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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 15, 2013 - 01:52am PT
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I was just down in Sedona for a few days of rock climbing. I said to myself, when in Rome do as the Romans do, so i had an astral photograph taken. Much to my chagrin the photo revealed an otherwise invisible apple sized goiter growing out of my neck. I was told that it could only be cured by Atlantean Healing. Has anyone here ever had success with this therapy?
There is a supposedly great climb in the area named the Vortex....it's on my short list for my next visit.
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Ward Trotter
Trad climber
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Dec 15, 2013 - 02:18am PT
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[Click to View YouTube Video]
Before " Atlantean Healing" Tore aggressively marketed small busts of Karl Marx with Chia seed growth for Marx's beard, called "Chia Marx"
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weezy
climber
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Dec 15, 2013 - 02:23am PT
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when i get that feeling, i need atlantean healing.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Dec 15, 2013 - 02:32am PT
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it could only be cured by Atlantean Healing
Bingo! That would be a dead giveaway to me that they are trying to mislead you. Only thing that can cure you is essentially yourself.
Well, hell, for two grand, I could get rid of that thing that they seem to have located.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 15, 2013 - 02:36am PT
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Wayno.....i think that an Italian meal, cooked by you, would send that pesky (hard to see) goiter down the pike.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Dec 15, 2013 - 02:46am PT
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Any time, Jim. And I have the perfect wine for goiters.
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Dec 15, 2013 - 02:53am PT
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Try over lapping that photo with its negative
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Dec 15, 2013 - 03:14am PT
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So Jim, I asked my atlantean contacts and all I could get was seaweed. Eat lots of seaweed. ;^)
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Dec 15, 2013 - 03:20am PT
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I think in Sedona they prefer cactii over seaweed. Or maybe jus weed?
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Dec 15, 2013 - 03:30am PT
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If I was in Sedona and had some time to kill, i would check it out. How much did they get you for, Jim? It would be interesting to see what they did or didn't find. I could almost already imagine it.
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franky
Trad climber
Bishop, CA
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Dec 15, 2013 - 09:13am PT
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Seems worth it!
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stevep
Boulder climber
Salt Lake, UT
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Dec 15, 2013 - 10:04am PT
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The god of Atlantis is Poseidon. His symbol is a bull. You will be best served by sacrificing a bull and pouring the blood into the ocean at midnight on the full moon.
Or failing that, just eat a steak.
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Dec 15, 2013 - 10:48am PT
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I remember something big was going to happen near Sedona a few years back.
Was it a Harmonic Convergence--------or a Moronic Disturbance???
Come to Choss Creek Jim. We'll feed you a little "Nerve-Tonic", then Harley will lay on paws, cleanly remove your astral goiter, and we will bury it down by the spring creek.
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philo
Trad climber
Is that light the end of the tunnel or a train?
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Dec 15, 2013 - 10:54am PT
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Was it a Harmonic Convergence--------or a Moronic Disturbance
No Fritz it was a harmonica convention.
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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Dec 15, 2013 - 01:03pm PT
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Less negative male energy might help...?
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Edge
Trad climber
Boulder, CO
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Dec 15, 2013 - 01:11pm PT
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You can always try self treatment with Pacifican Healing.
1. Smudge your innards with Humboldt counties finest.
2. Sprinkle ashes from Mt St Helens around you in a counterclockwise sacred circle.
3. Flog the affected area with seaweed.
Most people find suitable results after Step 1.
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McHale's Navy
Trad climber
From Panorama City, CA
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Dec 15, 2013 - 01:21pm PT
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Jim, in that video Tore said if you are already experiencing perfection you got nothing to worry about. So, that goiter probably belongs to somebody else. You could get a second opinion at Mt. Shasta though.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 15, 2013 - 01:43pm PT
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Baffin Bay healing: Perform the hempen ritual as above. Then jump in naked, come out a block of ice, have the crew crush you and slush you and drink you down, piss you back into the Bay, spend a long time evaporating, then come back and land in Californy, "the place ya ouhta be," whole and pure and goiter-free.
It's costly and there's no guarantee you'll end up even over land, but it's New Age and people might even begin to think you ARE Roman.
I'd go for the invite from Wayno, myself.
We need some Donini Rain! Any rain will do, but you might get to fall on some great routes. You could at least RUN down the Nose In A Day.
Great balls of fire, Dyngus Mylktoasted, put that one up over on the Flames!
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Dec 15, 2013 - 01:49pm PT
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Are we seeing the Second Coming of Juan de Fuca? Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 15, 2013 - 02:34pm PT
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AT LAST THE TRUTH!
Flipper reveals: Eeeep! Eeep! Eeeeeeep-eep!
Turns out it was Charles Atlas' empire.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/536801
Kickin' sand in the face of REAL history.
Who in the hell is Rhonda Fuca?
Wouldn't it be cool to come down as a raindrop on the nose of a Gibraltar Ape? One who could climb & keep up with Jim, goiter or no?
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