The Tiny Little Rant Thread

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Edge

Trad climber
New Durham, NH
Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 8, 2013 - 07:05pm PT
Go ahead, share 'em if you got 'em.

1) Yesterday I went for my first annual physical in two years; I guess that makes it a biannual physical. After the preliminary height, weight, blood pressure, and history foreplay, the doc gives me a johnnie and tells me to strip down to my underwear and put it on. She excuses herself from the room to give me some privacy whilst I change. Now this is probably a good time to mention that my new doc is 15 years my junior, long golden hair, and drop dead gorgeous, so I'll gladly go anything she asks.

She re-enters the exam room after 45 seconds, has me drop my drawers to the floor, pulls aside the robe, and gives a thorough, two handed inspection of the region commonly under my belay loop had I been wearing a harness, which of course I was not at the time. Just about the time I am thinking she owes me some flowers and a box of chocolates, I get spun around and my prostate gets a probing that would make an alien abductor blush. I pass everything with flying colors, and in many ways its hard to hide my excitement.

So, first of all, if I passed the prostrate exam, does that make me a perfect a$$hole?

And second, given the nature of the impending exam, did she really need to leave the room so I could disrobe?

2) My 21 yo son has a girl "friend" home for the last 36 hours. Despite the fact I am home all day, I have seen the pleasant enough lass for a total of maybe 50 minutes. Sunday night I heard the two of them come into the house at 2:30 am, and the next time they leave his room is at 4 pm when they got dressed to go catch a sunset (it was cloudy, but they didn't know that) so that they could say they accomplished something that day.

Is this normally how one entertains "just a friend?" I guess I must have missed that class while off climbing.

3) And when did airline snacks start costing $8 for a box of assorted vacuum sealed pockets of air with maybe 20 cents worth of "savory" fiberboard?
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:09pm PT
f*#kin republicans.
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
And every fool knows, a dog needs a home, and...
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:10pm PT
1. She did not leave the room for your benefit, when you disrobed. Some people stink down there and its better safe (dissipated) than sorry (shot right in the face with a mushroom cloud stink bomb).
2. Yes.
3. About the same time Corporations were granted personhood. Enjoy the Empire, Citizen!

DMT
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:12pm PT
It's too cold to be working a chop and table saw outside all day this time of year.
Atlas gloves on, poor pencil marks for cuts. Gloves off, fingers freeze.
SicMic

climber
two miles from Eldorado
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:38pm PT
I won't comment on what seems very obvious. But if the kid asks you to buy condoms, try to stay out of the house after you deliver them.
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:44pm PT
I pass everything with flying colors, and in many ways its hard to hide my excrement.


Too much information! (hahah)
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:44pm PT
And second, given the nature of the impending exam, did she really need to leave the room so I could disrobe?

It's not a modesty thing. The switch to turn all the cameras on is in her office, not in the examination room.

2) Is this normally how one entertains "just a friend?"

Sounds like a pretty good idea to me.

3) And when did airline snacks start costing $8 for a box of assorted vacuum sealed pockets of air with maybe 20 cents worth of "savory" fiberboard?

Is that what they do in the back end of the airplane? Are you saying your climbing shoe sponsor and energy bar sponsors make you fly in Economy?
Da_Dweeb

climber
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:46pm PT
For sale, one pair of baby shoes, never worn.
locker

Social climber
state of Kumbaya...
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:49pm PT


Your Doctor sounds similar to mine...

But mine has HUGE hands and that is a bit of a problem when she does rectal exams...
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
And every fool knows, a dog needs a home, and...
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:50pm PT
^^^^

Fists of Fury!

Bwahahahahahaha.

DMT
healyje

Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
Jan 8, 2013 - 07:52pm PT
Is this normally how one entertains "just a friend?"

Well, it is NH so it depends, were either one of them wearing plaid?
Rolfr

Social climber
North Vancouver BC
Jan 8, 2013 - 08:33pm PT
I also have a female Doc. I asked her for a second opinion on my prostate exam, she inserted a second finger. Badda Bing!
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
And every fool knows, a dog needs a home, and...
Jan 8, 2013 - 08:36pm PT
Well it IS the digital age.

DMT
MisterE

Social climber
Jan 8, 2013 - 08:41pm PT
The Tiny Little Rant Thread

Meh.
okie

Trad climber
Jan 8, 2013 - 08:48pm PT
Did you study for your prostrate exam? Were you...um...prepared for it?

justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
Jan 8, 2013 - 10:45pm PT
F*#king History channel. Since when are "ancient aliens" "history"? My wellspring of useless but fascinating historical trivia has been completely obliterated by fat pawn guys.

PS: @OP At least you were probed by a hottie. Coulda been much worse.
TwistedCrank

climber
Dingleberry Gulch, Ideeho
Jan 8, 2013 - 11:21pm PT
I blame society.
tinker b

climber
the commonwealth
Jan 8, 2013 - 11:37pm PT
i wish that people would always let short people in front of them at live music. everyone would be able to see if we were all shortest to tallest.

and how many f-ing pictures do people need to take, don't people realize that holding their camera in the air taking a hundred drunken pictures is annoying.

and drunk women should not be allowed to wear spikes on the dance floor

thanks for giving me a little rant space
MisterE

Social climber
Jan 9, 2013 - 12:00am PT
Dr.F: Edge
You need to graduate to full on rant level
Go ahead, let it all out..

Yes, because that is such a pillar of informational wealth on this forum.

What a joke.
Da_Dweeb

climber
Jan 9, 2013 - 12:05am PT
I shall present a rant in haiku.

Climbers love poop jokes,
but climbers don't like ponies.
Perhaps pony poop?
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