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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 7, 2012 - 05:33pm PT
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It's time for another one of these threads...this time for me.
A few months ago, I had a pretty scary experience, as some here may know. I had a grand mal seizure while jugging up the first pitch of New Dawn. It turned out that a medication I was taking, along with some other factors, was the culprit.
When I returned to the Valley a couple weeks later for Facelift, one of the first questions that a friend asked me was "So are you done, or what?"
The resounding answer then, and now, was NO. I haven't achieved my goals, and I love the mountains and being on the rock as I do few things in life. I tend to progress at a really slow pace...I have been climbing for 10 years now, and I am just now getting to the point where I feel that I have the tools and experience necessary to start working on walls. I don't want all that time to have an end result of not achieving my goal of climbing the Nose.
I got cleared to climb again a couple weeks ago. I admit that I have been cheating a bit, spending time climbing in the gym, but I haven't been outside at all.
The problem I am having is getting the desire to actually saddle up and head out to climb. I am a bit confused about it, because I am not scared to go climb. I know what fear is, and this isn't it. But I can't seem to get to the point of actually getting off my ass and hiking out to the crag. I was going to climb last weekend, but when Saturday morning dawned it was overcast, a bit windy and that's all it took to make me not want to go through the hassle of humping my gear out to Red Rock and getting vertical.
My friend Wendell often tells me that "You can find a thousand reasons not to lead a climb. The trick is, to find the one reason to go do it anyways."
I miss climbing, I miss being out with my friends for a day at the crag. I really dislike the fact that I have gained about 20 pounds the last few months from not getting out to even hike much. I try very hard to be very honest with myself, and I am usually pretty in touch with my mind and body. But right now I am just not figuring out what is going on.
If anyone would care to chime in on this, and share if you have hit a similar point, it would really be appreciated.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 7, 2012 - 05:51pm PT
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But...but....Locker, cmon man.... :(
Heheh. Thanks for the smile bro, needed that.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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They don't make twinkies anymore.
How much do you want to lose?
I'll match you, mofo.
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Mark Hudon
Trad climber
Hood River, OR
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I would suggest to get all your gear together and go out there with no intention of climbing at all. Grab your stuff, walk to the cliff, all the time thinking that you won't climb. Simply be happy being there in that beautiful spot, talking climbing to whoever is there. Maybe you can put on your harness and belay someone but don't climb!
See how that works!
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klk
Trad climber
cali
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quit stressing.
eat some bacon. have another beer.
clear out some extra room in the closet, make some room for your dignity.
heh
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LuckyPink
climber
the last bivy
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Mark H has an excellent suggestion. Don't worry too much about it BECAUSE it is the dark time of year. You are supposed to feel like drawing back in, hibernating so to speak, like the rest of the mammalian world.
Laze around sleep more, focus on love and sex and wait for it... it's gonna turn around just like always..Mayans notwithstanding.
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WBraun
climber
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Years ago my climbing partner left to get fat.
Months went by until he returned 30 pounds overweight.
LOL he wanted to get fat on purpose to see what it's like since he's never ever been fat.
I couldn't believe what I saw, hahaha
So he shows up fat and out of shape and tells me this being Fat business sucks and is stupid.
He then goes on this crazy ass climbing binge for 2 weeks straight and loses almost all of it.
Mind blower.
Go for it ... you can only lose what you want ..... :-)
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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Maybe it's still too soon after your traumatic/negative experience.
I have paused my climbing after similar negative events; it has always started up again.
Usually it takes me a couple of months before climbing seems like it would be fun again.
Something about how the recent negative memories fade and the older positive ones kick back in.
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rgold
Trad climber
Poughkeepsie, NY
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I agree with Clint. It can take quite a while to get over bad experiences. Your mind is telling you to lay off. You can try to force yourself, but my guess is that you won't have much fun.
The extra weight is not simply physical, I suspect it weighs on your mind as well---it would on mine. You know your performance level is going to be down just because of that blubber you're lugging along.
And, as just mentioned above, its winter anyway. I'd say focus on coming out of the gate strong in the spring and don't bother about getting out at all unless you genuinely feel the urge.
If you do go climbing, make sure to treat yourself to whatever you really feel like doing. Bouldering, short routes, half days, top-roping, long scrambles---make sure it is something your really want to do and not something you think you should be doing.
Start a conditioning program to lose the fat, do lots of gym climbing, pick a climbing goal for the Spring that is challenging but within the realm of possibility, and get on real rock until you really want to.
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Captain...or Skully
climber
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I tend towards negative reinforcement, so I'll pass on that aspect.
Just keep moving. Yes, it IS that important.
Get your ass up there. (see?) ;-)
Cheers, bro.
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ninjakait
Trad climber
a place where friction routes have velcro
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If you wait too long after a traumatic experience you might not start up again at all... Just sayin'.
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phylp
Trad climber
Millbrae, CA
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Like LP says, it's hibernation time. Bundle up, go for a walk. Something fun to do is to go on a "reconnaisance" hike - take the guidebook and go find the base of routes you might like to do some day.
Big hug, amigo.
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John M
climber
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Go cragging. Josh is perfect for that. Lots of one pitch climbs you can hang at the bottom with everyone. Find a group of people who will take you out with no commitment on your part other then to show up with your shoes and your harness. Then hang out. Its amazing how healing it can be just hanging out. Better be a warm day though. hanging out when it is butt cold sucks.. haha.
Then who knows. the urge might hit you and you will be right in the moment. The main thing is to get outside and around climbers.
I'm sure there are people on this forum who would let you head out with them with no commitment on your part.
zero chance of climbing while sitting on your couch
98 percent chance you will get on something if you are at least out there with the harness and shoes.
Thats not true of everyone. Sometimes physical stuff gets in the way along with the mental stuff. But if its mostly mental, then a big part of the battle is getting to the crag.
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John M
climber
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someone post up some Josh pictures. Include a few sunsets.
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Guck
Trad climber
Santa Barbara, CA
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You did not look that out of shape when we met a few weeks ago, and I doubt you piled up much lard since. You are in a vicious circle; "I am fat because I do not climb, and I do not climb because I am fat". That is leading to nowhere. All you need is to go on the rocks, do some easy stuff and the fire will come back. Take Cosmic on his favorite climb (birdland?) and enjoy the moment. By January, you will be chomping at the bit. Also think of Kilimanjaro and the need to get in shape. Cheers!!
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Fletcher
Trad climber
The rock doesn't care what I think
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Mark Hudon wrote:
I would suggest to get all your gear together and go out there with no intention of climbing at all. Grab your stuff, walk to the cliff, all the time thinking that you won't climb. Simply be happy being there in that beautiful spot, talking climbing to whoever is there. Maybe you can put on your harness and belay someone but don't climb!
I like this too. As others have said, you may still need more time to process your accident. So just be outside in some cool places. Carrying all your baggage and that will help you get fit. Be in the place, breath it in. That will help in itself.
Side note: the Latin word for military heavy baggage (I'm talking at least a Legion's worth) is called "impedimenta." From which we get impediment. Food for thought on the next big wall while hauling. Ha ha!
Mark's advice reminded me of a story I heard Peter Croft tell once: He had backpacked in a couple of days to some climb, but when he got there, for some reason, it wasn't the right time/circumstances to do the climb. So he came back out. But he said it was one of his most memorable and magical climbing experiences... a time where he didn't even touch the rock. It's about the journey. The climbing is part of that journey, but there's a lot more out there than just the activity in and of itself. For me, in a way, the climbing is a vehicle to be in some really cool places. Just the fact that you know where the places are and are able to haul your allegedly fat kishka there gives you access to experiences 99.3% of everyone else isn't even aware of.
Heal up and don't be too hard on yourself. The climbing will be there, in time. Don't waste now pining away for it... there are plenty of other edifying things to delight in right here, right now! You know what they are for you!
Cheers,
Eric
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dugillian
Trad climber
Vancouver
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You can do it!
I will be in Las Wages for a few days over New Years. If you want to cruise up a multi-pitch moderate I would be keen.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
the crowd MUST BE MOCKED...Mocked I tell you.
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Just get outside. Inspiration will be in the last place you look.
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JOEY.F
Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
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Getting back on the rock - need some inspiration.
Hey Vegas, you are one.
It'll go.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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if you're not ready, you're not ready...
take your time and heal up right, both body and soul...
you won't have any problem climbing once you're ready
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Hopefully you saw a top notch neurologist after your seizure? I ask because the term "Grand Mal" is antiquated, so if some doc diagnosed your event as such, well, you just never know.
A total seizure of the brain causing both convulsions and blacking out at the same time is a tonic / clonic seizure.
I have had a seizure disorder since 2007. It came as quite a surprise, not a pleasant one. I got back to climbing fairly quickly at first - I underwent a treatment and felt better. Then they came back worse, two years later, and I had to step away from everything for a while. Now I am okay but still taking a med to prevent seizures. There are a lot of these meds and finding the right one for me was a crux. Some of them really suck.
Anyway I hope you are well, but I also hope you have investigated the cause of your seizure as thoroughly as you can.
I used to think that one is only as good a climber as what you can do on demand right now (I think I said I was a cocky sob on another thread. True.) Now I understand that nobody can take away from you that which you have done. So just relax and go to the crags when you feel it. You'll be climbing again in no time.
Want to see some great ideas about weight loos? Check out Mark's Daily Apple. Google it, this is not a sales link.
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
bouldering
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I am not scared to go climb ... I've had alot of injuries/ comebacks. One thing that seems effective to me is finding an out-of-the-way area where there is no sceane - no numbers, and no established anything. You are free to start anew with your own ideas away from climbing mores and critisism.
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RP3
Big Wall climber
El Portal/Chapel Hill
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Go try it...start slow. I had a VERY near-death experience about a year ago on Keeler Needle. It changed my perspective on climbing and its role in my life. It took me a while to get back into the game. You are positioned in a spectacular place to slowly re-acclimatize to the vertical world. Go out with friends and family. Experience the glory of the hills and love the world you are in...
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 8, 2012 - 04:15am PT
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Thanks for all the replies everyone. Some really solid food for thought here, and it's very appreciated.
The climbing community never ceases to amaze me, this is part of why I love it. Berg heil.
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philo
Trad climber
Somewhere halfway over the rainbow
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There is more to getting back, or getting IT back than simply getting back out. This wasn't a sprained ankle. What you faced likely shook your confidence deeply. You have invisible scars still to heal. By "invisible" I mean no one but you can see and feel what injuries you carry with you. Stitches and crutches are obvious to everyone. Neural issues are different and no one else knows what you are facing. Internal anxiety is a tricky issue. For me being hit by lightning was a massive game changer. Not only was my neural system flash poached causing long term difficulties but afterwards the sheer weight of apprehension and anxiety I carried with me was like a crushing haul bag on my back. It took a great deal of time and patience for me to get to the place where a cloudy weather wouldn't just shut me down. Now after the most recent neural issues and multi layer cervical fusion I carry the extra weight of fear and anxiety again. Where before it had been fear of being restruck now it is concern that my body parts will suddenly fail me at the most inopportune moment. Through it all I continued to get out climbing because it was important to me. But it has been very different for me. Now as I pack my crag bag I understand that I am also packing invisible emotional ballast. Extra weight that no one can see but I can surely feel. My motivation has changed considerably. It's not about crushing a proj or a marathon day, it is about having fun with good friends in great places. One pitch, ten pitches or no pitches doesn't matter, as long as I haven't been lit up by lightning or fallen to death and destruction due to an arm or leg failure I see it as a successful and rewarding outing. These days I look at every single climbing experience no matter how seemingly insignificant or unproductive as a successful step in healing. And success builds upon success. Be good to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Take time for your self.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 10, 2012 - 12:43pm PT
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When I get to Vegas on Christmas you will be ready, willing, and in shape for the Hexpedition to Rehabituate, or CC and MFM will literally drag you to the rocks and beat you silly till you agree to lead the first pitch. It's tough love time if ever I heard it!
Be prepared to lead or stand the fuch by, VC.
In the future, minor things like seizures will be mellow. You're like that guy that the old purple people eater wouldn't eat because he was so tough.
So "Sing a boop boop aboopa lopa lum bam boom."
And eat something besides "solid food for thought," for heaven's sake. Twinkies are for Twinks and you ain't no Twink.* You're too ugly.
*Cute young thing with not much upstairs.
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Dec 10, 2012 - 01:22pm PT
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Hey Vegasclimber,
I took a pretty scary upside down fall this summer and rung my bell pretty good when I landed on it on a slab. No helmet, but I was ok, just a little shaken up. Obviously this doesn't even compare to your incident, but it took me a couple of days to get my head around going out again.
When I did I wasn't really motivated either but I jumped on an old easy favorite and by the time I reached the top of the pitch I was stoked again! I was still a bit shaky for a couple weeks on certain things after that but with each pitch I felt more comfortable.
Getting out with MFM and Cosmic will be good for you. Fun with friends and good times.. Something tells me a day with those two might be a bit of a laugh riot to boot ;)
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Dec 10, 2012 - 01:32pm PT
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Surround yourself with easy climbs and easy people and you will get your mojo back soon enough.
I have hit the ground hard a couple of times and lost a few partners and had to reflect on the worth of the whole endeavor so you are hardly alone in your considerations.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Dec 10, 2012 - 01:32pm PT
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Hope that helps. (Dream of White Donkeys - Gogarth, Wales)
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 24, 2012 - 11:15pm PT
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Done!
Went out today with Cosmic, Johnny Ray and my girl. Couldn't ask for a nicer day. (Edit - Paul was with us too as always, riding in my chalkbag.)
Warmed up on a 5.4 in my approach shoes just for grins, and led a couple soft 8s. TR'd a stellar new 5.8 that just got put up.
Cosmic did great with his unique "tripod climbing" being as his shoulder is still healing. Fun times! Will post a couple pics when my gal is done working with them.
Really appreciate those that took the time to post up here, many thanks.
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Captain...or Skully
climber
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Dec 24, 2012 - 11:19pm PT
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Well, you're "that dude", man.
I hope you're feelin' it.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 24, 2012 - 11:33pm PT
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Feeling great Skully, thanks. Little sunburned, little windburned, little sore, a lot elated. Like one should after a great day out with friends.
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Captain...or Skully
climber
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Dec 24, 2012 - 11:36pm PT
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See? That Dude. That dude is inspired, man.
Cheers!
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 24, 2012 - 11:47pm PT
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 25, 2012 - 01:32am PT
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It's an optical illusion due to the rock...gotta admit it's really cool because of that.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 25, 2012 - 01:36am PT
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Center mass, Cosmic, you're a low-life. It changes sh#t around.
I wisht I coulda gone.
I had better things to do.
One week, year is new.
It can wait, but it's hard when you're charged up.
I believe my problem's in the opposite direction, Travis.
Nicely recuperated, I see. What's soft about 5.8? You don't break 8's and 9's down, clown. It's pointless to do so. You can go ahead, though, we know what you mean.
Wow, so glad to see you out and about...Merry Christmas, with mild Taco Sauce!
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 25, 2012 - 01:45am PT
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Thanks Mouse! We were really looking forward to seeing you here. Merry Christmas to you from Christina and myself.
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Ihateplastic
Trad climber
It ain't El Cap, Oregon
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Dec 25, 2012 - 02:00am PT
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1973 type motivation.
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Dec 25, 2012 - 02:03am PT
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Be open to your goals... while certainly wonderful, picking the Nose might just be too arbritrary - do you want to climb it, or do you want to HAVE climbed it? Learn to love the movement, the art, the dance. El Cap is great, but you broke recently... slow down a bit, smell the roses, focus on technique and health and good vibes.
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Dec 25, 2012 - 02:32am PT
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Sending good vibes your way. I have to escape the grey monsoon so I may make a trip down to Red Rocks. I'll let you know if I am coming down. It won't be before Feb. or March. Hope to cheer ya up. All the best man!
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 25, 2012 - 02:35am PT
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Thanks for the post G.
Right now, I am indeed concentrating on my movement, my feet..breathing. Putting my lead head back where I want it to be. Today was a wonderful crag day; the next trip I will probably do a light multi and play with my trad gear.
The Nose is a long way off for me, I have at least 6 walls on my list before that one. I haven't decided on what I want to do for my first true El Cap attempt, but I have a couple on the Column higher on the tick list. And that's if I even want to do a wall after my first one; no way of knowing till I get there. I do know that the mechanics and trials of the wall call to me very strongly.
For me, the Nose is a lot of things. The "prestige" of it is pretty far down the list.
So many of the pitches are so amazing, and I would love to climb them for the pure asthetic of the pitch. The Stovelegs, Texas Flake and the Swing, the Great Roof. Changing corners. The pictures I see of individual pitches draw me more then the whole.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 25, 2012 - 02:36am PT
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Thanks Plaid! Would be awesome to see ya, and climbing would be great.
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Dec 25, 2012 - 11:09am PT
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VC, do you do any strength and conditioning? Could be really useful for you to get healthy, I do kettle bells and they help with long days, keep me fit etc. A short program like that 3 times a week might be a better investment in success (combined with a happy healthy diet and a day or two a week climbing on rock) than spending hours in etriers.
I used to be a 210lb big wal theorist... flailed at walls because they are physically exhausting. I practiced all the dorky little tinkering things, heading, hooking, jumaring, leading, whatever... didn't matter because I didn't have confidence that my body could keep up with my goals. I don't know what kind of limitations your health places on your activities but if you want to climb walls, you want to be really fit. All that hauling and jumaring taxes you physically, which taxes you mentally, which affects you emotionally, which... yeah you get it.
One time it took me 2 hours to jug a 200' line. No jokesies.
One summer I spent a few months climbing at tahquitz, lots of terrain, up to 5.9, hours and hours a day. No aid practice. Climbed my first grade VI that year, pretty easy too. Chuck yourself in the furnace and see what the crucible shows you.
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Chinchen
climber
Way out there....
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Dec 25, 2012 - 12:38pm PT
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Go bouldering!
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Dec 25, 2012 - 01:12pm PT
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Stuck here in Ouray ice climbing by default. In early Jan. I will be looking for a good weather window to come to Vegas. Let's do a climb.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Dec 25, 2012 - 01:22pm PT
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I was ice climbing....yuk! Happy Holidays to you and Donna....see you soon.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Dec 25, 2012 - 01:31pm PT
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Tricky....but i only have to get one to work.
Heading out for some skiing today, ten inches of fresh snow.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 25, 2012 - 02:10pm PT
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Hey Jim! Sounds like a blast in Ouray.
I sent you a message when you were here a few weeks ago, guess it didn't get through. See you on the next trip for sure!
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