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Ron Anderson

Trad climber
USA Moundhouse Nev. and land o da SLEDS!
Nov 8, 2012 - 07:42am PT
Hey Mr Mouse, Heres to YOU. The times they are a changin. There will be more sweet spots ahead. Independence is a ruse, as we all need each other is some way. Crows flock with crows. Stay safe , classy and above all else,, stay YOU...
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 8, 2012 - 06:56pm PT
It's been a day, let me tell you. I got straight with my brothers and sister about the obsequies, the requiem mass, and so on. The body's on the cremation plane and it will be turned into cinders down in Texas. Yep, Texas.

Mass and memorial are next Wednesday.

All set. Bank's good, mean to sell the double-wide cheap & fast. Some furniture will be stored by me for use in a new place.

Thanks for sticking with me, friends.

I need sleep because I mean to start to finish up with the Sierra Club Bulletins this weekend (big stack) while looking through Jim's new batch of slides he shipped me. May havesome Cathedral shots. I'm hoping some Tahquitz, too.
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Nov 8, 2012 - 07:37pm PT

Take care..Mr Mouse....

Saludos..
Best Wishes...
nita.


.............................
Thinking about my Mom...She is having a tough time....

Sending this song out to my Mom, and anyone else that is experiencing sorrow.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9TmJBBKYmU
zBrown

Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
Nov 8, 2012 - 08:15pm PT
too real is this feeling of make believe

too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal





but remember

my need is such, I pretend too much

Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Nov 8, 2012 - 08:30pm PT
I got straight with my brothers and sister about the obsequies, the requiem mass, and so on.

Three weeks ago, when it looked like my father would only have a few days, he asked for us all to join him. Which we did. His room was tiny, so we pried him out of his bed and hoisted him into a wheelchair, and the kind folks at the hospital gave us a little meeting room, and we sat and listened. To his thoughts on the obsequies, and so on.

He's blind, so we all had to identify ourselves by voice, but he soon knew who was where, and looked right at us. And he was beyond weak, so even with an Oxy feed he could only manage a few words without a break. But he sat tall in the chair and laid it down.

And the message was: "It won't matter to me, cuz I ain't gonna be participating, so you do what you think is right to remember me. The only thing I ask is that you don't involve any preachers."

So we tucked him back into bed, then sat around crying, or pretending not to cry, for a while. And agreed that there wouldn't be any preachers involved, but that when the time came, be it tomorrow or next week or next year, that there would be a jar with his ashes, and plenty of time to listen to whoever wanted to tell a story.

However it goes down for you and your dad Mouse, I hope you feel my spirit there with you.
Evel

Trad climber
Nedsterdam CO
Nov 8, 2012 - 10:42pm PT
Hang in there Mouse. We've not met that I'm aware of, but I do like your style around here. Sure wouldn't be the same without your posts.

My pop died many years ago in my arms. I've never gotten over it, but my life has had to go on. It's crappy at times. But no-one ever promised me a rose garden. I just keep my chin up and know that dad would be disappointed if I didn't. That alone has helped a lot over the years. It doesn't go away,but it does get easier. A little.

You're gonna be alright Brother.
Cosmiccragsman

Trad climber
AKA Dwain, from Apple Valley, Ca. and Vegas!
Nov 9, 2012 - 12:37am PT
I just recieved in the Mail today, an AWESOME Thanksgiving Card,
from the Mighty Mouse. Thank You, Brian, for the gift cert for 3 reslung cams. Decisions, decisions, Decisions,what do I resling?
My PINK and Red Tricams, My 3 smallest Aliens, my TCUs?

Thanks Mouse, for making my life HARDER with DECISIONS!!!

:)

I look forward to getting you down here to climb soon!

Mi Casa...



Cosmic
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 9, 2012 - 03:51am PT
A Golfer’s Requiem
By Francis W. Bermingham

I’m teeing off on a course today I’ve never played before.
From what I’ve heard, nobody much cares about your score.

With fairways wide, rough not deep,
The hills before you not too steep,
The greens they say are smooth and true,
With subtle breaks and a lovely view.

My partner’s attired in different mode,
He’d never pass my club’s dress code:
He wears a robe of purest white--
When on the tee, He’s quite a sight.

He sports a beard and His hair’s too long;
And as he swings, he hums a song.
Without golf spikes, He’s wearing sandals.
Perhaps I should be lighting candles?

But when we reached the nineteenth hole,
I thanked the God who saved my soul.


And this is my legacy, a penchant to outdo my dad's poetry, and remember he had two holes-in-one, akin to climbing the Captain or Trango. I could never beat him a golf, or at pool, or at hearts, or in the vocabulary tests in the Readers Digest, nor could I sing like he could, nor even plunk a ukelele the way he could. But he bothered to help me become better at each.

On the other hand he never climbed the Captain, though we did climb a cinder cone off the 99 up by the town of Shasta. And we did take a memorable moonlight hike (sans moon, so it was a midnight hike, technically) with the family to the top of Yosemite Falls, 1964. And I can't post the fishing trophies he garnered with Mike and Tim--salmon, steelies, bass.

But I can truly say he gave me the urge to be specific in language, get the point over, don't BS, and do your research. All this from a guy who never finished JC, but trained himself with Toastmasters to deliver a competent train of thought in front of people and relied on his slide rule for much of his data when doing reports for Pac Tel. And he taught me to stay the course in employment. In this day and age, he kept the same job for over thirty years. By contrast, I have had three main employers over twenty-six years, plus several ancillary and other positions, and I only quit one time. Sh#t-canned several, but I didn't quit. One has responsibilities, but one likes to keep eating and stay warm, too. My brother Mike just retired two years ago after thirty-five with the Irrigation District.

It's awful hard to fill certain shoes or meet certain standards. Dads are just so important, aren't they, Fletcher?

It's great to hear your stories, too, my friends. This is a blessing I did not expect, consciously. Some thing happening here; what it is will reveal itself in the clear and then we'll all sing Take Me Out To The Golf Course in four-part harmony.

Here's a tune mentioned by Joe Fitschen in Going Up (never heard of this one!) that makes me think of the years Boomer was growing up and there were all sorts of things happening that he lived through. It is filled wtih forties charm. Gershwin, Concerto in F. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6lQD31dynA

The last several years Boomer spent lots of time telling me about his life in our evening phone conversations. These regular phone talks are one of the best things for older folks, who rely on them every day to keep them from feeling isolated and ignored. Always call your Dad or Mom if you even happen to think about it. You may be really glad you did. Just a "thinking about you" is a kindness they will treasure for who knows how long.

I could easily sense Boomer's energy, his joie de vivre, quickly leaving him as he had to abandon golf because he was too weak to play. Imagine the grief he went through because it wasn't just about the golf with him, it was Dudley, Gus, Nick, Ralph and Burt and Bobbye he mainly golfed with and they had left the game or passed on. And Tim and I were not playing, though Tim has taken it up again (he was on the MHS golf squad). Mike was the hunter and fisherman, not a golfer, though he and Dad took several fishing trips to Mexico and the Sacramento was their private stocked river, they seemed to think. You needed to like salmon and sturgeon around our family.

A Golfer's Obituary
email sent from older bro in Merced Falls to youngest bro in Jamestown

Tim, Here is a draft of what we used for Dad's obituary, only a couple of minor changes were made to the final.

The bottom info is self-explanatory.

Mass is Weds. the 14th at 10:00 AM. I'll fill you in on more as I get it.

Francis W. “Boomer” Bermingham 5/17/1924 -- 11/4/2012.

Francis was born in Redding, CA. He attended schools there until 1942. After high school he worked a summer as a concrete vibrator during the construction of Shasta Dam. After attending Sacramento JC for one semester, he enlisted in the Army Air Corps. He received his commission as a second lieutenant and wings as a pilot in May of 1944. Shortly after “D Day”, he served in England and France in the Troop Carrier Command, hauling supplies and towing gliders on combat missions. Returning from Europe after “V-E” Day, he married his high school sweetheart, Barbara Larson in August 1945.

After discharge, he was employed by Pacific Tel & Tel as an engineering assistant. After several years in Redding as a Telephone Representative, he was transferred to Sacramento. He held various positions there, including Service Engineer, Sales Supervisor, Public Office Manager, and Unit Manager. After eight years, he was transferred to Merced in 1961 as Manager. He was active in the Merced Relations Committee, Boy Scouts, Rotary Club, Chamber of Commerce, Base Community Council, Our Lady of Mercy Dad’s Club, OLM Choir, Barbershop Chorus, and Merced Golf and Country Club.

He enjoyed golf, fishing, golf, boating & water skiing, golf, camping & RVing, and golf.
His loving wife Barbara, of 57 years passed away in March, 2003. He is survived by three sons, Michael of Snelling, Brian of Merced, and Timothy of Jamestown, and a daughter Lenna Peterson of Sonora, as well as several grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Requiem Mass will be held at St. Patrick’s on ___.

Contributions in lieu of flowers may be made to a charity of the donor’s choice.

Arrangements are being handled by Stratford Evans.



And so it comes to this
A boxful of ashes
And the collected memories of four children
And countless friends, most of whom have been remembering Good Old Boomer in absentia but now are greeting him in the Good Old Heavenly Clubhouse.

Unlike golf, a good way to ruin a walk,
Climbing is a good way to enhance that walk,
I have found.

T Hocking

Trad climber
Redding, Ca
Nov 10, 2012 - 02:48pm PT
Mouse and others,

Boomer may soon have company.

My Father (Roger age 82) was taken to the ER again this morning after being released from the hospital a week ago from side effects of chemotherapy for lymphoma. He has made it through 4 of 6 chemo
sessions and the next round is scheduled for Thurs. but we don't think his current health status will allow that to happen. As his treatments have progressed they have taken their toll and sapped the life and health out of him. His immune system has been compromised, white blood cell counts very low on 2 occasions meaning transfusions. numerous fevers up to 105 F. Has lost bladder and bowel control and has no appetite. Recently having
hallucinations, talking jibberish and losing mental capacities.

It has come time to make another trip down to Oceanside to be at his side (was last with him when the chemo began 3 months ago) and help my brother with the responsibilities of caring for him. I will be flying out of Sac. Sun. morning with no return flight scheduled. It will be hard to leave my
wife, daughter, son in law and new grandson in Redding but a son has to do
what he can for a great father.

Dad was born and raised in Dubuque Iowa and sports of all types were his life. Lettered in 3 sports in H.S. and 2 sports at the University of Iowa.
Turned down a professional baseball offer to become a H.S. PE teacher/coach of many sports. 4 yr. stint in the U.S.M.C as a Lt. during the Korean conflict. Married Mom in 55, had me in 56, moved to Riverside, Ca. in 57 to start his 35 year teaching/coaching career. Raised 3 fine sons with Mom (Lost her to Cancer 6 yrs. ago). Thousands of kids called him coach and some still do as adults. I am fortunate to call him Dad!

Dad always encouraged his sons to persue their interests no matter how
hair brained, like my climbing and musical persuits. I can remember him driving Jim Wilson and I to J-Tree, Suicide and Yos. Valley so we could climb before we had our licences.

Thanks Dad, Love Tad!



neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Nov 10, 2012 - 03:08pm PT
hey there say, mouse.... prayers for the situations coming up...
am praying that all goes smooth... (i put a note--comment--on your facebook page, as to a prayer for it all)...

as to this quote of yours:
The last several years Boomer spent lots of time telling me about his life in our evening phone conversations. These regular phone talks are one of the best things for older folks, who rely on them every day to keep them from feeling isolated and ignored. Always call your Dad or Mom if you even happen to think about it. You may be really glad you did. Just a "thinking about you" is a kindness they will treasure for who knows how long.

that is priceless... i wish my folks liked to talk as much as i do...
i'd talks to them all night... but they DO love phone calls, and that much i cherish we they DO talk...



T hocking:
my deep prayers too, for you dad at this hard time of his life...
you are not alone... folks really do care to send wishes or prayers, you are in everyones thoughts...

god blesss...
T Hocking

Trad climber
Redding, Ca
Nov 13, 2012 - 07:12am PT
Game Over,
Lost my Father a few hours ago.
His 3 sons stood vigil at the hospital for 2 days and when we found out his
kidneys had shut down we unanamously decided to get him home and gather all family members for the final goodbye. My family made the 10 hour drive from Redding to Oceanside on short notice and arrived 30 min. before Dad
got home from the hospital. Hospice worker delayed the seditives long enough for the entire Hocking Clan to thank him for being the great father
figure he was and give him support before he left this life. He was even able to be introduced to his 4 mo. old (only) Great Grandson and was able to see him and touch him for the first and last time which brought a small smile to his face. Once the entire family had their time with him the end came quickly and he passed 5 hours later with his 3 sons and 1 daughter in law at his side. He now rests in pain fee peace with the love of his life my mother Marilyn, glad you have reunited.
I've had 2 hrs. sleep in the last 3 days, time to rest.
Thanks Pops!
Love always,
Tad
Gary

Social climber
Right outside of Delacroix
Nov 13, 2012 - 07:22am PT
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
USA Moundhouse Nev. and land o da SLEDS!
Nov 13, 2012 - 07:32am PT
Sorry Tad.. SALUTE to your Dad of the Greatest Generation.

You were with him from the start to the end. Ill say a prayer for You the Family and the spirit worlds Newly Crowned king...

and You try and get some sleep...
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Nov 13, 2012 - 07:50am PT
Tad,

Sending my sincere heartfelt condolences to you and your family...
take care of yourself and get some much deserved sleep..

Saludos..
nita..
.........................................




Ec, Father just passed away, and his family had a Memorial on Sunday.
Sending heartfelt condolences his way..also...

Best wishes...
nita..



splitter

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Nov 13, 2012 - 08:07am PT
Very sorry to here of the loss of your father Tad, prayers going your way, may he rest in peace!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Nov 13, 2012 - 08:18am PT
hey there say, T hocking (tad)...

my condolences to you at this hard time of sadness, as your dad is now gone...

holding the joy, though of how he got to see the baby, and the family...
that is the best 'las memory' for many to cherish...

god bless... prayers, as you all begin to move-on, without him,
now...
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Nov 13, 2012 - 09:02am PT
TH

To hold the first of the Great grandchildren and be surrounded by love, comfortable at home. incredible blessing

I wish your family peace and at least some moments of real joy as you all share the stories of his life.
splitter

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Nov 13, 2012 - 11:39am PT


edit: Brian - thnx, bro! btw, the 'old man' this guy is singing about is his grandfather (those are pics of him). it's a true story. he took him fishing one day and had a 'man to man' talk with him. he went directly home and wrote a song about it. he mentions it at the beginning of the 'acoustic version' of this song (maybe i will post it some time). it's a timeless & apropos message for one and all. glad ya liked it!
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 14, 2012 - 08:07am PT
John, you make-a me cry! Thanks. You a stand-up-a guy. Gonna tell you how sorry we all are about the mom you lost, and all the rest of us who lost a loved parent, aunt, or uncle (Ron), just harden the soft up.
We are in it together with respect to our elders. by that i mean we are all the same, if we are quote normal.

Children and old folks, our responsibilties relent, then they return, so many of us are UNPREPARED for the job of caring (or "care-giving"--6 x 1, or half-dozen of the other). The older you become, the less this seems to be true. You spend more time aware of death, but not necessarily thinking of it. Not to the extent that you are obsessed, or fascinated, not that at all, but maybe more like bugged by it like a fly, it hasn't harmed you, but it's not pleasant. And it won't go away no matter what. You need to make your peace with it, because it will always outwit you. You are puny, but large. He is puny-looking, but undefeatable.

So in the face of this, the wise, or the ones who can or think they can afford it, prepare themselves for the inevitable. The grasshopper doesn't do this, and I was one, in one way. I haven't gotten much in life in terms of wealth. I never thought of happiness being at the bank. It's not, in fact, as folks like to say. I did not figure the cost of interment, last rites, etc. The funeral director quoted me $750, extreme low end for cremation. Cheaper than I figured. Do I'm buying a plan. (I haven't made a will, because I haven't got anything worth leaving, it's all analog, bound, or on the heavy side. Future junk, for sure.) But that's just the start. If you need a minister, $$. A hall, $$. Singer/music, $$. Even a single floral display, $$...

So it adds up fast. Play the Boy Scout angle, be prepared. Dad certainly was. The family appreciates it and so do my sibs. Duh.


Tad, it's good that I caught this on the way out the door, almost, for the obsequies for Boomer. Accept my condolence for your loss, know that I will be praying for you and yours at church this morning, and raising a glass to both our dads. I hope you got some rest, too.

Chico's closer to Redding than Merced, but you are more like Merced than any town I've ever seen, there, nita and Andy. I am going to want to stop in and visit when I head north to climb in the Castle Crags with Tad. It's my goal for the spring, to get up in them crags. One of them.

Be with the one you love.

Here's to Roger and Boomer.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 14, 2012 - 08:28am PT
Credit: mouse from merced
A photo of a drawering of me da'. I masterpieced this one at age 9/10 it seems. Such an un-quixotic man was easy to drawer. My mother, such a ravishing glamorous lady, I could only try to capture her.
Credit: mouse from merced

Thank you for the complimentary things, neebee.
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