minutes it took to finish the problem. The worst part of it was that my gonads were a decidedly unimpressive sight due to the cold weather, which reduced them to the appearance of withered squirrel lungs.
I continued over the boulder rather than return to my new friends. The upside is that i wore a pair of boxers outside my pants for the rest of the weekend, which gave me a very trendy appearance.
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