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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 10, 2012 - 11:05pm PT
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It's amazing what we take for granted.
There's a terrible, bullshit song about paving a paradise for a parking lot. You know, you usually hear it in elevators and at Albertsons.
It seems like we can never know what we have until its gone, and we adjust to life without.
I've learned that life is both incredibly simple and infinitely complex. Everything flows to a pattern, each day is fresh and new and each evening dark, cold and full of questions - endless questions filling your head as it lays against a lonely pillow.
There's more room in the bed now, and the cat seems to understand it is his spot. There are our things everywhere, right where we left them. They sit idle, no future just a past that their likeness scream silently as you walk by.
Things come and go, and just as the night has questions they are forgotten by the soft glow of sunrise. Each morning I'm reminded that there never was an answer, things just are. Life laps up onto shore and recedes again, endlessly over and over. For some reason we are the only species pushing against the tide and begging for it to come back again, when we need only ebb and move with it.
I keep hoping that by devoting myself wholly to climbing answers will reveal themselves. I guess I learned that some things aren't meant to be - that there will always be something] slipping through your fingers. Or someone.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm climbing rocks or banging my head against them.
Oh well. There's always tomorrow, and it may not be a sunny day but that doesn't matter because life is a full spectrum, and parts of it are so wonderful that losing them can be this terrible.
I think that's a good thing.
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Captain...or Skully
climber
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:09pm PT
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Huh?
And BTW, don't be dissin' Joni Mitchell.
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Fletcher
Trad climber
The rock doesn't care what I think
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:31pm PT
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Climbing is but one path to discovery. Self discovery as well as other kinds. Climbing is a good path, no doubt. Just be careful out there... no need to check your knot when meditating (at least so far for me!).
Sometimes the darkness helps enhance our appreciation of the light. And if you really go deep, even the darkness itself.
Sounds like you are in a challenging and perhaps sorrowful time. I appreciate your reflections. See them for what they are and don't grasp onto them too tightly. You own them but hang on too tightly and they might become your ball and chain. Use them instead to build/create something new and beautiful. The cat is a good start.
Hope is born of struggle.
Peace to you brother.
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:34pm PT
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GDavis, Thoughtful post. Even if life is not going as you expected,
like you say, " There is always tomorrow."
There will be new people that walk beside you.
Wishing you well...... with the mystery of life.
Sending you this song, good music.. though the youtube uploader has lame visuals to go wtih the song.
Van Morrison...The Mystery
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHbFg1jUlaI
Give Joni another listen... She is the song writer of the song you hate......
Give this song a listen..
Joni Mitchell, Circle game.... and the seasons, they go round & round..
we're captured on a carousal of time.. We can't return, we can only look behind from where we came...
and go round and round in the circle game.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty,
Before the last revolving year is through.
Best wishes..
nita
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:38pm PT
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Did Greg eat some Peyote? I dunno...
I have no idea how to respond, let me have another drink. What is your f*#king point again?
And i like ya, Greg. Just puzzled...
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 11:39pm PT
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Thanks Fletch (can I call you Fletch? I know a Fletcher and he's Fletch to all of us). I really appreciate your insight - there absolutely is something inviting and fantastic about the night.
I don't really have 'friends' per say, more co-workers and climbing partners. I've made a habit out of being unattached to people, and attached to my own lifestyle. Oops.
It's weird that this is the avenue I felt to vomit out my thoughts and feelings - maybe something about Supertopo being a petri dish of society and a good reality check.
I dunno. I'm always too busy trying to get a reaction from people or make them laugh, to have any kind of serious discussion about life. Somehow, when I have a keyboard and my fat head reflecting in the monitor I can say what I feel, where there is no specific audience just the general void of the Taco Stand.
As far as the Cat goes, his name is Thor and he is awesome. But I don't own him, and he, too, will leave my life shortly :(
(sorry bluey, stone-cold sober. Seems to be all I am anymore : /)
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:40pm PT
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Thinking of you. It is never easy. :/
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Tom
Big Wall climber
San Luis Obispo CA
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:43pm PT
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Yes, it is important to learn how to let go. John Dill, of YOSAR, points out that there is an art to falling, so as to minimize the chance of injury.
So, when you've burned yourself out on a long, hard pitch, and can't make it to the belay, you use what you've learned, and you let go.
TFPU
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:50pm PT
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(sorry bluey, stone-cold sober. Seems to be all I am anymore : /)
Nothing to apologize for. More a badge of honor, actually!
Quit being a bitch and apologizing or surrendering for certain crap. Live life like you see it! And climbing isn't the be-all, end-all! Unless that is your inspiration.
Do what you feel is right for you! Try not to be a commie, but just do what what makes you happy and can support you financially.
Do not become a commie. I like you...
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 11:51pm PT
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A few months ago a friend went through a horrible break-up. Everyone chose sides, because things were said that couldn't be un-said, etc... everything was being painted black-and-white and facts and dates became the talking points amongst the circle of friends. I just remember feeling like a wonderful thing they had was gone and that it was just sad, not frustrating or angry but genuinely sad that two people I liked couldn't make it work.
It's so awesome when you enjoy doing something and your partner does, too... really hard to find those, ya know? Mebbe I should learn to enjoy Sex and the City and drinking Long Island Iced Tea (actually that sounds awesome!)
So, when you've burned yourself out on a long, hard pitch, and can't make it to the belay, you use what you've learned, and you let go.
funny enough...
Yesterday I was out at Joshua Tree trying (lol) to lead Rubicon, got to the crux and hoorah! A fixed stopper! If nothing else, aid climbing has taught me that fixed=BOMBER so I clipped it and gunned through the difficult section only to noob up and pump out placing gear in fingerjams. Looked down at the fixed stopper, pretended I was in a Gym, and yay! Enjoyable short swinger onto mystery metal.
So yeah, learning to fall is fun! I'm quite enjoying it, but I think next time I'll fix my own gear :)
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 11:52pm PT
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Haha thanks Bluey <3 I am a capitalist, to the day I die!!!!1
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 11:55pm PT
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Don't worry it was backed up :) just a bit 'o sarcasm...
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LilaBiene
Trad climber
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:56pm PT
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Don't know if this helps, but I'm right there with you. Don't be afraid to access the stuff that really hurts...it's in processing this muck that you heal and become stronger.
Many very wise folks have urged me to write. It helps to get the stuff out of your head and on to paper, where it holds less of an emotional charge. (Horrifying putting it all out there, but it's like jumping into frigid water, I suppose. The faster you take a running leap, the sooner you're back on dry land.)
My best advice (and I used it myself!) is to start a list of all of the things you've missed out on doing, have always dreamed of doing, etc. Write something or more things on it every day. (It is a nifty trick to fool your brain into switching gears and looking forward.) At some point, pick the things you really want to do and start making them happen. It feels great because you are living the life YOU want to live...
Hang in there & feel free to spill. ")
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Captain...or Skully
climber
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:56pm PT
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Good. You don't want to be dead. Or worse.
Just checking.
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graniteclimber
Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
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Dec 10, 2012 - 11:57pm PT
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Best post on Supertopo that I've read in weeks.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Dec 11, 2012 - 12:01am PT
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Greg, nice job on Rubicon!
When it comes to job future, think about your prospects for the future economy. For me, in the 90's, it was elec manufacturing. We saw that go to China...
Just think clearly about your future. Think.
Hey younger generation, you are only hope.
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 11, 2012 - 12:02am PT
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Or worse.
Married?
;D
Thanks for the advice, lila. Wasn't much I missed out on, though. Best year of my life, which I guess is a good thing. I'll always have those experiences and I guess some places will mean a bit more, which again seem like good things.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Sport climber
moving thru
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Dec 11, 2012 - 12:05am PT
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Wow, Locker, thanks for the post. Ekat sang and played this song on her splendicious guitar in Yellow Pine at the Facelift several years ago. At least I think this was the song. Jingy was there. Actually I think she sang it at Jingy's request.
Good soul thoughts, GDavis. Worthy of reflection.
Today was today. Tomorrow may be one that gives unexpected joys....or not. Sometimes life is such a gradual uphill to joy, peace and love that as you walk the path you don't even notice you've arrived until you run smack dab into it. Then sometimes a short burst places you in Joy's lap. But Life is and we are blessed to breathe. Smiles, Lynne
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John M
climber
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Dec 11, 2012 - 12:06am PT
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If you have netflix I think you need to watch a really crappy movie. 2012: Ice Age.
There isn't one single commie in it.
nor is there any good acting, script writing, directing, etc..
Its perfect for a night like this. Nothing will look bad after watching this movie.
or maybe everything will when you realize someone paid good money to make this thing.
as long as there are no commies in it, what could be bad about it. eh..
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