Anyone want to buy an 80% complete PhD dissertation (OT)?

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Messages 21 - 40 of total 77 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Srbphoto

climber
Kennewick wa
Feb 5, 2013 - 08:47pm PT
No thanks,




I've already worked for Starbucks
klk

Trad climber
cali
Feb 5, 2013 - 08:53pm PT
suck it up, cupcake.


btw, this advice:

"The only thing a thesis has to be is done."

is clearly discipline specific. my advisor would smack any student who referred to the "dissertation." "You are writing a book," N used to say.

Fortunately, wes in the natural sciences, and it sounds like you folks pretty much just mail it in.

heh
eeyonkee

Trad climber
Golden, CO
Feb 5, 2013 - 09:23pm PT
i'd like to see your 70% complete for 25% percent less than the 80% asking price (respectfully).
mechrist

Gym climber
South of Heaven
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 5, 2013 - 09:57pm PT
Wow, this is easier than I thought. I already have 10 pages. Should be done by Friday... but I'm climbing tomorrow and Sat... so first thing Monday.
Curt

climber
Gold Canyon, AZ
Feb 5, 2013 - 10:08pm PT
Anyone want to buy an 80% complete PhD dissertation?

Well, then I'd only have to rewrite 80% of one.

Curt
mechrist

Gym climber
South of Heaven
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 5, 2013 - 10:15pm PT
Totally worth it Curt... trust me.
Jan

Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
Feb 5, 2013 - 10:16pm PT
Do you have a formal dissertation / thesis defense?

If you do, then it has to at least be sufficiently obscure that you can defend it with a straight face.
You know the old maxim, "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with BS".
mechrist

Gym climber
South of Heaven
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 5, 2013 - 10:57pm PT
Exit talk, but no formal defense. The QE's were the most intense (required) grillings I got.
Jan

Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
Feb 5, 2013 - 11:34pm PT
So all you have to do is come up with the right number of pages and explain it in some way that makes sense. You can do that.

mechrist

Gym climber
South of Heaven
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 6, 2013 - 12:12am PT
Thanks. You guys are swell.

I'm up to 106 double spaced pages without figures. About 15 more to go before I turn in the first draft. Hopefully that will do it.
Jan

Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
Feb 6, 2013 - 12:15am PT
You can get away with a hundred page dissertation?

Three hundred is the minimum in most social sciences.

See how easy you have it?
mechrist

Gym climber
South of Heaven
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 6, 2013 - 12:22am PT
"I didn't have time to write a short [dissertation], so I wrote a long one instead." -Mark Twain
Delhi Dog

climber
Good Question...
Feb 6, 2013 - 01:02am PT
I found a buyer!!!

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/02/06/world/europe/german-minister-plagiarism/index.html?hpt=hp_t3
rgold

Trad climber
Poughkeepsie, NY
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:22am PT
My dissertation is 79 pages total. Not an unusual length for mathmematics. Title: Geometric Realization of Homotopy Systems. There is plenty in there, believe me. Think density as opposed to volume.

Years ago while driving around the country, I stayed for a day or two in a Cistercian Abbey in France. The sisters belong to an order of nuns who have taken a vow of silence, except for participation in religious ceremonies. They farm, and partially support themselves by taking guests. A few sisters are given dispensation to speak so that the guests can be accommodated, which included serving breakfast and dinner. As you can imagine, it is a very quiet place, with little to do for a guest except perhaps talk (in subdued tones) to the other guests at meals. Surprisingly, I found out that there was always a full complement of guests (there was no room for me, but they allowed me to pitch a tent). Why so many guests? The place was full of grad students who came to escape the distractions of their normal environments in order to write their dissertations.
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:28am PT
I think mine was a couple of hundred pages when all was in it...
...probably have a copy around here somewhere, don't remember the exact title of that but I submitted a Physical Review Letters manuscript about a month or so after completing it which boiled the 200 odd pages down to 4...


"Inclusive Production of Ω- and Ω̅ + by KL0-Carbon Interactions in the Energy Range 80-280 GeV/c"
http://prl.aps.org/abstract/PRL/v54/i7/p628_1

DonC

climber
CA
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:32am PT
I was in the lab one day and a friends draft dissertation (not yet submitted) was sitting on a table. His major professor walks in, see's it, picks it up and hefts it up and down a few times like he is weighing it. He said "it's getting there".

TwistedCrank

climber
Dingleberry Gulch, Ideeho
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:42am PT
Mine was 175 pages and four distinct chapters (earth science). The four chapters gave me opportunities to grind down the committee by cycling though review and update cycles. Finally they just gave up and I won. I published two chapters and gave up on geophysics as a career because there are so many other interesting things to do out there.

My goal was to go field work in the Andes, which I did. Had a picture on the cover of GSA journal to boot. I've got the galley proof in a frame somewhere.

Credit: TwistedCrank
Some Random Guy

climber
San Franpsycho (a.k.a. a token of my extreme)
Feb 6, 2013 - 09:26am PT
when i was in grad school a girl i knew had her prof delete her whole work. he called her into his office and made her bring her laptop that had her dissertation on it. he proceeded to call it all a piece of sh#t and then deleted the whole thing off her computer right in front of her. told her to start all over again. f*#kin' dick!

she was a smart girl too.
gonzo chemist

climber
Fort Collins, CO
Feb 6, 2013 - 10:11am PT
Mechrist,

knuckle-down and finish it.

I believe it was Winston Churchill who said, "if you're going through hell...keep going."



Roxy

Trad climber
CA Central Coast
Feb 6, 2013 - 11:13am PT

The only way off a wall is up, right?

So the only way out of PhD program is to punch out that dissertation.

Don't bail now bro, summit is within view.




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