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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Original Post - Feb 21, 2013 - 01:12pm PT
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This is usually good for a few funny responses. Did a search and couldn't find a thread, so here goes! If I missed a previous thread, my bad.
*Your gear is worth more then your car (Or in my case, more then 3 of mine)
*When someone mentions crack, you are thinking Indian Creek, not drugs
*You wonder what the rock facade of your office building goes at
*You can't understand why people don't know what cams or stoppers are
*You choose your honeymoon based on what climbing is available
*Your car is covered in dig-me stickers (I have been told this is a good way to alert LEOs to the presence of marijuana in your vehicle)
Don't take this one too seriously and have fun!
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Feb 21, 2013 - 01:13pm PT
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The fact that I even bother to read the junk on this site is evidence enough.
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Todd Eastman
climber
Bellingham, WA
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Feb 21, 2013 - 01:20pm PT
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... that you actually go climbing rather than post at the Taco...
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Levy
Big Wall climber
So Cal
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Feb 21, 2013 - 01:22pm PT
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You plan climbing trips with more care & forethought than events with your family or significant other.
You lie or fib about if you went climbing. " ..but I have not climbed for weeks,you gotta let me go"
You avoid visits to places that offer no climbing. " I am not going to Kansas to visit your sister unless we stop in Boulder on the way."
You choose places to visit if they offer some climbing. "So your aunt lives in Bend, Oregon? Let's go visit her sometime."
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Michelle
Social climber
Toshi's Station, picking up power converters.
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Feb 21, 2013 - 01:33pm PT
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You're getting a hip replacement, rather than tolerate the pain, so you can climb again.
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kingpin
climber
methdeathsto ca
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Feb 21, 2013 - 01:40pm PT
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You can't walk past a crack in a sidewalk or wall without wondering what size stopper or cam would fit it.
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Spanky
Social climber
boulder co
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Feb 21, 2013 - 01:46pm PT
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1. everything is your house is messy except your climbing gear
2. you use the word splitter in everyday conversation
3. The following sentence makes sense
I was totally runout over a number 4 rp and I was getting pumped so I gunned it for the chains but I didn't make it and took the whipper.
4. it seems like fun to poop in a plastic bag for several days
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
the crowd MUST BE MOCKED...Mocked I tell you.
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Feb 21, 2013 - 01:48pm PT
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These aren't jokes people. They are facts of life.
lol!
You buy your vehicle type solely because you know you will need 4x4 to get to some of the best climbing you have done in your life!
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matty
Trad climber
under the sea
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Feb 21, 2013 - 02:28pm PT
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pretty simple...
you're addicted if you constantly think about it even if you are trying to do something else.
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
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Feb 21, 2013 - 02:34pm PT
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No matter what you are explaining about to someone; business, your love life, your family, politics, thought processes, you Always use a climbing metaphor.
Edit: "It's like when your standing at the crux and you have to make the decision to take the time to put in a good piece or just move past it"
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Feb 21, 2013 - 02:38pm PT
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1. everything is your house is messy except your climbing gear
I resemble that remark!
You have a magazine with a fold-out picture of the Salathe Wall on the left, and a fold-out of an exceedingly sexually attractive person [is this inclusive enough for the politically correct?] on the right, and you can't take your eyes off the picture on the left.
Well, maybe that just means you've gotten old.
John
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Feb 21, 2013 - 02:50pm PT
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The clinking of racking gear....ah...well.... It just makes you "sweaty"
Susan
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
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Feb 21, 2013 - 02:50pm PT
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fornicating with your wife,
you match hands for the transition
into the rowdy-cowboy-lasso-the-orgasm-mode,
always maintaining
one point of paw contact.
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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Feb 21, 2013 - 02:55pm PT
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Your non climbing significant other can sling gear beta with the best.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2013 - 02:57pm PT
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Good stuff so far! A few more:
*You get a new ledge, and test it out by hanging it off your 3rd floor balcony and have lunch on it with your S.O. (My neighbors actually loved this)
*You are overdue for new glasses and buy a new set of offsets instead
*Your office decorations are all climbing related
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Chaz
Trad climber
greater Boss Angeles area
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Feb 21, 2013 - 02:58pm PT
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Do you ever climb alone?
Do you ever climb before noon?
Do you ever climb during the week?
Has work ever interfered with your climbing?
Do you feel powerless to stop?
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2013 - 04:59pm PT
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Uh oh, post shrinkage!
Those were good posts, too :(
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snowhazed
Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
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Feb 21, 2013 - 05:26pm PT
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Climbing is one thing. What about BINGE climbing????
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Anastasia
climber
Home
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Feb 21, 2013 - 05:32pm PT
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You discuss better ways to hang up a stove. You bought climbing shoes for your son before he was even born. You got married because she owns a really nice rack, and it isn't boobs.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2013 - 06:52pm PT
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You got married because she owns a really nice rack, and it isn't boobs.
Made me flashback to one of my climbing partners who was a dancer at Crazy Horse and..Vegasized..
Wasn't thinking and honestly, innocently asked if I could hang my nuts on her rack (I didn't need them that pitch)
Facepalm....
Good posts so far!
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Alexey
climber
climber, San Jose, CA
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Feb 21, 2013 - 07:01pm PT
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it was a good tread about climbing dreams, but I can not find it.
Anyway, climbing dreams is important symptom of addiction
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Roots
Mountain climber
SoCal
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Feb 21, 2013 - 07:06pm PT
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You walk off some sufferfest and swear you're DONE! Done climbing forever...get back home, take a shower and start thinking about the next trip...
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Feb 21, 2013 - 07:38pm PT
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You are going to spend the next 6 months living like a vagrant to chase the cold weather, which just so happens to be in the meth-ier areas. oh, and you skipped out on college/good relationships/security so you can fail on routes that were put up before you were born.
yup, I'm looking kinda dumb these days : /
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Feb 21, 2013 - 07:38pm PT
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choosing gas money over groceries... I like that one particularly.
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Feb 21, 2013 - 08:15pm PT
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if you must know what route is being pantomimed by that monkey across the lot.
... and your companion languishes while you approach for confirmation,
thereafter bearing witness to a sumo session of beta exchange
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Crackslayer
Trad climber
Eldo
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Feb 21, 2013 - 08:15pm PT
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Dumb thread. Like being on a climbing forum isn't evidence enough that you are addicted to climbing.
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Feb 21, 2013 - 08:17pm PT
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LEB....
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 22, 2013 - 12:33am PT
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Hmmmm...I call bullspit, Dingus. Lol.
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surfstar
climber
Santa Barbara, CA
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Feb 22, 2013 - 01:57am PT
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This is your brain on climbing
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TomCochrane
Trad climber
Santa Cruz Mountains and Monterey Bay
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Feb 22, 2013 - 02:21am PT
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you get together with a fantastic new girl friend, and the first thing your friends all ask her is whether she likes to rock climb (if the answer is 'no', they roll their eyes knowingly)
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Wen
Trad climber
Bend, OR
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Feb 22, 2013 - 02:30am PT
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You hang your Xmas stockings with offset nuts.
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BooYah
Social climber
Ely, Nv
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Feb 22, 2013 - 02:54am PT
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Shut up & tie in. On belay, you poor bastard.
Tell me it ain't ever so.
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Feb 22, 2013 - 04:21am PT
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You literally just stepped off a plane from a killer road trip, aren't even home yet, and want to go back already.
Your significant other gives you sh!t because you spend more time posting to your live trip report than replying to her love notes on Facebook.............................
Fvck....
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Feb 22, 2013 - 10:04am PT
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Addicted is not even close to describe what I got. Doc says I'm terminal.
Here is an example. I got married on Beacon Rock. Dragged my kids to the top to witness it. The guy that married us was a climber and my close friends that are all climbers were there too. Got married in a kilt... of course!
But what my wife and partner in climb didn't know, was that she was marrying the rock.
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TimH
Trad climber
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Feb 22, 2013 - 10:27am PT
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Your non-climbing significant other has spent so much time sitting at the base of various crags that she can give out route beta.
You can't walk past a stone building without scoping out lines.
You take the stairs in a high-rise just to train for your next trip.
You owm more pairs of climbing shoes than regular shoes.
You see a special on PBS about Dick Schockley...and are upset when it doesn't have any climbing.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Feb 22, 2013 - 11:23am PT
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Here's the one that made me laugh the loudest:
"Oh, and you skipped out on college/good relationships/security so you can fail on routes that were put up before you were born."
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Which just goes to show, we can all be addicts, but still not be that good!
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this just in
climber
north fork
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Feb 22, 2013 - 12:19pm PT
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Your significant other gives you sh!t because you spend more time posting to your live trip report than replying to her love notes on Facebook.............................
Busted.
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Feb 22, 2013 - 02:21pm PT
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Your wedding invitation includes "wear comfortable shoes" and allows people to rappel in for the ceremony or bring your clients.
You plan your wedding to occur late in the day so that you can get a full day of climbing in.
You go climbing before your wedding.
Your chef is a climbing partner and takes a week's lodging at the site in return for cooking for your reception.
Your entertainment for the reception is one of your favortie climbing guides.
Your honeymoon is a climbing trip.
You plan a big adventure while you are pregnant in case child rearing may impinge upon future trips.
You send your kids to overnight summer camp so you can continue to take trips.
You no longer have painted finger nails - too much upkeep.
You keep your climbing gear in your car year round just in case you can climb.
Your baby shouts the beta for routes at your home crag.
You have "granite" climbing shoes, edging shoes, comfy shoes, approach shoes, under 5.10 shoes, gym climbing shoes, more climbing shoes than Imelda Marcos has shoes.
You have guide books to areas you have never visited.
You have 5 guidebooks to the same area because there might be different routes or different beta in them.
You remember life events based on a climbing timeline. My mom entered the hospital with terminal cancer while I was in Yosemite and on the day that the rockfall on Glacier Point killed a man on the Apron.
You can reel off the technical specifications for aliens versus mater cams, but you have no idea how to use the latest techno gizmo your nephew has.
You plan family reunions to justify climbing trips.
Your list of signs that you may be addicted to climbing is longer than mine.
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Feb 22, 2013 - 03:08pm PT
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Busted.
Yup. And done. I'm over it. Not climbing of course!!
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 22, 2013 - 03:21pm PT
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NICE one Seamstress!
I resemble many of those (not the child birthing ones of course) but I had to laugh at the wedding ones. (We are getting married in Zion.)
I can just see Plaid in that picture saying "Hang on a minute, Im'a update my status on Facebook and the Taco...."
Great lists! Love the posts so far.
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this just in
climber
north fork
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Feb 22, 2013 - 03:44pm PT
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Out of all the things to get in trouble for in Vegas, it's supertopo. Yup addicted. I give my girl sh#t for being on facebook, she gets me for being on "Super Facebook" AKA the taco.
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Snowmassguy
Trad climber
Calirado
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Feb 22, 2013 - 05:37pm PT
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The stack of toilet literature in your bathroom is 100% climbing related.
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Feb 22, 2013 - 06:41pm PT
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Live Tr's are my thing! Ya I'm addicted but come on... Tired of being the bad guy...
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Alexey
climber
San Jose, CA
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Feb 22, 2013 - 07:04pm PT
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I remember the story - someone climbed Rostrum in the morning before 4 pm his own wedding at the Chappell in the Valley.
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Roots
Mountain climber
SoCal
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Feb 22, 2013 - 07:52pm PT
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Thought of this on the way home from work yesterday:
Convincing the soon to be wife that seeing how we climb, we don't want traditional metal wedding bands....
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Feb 22, 2013 - 08:39pm PT
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I climbed Black Lung at Cathedral Ledge the day of my wedding - barely had time to shower before the 4:00 PM ceremony at Cathedral Roof.
I led RecomBeast for the first time on my first Anniversary.
For Christmas, my husband gave me 20 quickdraws AND he was not in any trouble for that gift choice.
We take climbing gear on on ski vacation to Whistler in case we get good weather.
I let my father sleep in and set him up with a green fees to golf so I could sneak away for a climb on a family trip to Yosemite.
You have a 25 year collection of climbing magazines - all the rags - and have not been able to toss a single one.
Go on a business trip to Tuscon and elect not to join the boys for all expenses paid golfing - go climbing instead.
Stop to get in a couple of pitches before picking up family at the airport - you might not be able to climb for days!!
Your office is decorated with extreme ironing and pictures of men climbing (mountaineering) in dresses.
You treat your rope with more respect than your "delicate" laundry.
Have hands that look 90 years old.
Wear pants or opaque hosiery to hide bruises from the weekend's exploits.
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harryhotdog
Social climber
north vancouver, B.C.
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Feb 23, 2013 - 12:42am PT
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You sneek out of the house a 6am to get your wife a fancy coffee. You bring it back, hand it to her when she's half asleep and tell her then that you are going climbing with Big Mike and will be back early knowing full well that yesterday when it was raining was your official climbing day. You then feel confident that everything is ok because she gave you a big smile even though she was asleep. Then it's off to climb and deal with the repercussions later.
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MisterE
Social climber
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Feb 23, 2013 - 12:56am PT
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When you start looking for cams smaller than the #00 TCU.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Feb 23, 2013 - 01:00am PT
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Sure sign of major addiction.....you find yourself spending less and less time posting on ST, you know it's wrong, but, damn, you can't help yourself.
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ladyscarlett
Trad climber
SF Bay Area, California
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Feb 23, 2013 - 01:13am PT
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When my friends see me after a weekend and tell me
"Yeahhh! You musta gone gone climbing and gotten really high up!
Cause you NEVER glow like THAT after a good sex weekend!"
HAHAHAHA
I dunno, I argue that I'm safely within the bounds of infatuation...
so THERE!
hehehe
cheers
LS
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| Messages 1 - 53 of total 53 in this topic |
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SuperTopo on the Web
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big wall sleeping bag
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