Warm thoughts for Apogee..putting his dog down today : /

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Cragman

Trad climber
June Lake, California....via the Damascus Road
Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 17, 2013 - 06:55pm PT
This is tough stuff....these darn animals become family, and teach us all what unconditional love is all about.

Apogee has gone the extra mile with his Maddie, who has battled cancer issues bravely. Today, Maddie's new journey begins.

Wishing Apogee all the peace and comfort that can come from knowing Maddie lived a long, good life....and was loved.....




"If there are no dogs in Heaven, when I die, I want to go where they went."

Will Rogers
labrat

Trad climber
Auburn, CA
Jun 17, 2013 - 06:57pm PT
Good thoughts going your way Apogee :-(
Dr. Christ

Mountain climber
State of Mine
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:00pm PT
Bummer Apogee. Remember the good times.

Here's some pibble deep throating to cheer you up.

Credit: Dr. Christ
eKat

Mountain climber
Less than a second shy of 49 minutes
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:04pm PT
photo not found
Missing photo ID#307302

Maddie will find Skadi, over the Rainbow Bridge. . . and there will be lots and lots of DOG LOVE!

:-(

OXOXOXOXO
guyman

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:09pm PT
app.... feel better, you gave your dog a good life, a good death.

We should all be lucky like your dog.

peace
Jennie

Trad climber
Elk Creek, Idaho
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:11pm PT
My sincere regrets, Apogee...may good memories comfort you...
Daphne

Trad climber
Black Rock City
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:16pm PT
Sending love and support for this very difficult time.
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:18pm PT
Apogee,

I am so sorry about your loss.

I don't think there's any harder decision than the one you had to make.

All of us animal lovers have been there, but it doesn't take out the sting.

I am facing the same thing with my aging animals. I try to enjoy each day with them.

I am so sad for you.

Susie
Gene

climber
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:21pm PT
Thinking of you. It's so heart breaking to do.



Sniff can show Maddie some very cool fields of clover to chase rabbits through.
Credit: Gene

Best,
g

Prod

Trad climber
Jun 17, 2013 - 07:24pm PT
Aw man.

What a bummer!!!

I feel for you.

Guy Kenny
aka Prod.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Jun 17, 2013 - 08:43pm PT
That's the worst! Condolences.
can't say

Social climber
Pasadena CA
Jun 17, 2013 - 08:51pm PT
My sincere condolences Apogee.

When my big dog Walter died suddenly a couple of years ago I was grief stricken beyond anything I had previously experienced.
Walter
Walter
Credit: can't say

Now Walter's life long pal Nicky is in her sunset years and doesn't have much longer I fear
sofa surfing Nicky
sofa surfing Nicky
Credit: can't say
photo not found
Missing photo ID#307317
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:07pm PT
VERY SORRY to hear this Apogee. .They have Souls far greater than ours.. And I believe youll meet again in a spirit world.
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:09pm PT
Maddie will have lots of friends...
here is one, my girl, happy days
Sea of Cortez, Loreto, Baja
Sea of Cortez, Loreto, Baja
Credit: SCseagoat

here is a special memorial place in Santa Cruz at the Land of Medicine Buddha for animals that have passed....I'm often up there to run, next time, I'll stop and think of Maddie..
Animal memorial grove, Land of Medicine Buddha, Santa Cruz Mtn.
Animal memorial grove, Land of Medicine Buddha, Santa Cruz Mtn.
Credit: SCseagoat


Susan
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:14pm PT

Apogee,
Know you made the right decision for your four legged buddy.

I'm so sorry.....
Thinking about you and little Maddie.
Thinking about you and little Maddie.
Credit: nita



dirtbag

climber
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:25pm PT
Aw, I'm so sorry. I know this hurts.
Gal

Trad climber
a semi lucid consciousness
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:26pm PT
Ohhh Apogee, I'm so sorry...
Wade Icey

Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:49pm PT
photo not found
Missing photo ID#158011
wilbeer

Mountain climber
honeoye falls,ny.greeneck alleghenys
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:54pm PT
Really sorry you had to join a club. We live for the memories.
manzanita man

Social climber
somerset, ca.
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:56pm PT
sorry for the loss of your family member. i dred that day. hopefully years down the road.
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jun 17, 2013 - 09:57pm PT
Apogee
My condolences about your pup. Losing a member
of the family really hurts. I wish you the best in
this tough time.
SteveW
kennyt

climber
Woodfords,California
Jun 17, 2013 - 10:12pm PT
Sorry to hear about your pooch, I've been there and it sucks.
Jan

Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
Jun 17, 2013 - 10:19pm PT
I somehow knew when I read your last post on the dog's life thread that I would be seeing this next. It is such a fine line knowing when to give that extra chance and when we are hanging on for ourselves and not them. In my view you made all the right decisions the past few months including this last one. Sometimes love means letting go. May you accept your choices with inner satisfaction and heal your broken heart accordingly.
McCfly

climber
Jun 17, 2013 - 10:59pm PT
photo not found
Missing photo ID#307329
James Wilcox

Boulder climber
The Coast
Jun 17, 2013 - 11:01pm PT
My deepest sympathy and empathy. The loss of a loyal friend weighs heavy.
The Chief

climber
Climber from the Land Mongols under the Whites
Jun 17, 2013 - 11:12pm PT
When life gets down and shetty, lean back on all the days that your pups, including Maddie, gave you throughout their lives here with you. They are all Angels of Happiness, Commitment and true Love. Nothing in this world can match em. Nothing. That is their sole mission in life. Remember em all. It will surely bring nothing but smiles to both your lips and to your soul. Always.
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Jun 17, 2013 - 11:31pm PT
Sorry for you and your dog Apogee.
FRUMY

Trad climber
SHERMAN OAKS,CA
Jun 17, 2013 - 11:33pm PT
Sorry to hear this. Best to you.
JOEY.F

Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
Jun 18, 2013 - 01:30am PT
Dang that's hard, Apogee,
All the best to you during this time.
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 18, 2013 - 02:36am PT
Oh, my word. Thank you all for this support...especially you, Dean.

I took my girl out for a last walk today- it's a walk we've done for years, that she knows too well, but in recent months it's become more taxing, and harder for her to see. Still, she bounded along as though it was any other day. I really wish I could be a dog, in that sense.

My stepfather, who has lovingly provided her with a second home when I was away, was able to join me at the vet. I felt honored & relieved to have him there.

I held her closely as the barbituate was injected into her foreleg- she yelped a bit, but that's not out of character for my girl- she was always something of a princess that way when it came to anything resembling discomfort.

I buried my nose up close to her face, whispering that I love you, and I know. Over and over, as she gradually went limp, and went to sleep. She looked as though she has for months now, when she was napping, or when I would wake her for her late night pee.

Afterward, I spent an hour with her, talking with her and appreciating so many things that were the essence of Maddie. Her beautiful black & white markings, esp. the round spot on her butt that looked like someone had dipped her in ink; her dewclaws that were never removed when she was a puppy (she was a rescue dog from the streets of Austin), her long, distinctive tail, the 'beauty mark' brown spots on the side of her face, her spotted, soft belly, her long 'drumstick' legs, and those fabulous, distinctive, pointed, heavenly-soft ears.

My eyes are raw from tears tonight. This past year has had an unusual number of personal challenges for me, but this one caps them by some measure. I loved Maddie deeper than most people I've ever known...she had the purity of spirit that we all seek, and never find (except in a pooch). Returning to my home was every bit as difficult as I feared: so empty, so lonely. I sat on the front porch with a beer, holding her collar...as I held it, it jangled and I instinctively thought she was walking up behind me to join me on the porch, as she had done so many times before.

I know she's in a better place. I know this was the right decision. I just miss her so very, very, very badly tonight. And forever.

Credit: apogee
Peter Haan

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 02:53am PT
Thank you Apogee. Astonishingly shared; painful and gorgeous all at once.
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Jun 18, 2013 - 03:06am PT
apogee...you're making me cry.......
bye Maddie....

treez

Trad climber
99827
Jun 18, 2013 - 03:09am PT
I did this last september.

It was very traumatic, but I have crossed over to fond memories of a best friend and a life well lived.

Peace to you, Apogee.
Michelle

Social climber
1187 Hunterwasser
Jun 18, 2013 - 03:35am PT
Much love to you right now.
Cragman

Trad climber
June Lake, California....via the Damascus Road
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 07:18am PT
Best to you, Ap....




So this is where we part, My Friend,
and you'll run on, around the bend,
gone from sight, but not from mind,
new pleasures there you'll surely find.

I will go on, I'll find the strength,
life measures quality, not its length.
One long embrace before you leave,
share one last look, before I grieve.

There are others, that much is true,
but they be they, and they aren't you.
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought,
will remember well all you've taught.

Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,
the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.
And as you journey to your final rest,
take with you this...I loved you best.
Bill Mc Kirgan

Trad climber
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:36am PT
Very sorry to hear of your loss Apogee. Think of those wonderful times you shared with your dear pup. You provided Maddie with much more than her basic needs and she had a wonderful life as your companion. Though you are separated now I do believe that you will be reunited as all beings who share life and love will be in heaven. Bless you and may you find comfort in those happy memories of your time on earth with Maddie.
wilbeer

Mountain climber
honeoye falls,ny.greeneck alleghenys
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:47am PT
For Apogee,








a lot of us have been in your shoes,that does not make it any better,but our thoughts are with you.Peace
Capt.

climber
some eastside hovel
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:51am PT
So sorry to hear this.Sorry for your loss Apogee.As you can see, several people have been in your boat.It's a tough one my friend.I did it last march and it was definitely one of my toughest days EVER.MY dog now resides on Bishop Creek at one of my favorite flyfishing spots.I still fish with him as often as possible.Point is,I feel your pain.It seems you have plenty of support here.Time is the only healer and it takes A LOT of time.Positive vibes from this direction brother.

Kirk
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:06am PT
I just can't think of words other than to say how sorry I am.
McCfly

climber
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:06am PT
Made me cry a bit..

Must hurt like a bitch.

Sorry again.
T Hocking

Trad climber
Redding, Ca
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:07am PT
Sorry for your loss,
Tad
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
Jun 18, 2013 - 10:15am PT
Moving story Apogee, and so familiar to me. Dredges up the loss from my past pooches. Safe to say in my life they have been the very best of it -those noble critters that accept you unconditionally. But now down the road the tears have been replaced with a warm feeling and smile when i think back to the countless times with them. Ill ALWAYS have a dog beside me. There are more on this planet in need of a partner. I only regret i cant afford to take them all. Cuz i would... Sorry for your feelings of pain and loss this am.
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 18, 2013 - 01:05pm PT
'A Dog's Life'
Feb 14, 2013 - 10:50pm PT
drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson

“I don't know what I would do without the unconditional love from my dog Rosebud.”

I was awake early, and very quickly Maddie was with me, along with the tears. The ‘Dog’s Life’ thread has been the principal place I’ve written about what has happened with her since last fall, so I spent some time this morning archiving these writings for myself. There, I came across jefe’s post, and that wonderful face shot of his pup. Such a familiar face…I just lost it again.

Funny thing is, Maddie came to my home due to the need of another family member, and I was pretty dubious & skeptical about her for some time. Where would she sleep? How will this affect our ability to go places? Our yard is unfenced & open- how is that going to work?

It all did work out, just fine- she slept unobtrusively, we gladly took her everywhere we could, and for some incredible reason, she would rarely wander from the yard. Most significantly, though, I fell deeply in love with her gentle, sweet spirit, and simple desire to just want to be with you.

I’m feeling at a great loss this morning, and not sure how productive I will be at work today. Everywhere around me are bits of Maddie: where she slept, her collar, her food bowls, the medications, the impression near the garden in the sun where she loved to lay, her picture on the fridge….I keep expecting to hear the ‘click click’ of her nails on the floor as she made her regular inquisitive rounds, just making sure of where I was. Anytime she moved in the house, the jangling sound of the tag on her collar let me know where she was- as I clutch it in my hands, that sound now speaks to me as if it were her own voice.

My god, this is hard. I can’t believe an animal has struck me as deeply as just about any human love relationship has ever done. The sorrow is different, though- much more pure, without the reflections of a failed relationship. I just can’t stop crying.
Cragman

Trad climber
June Lake, California....via the Damascus Road
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 01:15pm PT
Credit: Cragman


Credit: Cragman


Credit: Cragman


Credit: Cragman
Gobi

Trad climber
Orange CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 01:35pm PT
Credit: Gobi

Brandy
Brandy
Credit: Gobi

Had to put my dog Brandy down a year ago. A sad day...
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
Jun 18, 2013 - 01:37pm PT
I still go out to see the "hazel- trail" Apogee, and shes been gone two years. Im feeling for you my friend. I go to the hills or drive by spots that i hunted with Hershey and Bailey and always think of them. Now i have Sally-O who got the habit of instantly licking her left "arm" after getting a tasty snack,, JUST as her "sis" Hazel-ray did. I think on them often. One is never the same as before, but a new GLORIOUS-NESS. In time you should look for that new family member. Cuz each on of em deserves those that cry when they are gone. After my first, i swore "never again. Which lasted only a few months. Jut be good to yourself right now...And if crying helps,, you should.
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 01:40pm PT
Very sorry to hear the news, Apogee. The bonds between our pets and us -- particularly between loyal and affectionate pets and us -- make these times almost as dark as losing a friend or family member. The day after I had surgery to repair my ruptured Achilles tendon, my dear, loyal and most affectionate cat(!) died at the foot of my bed. We've had several cats over the years, but this one was particularly special, and we still miss him a year-and-a-half later.

Your description of your last time together really moved me. You have my best wishes, thoughts and prayers, my friend.

John
weezy

climber
Jun 18, 2013 - 01:57pm PT
sending good vibes to apogee. sorry about your loyal friend.
dirt claud

Social climber
san diego,ca
Jun 18, 2013 - 02:28pm PT
Sorry you have to see her go to the other side Apogee. I'm sure you both have brought much joy to each others lives here. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Edit: Sally O is a kick ass dog Ron. Was a pleasure to meet you and your pals at the shop a couple weeks ago!!
ag.Fox

Trad climber
Reno, NV
Jun 18, 2013 - 02:29pm PT
So very sorry to hear of your good friend's passing. Ron's sentiments are right on. Dogs teach us to live in the moment and love unconditionally. A good friend told me once "I strive every day to be the human my dog thinks I am". I hope you find Maddie in all the places she loved to go.

Brown Sugar; Rottie/Aussie Sheppard @ Hunter's Creek
Brown Sugar; Rottie/Aussie Sheppard @ Hunter's Creek
Credit: ag.Fox
My 12yo girl passed six weeks ago - still miss her every day. Her buddy Max looks for her whenever we go to the places she loved the most. Gotta think he senses her presence, I sure do some times.

Bless you Apogee,
Jon
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
Jun 18, 2013 - 03:16pm PT
Sorry for YOUR loss Afox...


And DirtClaud,, the pleasure was all ours,, Sally-O and "max" included! Your and your wife are a NICE couple o Folk!
skywalker

climber
Jun 18, 2013 - 04:24pm PT
OMG Apogee,

So sorry. Your story truly brought a tear to my eye. I remember the week that things looked bleak. My wife and I were trying to come up with names for our daughter. Mine was Mia, my wife's was Maya. When I came out of the vets office into the lobby I was a mess. I saw a huge shaggy dog across the lobby and gave it a BIG hug. I asked the owner her name. She said Maya. We now have a beautiful 4 yr old daughter named Maya.

S...
phylp

Trad climber
Millbrae, CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 04:24pm PT
I'm so sorry for your loss, Apogee.
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 18, 2013 - 04:48pm PT
When I was at the vet's office yesterday, there was a guy with a large Samoyed who was obviously having hip problems- the big guy couldn't stand, and the owner was clearly as distraught as I was. I immediately teared up.

I plan on having another dog, perhaps sooner rather than later. Maddie's decline & eventual death has been on my radar for some time now, and I really like having 'life' in the house. I have come to really appreciate the Rat Terrier breed, esp. the mid-large ones. They are smart, and most have a mellow temperament.

My sister has been saying I need to get a puppy for months now (not directly related to Maddie), yet others say not to move too quickly. I get that, and would be very careful about an 'impulse buy', as I fully embrace the responsibility that goes along with dog ownership.

I'm likely to seek a young-ish adult, preferably female, medium size...a rescue dog, for sure. There are several Rat Terrier rescue groups out there, though most of the adoptions seem to be hundreds of miles away. I'd really like to be able to meet the dog and spend some time before committing. Not sure how to make that happen, though.
nature

climber
Boulder, CO
Jun 18, 2013 - 04:56pm PT
A few days before I put Ms. Summit down I had her at an emergency vet. This family came in with a golden that was there to be let go of. As I was sitting he sort of wandered over to me to say hello and goodbye. the family sort of tried to stop him but I said, no, please... it's ok and I told him he was a good boy.

I can't even write this w/o tearing up....

Credit: nature


Dean posted the poem that I was going to post (Steve posted it to Ms. Summits thread). Thanks for that, Dean...
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:01pm PT
Hi Apogee,

I couldn't agree more that Rat Terriers are the best. I've had Monty for almost 15 years now and he has been a great dog. Especially well behaved quiet and very smart.

There's a wonderful rescue group called Rat Bone Terriers, there out of Florida, but they adopt all over the country. Their descriptions are especially good so you can tell what you're getting. They also help transport animals from one state to another to make an adoptions possible. Definitely check out their website, when you're ready.

Monty's health is been especially good, but I know that like it or not he's aging like mad. His hearing is shot, his vision still seems to be pretty good. I refer to him as having a little doggieheimer's.

Monty
Monty
Credit: Park Rat
Young Monty 2002


Monty at 14
Monty at 14
Credit: Park Rat

Monty at Christmas 2012
Norton

Social climber
the Wastelands
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:11pm PT
All dogs go to heaven

they play together all day, eat, nap and play some more

they have private Chew Offs

and they are waiting for us to get there to take the rawhides out of their mouths......
tradmanclimbs

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:23pm PT
Sending you light.
Cragman

Trad climber
June Lake, California....via the Damascus Road
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 08:26pm PT
Virtually all dogs go to heaven.



Cats go wherever the hell they like.
Cragman

Trad climber
June Lake, California....via the Damascus Road
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2013 - 08:33pm PT
They make us laugh.....and cry.....

Credit: Cragman
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 18, 2013 - 08:56pm PT
Monty looks awesome!

What a great face...he looks like an intelligent, happy gentleman.

Maddie actually came to my family via Ratbone Rescues...she was found wandering the streets of Austin with a belly full of puppies. I've been monitoring them lately, as well as a similar rescue group, 'New Rattitude'. Actually, they have had more offerings lately...I put a query in today on a Rattie from GA.

I made a shopping run today, on the usual errands where Maddie always accompanied me. Everywhere I go, there are memories of our time in that place. One of my favorites: from the backseat of my truck, she would stand on her hind legs, leaning on the center console. When I turned to the left, she'd lift her right paw & support herself on the passenger seat. Right turn, vice-versa. I'd look at her when she'd do this, and she'd look back at me like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I miss her so dearly.
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:18pm PT
Apogee,

Monty has been with me almost as long as I've been a widow. I used to tell him he had to live forever.

I described him as being my constant companion. When I'm not home he snuggles up with our cat Meme there buddies, except when the cat is in a bad mood, then she bites him and runs like hell.

He then howls and runs to me to protect him. He is very sensitive, he would like to be a decorator in his next life. He wouldn't consider chewing up his stuff toys, he just carries them around.

A couple of years ago he started coming to me and whining to tell me that the phone was ringing when I couldn't hear. If I was in the shower or vacuuming he would come and get me. He taught himself this trick I never did a thing.

I dread losing him, I cry at the very thought of it happening.
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jun 18, 2013 - 09:38pm PT
hey there say, apogee... oh my, i am late, again, for to wish someone well...

very sad to hear this... will sure keep you in prayers and may the best love of your furry-buddy, be sweet, through the tears, :( and may that give you some smiles, knowing that you got to HAVE that dog-time, in the first place, and keep cherishing, that...

god bless...
Peter Haan

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:19pm PT
NATURE AND SUMMIT MEET AGAIN


nature

climber
Boulder, CO
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:27pm PT
makes my tear up every time I see that. thank you Peter.
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:31pm PT
WOW Peter...!
JOEY.F

Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:41pm PT
So tough Apogee, my condolences.
Peter,
Wow.
Charlie D.

Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
Jun 18, 2013 - 11:49pm PT
Tough duty Apogee, our beasts are family as they make everyday a special one....take care.
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 19, 2013 - 01:06am PT
Maddie's favorite place in the house on a winter's evening.
Maddie's favorite place in the house on a winter's evening.
Credit: apogee

Maddie supervising my work during the building of the addition on our ...
Maddie supervising my work during the building of the addition on our home.
Credit: apogee

Maddie inspecting the framing material for the new addition, and not t...
Maddie inspecting the framing material for the new addition, and not too crazy about being so far off of the deck.
Credit: apogee

Maddie experiencing a bout of 'Old Dog Vestibular Syndrome', which cau...
Maddie experiencing a bout of 'Old Dog Vestibular Syndrome', which caused her world to spin around uncontrollably for about 24 hours. Very pukey time for her.
Credit: apogee

Maddie's favorite sunshiney place to lie near the garden. This is wher...
Maddie's favorite sunshiney place to lie near the garden. This is where her ashes will be spread.
Credit: apogee

My sweet girl & I.
My sweet girl & I.
Credit: apogee

I miss you, Maddie. So very, very much.
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 19, 2013 - 11:57am PT
Right now, it's the loss & change in daily routine that is really hard to deal with. I'm kinda boring that way, I guess, but routines & patterns create a sense of stability & safety for me, and Maddie's presence each day created that comforting routine with the bonus of a sense of companionship and unqualified love.

As the day begins, I usually head to the kitchen to start the brew, and walk past Maddie in her bed, saying 'good morning, little dog'. If it was cool, or she looked cold, I'd tuck her in and she'd usually snuggle deeper and go back to sleep for a little while. With brew in hand, I'd usually sit in the doorway or on the front porch- this change in my location always spurred her to follow, and she'd walk out into a sunny spot, turn sideways to maximize exposure, and glance around squinty-eyed. After this, it was breakfast time- in recent months, this meant preparing her soft meal, and giving her meds to her by hand, and the tactile licking of the food from my fingers.

When the workday was in swing, she'd alternate between standing in the front yard just surveying the world, napping near the garden, or I'd hear the 'click click' of her nails as she walked back into the house to change napping locations (sometimes panting 'cause she was overheated). Occasionally, the 'click click' as she walked past my office, just confirming my location.

So simple. This was typical, daily life for both of us. When in the midst of daily, boring routine, one often rebels and rants against it, but when it changes or is lost, it becomes so dear. I think I've come to realize this as I've matured, and it helps to keep the ranting feeling in better perspective.

There were so many little routines in our lives together. Seeing them happen each day created a tremendous feeling of familiarity and comfort. Not having them there just feels so empty.
eKat

Mountain climber
Less than a second shy of 49 minutes
Jun 19, 2013 - 12:08pm PT
I'm with ya, Ap. . . the abrupt changes are hard.

Skadi crossed the Rainbow Bridge back in 2009 and I'm still not completely over losing her.

It took about a year to stop finding her sticks out in the woods. One time, I looked down and found one of her little booties from when she had a cancerous growth on her foot. She tore off into the woods and bit that sucker til it fell off and came limping home with a smirk on her face!

:-)

One of the biggest changes around here, since she left, has been the huge number of beasts that come to visit. Obviously, she did a killer job keeping them away; fox, bear, elk, white tail. . . and turkeys. . . lots and lots of turkeys

photo not found
Missing photo ID#307532

All I ever knew about the turkeys, while she was here, was that she'd find their slime and roll in it. . . and bring it back to me. . . SO PROUD.

I even miss having to bathe her in the freezing cold hose from the well water. . . she will always be with me.

Kisses to you.

May time bring you peace!

Kath
goatboy smellz

climber
Nederland-GulfBreeze
Jun 19, 2013 - 01:15pm PT
Stay strong apogee.
Laredo feels your pain, his Mom may have to go in soon.


Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Jun 20, 2013 - 04:31pm PT
Apogee,

The Pictures of Maddie are great you will be so happy to have them in the future.

I was wondering if you would thought of fostering for one of the rat Terrier rescues.

I've been thinking about doing it, you get to have the company of it new dog and if you bond with it you take it off the rescue list. The best of both worlds if you think about it.

I'm sure you can choose a dog that would be close to what you would actually one anyway. It's just a thought I thought I'd run past you.

Hope you're doing okay, I know it's tough.
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 20, 2013 - 04:47pm PT
PR, I'm doing ok. It's the break in the daily routines, and my instinctual response to having Maddie around that's been the hardest to deal with.

While working, my computer screen has a slight reflection of the outside window behind me. On occasion, I’d see Maddie in that reflection as she surveyed the world from our front yard. Instinctually, it would make me turn around to make sure she was ok.

While washing dishes after lunch, she would usually trot inside and into the kitchen, wondering what I’m doing and hoping for her regular treat.

As I prepare to go run errands, I instinctually look around for Maddie to bring her with me. I grab my car keys, knowing that the jingle of them always signaled to Maddie that it was time to go for a ride.

When she couldn’t go with me, upon my arrival at the front door there’s the impulsive expectation that she’ll come wagging up to me as I open the front door.

At the end of the day, when work, chores & projects are done, I go to sit on the patio with a beer and a bowl of peanuts. Maddie always follows me, patiently & politely waiting for a few to drop her way.

Each instinctual reaction is followed by a jolt of hard reality- that she’s not there anymore.
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 20, 2013 - 04:55pm PT
I'm currently actively looking into another Rat Terrier via a rescue group. Matter of fact, I've identified a good candidate, submitted an application, and had a discussion with their adoption coordinator and the pup's foster mom.

I'm a little self-conscious that this rapid turnaround might appear to somehow demean Maddie's importance in my life- nothing could be further from the truth. Maddie will always been one of most special, impactful animals that ever came into my life, and nothing will replace her.

She was diagnosed last fall, and she outlived her prognosis, but her decline was inevitable. Knowing this, and that I dearly love having another life in my home & life, I've lurked occasionally on Rat Terrier rescue group sites...I've noticed that certain profiles of dogs tend to move quickly. The pup I've spotted fits that profile, so I'm moving on it rapidly- the pup needs a home, and I have a big hole in my heart & home to fill. There was a quote from Henri Cartier-Bresson that I came across this morning that speaks to this perfectly:

"When the fruit is ripe, you have to pluck it. Quick! With no indulgence over yourself, but daring."

Wish us luck. I'll probably follow this up on the 'Dog's Life' thread.
nature

climber
Boulder, CO
Jun 20, 2013 - 05:08pm PT
She would want you to have another one to love. There's more than enough room in our hearts for another.

I know the somehow and somewhere Ms. Summit waits for me to find another so she can finally release me.
Park Rat

Social climber
CA, UT,CT,FL
Jun 20, 2013 - 05:09pm PT
Apogee,

Trust me, I really understand how you're feeling,

I've been there several times unfortunately.

No one will ever replace Maddie, I agreed that if you can find the right dog you will start to feel a lot less pain.

There are so many great rat Terriers waiting for a loving forever home.

I'll be waiting to see your new baby.
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
Jun 20, 2013 - 05:15pm PT
I've posted my condolences on the 'Dogs Life' thread, but I'll add this;

When Lincoln, the best, smartest dog of all time turned five, I adopted a second dog. My logic was that the older dog will help me teach the younger how things work.

There were some hiccups, but it mostly worked.

Tioga is a hellion, a purebred yellow lab (first and last time I'll have a purebred). But, he is a really good dog, just wired for hyperactivity.

Lincoln is a lab mix, sharp as a tack and absolutely my best friend.

As Link slows down, Ty steps up to the plate to show Link things.

It's been a huge circle, full of love and frustration just like any relationship, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

These days, Link is nine and Ty is four. Link pretends that he doesn't like Ty, but I know better. When we are out hiking, they are inseparable, even if they are a quarter mile up the trail from me.

It pains me to see Link getting arthritic, but he is happy with his younger counterpart.

Dogs are special.
can't say

Social climber
Pasadena CA
Jun 20, 2013 - 05:28pm PT
I still see Walter out of the corner of my eye, lounging in his favorite places. It's such a singularly intense form of loss. When we lose a human friend or family member, there are others who also loved them and much easier, IMO, to share in the grieving. But our dogs create a bond that no one else gets to share and so too the loss.

Very rarely do they out live us and so it's something we sign on for when we allow them to adopt us, knowing they will pass before us. It doesn't make losing them any easier though.

Great pictures Apogee
saa

climber
not much of a
Jun 20, 2013 - 06:00pm PT
I hope this is not inappropriate.... My pups are
one pure Joshua Tree Humane Society and one pure Brittany
border of the road. If any of you would like a new friend,
I d like to do a little advertising for The Joshua Tree H S.

After 2 years looking, i found 12 pups there ( 2 litters)... And well,
Pups look at you, you say yes.
His first night in Hidden Valley was a bit rough. It rained! Pup Darwin
did not know tent, winds, rain, climbers fire. He then did a little tour:
Red rocks, arches, moab, indian creek, yos of course (dogs cańt sleep
In C4 but Pinky wasnt there in December). Then many other places.
Then Air France : New York to Paris ( no fun!)

He s almost 2 years now and very lively. Food preference: French although
Hamburgers and meatloaf are ok.

So if you swing by Josh, check the shelter.
They have nice dogs, and other animals.
As i said, perhaps a little advertising that s inappropriate. But
If some of you might find love there as i did. Why not?

Pixies: Facebook, Darwin Noûn Doaré Airieau
apogee

climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Jun 26, 2013 - 01:26pm PT
I picked up my girl yesterday, and drove her home.

Credit: apogee

She'll be close by, always, in the sunny garden where she loved to lay and warm her belly.

I love you, Maddie.
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
Jun 26, 2013 - 01:32pm PT
Credit: Ron Anderson



Credit: Ron Anderson


Hazel-Ray and Hershey are showing Maddie the Grasslands and woods right now.
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Jun 26, 2013 - 03:01pm PT
And more friends to meet beautiful Maddie....She'll be takin' to the beach with my girl. I love the plaster paw print. Wish I had one of those.

Bunk and her ashes
Bunk and her ashes
Credit: SCseagoat

I'm coming up on three years in July. It still breaks my heart.

Lots of love to you and Maddie


Susan
Levy

Big Wall climber
So Cal
Jun 26, 2013 - 03:15pm PT
Losing a pet is never an easy thing. I too have an elderly dog at home who is nearing the end of her run, she's going to be 18 in October if she makes it that long. I got all weepy eyed just looking at all those wonderful canine companions & hearing their owners stories of love & loss.

Hang in there & remember the good times you shared with your buddy. Maddy will be with my beloved Jake soon, who passed away suddenly last year. I still get sad over his loss over a year ago.

Pat - I remember Walter as being a great dog. Sorry to hear of his passing but I am glad to hear that Nicky is still around. Be well.
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