I'm very sorry to hear of your despair and feeling of despondency. Knowing your situation and how you've been true to the one you love is a model for others, even tho' the schitt is currently hitting the fan in your world. MY thoughts are with you, for whatever that's worth. Even though we've not met, I call you my friend. I believe the Brits have a saying: Keep your pecker up! (And no, it doesn't have the meaning it would in the USA!)
I'm sending you and Jennie the best of vibes and hopes for a bright future. I honor you for the love and devotion that you hold for Jennie, tho I know it is a difficult time for you both. Still, if you hold the courage that acquired/always had as a pioneering climber, your courage will see you through the maze of difficulties that you now face, and you'll emerge successfully from this difficult situation, much as you successfully emerged at the summits of so many of your pioneering efforts. As we all know, "Just because it's never been done before is no reason to think that we cannot do it." I look forward to hearing about more of your successes!
Patrick, I only know you from what I read on Supertopo. I have continually been amazed at your devotion and steadfast support of your partner. You are a strong man, and have done much, much more than most would have done. In no way are you a failure. I am sending you good vibes and much respect from across the world. Hang in there.