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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 16, 2013 - 07:49pm PT
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You must forgive the unfettered audacity of the inventive mind -- which I possess in abundance and madness -- but eons ago I invented some unique climbing devices that never found their way into the marketplace for various reasons. One was a combination ascender-rapeller, the other a self-belaying system to allow any climber of any degree of skill to solo climb without fear of taking a screamer. I invented the combination device in 1979 and the solo-belay system in 1993. I named the solo-belay system "Solo-Dare", and filed the patent application accordingly.
My timing was just not right as what I confronted when I approached all the main players in the climbing equipment arena is that they were all moving away from high liability ideas, and my devices were seen as potentially of high liability.
So just as dozens of my inventions spanning several fields have been banished to my mildewed filing cabinets, those two climbing devices most likely shall never see the light of day again. Most prolific inventors understand this as very little of our unique ideas ever come to market. But the intellectual rush is in knowing nobody but you came up with the concept.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
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Mar 16, 2013 - 07:52pm PT
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you invented a device
that stripps the self-belayed climber
of any fear or regret?
i will begin praying to you tonight,
once im exhausted of my abundant sin.
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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2013 - 07:53pm PT
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Funny response!! Love to swill a few brewskies with you!!
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
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Mar 16, 2013 - 07:57pm PT
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im a big fan of the silent partner,
though i most emphatically harbor fear
when im driving and she's braking.
beers. they are readily consumed without trepidation.
who invented the fearlessly-swilled beer?
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Prod
Trad climber
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:02pm PT
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According to Czech legend, deity Radegast, god of hospitality, invented beer.
Prod.
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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2013 - 08:05pm PT
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The only problem with a silent partner (in and out of bed) is the lack of that very twisted and morbid sense of humor that flows so freely with the flood of adrenalin.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:06pm PT
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It's never let me down so to speak...
Now. JVM, If you ever need beta testers....
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:07pm PT
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i named my daughter annapurna,
after the goddess of substance;
the provider of harvest.
i didn't realize that i was
assigning her such an exaggerated expectation;
i merely threw a monumental hissy-fit
when my wife won the name-the-child coin toss.
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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2013 - 08:08pm PT
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Damn, Norwegian, you's a poet and don't know it!!
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:14pm PT
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I am with eKat; make this real
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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2013 - 08:17pm PT
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Wish I could post it, but I abandoned the application when all the manufacturers turned me down. If you know the "game" then you know that you begin the patent process to acquire "patent pending" status then you start trolling for interest hopefully via NDAs. I got nowhere after the NDA level because my Solo-Dare system was seen as potentially of high liability because it promoted solo climbing which the industry does not want to promote.
A wise general knows when to retreat. Now I invent in arenas where liability is not a major concern, like the plumbing industry, CO2 sequestration, automotive security systems, and so on.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:21pm PT
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Open Source.
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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2013 - 08:26pm PT
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When one knows that his/her idea/concept/invention is never going to make it into the marketplace then one can choose to bury the idea out of ego, or one can "gift" it to the Universe. I will now gift my Solo-Dare to the climbing world right here on this website.
Picture hydraulic-activated camming devices linked together via ultra-lightweight cable with the "master cylinder" on your harness.
That's the only crumb I will give you. There's a lot more to the system, a lot more versatility, but if you've got an inventive mind you should be able to deduce a fair picture of the system.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:37pm PT
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Beer was a byproduct of the construction of the pyramids, but coz needs to get into the fish tale spirit if he wants somebody to buy him a brew. lol
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:38pm PT
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Where the heck have you been, Prod?????
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:39pm PT
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god already claimed your patent.
i have a hydraulic-actuated master cylinder,
it lives right near my tie in point.
it rearranges stars.
it is impartial to solo travel
or engagement with a partner.
no disrespect.
im sure that you're a smart cookie.
you are just way f*#king bizarre,
like most of us here.
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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2013 - 08:40pm PT
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Rush to judgement, Coz? You've no doubt availed yourself of some of my inventions and you don't even know it. Ever used a chainsaw? I invented a safety device for chainsaws in 1972 when you probably didn't even know what a chainsaw is. Do you use modern plumbing? Well, I'm currently in negotiations with the #1 plumbing products manufacturer in the US to begin production on a sewage device that most likely will protect you someday from poop invading your home. My oldest son is taking the charge to get my retro-fit fit-all anti-carjack security device to market, a device you might someday have on your car. Need I go on? Don't be so cynical.
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:45pm PT
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this thread's weird.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Mar 16, 2013 - 08:48pm PT
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Super weird.
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Jeffrey VanMiddlebrook
Boulder climber
Mountain View, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2013 - 08:49pm PT
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Belmont, as in SF Bay Area? Methinks an old friend of mine -- Greg Schaffer -- was co-owner of the Belmont Climbing Gym. I know he asked me once about some engineering issues on that building when it was under construction. He also was partners in Planet Granite and Rockzilla, but I think he divested himself of all climbing gyms investments.
Haven't seen Greg since 2007 when we went to a HAI pool party at a Woodside estate. Still in constant contact with his twin brother Jeffrey, the well-known hiking guide author and maverick geologist.
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