What would Harding say?

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Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 18, 2013 - 05:08am PT


June 18, 2013, would have been Warren Harding's 89 birthday.

I often find myself thinking, What would Harding say?

For example, if you had asked Harding about dealing with fear when climbing. Whenever possible he would have discounted the dangers of climbing, saying things like "You know all of us climbers are crazy".

Whatever his fears and regrets were, he mostly internalized them. He knew the danger, but he did not fear being killed on the mountain.

Even after he was almost frozen to death on the side of half dome in 1968, the most he would say about the incident was "It was a close thing".




In 1961 Harding was leading the first ascent of Leaning Tower when he was hit on the head by a falling rock. Al MacDonald and Glen Denny, below him saw blood dripping down, they shouted out Warren are you okay. There was a long pregnant silence before he answered back, "I am ok, I see perfectly, I see two of everything".

The trio was able to bail off successfully, before Warren would go to the hospital and have stitches put in his head, he insisted they stop for a drink. Harding always had his priorities straight.

When climbing tragedies occurred, I am sure Warren would've expressed his condolences, he would not have wanted to over analyze the accidents. He would've seen such discussions as being too intrusive.


Harding was definitely a fatalist, if your number is up, it's up, no use over thinking the subject. He didn't like to be overanalyzed nor did he feel it necessary to comment on other people's business.

However late at night, after imbibing too much, all bets were off, Wayne Merry described him as becoming maudlin. Harding would've said some things are best not remembered the next morning.

On the subject of sobriety, Warren would've said "Stop drinking, why I love to drink". Unfortunately it was a fact, one which he embraced early in life and never sought to change. Despite it all he lived to be 77 years old.

People have said Harding must've hated himself to drink so much. I don't think that was true at all, he was addicted and could not stop drinking.

The Harding of the early years should not be compared to the later version, when alcohol ravaged his body and mind to a great degree. I knew him in the middle years when he still appeared to have some control, more importantly his mind was sharp and clear.

The Harding I remember was soft-spoken, upbeat, full of life. He was generous, often loaning out his equipment, sleeping bags and backpacks etc, he couldn't have been more helpful. Warren didn't seem to require any thanks, only your friendship.


The only time I ever saw him in a bad mood was in the fall of 1971, when he was dealing with the bad press he received over the Wall of Early Morning Light climb.

Only now do I understand the depth of his despair he was feeling at that time. This ultimately led to the writing of his book Downward Bound. I'm convinced that without the controversy the book would never have happened.

The older I get, the more I realize that Warren's legacy is not the mountains that he scaled, but the enthusiasm that he brought to the sport.

Many climbers had better style that's for sure. Few had the combination of his wicked sense of humor and his dogged toughness. He described himself as "thrashing" his way to the top, he wasn't elegant, but he was unstoppable.

How much poorer would we be if the history of the Golden years had not included his off-the-wall, totally unique character.

Mavericks are definitely more fun to hear about, maybe not to live with, but that's another story.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Semperfarcious,

Susie


Jan

Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
Jun 18, 2013 - 05:52am PT
A great tribute to a great character.
Yosemite would indeed have been much poorer without Warren and his irreverence.
he was a much needed antidote to the times.
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 07:22am PT
Thanks Jan,

I often think that after all these years not much is really changed.

The names are different, but the tenor of the discussions haven't changed much, look at how polarized some threads have become recently.

Harding would not be amused, that's for sure.

johntp

Trad climber
socal
Jun 18, 2013 - 07:49am PT
Thanks for the post. Time flies.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:37am PT
Well said PR! Thank you for that!
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:49am PT
"I listened to 'im run 'is mouth, then I 'it 'im."

DMT, you have a pint coming.

"Pint-size" is the right size, mate!

Susie,

I think Warren might say to you, "Cheers, Sweetheart!"

I'll just thank you for the reminiscing you have posted.

For folks new to Supertoop, much more good stuff is in Park Rat's ten other posts specifically about WH and his times.

Search; you will be rewarded.
Charlie D.

Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:05am PT
Thanks PR, only met the man a couple times while he as still climbing. Never got the opportunity to know him, loved his smile.
ron gomez

Trad climber
fallbrook,ca
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:10am PT
I love to swing into Roger Derryberry's place on the way up the Eastside Sierra and sit in his room with Harding's gear. We usually sit and I listen to endless stories of Warren. Wish Roger would post up here. They had a special relationship it seems and the stories are endless and classic! One of my prized pieces is a "semper farcious" shirt Roger gave to me on a visit.
Peace
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 10:11am PT
Ron,

I think you're right about young climbers thinking that Harding was the ultimate hard man.

You have to factor in was the primitive equipment he was using back in the day versus what's available today.

If Harding had the advantage of starting in a climbing gym and using today's equipment I think he might've been even more amazing.
Norton

Social climber
the Wastelands
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:22am PT
what would he say?


well............
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 10:28am PT
Hi Dean,

That's so funny, he must've been showing off for some tourists.

The biggest bear I ever saw in the park was in the dumpster behind the Lodge. He was huge and seemed to be there every night as I left the old Mountain Room bar.

I remember tiptoeing past him every night holding my breath hoping he wouldn't notice me.

I am pretty sure Warren would've thought twice about yelling at that huge black bear. Chuckle
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:45am PT
Nice remembrance.....he was a unique and iconic member of the tribe.
Darwin

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:00am PT
Pure gold! Thanks for the remembrances.

Darwin
PhilG

Trad climber
The Circuit, Tonasket WA
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:01am PT
Excellent post.
Thanks, Susie for fleshing out a great historical figure.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:26am PT
I never get tired of Warren stories, especially when recounted by you, Ms Rat. :-)

Do you have any advice to offer me? I need a way to break it to my wife
that my signed Warren poster is going up next to her Baryshnikov. I say
it is an appropriate pairing, don't you? I'm sure Warren would have been amused.
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 11:40am PT
Reilly,

I don't know what to tell you, but you might want to rethink this.

I'm not sure whether he would've been amused or horrified. Chuckle
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 04:34pm PT
Ron,

You may be in luck as Wayne Merry is sure to read this thread.

I have been emailing him recently, he's busy doing SAR training

as we speak.

He may not remember after all these years, but we can sure ask him.

If he doesn't pop up on the thread, I will shoot him an email.
guido

Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
Jun 18, 2013 - 05:29pm PT
Happy Birthday Warren!
Boche and I made it to his 50th at TM's house in Oakhurst. Thanks Susie that was a fitting tribute to an incredible man.
Inner City

Trad climber
East Bay
Jun 18, 2013 - 07:52pm PT
"pass the wine jug!"
Michelle

Social climber
1187 Hunterwasser
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:40pm PT
Downward Bound is one of my favorites. The spirit he brought to climbing really appealed to me when I was learning.

Sempre Farcissimus!

WBraun

climber
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:44pm PT
I spent two winters in Camp 4 with Warren Harding.

Every late afternoon at 4:30PM he would say:

"The bar opens in a half hour" ......
goatboy smellz

climber
Nederland-GulfBreeze
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:49pm PT
Thanks Park Rat the legends live through Harding, L, Em & Bruce, Scuffy, Pud, Jaybro, Frog, bvb, Cragman & Hartouni restores my faith that the California attitude is still one of the top ten best walks in life.
murcy

Gym climber
sanfrancisco
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:03pm PT
Thanks very much.
Fletcher

Trad climber
The great state of advaita
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:20pm PT
Thank you for the funny, poignant and ultimately beautiful story Susie. WH definitely haunts me, but only in a spirited, enthusiastic, and fun-loving way. I have his birthday noted in calendar each year. Not everyone gets to be at that level.

I too once stopped by Roger's place in Bishop with a pal (10b4me) to see the memorial. We're just standin' around like a couple of putzes with our hands in our pockets when this nice lady comes out and asks us if we want to see the Harding museum. We had no clue! We said "Sure!" and she says, "Well, let me see if I can wake him up!" Then for the next hour and a half we were given the grand tour and regaled with tales of mirth, woe, and intrigue.

We'd mentioned we'd be at the Nose 50th event and months later, Roger ran into us there and gave a few Warren related "treats" that I will cherish forever. It was very nice of him to remember us, since he really didn't know us from boo. But I think he valued that we appreciated the beauty and complexity that WH embodied.

Hats off to ya, Warren, wherever you may be!
Eric
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:32pm PT
I first met Warren when, after seizing a just vacated seat at a fire in C4 in December, 1976, he nudged me and passed a bottle of wine. I recognized him immediately but just smiled and joined the banter.

The next morning we talked a bit and he really liked that I recalled Lito's letter to Mountain after the WOTEML.

It would be another 8 years, but I saw him again in Oakland for what had to have been the highpoint of his life, the slide show at the AAC meeting.
Yvon and Royal rode herd over him, allowing him to imbibe but not too much.

He was in perfect humor and, with the help of some of Galen's images, he friggin brought the house down.
It was well practiced material so the delivery was perfect. The one I really remember was at the end of the WOTEML images he said, "Many of the Valley climbers were somewhat displeased with our style." and then he clicks a shot from Pakistan of 20 raggedly dressed Balti porters during a strike glaring at the camera.

I have never seen a climber before or since get such an enthusiastic ovation. The place went nuts.

The following week I spent climbing at JT with Andy Embick, who had hosted Warren in Valdez, and I got to hear about the darker side of Warren.

When Warren moved to Moab I saw a lot more of him and Alice. No longer a wino they were co-enablers and were hitting Manhattans at noon.
(maybe that is appropriate since Manhattan comes from the indian for "island with many rocks")

Occasionally when sloshed he would lash out, and I would say, "Warren, you're gonna chase away ALL your friends. You used to be my hero." Then I would leave.
When I saw him again he would have forgotten and be friendly again.
This happened 3 times.

In the fullness of time I have come to realize that finding that your heros have feet of clay and seeing them evolve into becoming friends is one of life's bittersweet gifts granted to only a few.

That it has been given to me so many times over makes me lucky indeed.
I hope that I can live up to the honor.
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 09:36pm PT
Thank you all for your kind comments.

I have to confess that I spend way too much time thinking about what to say about Harding.

I start with a rough outline and just keep playing with it, my goal is to stay true to the Harding I remember, as well as the one I've been told about by a number of you who have shared your reminiscences of him with me.

If I can channel his voice and paint a good picture of him for you then I've done my job.
craig mo

Trad climber
L.A. Ca.
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:40pm PT
who here might earn a black hat? Did Warren come up with the hat code
Peter Haan

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:43pm PT
WARREN HARDING, LORD OF LIGHT

Peter Haan

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:45pm PT
ROYAL AND HERBERT REBUKE THE FORCES OF EVIL

JOEY.F

Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:55pm PT
Love the taco for the history that pops up, thank you Park Rat for the post.
as i enjoy a not expensive glass of red,
H.B. Warren, where ever you are....
TrundleBum

Trad climber
Las Vegas
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:23pm PT
Wonderful thread, as stated up thread... pure gold!

I hope this thread stays alive for years and becomes 10,000 posts long.

Met him once outside the Mountain room bar.

I always wondered what Harding thought of the cartoon/characacher of Him BITD.
The one where he is wearing a trench coat and saying something like:
'Hey kid, wanna buy a bolt kit?"

I guess I wonder what he would have thought of modern day rap bolting/sport climbs and cordless, power drills.

I also wonder what he would've thought...
No let me say, I wonder how vehemently he would have applauded little Kara's recent 'Jugless' ascent of the Nose.
A total demi God !

I recount often to new climbers the story and his response when reaching the top of the Nose...
(something like)

"Conquered? Well from where I am standing it seems El Cap is in a lot better shape than I am!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you Park Rat ;)
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Jun 19, 2013 - 09:50am PT
i never spoke to harding,
though i've heard his message thru
his routes that i've climbed,

west face of the tower,
eeyores enigma,
harding's chimney
north buttress of middle...

these speak volumes of the man, their author.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Jun 19, 2013 - 10:49am PT
Susie great stuff.

Yeah like others, it was C4 where I met him a couple of times. Didn't know what to think at first except the media coverage of the WOEML, but he seemed friendly enough.

Wish I had gotten to know him better.

And you are correct, the ST, as with the US, is polarized to an extent. I perhaps have contributed some to that, but am learning to temper my thoughts (and fingers on the keyboard).

Harding, Beckey, and other legends. And they are legends, not just icons. Maybe some may have not agreed with their views on climbing, or indeed life, but wow, I wish I had their heritage.
BASE104

Social climber
An Oil Field
Jun 19, 2013 - 11:41am PT
On Youtube there is an 8 section long interview with Chuck Pratt, probably the only one he did, and he was obviously embarrassed. It was when Pratt was guiding for the Exum School in the Tetons.

He talked about how he started climbing, and how Harding got him going in Yosemite. He spoke reverently of Harding, who was very much alive at the time. It is a cool interview. Go check it out.
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 19, 2013 - 12:10pm PT
Hi there everyone,

So many kind comments, Harding would have been very happy about this for sure.

I like to think that when I'm no longer around to remind you all of him, that the things I've written will carry on long into the future.

There's no such thing as a lifetime pass, we all fade away. The world has a short memory, few will be remembered 100 years from now.

Characters like Warren are few and far be, which may be a good thing. Chuckle.

I can assure you that Harding had a fantastic sense of humor, which never left him. No one enjoyed the joke or off-color story more than he did.

He didn't like was being criticized about his climbing in print, he couldn't believe that people had so little to do with their time.

Thanks for reminding me about the Pratt video, I watched them a long time ago, but will rewatch, thank you.

StahlBro

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
Jun 19, 2013 - 12:21pm PT
Never got to climb with Warren, but hung out with him a few times in the ditch. Best was getting naked in the Ahwahnee tubs with Warren and some female companions after doing Serenity and Maxine's. Drank a sh*tload of cheap beer. He was hilarious and definitely had a presence and opinions. Loved his sense of humor. People in the hotel kept coming out with binoculars trying to figure out what the hell was going on up there. One of my best days in the Vallley for sure.
BASE104

Social climber
An Oil Field
Jun 19, 2013 - 12:30pm PT
Nobody can forget Harding. He gave us two of the best routes on the planet.

The Nose and what is now Astroman.

The Harding slot is still much feared, and I consider the Nose one of the best routes on Earth. Fantastic rock and cracks in the most beautiful setting on the entire captain.
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jun 19, 2013 - 01:37pm PT

Burp!
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 21, 2013 - 03:30pm PT
Bump!
steveA

Trad climber
bedford,massachusetts
Jun 21, 2013 - 06:20pm PT
Without question, Harding bagged the most iconic rock climb in the world.

I just returned from the Valley, from the East Coast with my son. I make the pilgrimage every few years. I just can't he;p from going back--wish I was there now.

Harding left quite a legacy with his route-The Nose

I really enjoyed meeting many of the climbers from all over the world, who had completed or were just starting off for the Nose.
They all have that energy that Warren Harding had which fades as we get older,(except in a few cases).

My only memories of Harding were chasing him down the stairs, at some Harvard dorm, with him swigging a gallon jug of wine. I was impressed !!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Mar 1, 2015 - 09:41am PT
hey there say... bump... will put a born-bit-of-june,
into this cold winter, here...


cozy fireside... thus, some folks can think, reflect and remember...
warms the heart, to think back on friends, etc...
Wade Icey

Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
Mar 1, 2015 - 10:15am PT
Harding would say what he said when preparing to descend from the summit of El Cap after his 40th anniversary ascent of the Nose.

"What's the rush Gentlemen? Perhaps we should take a moment to enjoy this wine, the scenery and the good company."

One of the most enjoyable evenings of my life.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Apr 21, 2017 - 05:29pm PT
From Roger Derryberry (Tuffrockmedia).

[Click to View YouTube Video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0DC70p-BEE
I haven't watched this yet, either. You got any beers? Bar's open, Werner.
Flip Flop

climber
Earth Planet, Universe
Apr 21, 2017 - 06:17pm PT
Classic Mouse! Well worth the watch
madbolter1

Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
Apr 21, 2017 - 07:33pm PT
"I AM the Yosemite local!"
Studly

Trad climber
WA
Apr 21, 2017 - 08:34pm PT
That was awesome Mouse.
covelocos

Trad climber
Apr 21, 2017 - 10:33pm PT
"Because we're insane!"
EdBannister

Mountain climber
13,000 feet
Apr 22, 2017 - 01:31pm PT
whatever he said, it was with his unmistakeable voice and cadence....

and it was was often funny or cause for thought.

not sure who it was who said of the early days:

"Warren was different, Warren drove a Corvette."




Mouse, thanks for posting.
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Apr 22, 2017 - 01:46pm PT
The young Harding was handsome and super fit, nobody in Camp 4 could match his time hiking from the Valley to the top of Half Dome. Too bad that booze became such a large part of his life. He still left an enormous legacy.
Tom

Big Wall climber
San Luis Obispo CA
Apr 22, 2017 - 09:32pm PT
The best top-out of any El Capitan route I've done (seven) was the Dawn Wall.

When PTPP and I did New Dawn to Tribal Rite, the last few pitches were Harding's, when he did the Dawn Wall.

SCENE: a diving board-like ledge, that abruptly ends against a flat wall. The hauling anchor is just off the ledge, so that the hauling is free-space, and then the haul bags are easily pulled onto the diving board ledge.



The only haul station that even comes close is at the Round Table ledge on Excalibur, courtesy of Charlie Porter and Hugh Burton. The configuration is very similar.



Lambone

Big Wall climber
Ashland, Or
Apr 23, 2017 - 12:30am PT
Great post Susie!
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Apr 23, 2017 - 09:55am PT
Yes Mouse that video is Great!

Harding : "You need more ignorance!" Hahahaha.. i love that line:)
clinker

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
Apr 23, 2017 - 10:49am PT
Alcohol reduces the friction of opportunity hampering ethics.

Harding climbed the best routes. Ethics are important and at times the disregard for exclusionary opinions is more so. Harding was one hell of a wall climber.
i-b-goB

Social climber
Wise Acres
Apr 23, 2017 - 11:53am PT
Thanks Mouse!

"The Harding that stood in slings all night with his arm held over his head hammering, pounding, drilling just to reach the summit of El Cap. Sleeping on uncomfortable ledges, wet soaked to the bone freezing just to complete a route on a rock wall, a mere line in a guide book!"

...The Nose, the line of lines!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Apr 23, 2017 - 11:00pm PT
hey there say, mouse... wow, neat share... i will watch it...

also, nice words from donini...


and--wow, i will LET susie know this is bumped up, and with the
video, :)


night night, now, all...
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Apr 23, 2017 - 11:31pm PT
PleasAnt dreams Neebee!
Fossil climber

Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
Apr 24, 2017 - 10:37am PT
Thanks Mouse, great stuff! Nostalgia plus.

Wayne
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Apr 25, 2017 - 02:36pm PT
+10 for the video Mouse posted by Roger Derryberry.

Yes, the more ignorance line was pretty darn good.

But I got an even bigger laugh out of the Beryl Knauth story at 5:35 ...
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Feb 22, 2019 - 09:04am PT
bump time

IF YOU DON'T CONSUME ALCOHOL ON WINO TOWER THEN THE WHOLE ASCENT IS INVALID.
--coolrockclimberguy69
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Feb 22, 2019 - 09:24am PT
“What would Harding say?”

Duh - “When do we drink?”
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Feb 22, 2019 - 09:32am PT
What we he say? Something like...pass that box red over here and don’t expect to see it again.
Don Lauria

Trad climber
Bishop, CA
Feb 22, 2019 - 10:20am PT
One for the Road

In the Winter 2001-2002 issue of the Backside (the Bardini newsletter) I wrote a memoir relating the life and times of Warren Harding – the Yosemite Valley climbing pioneer – the prime mover in the first ascent of El Capitan in 1958. I have managed to collect a few classic “Harding stories” through my long friendship with him – none necessarily complimentary of Warren, but I’m sure Warren would be amused by most of them – not caring a fig about what others thought. Here’s “One for the Road”.

In the years beginning in 1982 through 2001, I had been riding in the annual Death Valley to Mt. Whitney bicycle race – a two-stage road race between Stove Pipe Wells in DV and Whitney Portal out of Lone Pine, California. The first day ended after 80 miles in the town of Lone Pine and on the second day proceeded up, not very directly, 20 miles to the Mount Whitney trailhead at Whitney Portal - a total of 100 miles and 13, 000 feet of elevation gain over the up and down route.

Each year I would have someone accompany me to Stove Pipe Wells in order to have a
driver to shuttle my car back to Lone Pine the next day. It was in the mid-1990s that Warren
was visiting in Bishop. One evening over many glasses of Red Mountain on Bardini’s patio, he volunteered to be my driver. I had some reservations about foisting the responsibility upon him – mostly because of his tendency to imbibe, but acceded and explained the details of his responsibility. He was anxious to do me the favor.

The next day he arrived at my doorstep with a smile, a cooler, and his luggage. Before departing Bishop I snuck a peek at the cooler contents – a few bottles of red wine, a fifth of cognac, and a variety of beers. He placed the cooler in the back of my pickup – close to the cab’s rear window within easy reach from his front seat perch. Surprisingly over the 130 miles to Stove Pipe Wells, he did not even hint at getting into the cooler. We arrived at the motel and had a pasta dinner in our room over my propane backpacking stove. Warren opened a bottle of wine and we each had a couple of glasses and went to bed early.

The next morning it was necessary to be up and ready to go by 6 AM when the race began. I reviewed his responsibilities to him – leave Stove Pipe Wells any time after the race begins, just make sure you get to Lone Pine ahead of me and you have a cold six-pack in the truck. Okay, he got it.

During the 5 hour ride to Lone Pine I was vigilantly watching for my truck to pass me with Warren at the wheel. Finally, after about 50 miles, Warren raced past me with a wave. When I arrived at the finish line he was waiting with the prescribed six pack and all was well. We went directly to our motel where I showered and we finished the six pack.

That evening we went out to dinner at the Seasons Restaurant instead of eating the picnic meal at the park with all the riders. Warren loved that restaurant and mentioned that the last time he ate there he had tipped the waitress $100. She brought his check back and assuming he had made a mistake. “No, I appreciate service, especially from beautiful women” was his reply.

Our dinner order consisted of escargot, filet mignon Bourdelaise, Caesar salad, and a bottle of fine Zinfandel. I had two small glasses of wine, Warren drank the rest as well as a glass of white “to go with the snails”. During our dinner conversation, he barely touched his filet mignon and requested a doggie bag. After tipping the waitress $50, Warren insisted on treating” me to a thimbleful of Courvasier, for which he tipped the flabbergasted waitress another $50 - by mistake - he thought it was a twenty.

He staggered ever so slightly as he rose from the table and we proceeded to the sidewalk in front of the restaurant’s large glass windows. I was in the driver’s seat as Warren attempted the high step from the sidewalk into the cab. I saw it coming but was helpless to assist. He lost his balance and careened backward toward the large window that separated us from the table we had just left in the restaurant. It was a near catastrophic event that ended with him on his back and me rushing around the truck to retrieve him. As I lifted him from the concrete, the restaurant owner’s wife came rushing out with Warren’s doggie bag. “Mr.
Harding, Mr. Harding, your dinner!”

Back at the motel I went over his next morning’s duties with him. Tomorrow, Warren, all
you need to do is get the Toyota to Whitney Portal by noon with some cold beer. It’s only
about a two and a quarter hour bike ride over the 20 miles with over 4000 feet of elevation
gain, so I should be there about 10:30. It usually takes until noon for all the riders to finish and for the awards to be presented. “Oooo ... oh, I think I can do thaa....aat, Don.” We retired immediately at 9:00 PM - I was exhausted.

At 7 AM the next morning we arose. Warren was more alert than I expected he would be. He was sipping motel coffee as I dressed and reviewed his routine with him. As I headed for the starting location, I rolled my bike out the door and I glanced back to spot Warren pouring cognac into his coffee. Oh, oh, I thought.

Part of the second day’s ride is through a residential area off the main road to the Portal, so it was quite possible that he could precede me up the hill without me seeing him. I was, again, very vigilant on the ride, but did not see him pass me. When I crossed the finish line he was nowhere in sight. It was early – 10:30 AM. Since I came in second (in a field of two), I awaited the awards ceremony. An hour later, still no Warren. One of my awards was an unwieldy hibachi. Without Warren, I was anticipating a 4300-foot descent to Lone Pine on a bicycle with a hibachi under my arm – a suicidal thought. I found a friend and resident of Lone Pine to carry my hibachi down. The bicycle descent on the Portal road is always adventurous due to rocks on the road, the multitude of pot holes, and the steep terrain. I had the additional distraction of looking for Warren in every approaching pickup and scouring the sides of the road for my wrecked Toyota. As I approached downtown Lone Pine I had to think about where to go. The sheriff’s station? The hospital? I opted for the motel - I’d go there first.

I rode into the parking area at Best Western to find my truck right where I left it. The maids were busily refreshing the rooms and all the motel doors were wide open. I went into our room. Nobody visible. I called out, “Warren?” No answer. Again, “Warren?” This time a low agonized groan emanated from behind the closed bathroom door. “Warren, are you in here?” The door knob rattled and finally the door swung open and out staggered Warren. He offered, “I over schlept!”

I put him up against the wall, hands over his head, and told him to hold it up while I packed my stuff and put my bike in the truck. When I finished I said, “Okay, let’s go.” He turned from his wall-holding position and tumbled into the dresser next to him. On the way down his head hit the corner of the dresser and opened a slit above his right eye that began to bleed profusely. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and pressed it to his forehead. He was sitting on the floor dazed, but smiling. “Here hold this against your eye. Do you have any first aid stuff in your luggage?” He muttered affirmatively and I was able to retrieve a Band-Aid, cut it into a butterfly, stanch the wound, and lead Warren to the truck.

Warren began to sober up as we drove the 60 miles back to Bishop. He managed to converse intermittently and occasionally uttered complete sentences. When we arrived in front of my apartment all the parking spaces on the apartment side of the street were taken so we had to park across the street – right in back of Warren’s car. My job ... get him across the street and into my apartment without the neighbors noticing. At the rear of the truck I asked him to assume the “wall- holding” position while I removed the bike and luggage.

In my apartment, after the last load, I turned toward the truck and my heart skipped a beat – Warren wasn’t there. Simultaneously, I heard to door to the upstairs apartment slam and realized my neighbor – a wonderfully conservative woman – was on her way across the street headed for Warren. He had left my truck and was bent over, leaning into the back seat of his car rummaging through a cardboard box. I raced across the street to arrive just as my neighbor finished asking Warren what he was up to. He reared up, wheeled around and with his nose inches from hers uttered, “What the [expletive] do you care?” Damn, just what I was trying to avoid. “Excuse him, he’s a little drunk.”

Warren continued his search through the box, mumbling something about an upcoming slideshow. My neighbor explained that she initially thought he was into her friend’s car, but now realized that her friend’s car was further down the street. She was very
understanding of the situation and was not offended by Warren’s remark. Relieved, I ushered Warren to my apartment where we settled in and minutes later he was asleep on the sofa. It was about 3 PM.

Around 5 PM the phone rang. It was Bardini, Allan Bard, asking how the race went and how Warren had performed. After my long response, Allan invited us over to a backyard party at his place. Warren had regained consciousness, seemed completely sober and alert, and was all for going to Allan’s party. So off we went. Hours later and many glasses of straight scotch later, Warren was arm-in-arm with Morpheus being led astray once more - down the road.
Spider Savage

Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
Feb 22, 2019 - 10:46am PT
Great story. Can't get enough.


I quit drinking a year ago. Pretty much learned/experienced all I need to know about that subject. Tales like this permit me to enjoy the beyond the limits stuff so no need to experience that level of drinking first hand.


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