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Messages 241 - 260 of total 302 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 6, 2013 - 04:25am PT
Wish I had my computer's portable back-up hard drive with me here in San Diego. 1,000's of pics of sh#t on there that could forever alter your pespective on obsure, mysto, off-the-beaten-path areas. Every single photo I've posted in this thread was nicked from the 'net. I mean, f*#k."secet Spots?" Yeah, maybe if you've never used a cell phone or a laptop before.

If I had my hard drive, I could start a motherf*#king American Climbing Legend Revolution, Godammit! In praise of hard-to-find, hard-to-get there, undoumented crazy-ass off-teh-grid rocks located in the most spectacular locales in the lower 48.

Black Diamond, Wild Country, La Sortiva, Patagonia, Metolius, Arctyrex, Eddie Bauer, Sears and Roebuck, North Face, Albertsons and Safeway and Whole Foods, the "I DO! I DO! sex-toy lingerie shop in Flagstaff...they'd all have to start rebranding completely from scratch and spend gazillions developing and launching new Ad campaigns for the cutting-edge Wayne Couny obsuranita hipster bouldering demographic, imported from Williamsburg!

Then they'd have to move OR from the Salt Palace to the NAU sky dome, that'd be fun! How many chossaholics can you fit on a pinhead, uh, I mean keyboard?!
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 6, 2013 - 06:05pm PT
Unless the StoopidDopo group consensus is that this thead has become a massive, boring waste of precious time and a deplorable bandwidth-sucking black hole of blatant self-aggrandizing nonsense and choss-worshop, a bone-crushing expose of never-seen-before Wayne County sw0leness is in the works. It's all up to WesChrist and his motherf*#king video stash.

What say ye, fellow has-been never-was losers and chump scramblerz?!? Yea or Nay?

Not that I care what you think.
Relic

Social climber
Vancouver, BC
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:34pm PT
Lurkering hard here, keep err comin.

I'd love to check out the sw0le but I think it would explode my Honda Fit to bits.
MisterE

Social climber
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:38pm PT
You need to get the fuk back to Flag and get that hard drive.

That's my final answer.

:)
crunch

Social climber
CO
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:50pm PT
A load of Bull

Credit: crunch

I've always been so engrossed in the fun and frolic of playing on the choss that I just drive right by this kind of stuff with nary a second glance....

EDIT: Yes, those "shrubs" are big-ass trees
crunch

Social climber
CO
Feb 6, 2013 - 09:01pm PT
Yeah, baby
Yeah, baby
Credit: crunch
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 7, 2013 - 03:18am PT
See? See?! This is what I'm talkin' about. I know good and goddamn well that NOBODY is giving this thread so much as a token glance. It's a wallflower thread, that pimple-faced n00b monument to awkward social invisibility.I slave day and deep into the wee hours attempting to fashion this extraordinarly deranged, depraved, bamboozled, hornswaggled, butttknckled and just plain unbalanced topic into something of value. Wadda I get in return? Some wierd looks, a few trully bizarre PMs, banner ads for Hungarian mail-order brides, come-ons for OCD San Diego psychiatrists, and bulk Viagra offers with Bolivian mail-order return adresses.

For example, the following remark, the essence of Absurdum In Extrema when it come to Dick and I, was allowed to pass with nary a single snort, an off-the-cuff snarky comment, a cutting put-down or reality check, nuthin, Nada:

When it comes to subtle self-depriciation, understated elegance, effortless finishing school manners, inconspicuous class, jaw-dropping climbing technique, exquisite taste in boulders, proper grooming, and raw animal magnetism with the fairer sex, you'll find no two finer exemplars then the American Legend and his early mentor, the Master Cylinder

OK, so maybe you rockclimbing.com refuges have grown soft, lazy, and addicted to thread-drama inolving guns, boobs, and YouTube videos of cats. So be it, as it may.

Me? Im keeping it real in Wayne County, where we don't preen, swagger, shout "Allez!" in our sleep or otherwize flex nuts. Cause we ain't got nuts, most of us were accidentally gelded by our drunk fathers when they mistook us for colts. But what the f*#k...we got the stones, bra! Bring your fart-stick digiridoos, we make the pioneer campfire musics with Blood Beat and Dread, and Marcus Garvey's secret dry-rub rib recipe of special herbs' n' spices for the Mutton Ribs Mon! I-tal down to da final Chakra, mon. We can crash at Haile Selassie's place, it be de bomb mon! Hemp fiber throws rgs, Mon. Splif and titties and boulders and sheep, mon!! Jah Waynesafari!



The all-volunteer Scumbag Taskforce TEAM DEADLY 2013 exploratory expeditionary team -- code named Satan's God Squad -- is is full motherf*#king effect, launcing in sw0le drive and heading out on the next Wayne County Reconaissance mission in the tricked-out heat-seeking 1956 Chevy Bel-Air epicmobile! V14 deathballs, here we come! Join the movemont, Mon! I and I give tanks and praises!!

Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Feb 7, 2013 - 10:42am PT
Let not handwringing divert thee from thy appointed path Pilgrim!
Nobody's getting in their cars over this stuff, okay maybe a few of us, but in general this is just serving as eye candy.

Besides, my pussy hurts and I believe this is the antidote.
Is it just me? Or does this thread needs more pictures ...
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2013 - 03:32pm PT
NEWS FLASH!

The evil-ex Jocelyn has located my back-up hard drive and is mailing it to me. Prepare yourselves for a Wayne County PHOTO ASSAULT that will rock rhe masses, realign Chakras on an interstellar scope, and, well, compel the Supertopians of the planet to get sw0le, pack their rigs, and bust all known speeds records in the quest for plim-pickin' Wayne County first-scent GLORY! THIS IS IT! Chossaholics, get into therapy now 'cause you're gonna need it!

w00t w00t
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 12, 2013 - 03:26pm PT
Oh HELL YEAH BABY, it ain't over till I SAY it's over. Wayne County Muthafukkas, straight pimpin' at 7500 feet, 40 miles out on a bad 4X4 road with a ragweed blunt in one hand, bottle of Macallan 12 in the other, steering with the knees while scanning 7.5 topos and blasting AC/DC turned up to 11. It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.



goatboy smellz

climber
Nederland-GulfBreeze
Feb 12, 2013 - 05:37pm PT
FKNA!
Elcapinyoazz

Social climber
Joshua Tree
Feb 12, 2013 - 05:58pm PT
Me on some moderate short crack line at the mouth of Capitol Gorge, almost directly across from the road fromt the classic handcrack. CapReefNP, Winter 99/00

ddriver

Trad climber
SLC, UT
Feb 12, 2013 - 06:16pm PT
Wish I had my ... followed by a bunch of OP bullshit


Well, we'll be here.
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 12, 2013 - 07:29pm PT
You hurt my feelings.
scuffy b

climber
heading slowly NNW
Feb 12, 2013 - 07:33pm PT
post away, Legend.
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Feb 12, 2013 - 07:39pm PT
Wayne County Muthafukkas, straight pimpin' at 7500 feet, 40 miles out on a bad 4X4 road with a ragweed blunt in one hand, bottle of Macallan 12 in the other, steering with the knees while scanning 7.5 topos and blasting AC/DC turned up to 11. It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

Another killer vignette by BVB.
You're classic dude.

MORE!
Bread

Trad climber
Craggy Mountains, NC
Feb 12, 2013 - 07:40pm PT
The Boulder Batholith
Southern Yosemite
Woodshun
Big Rocks

Solid Gold
guyman

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
Feb 12, 2013 - 07:53pm PT
Please please wip me more... I need IT
weezy

climber
Feb 12, 2013 - 10:18pm PT
MAKE SURE SHE BUBBLE WRAPS THAT HARD DRIVE!!!!

we can't be losing any historical records of obscure BFE crushfests

wayne county, son

get some
Fritz

Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
Feb 12, 2013 - 11:46pm PT
Bump for much work.

Sheridan Anderson cartoon of Bob, the pack-sheep and night-time compan...
Sheridan Anderson cartoon of Bob, the pack-sheep and night-time companion.
Credit: Fritz
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