OT I need good vibes, I need help OT

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Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 4, 2013 - 06:01pm PT
Roger (never climbed with you but hung out around the campfire with you in C4), Neebee, Gian, Big Mike, Jebus, Moosedrool, John E, Gary

We all have to hang together, by the campfire is better than a half-split goldline.
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
Apr 4, 2013 - 06:03pm PT
That would be rad dude! I guess you probably can't make it over for facelift. That would be really cool.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Apr 4, 2013 - 06:08pm PT
Chin up, lad, you know it has to get better. Tis a sad thing that those
Republicans have all become bloody bureaucrats now. But that's the way it
went in Chicago too. Money and a soft cushy job co-opt most. I could make
a couple of calls to my firm in St Jame's Gate if you'd like. ;-)
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 4, 2013 - 07:17pm PT
Jennie is best in care, I have failed.

She does not deserve to be in care for the rest of her life, she turns 62 next Tuesday, that is young nowadays.

However, I have to think of the common good. What is best for her and what is best for me. If i fall ill, the only care she will have is State care.

The weather has finally turned to Spring.

"Let's go up to the quarry, you can watch me free solo and boulder and you can get out of the prison you feel you are in".

"No, it is too cold". Good heavens, she lived in Toronto for three years (exhibition business) and Sweden (her late husband, English, 1990 death, had a hotel and nightclub) for three years. She knows cold and yet she is a wimp to Irish cold and she is Irish.

Go figure.

Tip: do not let your father molest and abuse you when you are five.
Edge

Trad climber
New Durham, NH
Apr 4, 2013 - 07:19pm PT
Patrick, I am sending positive energies your way. As bad as things may seem, you have the strength to carry on; know this. By asking here for help, you open up to receiving exactly what you need.

"Horror and anguish! Madness and despair!
Weltering in floods of fire, or pinioned fast
In ice, they see a leprous sky o'ercast
With gouts of blood, and suffering everywhere.
One torment worst: amidst the stench and glare,
Within the crystal mirror of the past, -
Mirror of Judgement, - they behold, aghast,
How their own deeds of blood have brought them there.
Yet hope still springs, ev'n in the black abyss.
Purging with flame, with water purifying,
The Smoke-Grey Buddha makes the darkness bright,
Shining a silver cloud. He tells them this:
That from hell's depth there runs, the past defying,
A fearful, narrow pathway to the Light."
Sangharakshita
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 4, 2013 - 07:26pm PT
Edge

Thank you. As with others who have responded, it gives me strength.

Many of us have difficulties. I would like to send my good vibes to them as well.

Cheers

Patrick
The Lisa

Trad climber
Da Bronx, NY
Apr 4, 2013 - 08:12pm PT
Patrick, sending good vibes to you and Jennie and Boots. My mother is 61 and that is not old at all, these days. I love your attitude.
I am from Co. Cork originally and while Ireland does not get cold per se, there is that penetrating damp that makes 1C feel much colder than it should be.
if you need a temp foster home for Boots let me know so I can contact some Dublin friends.
I love the lyrics you are developing, get those musical juices flowing :)
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Apr 5, 2013 - 12:10am PT
hey there say, the lisa!!!

man oh man, i love the ol supertopo... :)

this ol' quilt, folding itself up close, at times when there is
trouble... each square kind of giving each other support in some
ways, so that ONE square, won't get torn off and hurt,
or, have its lovely embroidery or ribbon, or design hurt...


say, helping that cat have a refuge if things have to change temporarily
for a time, gives one great peice of mind, :)
you are so wonderful to try to reach out some how...
(wow, did not you were from ireland)...


say, patrick, if you fear that full time care may come for jennie, if you
are not there... then, would it be better (or not) to
perhaps try to relocate for work purposes? another nearby town, etc,
or something...

or just get out and scout around? a temporary change, but as if a hunter
hunting for food for his family, and such?

if cat were cared for, and jennie in safe hands, you may be
able to work up a new plot for a new garden of freshness for you?
might take a little fixing the field and such, but
if there is no good soil in the plot you have now,
perhaps you need an open door?

you may have to drive around, on your own, first, to see said-light of
said-open door...

but change, sometimes brings that new life that one is waiting for...

not sure if this would be the advice you need, but it is better
than sinking down into the muck of a fields that has turned bad, with
no options of ways to work it to good???


there may the perfect answer, just over the hill, in another town?
you could get some fresh air and perhaps climb a bit,
but yeah--you'd be giving up a place to live, 'til you find
something right for you to work and settled back down with jennie...

but you WOULD FEEL LIKE you are getting to work for some answers
instead of feeling useless, :(


will be praying...
you could keep sending little notes or cards to make jennie happy, and
send good cheer, 'til you get settled...
mountainlion

Trad climber
California
Apr 5, 2013 - 02:32am PT
I'm sending you good vibes Patrick!! Remember that caring for someone means your a leader...you seem to be doing a pretty good job from your emails. Nothing in the world ever gets accomplished without other people NOTHING...asking for good vibes is totally cool. Your correct that the person most likely to turn around a bad situation is YOU but being a climber you are adept at thinking on your feet under pressure....GOOD LUCK!!!
Fletcher

Trad climber
The great state of advaita
Apr 5, 2013 - 02:59am PT
Lot's of souls pulling for you here, Patrick. You are not alone.

Please don't think you have failed. I don't think that can be further from the truth. Life is full of struggles and joys. Mere mortals can be tough and fight in extraordinary ways, but there are some things that are just beyond our greatest powers. What counts is that you are a kind, caring, and compassionate man, who is not afraid to be vulnerable and express himself. That is so very clear. As you allude, you need to take care of yourself first. If you run yourself into the ground, what help will that be to Jennie?

And yes, keep that cat!

Bless you, man. You are a good soul.

Peace,
Eric
Delhi Dog

climber
Good Question...
Apr 5, 2013 - 03:45am PT
^^
What the Fletch said!
Hang in there Patrick.
tonesfrommars

Trad climber
California
Apr 5, 2013 - 05:18am PT
More good vibrations from southern California. Wishing you guys good luck and smooth sailing.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 5, 2013 - 07:23am PT
Lisa, thanks. I have to get a tax certificate form (HPL1 form) stamped from the Revenue Commissioners. I called the Collector Generals in Limerick.

“We do not deal with those forms anymore. You have to go to your local Inspector of Taxes.”

“But it says on the form, which I have sent you ten days ago…”

“We do not deal with that anymore…”

“Okay, but you are not very helpful”, in my nicest voice.

Makes one think that in the civil service, the officious people gravitate towards the tax office.

Everybody else I have dealt with – the public nurse, the doctors, the hospitals, the carers, the local council, and all – have been friendly and helpful. But those mandarins in the Revenue Commissioners…

My late mother, a dentist, used to do her own taxes, never went to H&R Block, or anybody.

She never cheated, but she wasn’t the greatest at math (neither am I). She got audited by the IRS one year, and every year after until she retired. Once they have you on their radar, that’s it. (Apologies to any Taco Standers who may work for the IRS, but…)

IRS – Infernal Revenue Service – “Give us our TAKE, or else”
Revenue Commissioners – “We WANT your money”
Inland Revenue (HM Revenue and Customs), “Sir, the Queen NEEDS your dosh”
Ministère de l'Économie, des Finances et de l'Industrie – “Monsieur, without your taxes, we can’t buy our wine.”

Taxman: “Would you like a job working for us?”

“No thanks, I already have the Devil to pay.”
Rick A

climber
Boulder, Colorado
Apr 5, 2013 - 09:57am PT
Patrick,

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”

“Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty.."

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

All from Winston Churchill, who carried on despite pretty dire circumstances.

Hoping for the best for you and your wife.

Rick




survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
Apr 5, 2013 - 10:16am PT
It helps if you think of rocks....


Credit: survival



And kittens.
Credit: survival
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
Apr 5, 2013 - 10:48am PT
I'm sending my good vibes your way. It's always tough to get hit with three or more bad things in a row. One or two you can deal with. But when the bad news keeps stacking up you just have to keep plugging away. Things will sort themselves out eventually in one or two areas and you'll be able to deal with what's left. Best of luck to you.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 5, 2013 - 04:24pm PT
I know that Jennie's medical condition is not going to get better, unless there is some sort of miracle cure. The best it is stabilized.

She had a 'meltdown' this evening.

I do not want to be the one to put a human into long-term care, to commit them. That is a power I do not want.

I did not come to Ireland for this. But this is the situation I find myself in. I do not want to tell the authorities that I cannot cope.

They all say I have been doing a wonderful job. Yeah, how come she had a meltdown this evening?

It is the nature of the beast, her medical condition.

I try and calm her, get her into bed. But how long can this continue?

I am near wit's end. They talk about respite for both of us.

In the short-term that may be an 'answer'.

But in the long-term...


EDIT

Manzamita Man, I played your numbers this evening, some of them, as the Irish Lotto and the EuroMillions both do not take the eight numbers you supplied me, but I mixed them up. Fingers crossed.

If we win with your numbers, even-steven.
Patrick Sawyer

climber
Originally California now Ireland
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 5, 2013 - 04:34pm PT
Survival, you are a naughty boy. If you are a Catholic, go and say confession. Hah hah.

If not, shame on you, for shamelessly showing two kittens in an, uh,uh, uh... I do not have the words to match.

On a more serious note, I do not know what is the best course of action. Should I throw the towel in and have the woman I love committed, or should I stick it out? It is taking a toll on my health.

You think leading a 5.11 runout is tough? I used to think so. Until now.
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
Apr 5, 2013 - 04:37pm PT
Take a break Pat. Short term at least. You will figure it out.
manzanita man

Social climber
somerset, ca.
Apr 5, 2013 - 10:47pm PT
hey patrick, if you win, its all for you. good luck on your future. sometimes you just got to suck it up and climb on. take care.
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