TR: My visit to the Canoe


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I'm so over it
Topic Author's Original Post - Aug 14, 2006 - 12:29am PT
What I Did For My Summer Vacation

For my summer vacation I visited the Canoe. It was really fun. I have wanted to visit the Canoe for a long time so it was fun to finally visit it. Also interesting. It was also a little scary to visit the Canoe. If asked whether I would visit the Canoe or not again next summer I think the answer would be no I would not visit the Canoe again. Because it was scary like that.

Myth has it that way, way up on the Shield Headwall of El Cap there’s a monster flake mysteriously pasted on a blank wall. My homeboy Geoff and I decided to cruise on up there, see if this thing really exists or what. Maybe a real block of rock up there, shaped like a canoe, or maybe just legend like a granite Yeti, or a Samsquamch. It was truly an expedition into the unknown, a dark place on the map. Fair chance one of us wasn’t coming back. But I’ll tell you this: if we happened to find a real block of rock up there, and it happened to be actually shaped like a canoe, well then I planned on hopping on that bad boy and riding it like a pony.

My matey Geoff.

Geoff is from Australia. Australians are basically Americans that swear a lot more and break out this killer accent to pick up sheilas. He works in a tin mine so he can haul like a gorilla on PCP. He does not take PCP as far as I know. The mine he works in is in NE Oz near Cairns, which is pronounced Cans, sort of like the Cannes Film Festival, except Cannes is actually pronounced Can. Geoff is dating a girl whose father is an anesthesiologist. Probably be good for some cash when he kicks off. Geoff is certain that if he proposes to said winsome lass, her dad will immediately propose a celebratory toast after which Geoff will end up immediately and celebratorily and untraceably dead. None of this, while all true, is particularly relevant.

To get to the Canoe you have to climb this route called Flight of the Albatross. (FA: John Middendorf, Will Oxx & Jessica Alba, 1993.) The Supertaco says to avoid the first few pitches of the Albatross, because they are grassy and crappy. So we did. I do everything the Taco tells me to do. From Mammoth Terrace we climbed the first four pitches of Magic Mushroom. They were grassy and crappy.

At Cast Away Mateys Pinnacle (arrrrr!) we finally got onto the Albatross proper. Geoff on the A2:

And up the cool 8th pitch.

Topo calls it C1 or likely 5.10 and yeah, it’s like a Pancake Flake sort of a deal. Geoff got so psyched he liebacked the thing in his boots to the anchor. That’s actually not true. But the pitch was so beautiful I followed it clean on toprope. (Not true either.)

Friggin' kids these days.

To Whipper Will, that is the question. Don’t really recall it being that much fun, but there ya go.

The hunt for the Canoe continues. P10, another cool nailing pitch:

Say what you want about the Albatross (and it does have some blank on it) but I thought the climbing was pretty classic. Plenty of long, clean splitters.

I sure hope it's not too late to catch the pirate bandwagon.

That's Middle Cathedral Rock in the background, BTW. Supertaco's own Roger Breedlove put up some bold free routes on that thing back in the day. (With Jules Eichorn.)

Honestly, this Canoe thing was really starting to feel like a legend. By the fourth day we were well up the headwall and had seen no teetering mystery. This is the eleventh belay, only 100 feet below the Canoe. Where is this thing!?

Ta-da! The Canoe!

Not totally like riding a pony, but a good seat regardless. I mean, come on, it’s a ledge. What were you expecting?

My mom always used to tell me, “Expectation is the mother of disappointment.” First, it makes you really think it through when your own mom uses the phrase “mother of disappointment.” But second, she’s right. You ever get so obsessed about something that when it finally happens, you find you could take it or leave it? And not only that, but there’s a million details you overlooked along the way. Well, I’m not saying I was disappointed in the Canoe, but sitting I did realize there was another hardish pitch above I hadn’t been getting psyched up for. And whoa was it a ball breaker. It was a full-on puckerfest, with crap heads and beaks above the ledge. In fact, in the interest of full disclosure, it was somewhere on this pitch that the phrase “Fuсk you, John Middendorf” was heard.

Gunning for the bolt 30' up. I was scared, kids. After a couple rivets the pitch sported five or so fixed heads that were of OK quality, and then the beaking started. And by beaking I mean beak tips. You may be wondering what I mean by beak tips. I mean beaks that are this far in:

Maybe one more shot to show off a little more.

I've been telling everybody I know, and already posted it nearly everywhere, but here goes once more: I have a pretty big problem with the Canoe pitch being called ST A3(no R). There is sizeable deck potential from 30’ and potential to rip big from many other places on the pitch. Whipper Will felt right on at A3+ (with two distinct cruxes as marked on the ST) and the Canoe was beyond that. To me it felt harder than any pitch currently on ZM. I’m trying not to whine too much so I’ll say this: I don’t care what that pitch is graded but it is in DFU territory and you better know what you’re doing with a beak.

And that was basically it. We were off onto the Shield, and in another day we were off.

Random Beta and Trivia

1. We hauled two bags including 64 liters of water up the Heart Slabs 1:1 on a Mini-Traxion.

2. Rivets, though rusty, seemed very solid.

3. We had the SW face of the Cap all to ourselves.

4. They have some weird candy in Oz. Geoff brought some Chicos over. Ever had Chicos? Here’s the bag:

I felt a bit awkward eating them but they were sure choclatey delicious!

5. Got tooled twice during the trip (for OB camping and speeding in Tuolumne) but got off clean each time due to my charm, handsome dirtbaggish looks, and the shiv secreted in my sock. Rangers are people too!

6. Speaking of people and otherwise, I drove home along U.S. 6 aka the Extraterrestrial Highway™ past Area 51. I know what happens inside that compound because I played through Half Life four times. Outside beautiful Rachel, Nev. (ET Highway Rule #1: Whatever you do, do NOT stop the car) I happened upon a Chrysler minivan on the shoulder, shimmering in the classic distress pose—hood up. Which was funny, since the problem was a flat tire. And it was also funny that I violated Rule #1 to be a Samaritan, since I know nothing about automobiles and the gremlins that make them go fast and honk and stuff. But I stopped and tried to help this grandpa get the spare tire out from under the damn minivan. Grandma and what seemed to be two grandkids watched and fretted. The minivan had a hieroglyphic instructional panel indicating some mechanism that winched the tire up under the van, with swirling arrows to RAISE or LOWER and it was funny how little sense it made. Me and granddad, though, working together at full capacity, made slow but steady progress.

I was under the minivan pounding on something critical-looking with a rock when it came out that I was on my way back from “camping” in Yosemite. (Unless you have a spare forty minutes to explain “rock climbering,” just say camping.)

Grandma clutched at her throat and said, “Oh! Yosemite! My isn’t it gorgeous there.”

One of the kids wondered what Yosemite was. Underneath, I broke something.

“Yosemite is a beautiful mountain in Mon—up in Warsh—is it in Wyoming?”

And this was when I realized, still under their UFO, that these people were not from my planet. I crawled out and stood up and looked at their slimy faces. Gauged the distance back to my truck. Should I sprint for that and try to crank her up, or just run into the desert? What sort of aliens were these? Could they warp over and keep me from my truck? Explode it with death rays? Explode me? I had a lug wrench in my hands, that was my only advantage. Maybe these green bastards would waste enough time zipping out of their human suits that I could--

Two cars in the distance. We all watched them approach. It took about an hour and a half, you know how long and straight those roads are. They were two sedans as plain and white as Ford can make them, government plates. Two guys in jeans and black T-shirts stepped out of the first one, in unison. Two guys in green fatigues stepped out of the second, muscley under there for sure, flattops, mirror-shined combat boots. All four in impenetrable black shades.

There was a big silence so I said, “You guys out hunting aliens or what?”

Bigger silence. They stood on their side of the road, and we stood on ours. Cars ticked. The aliens shuffled around a little nervous.

One of the black T-shirt guys said, “Thought maybe you needed some help.”

And the grandma alien took in a breath like she might answer, or might explode his brain, or maybe mine, but I never heard what she said—or did—because I was slamming my truck door and cranking the key and gunning that POS up the long grade out of Rachel, Nev.

All true.

7. Earlier on that drive, on an empty highway, I noticed a little something in the corner of my eye, passing me on the left:

Twenty minutes later they came back the other way. Lost is what they were.

8. You may want more than 10 beaks. I took the 10 listed, lowered off twice (from each bolt) to back clean and got to the belay with a couple left. Not sure what that adds up to. Maybe somebody annoying could cook up a formula: B = (ST + 2BC)^SE, where SE, meaning snail eye, in this particular equation equals, say, ∞. Solving this equation will get you up the Jessica Albatross, and I hope it may solve the world’s energy crisis as well.

9. Curious how we got down off the route? We friggin’ walked, man.

Appendix: Australian/English Dictionary

Budgie smuggler = Speedo

Chockers = full, as in: “I’m bloody chockers, mate. Too many chocolate aborigines.”

Dodgy = jingus, hairball, manky, with teeth, sketch, etc. A great aid word.

Fuсk-all = little or none, as in: “How much rope left?” “Fuсk-all!” “Huh? A lot?” “No! Fuсk-all left!” “What?” “NONE!”

Lollies = candy, excluding chocolate.

Nugs = boobs.

Shits you = annoys you or pisses you off. Again, an extremely useful phrase whilst big walling.

Winter = June-August. Don’t ask, I don’t know what’s going on there.

Wombat = some freakish Oz creature, I guess. Think a gerbil the size of an ox with bunny ears and a scorpion tale with venom strong enough to kill 187 men.

So there you have it. We climbed intrepidly into the unknown with courage and cunning and maybe even what you might call panache. We also ate some Vienna sausages. And if you’re still reading, there’s something wrong with you.

(Thanks Deuce, Mr. Oxx and of course Jess for a very cool route.)
More Air

Big Wall climber
Aug 14, 2006 - 01:28am PT
Thanks for the great trip report! So is the Canoe wide enough to lay down on?

Trad climber
one pass away from the big ditch
Aug 14, 2006 - 02:35am PT
There's still time to leave the country man.


I read ALL of it. Way dodgy post though, I thought there were going to be pics of nugs.

Aug 14, 2006 - 08:46am PT
Yo - I think the quote you Mom was looking for was "Expectation is a Motherfvcking disapointment!" BTW how was climbing with a partner who would lead? Must be nice on occasion.
goatboy smellz

up a peak without a paddle
Aug 14, 2006 - 09:03am PT
"Where is this thing!?"


Social climber
Queensland, NorCal, Iceland
Aug 14, 2006 - 09:19am PT
Awesome trip report!

Big Wall climber
the Southwest
Aug 14, 2006 - 09:49am PT
First of all, who is this Jessica? Jessica, jessica, hmmmm? Where for art thou, Jessica? Can't say I remember doing the FA with anyone but Will. Maybe he had her stashed in the haulbag...

Nice TR, "the hunt for the Canoe". I had the same desire when we climbed it. I had soloed the Shield previously, and there was an old rope stuck on the Canoe, and it would flap around the triple cracks on the Shield. I cut off a piece of it then. When we got to the Canoe proper, it was all jammed in there. Took a while to clean out. Not sure where it came from originally.

By the way, I called it, unimaginatively, the "boat", but after seeing Sutton after the ascent, he said, "what, that's a canoe if I ever saw one, eh?"

I think someday the Canoe will fall off the big stone. The ledge it sits on is quite sloping, and it is completely detached from it.

ps, thanks for the kind words while you were leading the pitch above the Canoe, eh?, too!

Trad climber
Aug 14, 2006 - 10:02am PT
We were pre-hauling to heart ledges last Sunday when you guys were up there. All I could think was Im getting ready to get scared shitless on one of the most moderate routes on here (triple D)and thess jackasses sound like they're actually having fun up there above us on some route left of the Shield....It was really amazing to have that side to ourselves after you guys got off and we launched on Monday...full moons, perfect weather, no crowds.
Roger Breedlove

Trad climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Aug 14, 2006 - 11:18am PT
Hey Ryan. An instant classic. Very nice writing.

Looks like you are making good progress on the ADD/paranoiac/Jessica delusional thing. But, just in case, I am glad you got away—that thing you broke under the space ship was the Cataclysmic Attenuating Necromaniacal Osseocarnisanguineoviscericartilaginonervomedullar Euthanasia launcher.

(I don’t see the pictures on my work computer—my company’s attempt to make me more productive—Ha. How little they know about my easy distractibility.)

Best, Buzz

Big Wall climber
the Southwest
Aug 14, 2006 - 11:51am PT
p.s. Sure did enjoy seeing the creative sticker modification on your helmet, too!

East Coast US
Aug 14, 2006 - 11:53am PT
Great trip report!

climber a single wide......
Aug 14, 2006 - 11:57am PT
yea yo- awesome TR

does anybody have a pic of the canoe from afar? i'd like to see what a boat plastered on el cap looks like

Ice climber
Ashland, Or
Aug 14, 2006 - 12:03pm PT

nice TR and Scend!

Social climber
The West
Aug 14, 2006 - 12:18pm PT
Nice! Thanks
I had to go back to look at the helmet, nice work on that, too!

"Why is drinking your (american) beer like making love in a canoe?"

"It's f*#king close to water!"

-Eric Idle, possing as a 'stralian.
Dingus Milktoast

Aug 14, 2006 - 12:27pm PT
Yo, Yo?

Awesome dude!

Jonny D

Social climber
Lost Angelez, Kalifornia
Aug 14, 2006 - 12:34pm PT
Arrrh! my belley tis' aching. fun post!

Gym climber
Otto, NC
Aug 14, 2006 - 12:36pm PT
Nice TR, yo! I love your writing. please go visit some more cool features so we can read about the trip. Snoopy? Ice Station Zero?

I'm so over it
Topic Author's Reply - Aug 14, 2006 - 02:20pm PT
Hey, boys. Thanks.

Sewellymon, got home and started brewing up a sprayfest and realized...I got no pics of the Canoe! If anybody's got a good shot of the Shield Headwall, post her up please. The Canoe really is up there in the middle of nowhere.

Deucey, yeah, the Canoe will probably trundle someday, but it's on there better than I expected. I have no idea why it is there, geologically speaking, but it's got that little perch at least. I think Boot Flake goes first.

Is that rivet higher on the Canoe pitch original? That stretch between the bolt and rivet was unreal, one move in particular where I kept scraping a beak down the seam looking for it to catch on something, then giving her a tap. Yipe!

Again, I highly recommend the route. It's spectacular and made out of the highest quality stone the Cap can offer.

I'm so over it
Topic Author's Reply - Aug 14, 2006 - 02:27pm PT
Oh, forgot one last beta tip: P11 used a green camalot as noted, but that is not the only cam. Toward the anchor the pitch took 4-5 alien-sized cams. So .75 camalot, blades and LAs, and a handful of cams less than 1".

No reason to belay on CA Pinnacle. From Grey Ledges to 7 is around 180'.

Brian, the Canoe is shoulder width and pretty flat.

PS: Kartch, when are you coming down here, you little schoolgirl?

Trad climber
Gunks end of country
Aug 14, 2006 - 02:40pm PT
Nice TR!

Sitting on the canoe without a paddle.

Probably why it didn't go anywhere.

Aug 14, 2006 - 02:48pm PT
Yo - I'll be there Sept 8-11, Lowe Route on Angels? Scott and I just did El Grande Teton sat (which BTW you should never Google) it was sweet.

And it's school-man YO, SCHOOL-MAN!


Ice climber
Ashland, Or
Aug 14, 2006 - 03:12pm PT

yo you should post your beta on the Route Beta page...yo yo


oooh, ooohhh
Bart Fay

Social climber
Redlands, CA
Aug 14, 2006 - 04:36pm PT
Big Wall Home Girl Jessica Alba

Funny stuff.
Might be the first time I actually laughed out loud on ST.
Could just be the medication though.

Big Wall climber
the Southwest
Aug 14, 2006 - 07:41pm PT
Oh of course! THAT Jessica. 'Course she was up there on the FA.

Sure was a sweetie. Hauled them bags like all get out too.
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Aug 15, 2006 - 12:17am PT
Fair Dinkim or whatever

Great trip report, much enjoyed

Oxx said it's only the "Flight" of the Albatross if you use his descent route. Otherwise it's just the Albatross.

Probably extra points if you ride the canoe down.



Aug 15, 2006 - 01:12am PT
Thanks for the TR.

My friend Dan and I climbed it in '01.

Flyin' Brian, Hans, and some girl (whose name escapes me: Jessica Alba maybe?) passed us at the canoe. I led that pitch the next morning. I remember that I did have to work at making myself believe that I wouldn't deck if something popped.

Karl said that,
"Oxx said it's only the "Flight" of the Albatross if you use his descent route. Otherwise it's just the Albatross.

Probably extra points if you ride the canoe down."

And super-extra-bonus points if you ride Jessica Alba while riding the canoe down . . .

. . .and pulling your rip cords just before the canoe sinks into the mediterraneo.

Trad climber
Chicago, IL
Aug 15, 2006 - 10:35am PT
freekin great trip report!


Trad climber
Aug 15, 2006 - 10:56am PT
Thanks for the great TR and pics,

the Hooterville World-Guardian
Aug 15, 2006 - 11:00am PT
LOL. * classic.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
Aug 18, 2006 - 11:38pm PT
Oi, mite! Ripping yarn, that!

[And like, only a Merrican would call a canoe a "boat", eh? Good thing you had a Hoser to name the thing for you]

Social climber
kennewick, wa
Aug 19, 2006 - 12:12am PT
Great TR Yo, thanks for sharing.

Deuce, didnt you mean to say that Jessica could really hump some loads? Because I am pretty sure that if she were humpin sumtin else, well, I know I'd remember that...

Big Wall climber
the Southwest
Aug 20, 2006 - 03:45pm PT
Most likely there were some dreams of a Jessica humping some of my loads...
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Aug 20, 2006 - 04:45pm PT
A very nice report!

Definition of Canadian: Someone who knows how to make love in a canoe. Something that Steve S., and PTPP, forgot to mention.


Penn's Woods
Aug 20, 2006 - 05:19pm PT
Duplicate joke deleted, but still funny.

This is a great TR, made my day. Damn, you guys live in paradise.
handsome B

Gym climber
Saskatoon, Saskatchawan
Aug 21, 2006 - 11:53am PT
Great T.R.

Funny and informative, kinda like the Daily Show.

Sport climber
Buzzard Point, TN
Aug 25, 2006 - 01:30pm PT
Glad I didn't miss this in the ST ether...yo, great stuff

Grab one of these for your next trip across NV...

Social climber
Hercules, CA
Aug 25, 2006 - 04:37pm PT
Holy $#!t, that was funny!

Great TR man.


Trad climber
So Cal
Aug 27, 2006 - 02:59pm PT
Outstanding! Tiny beak tips, too. Should had Alba lead that one...

s. o.

Trad climber
the desert
Aug 29, 2006 - 01:37am PT
Nice shorts yo. I like the helmet. Did your mother give you that sticker too, or is that from your shift at work.

Aug 29, 2006 - 10:12am PT
A brilliant bit of craftsmanship there, yo. Funny stuff! We really enjoyed it.

I can't decide whether you're a better writer or looks like you've got a firm grip on both. Keep up the super work on both fronts!


Trad climber
Las Vegas
Aug 29, 2006 - 11:36am PT
Greetings Yo,
Nice job. I had fun watching you from the meadow. You guys zipped up the stone. I wish my trip had been as fruitful as yours.

The Eye of the Snail
Topic Author's Reply - Aug 29, 2006 - 01:50pm PT
Hey Mike, thanks mate. Being a good writer makes up for being a crappy climber, but not vice versa! Your Muir Pup TR is one of my alltime faves. Cheers.

Tex, are you Carston? (sp?) What happened with Eagles Way? Let's do some Zion this winter.


right here, right now
Aug 29, 2006 - 10:42pm PT
Right on target Pilgr'm.
Way to nail the 'ole TR.
Bump fer those who ain't seen the good werks.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Aug 30, 2006 - 12:25am PT
I would have read this a lot sooner if it had been entitled;

Jessica Alba Tossed By Ryan Frost

You can actually see the direct line to the Shield roof in the second photo.
Someone should stash a photo-op paddle up there behind the canoe.
goatboy smellz

boulder county
Jan 28, 2007 - 05:23pm PT
john hansen told me to bump this due to all the bulls#it lately.


Trad climber
Jan 28, 2007 - 05:46pm PT
Great pictures but I thought this thread was about a canoe trip. Oh well, I did 2000 miles or there about on the Mississippi in a canoe years ago. I'm still recovering: nightmares about tow boats, they never go away.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
Jan 28, 2007 - 08:58pm PT
A worthy bump.

Tom and I actually ended up on two pitches of Albatross last fall, thanks to his brilliant route-finding [and an even more brilliant McTopo for Magic Mushroom]. We climbed straight up above the pinnacle, along the two stellar cracks, then I worked left to Mushroom proper.

Tom led the bit straight off the pinnacle, and it seemed more like stiff A3 than A2 to me when I cleaned it.... but stellar cracks above, eh?

Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jan 28, 2007 - 09:11pm PT
And here's a picture of the sort of canoe Steve S may have been referring to:

Your basic northwest coast canoe, perhaps from Haida Gwaii or some such. All the museums around here have one. There's a lovely one, carved from jade, in the foyer at Vancouver airport.

Social climber
No Ut
Jan 28, 2007 - 09:33pm PT
Glad this TR was bumped. Pure entertainment!


Social climber
St. Looney
Jul 11, 2007 - 11:52pm PT
This one just keeps coming back - super fun read!

East of Seattle
Jul 12, 2007 - 01:15am PT
Thanks for the bump Crimpie. Can't believe I missed this the first times around.

Great TR Yo!


Trad climber
One Place or Another
Feb 25, 2009 - 02:11am PT
The apple falls not far from the tree bump

Trad climber
Feb 25, 2009 - 11:11am PT
a Bump in honor of Bump a Cool Thread day...

the Moon and Antarctica
Feb 25, 2009 - 01:57pm PT
Whenever I see the word bump, I think of this thread.

Feb 25, 2009 - 09:54pm PT
me too, bump
Russ Walling

Social climber
Upper Fupa, North Dakota
Feb 25, 2009 - 10:34pm PT

oh... did this just bump it?

Cardiff by the sea
Feb 25, 2009 - 11:12pm PT
Cool report I missed this one first time around. Stoked it came around again.
Lynne Leichtfuss

Social climber
valley center, ca
Feb 25, 2009 - 11:50pm PT
So, Thread meisters have reported true. Yo Is one of the best writers and spinners of history, along with fun, fables, and the complex and beautiful fabric of people and rock that make up this wild and wonderful world called climbing.

Cheers to you yo ! Salute' ! lrl


Old Pueblo, AZ
Feb 25, 2009 - 11:58pm PT
I laughed, I cried, I...
Mainly I laughed my ass off!

Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
Feb 26, 2009 - 01:30am PT
Thanks for bumping this into my semi-consciousness. Most Excellent!
Don't get me started on 'Area 51'. Since I'm not a hijacker I won't say a word unless I am encouraged to start another topic.
FYI those C-17's were cooking your guts with side-scanning radar.

Trad climber
CA Central Coast
Feb 26, 2009 - 09:35pm PT
great TR!

Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
Feb 26, 2009 - 09:56pm PT
Thanks for the bump, great tr, psyches me to go climb, and I'm still chuckling.

Tacoma, Toyota
Mar 30, 2009 - 12:31am PT
BUMP for one of the funniest TRs out there.
mark miller

Social climber
Mar 30, 2009 - 12:57am PT
Great Tr Yo... But have you noticed that after a few pints that subdued Aussie dialect is sheer gibberish to us slow talkin' yanks...They talk so f''''bloody fast....No wuckin furies mate and all that shite and it has always left me feeling a bit bewildered.....Bloody Hell. The last fight I was in that I was definitely Knott going to come out on top was with an Aussie mate from Perth. We were shootin some stick and swillin a bit at a local Reno Pub when some Prick came over and started messin' with our sticks while we were trying to shot(Pool)..... We told him to "Bugger Off", well he was the quarter back of the UNR football team and most of his offense was there. The friggin Aussie didn't have the sense to back off and after a few punches (fortunately) the bouncers broke up the whole thing and gave us an option of leaving or continuing the brawl(11 to 2), ( we might be good but Knott immortal) I had to drag that friggin aussie out of there.
Gawd I love those crazy beer drinking Bastards......

Social climber
Across Town From Easy Street
Apr 16, 2010 - 04:06am PT
time for some fun bump
Mighty Hiker

Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 4, 2010 - 12:27am PT
Did yo or deucey ever see or comment on the Haida canoe photo posted upthread, and its resemblance (or not) to The Canoe?

Hobart, Australia
Jul 4, 2010 - 07:38am PT
We were going to unimaginatively name it "the Boat", but we ran into Steve Sutton in the parking lot upon our return to the ground, and the faithful Canadian said, "that's not a boat, that's a canoe!"

Big Wall climber
Las Vegas, Nv
Jul 4, 2010 - 12:03pm PT
getting back in the stirrups again... have a few new ones scooped in Zion... how is the schedule looking for the fall? Lets go beakin... and where the hell is that spray lord Nate at? :) inside joke hope he gets it.

Kurt "Burt" Arend

Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
Jul 4, 2010 - 01:06pm PT
very sweet TR. I can't believe I missed this one.

Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
Jul 4, 2010 - 01:15pm PT
Whoa-what a classic!

Social climber
Paradise Island
Jul 4, 2010 - 02:09pm PT
A most EXCELLENT TR with LOTS of sweet goodies scattered all over the route.

Still no pix of the Canoe from afar?


Big Wall climber
Yosemite, CA
Jul 4, 2010 - 04:13pm PT
I love this trip report. Thanks guys.
Mighty Hiker

Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 5, 2010 - 12:23am PT
Well, I guess we'll have to round up Steve S and find out what he knew and when he knew it. I think he moved from Vancouver sometime in the later 1970s or early 1980s, although he perhaps sometimes came back for visits. Aboriginal/first peoples things, including things like Haida canoes with their distinctive prows, became much more visible in the 1980s, maybe with Expo 86. That was probably after Steve moved, but maybe he was exposed to it. Your basic Canadian canoe has a quite different prow, the usual curved thing.

a tied-off Tomahawk™
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 5, 2010 - 03:01am PT
Good times.

How is this four years old already?
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Sep 25, 2010 - 06:01pm PT
Time-Space Bump!
Peter Haan

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
Sep 25, 2010 - 07:03pm PT
I don't think so Stevie--- obviously there has been a rip in the Space-Time Fabric. Look what Yo just said above!! Ed Beartouni is busy having a Facelift so there's no help there either!

Somewhere out there
Sep 25, 2010 - 08:03pm PT
Great TR.

Love the "Hey F*#k Face" helmet...

Good stuff
Mighty Hiker

Vancouver, B.C.
Dec 6, 2010 - 09:06pm PT
What this thread was missing was a photo of the Canoe.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
Dec 6, 2010 - 10:31pm PT
What this thread is missing, Anders, is a photo of the Canoe with an inflatable Helga doll hanging from it.... [HINT]
Mighty Hiker

Vancouver, B.C.
Dec 6, 2010 - 11:01pm PT
Hopefully the thread vandals will stay away from this one.

Trad climber
Dec 6, 2010 - 11:06pm PT
One of my all time favorite TRs.

Hobart, Australia
Dec 6, 2010 - 11:57pm PT
on the first ascent--I was freeing an old rope had gotten stuck on the Canoe probably sometime in the early 80's. Back in 1984, the wind had strung that same rope across the Shield, where it annoyingly flapped and whipped at me when I was soloing that route, so I reached out and cut it in half. Here, many years later, I was able to finish the clean up job...

at the Canoe on the FA
at the Canoe on the FA
Credit: deuce4
The Warbler

the edge of America
Dec 7, 2010 - 02:02am PT
Now there's a good trundle...
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
Dec 7, 2010 - 09:31am PT
Hey John,

How about some more photos from the first ascent? Those would be great to see, especially the pitch above the Canoe which has become Pretty Darn Hard now that the beak placements are getting beaten out.

Would also love to see a photo of The Flight!
Mighty Hiker

Vancouver, B.C.
Dec 7, 2010 - 01:10pm PT
John's partial removal of the offending rope one year, then return years later to finish the job, would surely earn the above and beyond award at the FaceLift. It's not everyone who does a new route on El Cap, just to clean up some tattered old rope.

May 25, 2011 - 02:37pm PT
This TR never gets old bump.

Trad climber
Jun 5, 2011 - 01:16am PT
A bump for one of the best posts ever...

Aug 11, 2011 - 12:10pm PT
Users Note: not a teez...

Trad climber
Nov 20, 2011 - 05:41pm PT
bumpity bump bump

Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
Nov 28, 2011 - 12:44am PT

A 5 years later thank you.

I love your "humour" dude!!

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Nov 28, 2011 - 01:05am PT


Nice mix of pictures and humor.
Mighty Hiker

Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 28, 2011 - 01:25am PT
So did Geoff ever marry the anaesthesiologist's daughter?

Trad climber
Dec 3, 2011 - 12:29am PT
bump. frick that obnoxious repub thread. why don't guys you take it off line?
Lynne Leichtfuss

Trad climber
Will know soon
Dec 3, 2011 - 12:49am PT
Fantastic real life story telling......A 10 in my TR book. Cheers, lynne

Trad climber
Dec 3, 2011 - 01:16am PT
Yeah Lynne; it is on my all time favorites list. yo USED to post here...

Trad climber
Oct 31, 2012 - 10:43pm PT
ß Î Ø T Ç H

Boulder climber
Nov 3, 2013 - 01:34am PT

Trad climber
May 10, 2014 - 01:00am PT

Social climber
Truckee, CA
May 10, 2014 - 03:06am PT
I would go big wall climbing with Jessica Alba. I mean, you know, if she wanted to.

Trad climber
Oct 18, 2014 - 03:40am PT

Oakland, CA
Oct 18, 2014 - 10:24am PT
"Hey F*#k Face" and "(with Jules Eichorn)" bump.

Oct 18, 2014 - 12:48pm PT
...and this.

Think a gerbil the size of an ox with bunny ears and a scorpion tale with venom strong enough to kill 187 men.

A perennial favorite TR.

Trad climber
Aug 11, 2015 - 09:03am PT
BBST. Rough morning.

Trad climber
Feb 24, 2016 - 12:44pm PT
Bump for toulman.

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Feb 24, 2016 - 04:24pm PT
Haven't read this in years, still one of my favs! Yo was the first winner of the "lifetime achievement" award for supertopo entertainment. For me at least.

Trad climber
Feb 24, 2016 - 04:49pm PT
Yo was a gud one. Wish he was still posting.

Trad climber
Aug 2, 2016 - 10:15pm PT
Bumping for climbing content.

Aug 3, 2016 - 12:16am PT
Thanks for the bump. That was funny as shit!

Big Wall climber
El Portal, CA
Jul 24, 2017 - 11:42am PT
This trip report ruined by Photo Bucket.

Boulder climber
Andy Cairns
Jul 24, 2017 - 11:51am PT
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