Edit for below...Hey Mouse, i sent you an email....
ps, they screwed that woman out of the prize...I probably would of said it the same way, like i was singing the verse....Sarah Palin totally pronounces all her words that way.
nita
I wonder, would you like a Firefall Postcard I found down here yesterday. it's in pretty good shape, considering it's a 1,400-foot fall, night after night, in burning embers. Considering it's free, and considering I don't have a mail address, send a p.m. if you want this trinket.
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree.
WHY A CHRISTMAS TREE IS BETTER THAN A MAN
1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
2. Even small ones give satisfaction.
3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on.
5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its 'sell by' date.
9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
10 Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman
10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
9. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
6. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
4. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
3. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
1. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.
(OK, I found these on a good website. Not that I condone christian ritual murder of trees.)
When Lena got off work up there at Lake Woebegone, somewhere between Saskatoon and Winnipeg, it was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to get home.
She sat in the car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.. She remembered Bill's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snowplough to come by and follow it. That way she would not have to worry about going off the road or getting stuck in a snow drift.
Sure enough, in a little while, a snowplough went by and she pulled out and began to follow it. As she followed along behind the snowplough, she felt quite comfortable and smug as they continued on their way and she was not having any problem with the blizzard or road conditions.
After some time had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snowplough stopped. The driver got out of the cab and came back to her car. He signalled her to roll down her window and asked if she was all right, as she had been following him for a long time.
Lena said she was fine and told him of her husband's advice to follow a plough when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied it was okay with him and that she could continue to follow him if she wanted, .... But he wanted her to know that he was done with the that parking lot and was going over to Canadian Tire next.
Let us know!