In memory of Bill "Dolt" Feuerer

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LilaBiene

Trad climber
Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 23, 2012 - 03:40am PT
You woke me out of a sound sleep this morning, hours before the alarm was set to ring...you were desperately trying to tell me something...I wanted to hear you, to embrace you...to convince you you are loved, still.

Credit: LilaBiene

And you are remembered, not just on this day, which would have been your 80th birthday, but every single day.

Credit: LilaBiene

I don't know if you can see it, or feel it, or know it...but your soul is dancing, and lives on.

Credit: LilaBiene

Camila's second climbing lesson in Yosemite, guided by the multi-talen...
Camila's second climbing lesson in Yosemite, guided by the multi-talented BooDawg and friend of Dolt's.
Credit: LilaBiene

Credit: LilaBiene

Sending you all our love, wherever you are...

This photo of Bill was taken by Tom Frost, and was given to us at the ...
This photo of Bill was taken by Tom Frost, and was given to us at the Oakdale Climbers Festival. It is impossible (at least at this point!) to put into words what it feels like to hold this picture in my hands.
Credit: LilaBiene

You are loved. YOU ARE LOVED. You are loved.

LilaBiene & the muppet
Jan

Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
Nov 23, 2012 - 04:03am PT
I've never seen a close portrait photo of your father before. It's good to have a face now to go with the many stories.

I had a somewhat similar experience. The first Festival for the Ancestors in Japan after the Frank Sacherer memorial in the Valley, I dreamed two nights in a row that I was visiting again with his parents in San Francisco. We were sitting at the kitchen table in the sun room, talking and laughing for hours. I knew they were telling me they were happy with the way things had been handled.

Tobia

Social climber
Denial
Nov 23, 2012 - 04:42am PT
Nice post and tribute, Lilabiene. If you plan on going to the facelift next year, maybe I will get to meet you then as I didn't quite "send" this past one.

mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Nov 23, 2012 - 04:50am PT
You're not the only one waking up with odd stirrings.

Boomer and Dolt must've met by now.

Wouldn't that have been fun to see?

Dolt you have a handicap?

No, sir, only just me.

And Boomer may I ask, sir,

Are you able to climb five-three?

You are not exactly just stuck with leftovers, Odd.

I'm thankful we met and became friends this year.

Next one's going to be twice as nice.

Batso: That's not Bill, that's Dennis Hopper, you dolt!

splitter

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Nov 23, 2012 - 04:53am PT
...to convince you are loved, still.
LOVE ABIDES ...

FOREVER!!!!!!

edit: "And now abideth faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
hooblie

climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
Nov 23, 2012 - 06:13am PT
pretty darn special, that there's no last page
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Nov 23, 2012 - 08:11am PT
Picture rotation.. rotation of beauty..rotation of life..
father
father
.
Daughter & Grandchild
Daughter & Grandchild
Credit: nita

Lila, Thank you.. for taking us along on your journey.
looking forward to meeting the muppet and camping with you again.

Edit; can anybody take these two pictures and put them side by side?...
Cragman

Trad climber
June Lake, California....via the Damascus Road
Nov 23, 2012 - 08:15am PT
Really lovely tribute.....thanks for sharing.....and may peace be yours, LilaBiene.
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Nov 23, 2012 - 08:31am PT

No words can say what you already have Lila. . .
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
i WASNT ON THE INTERNET during bush years...
Nov 23, 2012 - 08:34am PT
A climbing Legacy which we all know.. Gone but never forgotten..
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Nov 23, 2012 - 08:37am PT
Wow the resemblance is striking. Very cool. Happy B-Day
FRUMY

Trad climber
SHERMAN OAKS,CA
Nov 23, 2012 - 08:46am PT
Thank you for your great posts & thank you for being you.
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Nov 23, 2012 - 09:02am PT
Oh boy....so poignant, beautiful


Susan
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
Nov 23, 2012 - 09:23am PT

nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Nov 23, 2012 - 09:35am PT

Ed, Thanks!! ..


Perfect! ..You even cleaned up the picture.(-;


can't say

Social climber
Pasadena CA
Nov 23, 2012 - 10:04am PT
DNA rules!!
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
i WASNT ON THE INTERNET during bush years...
Nov 23, 2012 - 10:58am PT
I have a DOLT bolt hangar in my prize collections.. That tiny Chunk of Metal represents the Icon which represents us all. The mark of men is their legacies, and in this case they are all STELLAR...

Bills birth, Danos departure. Where would we be now, without them in our past?
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Nov 23, 2012 - 11:41am PT
hey there say, lilabiene...


oh such a sweet wonderful post!...

thank you for sharing your love for you father, here is with us, as we
'peek in'...

thank you for sharin the whole story, too...
i will always remember this find, as a treasure...
the kind that many seek, but never find...


god bless and happy thanksgiving to you, as you hold your
treasure in the midst of you and your granddaughter...

>:D<
crunch

Social climber
CO
Nov 23, 2012 - 11:41am PT
It was wonderful to meet you and muppet in Oakdale. You really livened things up, with your amazing story and big smile!

here's a couple pics:

muppet and lilabiene
muppet and lilabiene
Credit: crunch

muppet
muppet
Credit: crunch

One item of Dolt gear still in use. Fred Beckey's haulbag. So tough an...
One item of Dolt gear still in use. Fred Beckey's haulbag. So tough and well made, Fred still totes it around with him.
Credit: crunch

Best wishes from Colorado.

Crusher



Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Nov 23, 2012 - 11:47am PT
Happy Birthday Bill!

That portrait of Bill is the first photo that Tom Frost ever took.

Handed Tom his Leica in 1960 and said take my picture. And what a fine picture it is.
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
i WASNT ON THE INTERNET during bush years...
Nov 23, 2012 - 12:14pm PT
Iconic BUMP...
McHale's Navy

Trad climber
Panorama City, California & living in Seattle
Nov 23, 2012 - 01:26pm PT
Here's what's left of my Dolt metal collection other than bashies. Dolt pins were always special - I hated pounding on them. I left a fixed Dolt pin on Pea Soup at the Needles in 1970. It was pretty loose but could not get it out without breaking the thin lip of rock it was behind (1st pitch) so I didn't! I traded the Cobra hook for a belay seat back in the day. That was a deal! Does anyone know if he actually ever made any Gold Plated Pins mounted on Rosewood? He advertised them!
Credit: McHale's Navy
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 23, 2012 - 05:15pm PT
My profuse apologies for the up-side-down and otherwise screwy photos, which I hope I've now fixed. I had just a few minutes to post while inspiration had taken hold, and still get out the door to work this morning.

From my heart, I thank all of you for your thoughtful comments, for sharing your similar experiences and for sharing this journey with the muppet and me.

Nita: I'm looking forward to next year, already, too!!!

Crusher: The muppet LOVES your book (we read a story or two most nights before bed) and that picture of her with the book is priceless! Thank you over and over, again.

McHale's Navy: I would love to know about that last bong (I think?) at the bottom of your picture -- that looks like it has some great stories to tell. Thanks for sharing.

BBA

climber
OF
Nov 23, 2012 - 05:45pm PT
I never imagined such a series on this website (or anywhere else, for that matter). I'm still in a state of wonder about your experience. I knew and liked your Dad, and was shocked when I read of his death in Steve Roper's book. Bill Amborn
splitter

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Nov 23, 2012 - 06:04pm PT
i DO believe he's thinking of you, and dearly loves you...
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Nov 23, 2012 - 07:18pm PT
Oh, my, Lilabiene, you ARE a n00b, as Mad Bolter learned that day he tried to take you on an aid pitch at Church Bowl.

I can only suggest you enlarge the photo from McHale's Navy and inspect what you thought was a bong.

You use a hammer to strike the end which has the hole in it, while the much thinner end is inserted into a crack.

We'll talk, OK? No biggie, we've all been where you are in your climbing career. Your enthusiasm transcends your ignorance, so enjoy the state of bliss.

MFME.
Fletcher

Trad climber
Fumbling towards stone
Nov 23, 2012 - 07:31pm PT
Wow... wow... wow... beautiful.

Words have failed someone who can't stop talking and writing! :-)

Moved, once again.

Such a beautiful, heartwarming, encouraging story... still going too!

Peace, love and happy birthday to all of you.

Now this whole tale is truly something for which to be grateful.

Giant cosmic hug!
Eric
splitter

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Nov 23, 2012 - 07:42pm PT
Does anyone know if he made gold plated pins...!
Speak to Don Lauria, evidently he bought a collection of them from him. DL tells the story on the Dolt thread (one of those threads).

Edit: Mouse From Merced - Don't be to hard on her, there are probably tens of thousands of sport & gym climbers who do not have a clue as to what a pin or bong is (other than for smoking bud) let alone the difference between an angle, lost arrow, knife blade and a bong!

We will make a big wall/trad climber out of her yet!!

edit: LilaBiene - we know you're not a sport or gym climber. i was just saying that there ARE those types out there that call themselves climbers, and they don't know the difference. so no worries!! :)

btw, KNOTT stupid questions! "how else does one learn?" = correct resonse! kudos!!
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 24, 2012 - 06:42am PT
So what exactly IS IT, then? It looked to me earlier to have two edges, but it's more likely that was just a shadow. How the heck am I supposed to learn unless I ask (stupid) questions? Sheesh.

Edit: I'm not a sport OR gym climber...I'm just a'learnin', and I prefer to do this outdoors. ;)
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Nov 24, 2012 - 08:25am PT
That would be called a knifeblade. It does have a slightly different head design than the ones usually available today. Dolt's equipment was beautifully finished compared to any others I have seen. Certainly not a dumb question we all have to learn this weird gear somehow plus it's part of the fun of climbing.

Typical current version of a knifeblade piton.



This would be a good example of a Bong Piton. They are rarely used these days due to camming devices that are better suited for most larger cracks. Bongs still have the occasional use as fixed gear or in very soft crumbly rock.

Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 24, 2012 - 08:57am PT
Hey!

Most people think a bong has nothing to do with rock climbing.

At least Lila was on the right track.
For somebody who only recently learned basic climbing jargon cut her enough slack to make the move!

Besides, lots of things go "bong" if you hit them with a hammer.
BBA

climber
OF
Nov 24, 2012 - 04:03pm PT
That's why they were originally called bong bongs.
jstan

climber
Nov 25, 2012 - 10:41am PT
LilaB:
We really appreciate the interest you and the Muppet have in the rock and in us. Bill's story has long been a source of sadness for us. Hearing of your's and the Muppet's adventures, at long last, begins to make that story whole.
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 25, 2012 - 03:31pm PT
jstan: I was contemplating this earlier this morning during my swim, albeit from my perspective, so I thank you for giving me the "nudge", so-to-speak.

It's really me that has you and the rest of the climbing community to thank for making ME whole.

Without the love shown over and over in preserving the memories of Bill, be it in stories, eulogies, jokes, photos, equipment, clothing, routes...I never in a million years would have "found" him or the wonderful lot of you (the first group of people with whom I've felt truly comfortable in my own skin, and likewise, haven't felt the need to explain myself to...much, anyway...chuckle).

In having found him, I have been given a key I never imagined existed. This is not simply because I never dared to imagine who my father was in the archetypal sense, but because I made the assumption very early on in life that I was inexplicably...hummmmmm...well, just...off, mostly in the ways that I looked at and took in the world around me. And now I know that I am not an original (in my "offness")...I am a genuine Dolt reproduction. HA! Or a-HA! (Equally appropriate.)

It's ME that has so unbelievably many of you to thank for sharing of yourselves, welcoming me to the campfire, teaching me, passing along tangible and intangible memories...and for not avoiding sometimes sad and painful moments (both mine and yours).

I know I can't replace him, or take away the unthinkable pain he inflicted on so many...including himself.

Perhaps through us, or along with us, though, Bill will find redemption, acceptance and wholeness, and his soul will finally be set free.
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Nov 25, 2012 - 06:24pm PT
Oh my....just unbelievable. This is such a moving story.

Susan
Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 26, 2012 - 09:32am PT
Audrey, and Muppet - we're delighted to have you as part of our little community. Sure, there are a few oddballs and misfits, but probably not more than 75% or so. Those of us who belong here know that we fit in. Anyone of good heart wanting to join our campfire is always welcome.
jstan

climber
Nov 26, 2012 - 09:36am PT
Sure, there are a few oddballs and misfits, but probably not more than 75% or so. -MH

There Anders goes again. Always looking on the positive side.
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 27, 2012 - 05:01pm PT
MH: BTW, I'm really enjoying Chris Jones' "Climbing in North America". Thanks for the great recommendation. About the funniest thing I've read in a long time is the quote of Lincoln O'Brien to Robert Underhill on their attempt on Mount Robson: "Robert, if our objective in life is making first ascents, I believe we will make more of them if we avoid making this one."

I really like that the book covers Canada, the West and the East -- never would have known Eastern climbers were as involved as they were in early U.S. climbing, otherwise. Suspect I'll be up nosing around up in NH before too long...now, climbing AND skiing? How close to heaven can you get? But I digress...
Studly

Trad climber
WA
Nov 27, 2012 - 08:19pm PT
What a wonderful thread. Who's going to take Lila to the Dolt Hole and to the top of Dolt Tower?
Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 27, 2012 - 10:21pm PT
Other books that you might like are Steve Roper's "Camp 4" and "Ordeal by Piton", and Galen Rowell's "The Vertical World of Yosemite".

We thought that Audrey might try Arrowhead Arete next year, and perhaps Dolt Tower in 2014. Who knows, though - she may progress more quickly.
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 28, 2012 - 07:20pm PT
Aww, shucks. What I need is MORE pressure...that's what my life has been missing! :D Guess I have 10 months to prepare. A little too early to start counting the days, eh?

MH: Have read the first two, and the Rowell book is next. Am I enough of a geek, or what?!
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2013 - 10:02am PT
Both you and Ann have been very quiet these last couple of months...and in my heart I feared that perhaps you both had shared with me all that you wished for me to know...and that my connection to you had somehow evaporated in a moment of lapsed hypervigilance.

For reasons outside of my own, a couple of days ago I needed to quickly try to determine whether you had been told about me.

For the last year and a half I've been keeping that unanswered question compartmentalized, carefully, and steeply walled-off, somewhere over the edge of the horizon so that I don't accidentally happen upon it unless I choose. After exploring the question to a certain extent, I resigned myself to accepting that it was a question that probably wouldn't ever be answered. And, having talked some with your close friends, I concluded that either way you would have been dealt an eviscerating blow. This depersonalized things enough that I was able to hold my deepest fear at bay.

Oddly enough, it would have been entirely okay with me if you had been told and you had decided your life was taking a different direction. (Somehow, in my heart, I doubt you would have, but who's to say what you would have done...other than you?) It would have also been understandable if you had been told and things just didn't work out between you and Ann. Human relationships are confounding and complex; they start and end. The pain dissipates with new found passions, time...

But you didn't...know.

Is this why you crept into my dreams night after night, howling of the pain coming from the depth of the void? In my sleep, I could sense you desperately wanted me to know that you had been wronged, so deeply wounded...your shoulders shook with sobs so deep I could feel them in my own chest. I would wake gasping for air, feeling as if I had just escaped an unimaginably massive, swirling, churning, thrashing sea. I would place my hand on the muppet to feel the soothing rise and fall of her chest as she slept. If I still couldn't sleep, I'd turn on the light and pick up and turn over in my hands things that you had made...a piton, a hanger, a bashie...a nut or two...your notebook. And worst case, I'd pour over my endless scraps of paper searching for a new clue that might lead...somewhere...and get lost in time suspended working through the problem without a solution, finding my deepest comfort in the process.

The discovery that you were never told fills me with anguish. It's not until I am completely alone that I can let go of the dam, allowing my tears to escape. I feel helpless, incredibly sad, so small...and...responsible. The weight of these feelings is something I can't describe. But for me, things would have been different. Who knows exactly how, but they would have been.

I'm just going to have to carry this for a while.

In the muppet and me, you are living expression. You can't be taken away from us because we are a part of you, and always will be. Our love.



GLee

Social climber
Missoula MT
Jul 25, 2013 - 11:02am PT
What's that Word??? Verklempt????

That is how I feel now, Odd.... THX in the best way possible for being you & for all that you have shared with the Tribe...

C U 2 (maybe 3) in 62 days....

Greg
Fletcher

Trad climber
The great state of advaita
Jul 25, 2013 - 12:42pm PT
Wow... moving. Brave.

Peace,
Eric
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 11, 2013 - 11:11pm PT
So a few weeks back, I wound up in the ER for reasons no doctors seem to be able to pin down...and I was feeling mightily sorry for myself and about as frustrated as I ever get with the medical profession.

As I was lying there, freezing my tail off, hugging my climbing magazine, I thought to myself: "So you guys (Ann & Bill) have consistently popped up in mysterious ways over and over this past year and a half, where are you now when you know precisely what's going on, and I'm scared sh*tless?"

Next thing I know, a resident comes in to ask some follow-up questions. He sees my magazine. "I climb, too," he says. My eyes must have been saucers.

So fast forward a few weeks, and I finally drag myself to post that I won't be able to make it to Facelift due to both the hubby and me being out of work. I've had not a decent, warm lead since June when I was laid off.

Can you guess what happened the very next day?

I got hired to work on a two-week project, scheduled to end on the first day of Facelift.

You just can't make this stuff up. And, yes, I'm just a little freaked out!

Edit: P.S. On my way out, I gave the climbing magazine to the exhausted resident that probably hadn't seen the light of day in months. ")
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Sep 11, 2013 - 11:38pm PT
^^^ God works in mysterious ways..
Yours is a story of many open ends.
And God has an answer to every loophole.
Do you believe?
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Sep 12, 2013 - 03:35am PT
Someone made this stuff up.

Whether it's all in your mind or all in some cosmic mind, it had origins.

We all have origins.

Does the fact you are tempishly-employed mean a trip out west? It's not clear as a bell like your usual writing style.

I'm glad you've read the Post Road.

I'm glad to see you posting, too.
Roots

Mountain climber
SoCal
Sep 12, 2013 - 08:13am PT
See you at Facelift!
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 12, 2013 - 07:58pm PT
Unless I can pull some kind of Houdini magic, I won't make it to Facelift this year. (Howling disappointment.) But you can be sure I'll still be checking stand-by flight options just as soon as this project ends.

My heart and my brain both stubbornly refuse to accept reality. This has its pluses and minuses... ;D
BooDawg

Social climber
Butterfly Town
Sep 12, 2013 - 09:15pm PT
With Facelift daily growing closer and not having heard from you in WAY too long, I was making my "rounds" of the Park today, through heavy smoke at times, wondering if you were coming to Facelift. This evening, I vowed to send you a note to ask about your plans. And this turns up on the Taco tonight! As I and so many others know, it will break a lot of hearts not to see you at Facelift, but we also know that you must care for your Muppet and that there will be other years if you cannot come west at this time. While you have been sending Bill the message that he was and is loved, you know that we, as his community/family, are sending that same message to you: YOU ARE LOVED, LILABIENE! We still hold out hope that you can find a way to come for Facelift, and you have only to let us know what you need and how we can help to get you here! We hope that you have the courage to ask for help if that's what you need.

Houdini Magic? I think LILA MAGIC is far stronger!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Sep 12, 2013 - 11:13pm PT
hey there say, lilabiene... ohhhhh, i love this kind of stuff!!!

>:D<

whichever way it goes, so happy to hear this share from you...
god bless, to you and your husband!
:)
Dennis Merritt

Trad climber
Asheville, NC
Sep 14, 2013 - 03:10pm PT
For a Northeastern climbing history, I recommend "Yankee Rock and Ice" by Laura and Guy Waterman. It might be out of print, might have to look around for it. It's a much larger story than a history of Northeast climbing. It's a fascinating study of the repeating gaps between generations, as the younger generation keeps shocking/offending the older generation, from the early 1900s to today.

Bill Dolt was clearly such a force when he was climbing, changing the way it was done by his elders.

(It applies to many walks of life. I keep seeing it in the contra dance community here in Asheville.)

Laura Waterman is a wonderfully warm individual, and a talented writer, and someone you might want to get to know. Her book about her life with Guy is equally fascinating, "Losing the Garden". She's up in Vermont.

--Dennis
Don Lauria

Trad climber
Bishop, CA
Sep 14, 2013 - 05:03pm PT
Another portrait:

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aspendougy

Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
Sep 14, 2013 - 07:59pm PT
I heard that he made something smaller than a RURP, called the Dolt CRUD BIT. Does anyone have a picture of that?
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 14, 2013 - 08:21pm PT
So I burst into tears on the bus on Friday morning reading your messages, Boo and Neebee, so touching and went straight to my heart. Alas, I'm struggling not to start all over again. Happy tears, not to worry.

Friday the 13th has always been my lucky day, and how the two of you managed to figure that one out, I'll never know. ")

When I got home that day after 11 hours of reviewing disastrously boring documents in German, I never imagined I would find this thoughtful letter in my mailbox. I hoped my letter had somehow made its way, but figured he would probably think I was just another nut. (Well, that's a given, anyway, right?) ;D

Kindness knows no bounds
Kindness knows no bounds
Credit: LilaBiene

Don, thank you for posting Bill's AF Service photo, and what a wonderful coincidence given Yvon's acknowledgement of how much you supported Bill. I'm so happy that Alice was able to reach out to you at the Oakdale Climbers Festival to share with you just how much your friendship, encouragement and support meant to Bill. I truly believe he desperately wanted you to know this.
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Sep 15, 2013 - 06:30am PT
I keep coming back to your threads and your story. One theme keeps coming to my mind every time. Legacy, inheritance and how even unknowingly your Fathers dedication to his ideals in various ways left you a truly valuable inheritance. Not in the mundane and monetary way but in a much deeper and I think more valuable way.

What he left you were relationships waiting to be discovered. Amazing places to see and connect with in a unique way that very few can. You fathers name (and his fantastic nickname) graces the history and features of what is still one of the most sought after climbs in the world.

Even this process of discovery is of such amazing value and an epic journey chock full to the seams with ... everything a great journey should be. However late he has come into your life he seems to have found a way to be what a father should be. A teacher, and example and hopefully a comfort.

Thank you for sharing it with us!
guido

Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
Sep 15, 2013 - 12:37pm PT
Well that is a nice letter from Yvon that your Muppet can share with her kids someday and there will be less of a mystery of who her Grandpa was because of all the time and effort you have put into this discovery of life.
Fletcher

Trad climber
The great state of advaita
Sep 15, 2013 - 05:47pm PT
I too keep coming back to these threads of yours. There is an undercurrent of something uplifiting that runs through them, even with all the trials and setbacks. I guess that for those of us traversing though life with absent fathers of myriad varieties, your story speaks to us. We can relate and get what you are saying—at least to some extent. And that helps us, as well as how much I sense all of this storytelling has helped and continues to help you.

I appreciate the bravery and openness you possess in not only taking on this journey, but also in sharing it with others. That is no mean thing.

That letter from YC is a treasure for the kindness he shows. I love that he hand wrote it. That seems so very much like him!

In light and peace,
Eric
Largo

Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
Sep 15, 2013 - 06:11pm PT
Bill looked like movie star. One of my early prized possessions was a Dolt piton.

JL
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 22, 2013 - 05:09pm PT
Someone sent me a message recently, advising me not to try to become Bill's "library". I'd like to set the record straight.

I have not asked anyone for anything, other than answers to questions that I have, which arise from the depths of my heart's desire to know Bill and those who care about him. I may have missed him by 40 years, but he is the reason I came into being. He was and is my birth dad. (I'm not discounting Ann's incredibly selfless efforts by any means.)

We all question at one time or another (or in my case, nearly every single day of my life) why we are here, what we're supposed to do with this gift called life and whether we're getting any of it right.

Strangely enough, it's only been since I started on this journey of discovery that I've felt for the first time in my life that I'm at least getting some of it right (well, some of the time, at any rate). I'm acknowledging things I already knew, but never knew existed outside of what I believed to be my own fairly odd take on the world (who would have thought?!). I'm learning about people and stories and love and pain and history and generosity and unbelievable strength. There is strength in vulnerability.

But more than anything, with precious few exceptions, my belief that if you meet the world with an open heart, the world will open its heart to you, has been, and continues to be, confirmed, over and over again. Both Ann and Bill greeted the world this way, and I suspect that they recognized this in one another. Lucky me!

Since that moment I came into being, I have been...er...a repository so to speak, of much that was Bill, so that's not exactly something over which I had much control. And as is fairly well known, that has its positive and challenging sides, as with anything else.

What I DO have control over, however, is whether what I learn on this journey comes into my life and ends with me, or whether it is shared with as many folks as who may wish to learn, reminisce, heal, make new or revive faded connections and/or keep his memory alive. My choice is to share (in case I haven't already made that patently clear), and to pay forward each of the kindnesses shown to me.

I can't imagine that Bill would have wanted it any other way.

Edit:
Last week the muppet decided to experiment with scissors...on her waist length hair. ") She's showing signs of Doltishness!

Ca-mila is, a punk-rocker, Ca-mi-i-i-i-la is...
Ca-mila is, a punk-rocker, Ca-mi-i-i-i-la is...
Credit: LilaBiene
Jon Beck

Trad climber
Oceanside
Sep 22, 2013 - 06:20pm PT
TFPU Yvon

Thank you for sharing Audrey, your story is a good antidote for some of the other threads on here!
Clint Cummins

Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
Sep 22, 2013 - 09:17pm PT
I heard that he made something smaller than a RURP, called the Dolt CRUD BIT. Does anyone have a picture of that?
You also asked this in 2011, and I answered it with a photo in this thread:
http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=1374614&tn=20
Fletcher

Trad climber
The great state of advaita
Sep 23, 2013 - 08:50am PT
Oh, that is classic regarding the Muppet's hair! One of my girls decided to trim her bangs about a year ago. Much less drastic, but that still took about six months to get her back to normal. Thank god for a good haircutter.

Right on with the open heart!

Got your pm and will get back to you soon... in the middle of making my way to Facelift!

Eric
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Oct 3, 2013 - 01:03pm PT
hey there say, lilabiene....

emaillllllllllllllllllll me, please... por favor, :)


thanks so very much!!!!

neat pic of the little muppet... >:D<
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Oct 3, 2013 - 01:06pm PT
hey there say.... also, i JUST EMAILED YOU...

so please check, :)
happy good day and eve, :)
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