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Mikemcee
Social climber
Mill Valley, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 10, 2014 - 01:57pm PT
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I humped a fully laden pig up to the nice, flat bivy spot where the scrambly hike turns to ledge traverse to the start of the West Face route. Leaning Tower. I had always been really intimidated by Leaning Tower. Sentinel as well but that's a different story. I was here to climb the WFLT and as I waited for my partner to finish his hike, inhaling my still warm Taquerias El Agave burrito and chugging beer and Gatorade, I was super stoked. I was hot, I was tired, but I was super stoked to get on the route that had long given me the willies, the next morning.
Rewind a couple of weeks. My new partner and I had done the South Face of the Column. Having never climbed together, we figured doing something we had both been on before made sense. I hadn't aid climbed in a while and he was fairly new. We were slow, got caught behind a log jam of parties that backed up when a very friendly but inexperienced team spent 6 hours on the Kor Roof pitch and we ended up bailing at the top of 8 the next day so I could take my youngest kid to the fair as promised the next day. It was a good couple of days with a nice wind event and some decent heat ratcheting up the scary and discomfort factors just enough to make things memorable. As we hiked the final stretch of bike path back to the truck, we mulled plans for our next mission.
Climbing is scary. I accept that and typically deal with it by convincing myself that my rational thoughts are right and my irrational wrong. Simple formula but not foolproof. The psychological tug of war. It's a big part of why I enjoy the sport.
A couple of years ago, I sat at the top of the first pitch of Zodiac in November, staring at the impending winter storm approaching and refused to go any higher. My fear later rationalized when the storm did in fact hit hard. Yes, we may have been fine in the protected environs of the overhanging wall cocooned in our storm sealed ledge with plenty of food and water but somewhere along the line, I convinced myself that wasn't the way to get up the big stone for the first time. Fear, panic, a try, and for all intents and purposes, an acceptable bail in my book.
Back to WFLT. Back to my thread title. Back to the shame.
I mention this tidbit only because he admitted to it later but when my partner got to the bivy spot, he seemed rattled. Actually, he seemed more nervous on the drive from the Bay than I had seen him before. We turned in, determined to get an early start and began the ritual more akin to mating with ants than actual sleep. With a fitful night behind us, we were up with the sun and ready to go in short order. My partner woke up stoked, I came to feeling like I hadn't slept.
Apologies for the preceding set up fluff but here is the meat and potatoes of my thread and the reason I felt compelled to share this experience in hopes of finding a golden nugget of ST exorcism. It all went downhill from here. Figuratively AND literally.
We repacked the bag and headed up and out the traverse. Nice fixed lines were in place but the previous nights 2 beer scramble past the second tree I had done with just my headlamp to accompany me left me unprepared for what I was faced with in the daylight. Fear crept in. Truth be known, it had crept in during my ant dance of a fitful sleep and was now past the creep stage and onto more of a surge. My legs got heavier with every step, and suddenly, the urge to retreat was enveloping me like wet cement. Right before the first real step across past the tree, I took the pig off and sat for a few minutes under the guise to both myself and my partner that I just needed a little rest and wanted to unpack a bit so we could shuttle the last section. I sat some more as my partner (name absent to protect the innocent) kept things rolling and began to shuttle.
Completely unwound, I texted my wife who, as the mother of one of my three children and my most ardent supporter, would be the pragmatist. She would tell me it was ok to come down, ok to bail on a partner who had, like me taken time off work, invested in gear, etc, she would validate my fears and let me come down.
"Baby, you can do it. Get on the wall. It's totally safe, you'll be stoked once you get going. Don't quit!" I stared at the little screen, mouth agape as the words screamed at me louder than anything I had ever heard before. She was SUPPOSED to tell me to come home, not to go further into the depths of panic I was experiencing. I paused, I pondered, I pee'd. And then I went to the dead tree and checked out the start up close and the reality began to hit me. I wasn't getting on the route. I was a quitter. Thousands had done this route. Harding walked this same stone in hard boots with ropes many of us would only use to tie a mattress to the roof of a car and yet, me, the cubicle puke with the latest, greatest gear, who knew it was safe, and had spent hours studying the topo to prepare for an EPIC 2 days of dumbed down vertical adventure could not even clip the first bolt of the ladder to the sky. In fact, I couldn't move. I was frozen in panic borne both of the route, and how to tell my partner that my up button was broken.
More than anything in climbing, I have been blessed with great partners. Partners who I enjoy being with, climbing with, sharing stories with, and going to the mat for so it was with an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and my head pounding that I confessed. We talked, we welcomed another party to the wall, we hung out for a bit but in the end, we lowered the bags off and hiked down. Worst. Feeling. Ever. But at the same time, the ultimate relief.
So that leaves me here. Sitting here at my desk, cleansing my soul, pouring it out to our little public secret insiders club in hopes that a) talking about it will let me understand it better and b) someone may shed some light. Climbing is a very personal pursuit. I'm not sure why I love it but the idea of that being the end is crushing to me. Since getting (it's been about 3 weeks), my feelings have run in every direction from sell everything and go ride your bike to go solo the prow so you can make sure your head is in the right place before you drag another human being into the abyss with you. Frankly, I don't want to stop. I am a rational thinker and thrive on stretching my comfort zone. I've done the physical and technical work that should allow me to realize my climbing goals. I'm also stubborn enough to want to figure out a way to make it work. I may be soft but I'm a lousy quitter.
I can't say coming down was the wrong choice because at that moment, there wasn't one. The drive home that afternoon was long and quiet. I didn't regret bailing but I did regret not trying because in my book, the only true failure comes from not even making an attempt.
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Mikemcee
Social climber
Mill Valley, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 10, 2014 - 02:50pm PT
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Unfortunately, that pretty much sums it up, Locker
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Jul 10, 2014 - 03:02pm PT
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Dunno, I've never been a wimp.....
KIDDING!!
Dude, almost everyone here with a scrap of honesty in their soul will admit to a similar experience. Most of us have been able to choke it down, and a couple pitches up discovered that our fears were mostly unfounded.
My apprenticeship was so complete that I was absolutely ready for bigger walls, even the bigger psychological step. Not only did I do tons of free climbs of different lengths, but I also did smaller aid climbs in Oregon 2,3,4,5 pitches before I even cast off on Washington Column in the 70's. Then I did a number of Grade V's before I cast off on the Captain. To me that was the way it was done, and the way to feel solid when the time came.
Don't mean to cast stones your way, but has your apprenticeship been complete enough? Some guys need more than others, while some can jump in more directly with both feet.
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Marlow
Sport climber
OSLO
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Jul 10, 2014 - 03:02pm PT
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Mcee
Brave story. I've heard something similar from a couple of climbers before. One of them suddenly "froze" during a climb, was not able to move up and had to be helped down. Losing control not knowing why, is not a feeling that is easy to handle as a climber.
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Jul 10, 2014 - 03:05pm PT
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My legs got heavier with every step, and suddenly, the urge to retreat was enveloping me like wet cement.
I like to think I can "yellow point" any climb, so those words resonate with me. I'll admit that I almost always have the hardest time getting up my first lead. Once I do that, it's straightforward. That said, I know too many stories of climbers (Jim Baldwin comes to mind) who got the chop going up when their gut told them otherwise.
I rather suspect the WFLT will still be there when you're ready to try again.
John
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Jul 10, 2014 - 04:03pm PT
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Wow....that's one of the most honest things i have read here...anywhere. If you're able to so honestly portray the events and put them out there on a public forum I think that you can overcome the feelings that caused you to turn around.
You were right to make the decision to go down....you were right NOT to have even tried. You sound very rational to me and your decision to tell your partner that you could not go on was not reached without a lot of soul searching. Don't punish yourself but resolve, since you clearly love climbing, to get back in the saddle.
Some ideas:
Do some nice, moderate multi pitch routes in beautiful settings with favorite partners.
Take a break from doing climbs that are on your cutting edge either physically or psychologically.
We all love the movement of rock climbing along with the beautiful places it takes us and the partnerships that develop but we also have a natural tendency to UP the ante and do harder and more committing climbs....take a break from that and do excursions in the "lark" category.
Freshness, both physical and psychological will return.
I climb a lot and i tend to push myself. A few weeks ago I was in a bit of a nadir and even found myself saying...."no, don't pull the rope, I'll clean it" on sport climbs.
I just returned from a two week trip that included some moderate climbing at the COR and hiking on the Olympic Penninsula. Today I went to the Pool Wall in Ouray and felt completely refreshed.
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Jingy
climber
Somewhere out there
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Jul 10, 2014 - 04:10pm PT
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Sounds like you need to learn to how to put it in a box to deal with a little better.
From what I read I conclude that you didn't really want to do the climb... you never wanted to start this climb... My evidence is the story of the OP.
If your focus is true and you really do want to make the attempt and climb anything... I feel you just will. A period of time will pass from here and you will not remember this failure with the same significance as a sting from a mosquito.
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Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
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Jul 10, 2014 - 04:16pm PT
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A virtual kick-in-the-sack to you. Have you considered Spin classes or TaeBo you poser?What's the matter, pulling v2++ at the gym not working out? Easiest wall in the universe. Ain't no participation medals in climbing. Were you raised with sisters?
( just in case a little degradation helps light your fuse.)
Maybe you're afraid that the victory sex will lead to more babies. Sensitive Marin Hot Tubbers! Sheesh! Wouldn't you be happier flying the "Mission Accomplished" and swinging your dong?
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mtnyoung
Trad climber
Twain Harte, California
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Jul 10, 2014 - 04:41pm PT
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Great post.
Brutal honesty.
I don't have any suggestions though - fear is a part of the game that makes it worth playing, and one we all deal with differently.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Jul 10, 2014 - 05:08pm PT
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The visceral urge to go down is natural.
When you're ready you will tell yourself the following, and it will ring so totally true:
The only way down is UP.
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Jingy
climber
Somewhere out there
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Jul 10, 2014 - 07:30pm PT
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Been thinking on this post for the day...
From a guy named Bukowski...
Hope it helps with the indecision...
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Q- Ball
Mountain climber
where the wind always blows
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Jul 10, 2014 - 09:37pm PT
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I lost my climbing nerve from 2002-2006. I lost some good friends and had some close calls in that time.
I have turned around on numerous climbs, others I fought my unknown fear.
My occupation today has me in what I believe is equally dangerous stuff (zero visibility freshwater/big river scuba)
What I have seen in the mountains keeps me confident and competent in the river.
Just don't kink my air hose, I get testy after that!
-Q-ball
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dave729
Trad climber
Western America
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Jul 10, 2014 - 10:16pm PT
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I 'knew' I was destined to be a climber
from all the falling dreams I had as a kid.
Being that scared seemed cool.
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phylp
Trad climber
Millbrae, CA
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Jul 10, 2014 - 11:07pm PT
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I appreciate your post because of the generosity of your honesty.
We have probably all experienced fear and panic in the course of our climbing lives. Well except maybe Werner.
What I challenge is the whole concept of naming what happened as "failure". Motivation, psyche and will can change with the wind. You lived to climb another day. Climbing is just a form of play. You'll be in the mood to play another time.
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Jul 10, 2014 - 11:12pm PT
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Phyl, yes.
I have absolutely no problem bailing, or expressing it to my partner.
Climbing's supposed to be fun. Being scared can be fun, but when it's not, stop, bail.
And actually, it could be some gut feeling, an intuition, a sixth sense at work.
Nice share, thanks.
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couchmaster
climber
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Jul 11, 2014 - 06:02am PT
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Love Donini's words of wisdom. I think we all have our moments. Like to see Hudon weigh in. One of his (very accomplished) partner's recently said something like this: "You know how the pull of the ground is always with you on a wall, pulling you back? With Hud around the pull comes from the top!" (paraphrasing, but it carries the soul of the comment)
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Jul 11, 2014 - 06:37am PT
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The hardest climb I never did was the North Face of Quarter Dome.
Eaten alive by killer skeeters, mossy deathslabs, where the hell is the route? That sucking noise is us. Sweating rivers on an east coast like humidity day. Tuck tail and head home. Never go back. End of story.
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Travis Haussener
Trad climber
Salt Lake City
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Jul 11, 2014 - 07:17am PT
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Awesome post, way to be honest, I think in every climbing, skiing, and running guide I've ever read there's always a small piece that says "if your gut says no then don't do it...it will be there another day." You made the right choice.
I once hiked up to Lone Peak here in the Wasatch (6 miles, 5000 vert) to do some silly 3 pitch route. Got so scared, I didn't care that I wasted all that time/energy lugging up gear, and turned right around. To this day I haven't been back there to climb.
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Mikemcee
Social climber
Mill Valley, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 11, 2014 - 07:58am PT
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Ahhh.....some great replies here.
I've lived long enough to realize the only way out of the hole is to be honest with myself. Either I'll figure it out or find some closure but there's no way I can lay in bed at night without trying to figure it out. Besides, this is only the interwebz....few here know me in real life anyway! After lurking in my own thread for a bit and reading the replies, some with more amusement than others, I really think my questions are more about how the switch just flips, and how others have dealt with it when it does.
Survival, the apprenticeship question is interesting. I really thought I had put my time in but in hindsight wasn't prepared for the commitment WFLT demanded. I wasn't really worried about climbing part. There's an isolation that comes with wall climbing and it may be the most discomforting aspect for me. Jingy's comment that I didn't want to climb it in the first place may have been spot on. I liked the idea of doing it, just not the reality. Bukowski's words really resonated.
As far as failure goes though, let me clarify. I don't think bailing is failing. I think not trying was where I drew the line and what bummed me out more than actually walking away.
The beauty of climbing comes from both the simplicity and complexity that it simultaneously presents. Sure, man up or the easiest way down are the easy answers but if that was all there was to it, it wouldn't be meaningful to us.
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Moof
Big Wall climber
Orygun
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Jul 11, 2014 - 01:51pm PT
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Wall psyche is a weird beast. All the bravado in the lead up to a trip, on the drive, and at the car all tend to melt away as you approach the base. It is hard to tell in advance if getting to the base will amp you up, or shut you down.
The rock doesn't give one little turd about you.
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Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
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Jul 11, 2014 - 02:13pm PT
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Mike,
Don't dismiss the parents instinct to survive. Sometimes good sense trumps ambition. Is it possible that you are well-adjusted? Because that can mess with your climbing head for sure.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Jul 11, 2014 - 02:50pm PT
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That Bukowski video is fecking priceless!!!
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Jul 11, 2014 - 03:56pm PT
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Frankly, I don't want to stop. I am a rational thinker and thrive on stretching my comfort zone. I've done the physical and technical work that should allow me to realize my climbing goals.
Best post on the Taco. Seriously. It so resonated with me, particularly that I get from you that climbing is much more than just "having fun." There is an intentional "discipline" element to it for you, and that aspect of it transcends this or that particular experience.
You have really poignantly seen and expressed the stark contrast between the comfort zone of everyday life and "the void," as I think of it. That comfort zone of the familiar and normal can, of course, be shattered in a second. But most people spend most of their lives pretending that "all is well" in the comfort zone. True climbers intentionally embrace the void and seek to "know thyself" by probing it! What you experienced is HOW stark the clear, bright line really is between the "safe" and "known," on one hand, and the void on the other.
One step, just step up into the aiders... that's all it takes to cross the line. And that one step is the essence of the whole climb. Indeed, it is the essence of climbing!
In this case, you felt ALL the weight of that one step, and you stepped back. It's happened to ALL of us that take climbing seriously. And for ALL of us that have continued on with climbing, we have intentionally processed what that one step means, and we have determined to confront it again. You will too. That is what makes us CLIMBERS rather than "normal people" or just gymnasts. And CLIMBERS confront it repeatedly and even seek that confrontation.
Thank you SO much for sharing the depths of your experience, and in such a gripping and humorous way! Your bit about your wife's dastardly betrayal is just classic! Well done, sir.
I wish you courage and another go at that "one step" sometime in the near future. Here's cheering you on!
--Richard
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Bushman
Social climber
Elk Grove, CA
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Jul 11, 2014 - 04:08pm PT
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Loved that route back in '81. So much fun we did it twice inside a month. Rusty 3/16ths bolts and all. One popped at the belay and I dropped a foot. I got my first gray hair that day. Bet all the bolts are solid these days. Backed off a couple walls myself and still kicking myself for one I bailed off from the half way point, the other I knew I had no business on in the frame of mind I was in.
You'll be loving your bat poop smellin' bivy in no time!
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Ropeboy
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Jul 11, 2014 - 05:05pm PT
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I can see you love climbing. Why not get some more miles under your belt with a bunch of mixed free and aid one day climbs? Then do several easy Grade V climbs to get used to the "stuck on the wall" commitment. It might take you another full season or more to find your magic but as someone else said, the rocks will still be there when you are ready. You don't even have to return to the Leaning Tower, ever. There's lots of great stuff to climb, and adventure is guaranteed. I wish you the best on your journey.
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Wade Icey
Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
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Jul 11, 2014 - 06:20pm PT
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Is it possible that you are well-adjusted? Because that can mess with your climbing head for sure.
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Mikemcee
Social climber
Mill Valley, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 11, 2014 - 09:44pm PT
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I'm not sure about well adjusted but I am house broken.
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Jay Wood
Trad climber
Land of God-less fools
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Jul 12, 2014 - 07:42am PT
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I think you would feel better if you had gone up a few bolts,
and left a ritual offering to the booty-verse.
The sting of leaving gear can stand in for the larger pain of retreating.
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Jul 12, 2014 - 08:13am PT
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I did a winter solo of the Leaning Tower, and getting across that traverse with my haul bag was the scariest part of the entire climb.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Jul 12, 2014 - 08:16am PT
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+1 for the descent being the crux!
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Jul 12, 2014 - 08:20am PT
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Getting to the summit is optional.
Getting back down is obligatory.
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Jul 12, 2014 - 08:21am PT
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I've done the "walk of shame" a few times.. whatever!
it's all about stay'n alive..
West face was my second rope solo.. was scared the entire time.
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coppolillo
Trad climber
boulder, co
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Jul 21, 2014 - 10:19am PT
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Here's the thing about the OP...the guy is a 64-carat all-time BALLER. I've known Mike for 20ish years...but never tied in with him. Didn't even know he was a climber until a few years back...I knew him in the bike racing days. And back then, there weren't many faster. And he was clean. Dude.
Great writing and even better self-study. "He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is awakened."--Lao Tzu.
Sorry, couldn't resist, I'm from Boulder, it just comes out. I'll focus on your intent/honesty/ballerificness during my restorative yoga session tonight, Mike!
Seriously...digest it and take the good words provided by the crew here...bunch of good stuff, by the sound of it.
Lemme know when you go back up there...love to check out a wall with you someday, bruddaman.
RC
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bluegreyguy
climber
sf, ca
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Jul 21, 2014 - 01:29pm PT
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mike check one-two! love the post brotherman - missed this the first time around but loved it. we need to go back to the zodiac again!
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BBA
climber
OF
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Jul 21, 2014 - 01:40pm PT
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The problem is that now you have to add WFLT to your list of "vendetta climbs", climbs on which you failed for reasons other than the body failing (the body knows no shame). I am 73 and can recite the three vendetta climbs I have from the 60's. Not much chance I'll get up them now. Damn!
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thebravecowboy
climber
in the face of the fury of the funk
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Jul 21, 2014 - 06:36pm PT
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Michelle
Social climber
1187 Hunterwasser
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Jul 21, 2014 - 07:00pm PT
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HTFU...? just kidding! What you describe is basically how I experience climbing these days. I've been on hiatus for a few years and I'm relearning how to deal with anxiety.
Brandon-
We are gunna die!!!!!!!
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Jul 22, 2014 - 07:10am PT
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A really great post that caught my eye when it first came out, but I saved reading and replying to it until I had enough time to give it proper thought. First Mike, thanks for sharing. Courageous of you to share your pussy-dom with the entire world. We've all done it at one time or another, and this was or is your time.
You wrote that you guys climbed South Face of the Column together only a few weeks previously. What happened between then and the Tower? Because if you could climb the Column, you could certainly climb the Tower.
I will point out in fairness that the traverse to the beginning of the route is pretty epic. It is quite exposed, far from trivial, nominally only fourth class, but quite hard and scary when humping a pig. Plus you end up on a ledge four hundred feet above the ground before you even start the technical clinbing! So it's an intimidating situation just to get started.
But before I start offering any advice, I need you to answer a couple questions, the first one being posed above, what happened between the Column and the Tower? Two successful guys, suddenly their bollocks shrivel up. Why?
Secondly, do you really REALLY want to keep climbing? How badly do you WANT this route?
Answer those two questions, and we'll talk.
Cheers, eh?
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Mikemcee
Social climber
Mill Valley, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 23, 2014 - 11:13am PT
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Alright Pete, since I've spent a fair amount of time reading stuff you've written as well as the better part of an afternoons amusement watching you climb about 30 feet of that Continental Drift puckerfest, I'm game to pull my pants down again.
The Column was actually plan B for us. We had originally planned to do WFLT as our first outing but figured we'd take a path of less resistance to get to know each other a little better. Plus, like I said in the OP, I find Leaning tower to be one of the more intimidating pieces of rock in the Valley. The answer is nothing changed, we were ready, psyched, and there! Keeping in mind that there really is no answer, let alone "right" answer, I figured it was worth asking....How does it go bad so fast? How does rational thought process get completely run over by the irrational?
As for the second question, even before I started climbing, as a kid growing up in NYC, I thought climbing el cap was the sickest adventure anyone could ever have. Sleeping on a wall? PSYCHO! But for some reason, I really wanted to do it. I still have that dream but I believe in process and I think that WFLT is a really important MTFU step for me. I want to climb the rock across the Valley and believe that getting up Leaning Tower will improve my prospects for a successful ascent. Your question of whether or not I really want to keep climbing is great. I do but I HATE letting people down...the feeling of compromising someone elses adventure scares me more than anything which means that as a matter of process, I first need to be reasonably sure that the next time I hike that traverse (or any other), that I am prepared to do battle with the demons and head up rather than down.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jul 23, 2014 - 11:27am PT
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Pretty much the zack same thing got me off the Steck-Salathe in the '70s and I never did satisfy that nagging self-doubt by doing the route.
Myles Moser has offered to take me up the climb, but I'm past it now and am resigned to living without that jewel in my lotus.
You going back up?
Yer gunna...
...I'm sure of it.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Jul 23, 2014 - 02:51pm PT
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Mike
Great thread
I always remember the Doug Robinson treatise on clean climbing in
the Chouinard Catalog--
"Besides leaving alone what one cannot climb in good style, there
are some practical corollaries of boldness in free climbing. Learning to
climb down is valuable for retreating from a clean and bold place that
gets too airy. And having the humility to back off rather than continue
in bad style - - a thing well begun is not lost. The experience cannot
be taken away. By such a system there can never again be 'last great problems' but only 'next great problems.'"
When you're ready to go back up, you will, and you'll do it in style too.
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overwatch
climber
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Jul 23, 2014 - 03:11pm PT
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Isn't that route notoriously difficult to bail from once started? Maybe it was as simple as that. Nice write up
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Jul 23, 2014 - 05:12pm PT
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Mike,
Please do knott misunderstand me when you read the words I write below, but someone needs to say them to you. Please know that I speak these words out of love, respect and concern for you, and I want nothing more for you to succeed in climbing a big wall. I have helped countless people in both big and small ways succeed in their goal of climbing El Capitan. I am, after all, a Wall Doctor.
First of all, Mike - will you please answer the fukkin' question that you have seeminly avoided:
"Do you want to climb this mutherf*#k, or knott?!"
And I feel I have to ask a second question of you:
"Are you a pussy, or not?"
Please be truthful! And yes, I am intentionally trying to capture your attention. Quit beating around the damn bush, and tell us. You came here, you asked, you have balls to bear your heart.
But do you have enough balls to climb a big wall, that is scary and intimidating, but not really that hard??
Love,
Pete
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Mikemcee
Social climber
Mill Valley, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 24, 2014 - 08:49am PT
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Whoa, whoa Petey, you're going all Law and Order on me now.
Yes, I want to climb it however...my motive for getting on it was more based on it being what I saw as part of the process of climbing the captain and my obsession with facing my fears. Not sure if the caveat changes things but it certainly may have.
As far as being a pussy? I am not. And I gave it a lot of thought because, you know, thats kind of an important question.
Maybe it's as simple as the point Overwatch brings up which is also troubling. If the reason I walked away was because it's a hard wall to bail from...oh man, thats a bad can of worms.
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overwatch
climber
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Jul 24, 2014 - 09:14am PT
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To clarify my point, sh#t happens no matter how "easy" something is. Maybe your intuition was telling you something. I would chalk it up to that and just try it again. Maybe keep a stick clip in the bag, for bailing only, just for some mental reassurance?
Check out Andy Kirkpatrick blog for advice on withdrawing (not retreating) from overhanging walls. Some good stuff there. Being confident you can get down from anywhere on the wall will give you the confidence to press on.
I am sure I will be flamed for suggesting a stick clip but it is just a thought. You wouldn't be the first to carry one.
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