OT: Is it just me or...


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Trad climber
East Coast US
Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 28, 2012 - 03:59pm PT
... does anyone else find this uncomfortable?

If everyone involved is good emotionally after such a tragedy, then more power to them. I'm just a different person and have never had a relationship that would allow me to pursue this situation. Well, maybe when I was an undergraduate after a night of binge drinking and my best friend's GF was hot and.... nevermind. 15 minutes of shame.

Trad climber
Las Vegas
Dec 28, 2012 - 04:21pm PT
Not at all !!!!
Patrick Sawyer

Originally California now Ireland
Dec 28, 2012 - 04:38pm PT
+1 ^^^
I thought it was an interesting video.

Trad climber
Dec 28, 2012 - 04:50pm PT
looks like interesting film.
I would rather not speculated about the implications of marrying one's best friend's wife. Should be a private thing IMHO.

If you want to think about survivor's guilt, I just watched a film "Primo", a one man stage enactment of Primo Levi's book "If This Is a Man". About surviving Auschwitz. In brief, it seems the real heroes didn't. Anyway, one of the most arresting films I've ever watched. Produced by the National Theater.

Boulder climber
Somewhere on 395
Dec 28, 2012 - 04:53pm PT
not sure what you are getting at, well actually I am, but I think this is a rehash of something that's been discussed many times. I think it's a personal matter that has obviously been resolved.

Trad climber
Dec 28, 2012 - 04:57pm PT

Boulder climber
Dec 28, 2012 - 05:14pm PT
swa this awhile ago, and I agree with OP

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Dec 28, 2012 - 05:28pm PT
I see no issue whatsoever. Especially when one lives an extreme lifestyle and families have been close there is a deep understanding of what drives a person. Jennifer wrote a beautiful book
Forget Me Not
. She clearly had a deep and profound love for Alex. There are not many partnerships that can endure the rigors of what each brought to the new union...yet they have flourished in honoring Alex's memory and progressing with their own family. Requires a maturity that many people just can't seem to bring to a relationship. To often we get stuck in me me me. I don't think it's been easy, especially being in the public eye, but a memory that is honored and lives that move forward...


Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Dec 28, 2012 - 06:50pm PT
I see no issue whatsoever

Just put yourself in the shoes of both of these men. Who BETTER to take care of your family than a treasured friend..

IMO....Ron Anderson is absolute right......

besides, it is a private matter..not our business..

ps..hey SCseagoat, do you still have the book, and can i borrow it?

edit:.Tami....Big.. thumbs-up.


Social climber
Dec 28, 2012 - 06:54pm PT
Not at all uncomfortable by what happened to them. Not at all uncomfortable Jennie wrote a book. Not at all uncomfortable in anyway Conrad deals with it. Wish them all the very, very best. May all their lives be long & wonderful!

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Dec 28, 2012 - 09:25pm PT
I don't find it uncomfortable at all. This is a lame thread.

Northern Mexico
Dec 28, 2012 - 10:10pm PT
An ex-co-worker of mine married his brothers wife(with 2 young kids) after watching him die in a motorcycle accident.

Noble, I'd say.

agreed Granite, this thread IS lame.

Trad climber
The rock doesn't care what I think
Dec 28, 2012 - 10:29pm PT
Maybe if you only deal with this as a sound bite and know little of the full lifetimes of details around it (not saying that I know anything of the relationships involved).

Doesn't bother me in the least.

I was going to mention the practice (more of a yesteryear thing likely) of a brother marrying his brother's widow and Grover just did note that. I think this may have happened quite a bit in the Civil War time (my only reference off the top of my head for that is the show Deadwood, though!).


two miles from Eldorado
Dec 28, 2012 - 11:01pm PT
Yeah, it's just you.

Dec 28, 2012 - 11:13pm PT
You are aware that Conrad posts here?

The presence of this thread makes me a lot more uncomfortable than the video, which doesn't at all.

Maybe you should consider shitcanning it.

Social climber
So Cal
Dec 28, 2012 - 11:16pm PT
Lookin' like it's just you...


Trad climber
Dec 29, 2012 - 12:12am PT
Salute to Conrad, he seems to me a noble man.

Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
Dec 29, 2012 - 01:28am PT
"Should be a private thing IMHO."


Trad climber
It ain't El Cap, Oregon
Dec 29, 2012 - 01:44am PT
I just didn't like seeing Alex being edited out. That was a bit creepy.

I knew Alex and climbed with him in Bozeman. Took a hike with him and the family not long before his accident. The hike served as a way to interview him for a Climbing magazine article that I never felt comfy doing after that.

A great guy. And one of the most born-to-climb guys I ever knew. It always amazed me to see him throw a 60#-plus pack on his shoulders and take off with those wire-thin legs of his at a pace that I couldn't match with a daypack.

Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
Dec 29, 2012 - 02:30am PT
Is it just me, or does anyone else think this thread is unbelievably inappropriate and should be deleted as soon as possible.

Trad climber
It ain't El Cap, Oregon
Dec 29, 2012 - 02:36am PT
Don't usually like seeing threads deleted since it is a form of censorship but agree with Joseph on this one.

Dec 29, 2012 - 02:52am PT
seems kinda childish and covetous to feel "uncomfortable" about this kind of situation. unless you are hanging on to some ancient "my woman = my property" sort of morality, or a sophmore in the throes of a tragic breakup. maybe gunkie is just trying out his new Fisher Price Internet Trolling Kit he got for xmas.

Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
Dec 29, 2012 - 03:05am PT
I'm really sorry this thread didn't focus on the wonderful work of Conrad's climbing school and workshops for Sherpas which has saved countless Sherpa lives. The Sherpas themselves are certainly cognizant of the decline in fatalities thanks to knowing some mountaineering technique now.

I also know a lot about the guilt of the survivor. It's endemic to everyone who shares a pursuit at which someone else who was more skilled than they, dies, and they are left alive.

And then there's the issue of remarriage. How is it that people who support gay marriage frown at widow remarriage? As an anthropologist I can tell you that many societies including the Hebrew Old Testament, mandate marrying a brother's widow. That's why it's called the levirate. Many other warrior societies like the Plains Indians had such agreements between ceremonial brothers as well. Then there are the agricultural societies like India and China that mandated life long widowhood even for teenage widows. Which do you think brought about greater human happiness and productivity?
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
Dec 29, 2012 - 08:14am PT
I was on an expedition where half of our six-man team was killed. I had survivor's guilt for 3 decades. I thought that the other survivors hated me.

Then I met the other survivors 30 years later - and one of the widows, and his 30 year-old daughter who was in utero at the time of his death. The warm reception that I received was very healing, and I realize now that I had nothing to do with the accident.

I wish that I had known about survivor's guilt 30 years ago.

Dec 29, 2012 - 08:32am PT
Hey, lets judge other peoples life choices on an anonymous internet forum, it's great fun!
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