personal fail moments


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beef supreme

the west
Topic Author's Original Post - Oct 12, 2012 - 03:49pm PT
so, I went to the store yesterday for some food. got some of those cheap bean and cheese microwave burritos (don't like the cheap burritos with the meats- just don't trust the quality of the meats, perhaps it's just ground up tendons and floor scraps cut heavily with TVP...)

anyhow, I get home and realize.... awww, shit! I don't have a microwave. Total fail moment. I was seriously thinking how easy they'd be to cook and duh... well, oven cooked microwave burritos leave a little to be desired (namely texture due to lack of water in the burrito itself) but anything is palatable with enough hot sauce. cholulua or chipotle tabasco are my personal favs.

that was my fail moment of the day, well, yesterday to be precise, but since I just turned the oven on (lunch) I was shamefully reminded of my fail.

Trad climber
the middle of CA
Oct 12, 2012 - 03:54pm PT
I once tried to climb a radio tower and got electrocuted in the side of the head. There's still a scar where there should be a sideburn. At the time you could see my zygomatic bone where it melted a hole through my hood and into my face.

That was one of my personal fail moments
Don Paul

Big Wall climber
Colombia, South America
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:10pm PT
Just fry em up in a pan with oil!

Gym climber
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:12pm PT

I paid $25.00 for a GUD Circle K hooker...

and lost my load within 20seconds of "half and half"...



Gym climber
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:14pm PT

"That un thar, haz a purdy mouff"...


Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:24pm PT
half and half
Shud'a taken a trip 'around the world' first, wuda delayed things for a bit while ya took in all the scenery, etc. (sights, sounds, & taste's) lol!

"Circle K hooker" Uhm...maybe not!!

Gym climber
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:25pm PT

photo not found
Missing photo ID#267673


T Hocking

Trad climber
Redding, Ca
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:27pm PT
Paddle faster, I hear banjo music!!!

Gym climber
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:30pm PT
"Shud'a taken a trip 'around the world' first"...

Like Jimi Hendrix said...

"Are you EXPERIENCED???"...

Appears that you are too...


Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Oct 12, 2012 - 04:45pm PT
oven cooked microwave burritos leave a little to be desired (namely texture due to lack of water in the burrito itself) but anything is palatable with enough hot sauce.

Wrap them in aluminum foil to retain the moisture before you put them in the oven. They will come out better than if you'd used a microwave.
beef supreme

the west
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 12, 2012 - 05:26pm PT
limpingcrab- dude! so do you have a wicked sideburn on one side and just a 'burn' on the other! ?crazy ass story for sure, sounds like you're lucky you didn't get thrown off the tower by the sound of it.
good idea on the aluminum foil. next time I'll have a much 'fresher' lunch.
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
And every fool knows, a dog needs a home, and...
Oct 12, 2012 - 05:38pm PT


beef supreme

the west
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 12, 2012 - 05:39pm PT
whew... whats the story on that one?

Big Wall climber
Kalispell, Montanagonia
Oct 12, 2012 - 05:40pm PT
Hey beefsupreme. Here is my latest. I took off to the edge of nowhere to work for a better life than what I can have by staying home. Good money, just have no time to have anything else. What was I thinking. No life at all outside of the jobsites.

I can see a trip to Zion in the very near future, crack in the cosmic egg, perhaps...??

Burly Bob

Sport climber
Oct 12, 2012 - 05:40pm PT
"It all started with a beautiful woman I was seeing...." - DMT
beef supreme

the west
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 12, 2012 - 05:44pm PT
Yo Bob! it's been a while, eh? I totally hear you there man. I've been working my ass off for quite a while now as well. You going to be headed to Zion soon? I was reminiscing of our trip down there just recently, actually. The weather is probably sooo nice.... fml. Southeast AK isn't the best place to get after it man, I'll tell you that much. I'll shoot you an email.

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Oct 12, 2012 - 05:57pm PT
Prollie my biggest "personal fail" moment was when ('89) I went to change the starter on my '81 chevie van and couldn't crawl under from the front to reach it because my head wouldn't fit under the front axle (twin I beam). So I went around to the side (between f&r wheels) and crawled under.

After changing it, I notice the linkage to the automatic trnasmission. I wiggled it a little, thinking it looked kinda loose. N00b alert, not recommended to try that!! Especially when your parked on a hill/incline and your emergency brake is shot and you didn't block your rear wheels as a precaution.

"KLUNK", was the sound I heard before the van slowly began to move (trannie slipped out of gear into neutral). I grabbed the exhaust pipe/muffler and attempted to stop it from moving. Made a nice try at it, but witin a few seconds it began picking up speed, so I did the only thing I could, wrap my feet around the friggin exhaust pipe, my arms around the muffler and hang on like my life depended on it. Because it did depend on it at that point, as far as I was concerned, since my head wouldn't fit under the front axle.

I recall screaming out at the top of my lungs "HELLLLLLLP", more of an impulse than anything since there was rarely anyone outside on our street. I lived at the top of the street/block and there was a busy, fast moving intersection at the bottom. Cars were generally traveling at the 45 mph speed limit. That's where I was headed, and if I made it through that, I would come to an immediate stop by either hitting one of the pepper trees that lined Pepper Dr., our the building directly across the street.

I had gotten up to 35-45 mi an hour while in neutral and attempting to jump start the van (auto), so I new I was in deep sh#t as it quickly picked up speed. I didn't know what the hell to do. It was kinda like, "How do I wanna die?" time. Let go and get my head squashed like a watermelon, or live a few more seconds and hear the screetch of tires a second before a car T- bones mine and prollie ends up killing them also. Or, maybe it would be a sudden death impact with the tree or building. Neither scenario looked good. Six of one or a half a dozen of the other. Looked like I was gonna end up belly-up in the morgue.

All I remember is that I had a death grip with my arms wrapped around that muffler and my feet on the exaust pipe. Nothing could have pried me off of there. So about three quarters of the way down the street (going @35 mph+) I did the only thing I could think of doing, I yelled at the top of my lungs "JESUS PLEASE HELP ME!" What happened next was, imo, a miracle. My arms/grip was ripped off the muffler. I recall seeing stars, a bright flash of a thousand white pinpoints of bright light (knocked out). And as I came to I heard a voice screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" It was me.

I was pinned under the axle by my hip. My head had made it through, but I had a major headache and it was soaked in blood. My left hip/buttocks felt like it was on fire as it drug along the blacktop until the van slowly came to a hault. I was able to turn sideways/lay flat on my back and unpin myself. I lay there for maybe 2-3 seconds and suddenly notice the van is rolling once again.

I didn't know if I could even stand let alone walk or run I was in so much pain. But instinctively I jumped up, ran down the street after the van and pulled open the drivers door. Then I ran as fast as I could towards the back of the van and turned around. The van was already moving as fast as I could run so I was stairing, for a split second, at the door coming at me and it was about to clip me good if I couldn't get inside. It worked. I managed to jump inside and hit the brakes. Just feet from the busy intersection.

I remember being really shook up. Felt very funny, woozy and light headed. Prollie should have called an ambulance, but I new I couldn't afford that, so I dove myself to the hospital. They said I looked "White as a ghost." when i arrived there. I had two bumps the size of hard boiled eggs on either side of my head. And my levi jeans and boxer shorts on my left hip had a hole worn through the size of a volleyball. And my left hip/buttocks was ground down to the bone. Otherwise I was okay. But, evidently had a concussion, and they kept putting me through the catscan machine monitoring any buildup of blood/swelling under the cranium which would have necessitated a stent/shunt, but it wasn't necessary.

My life has been full of major FU/personal fails, but that one seems to be the first one that comes to mind whenever I end up on one of those Youtube sites/vids that have "major fail" incorperated into the title! lol

edit: "nice road-trip report"! -- Haha, double entendre there, lol! It wud probably qualify as a failed attempt, and be classifed under Epic, eh?
beef supreme

the west
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 12, 2012 - 06:04pm PT

no, seriously, i don't know what to say. that's insane. fukin palm sweat and everything reading it.

nice 'road-trip' report...? oh gawd.

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Oct 12, 2012 - 07:00pm PT
I was pumping gas into the company van on Sunset Blvd while my co-worker sat
in it waiting to head out of Sin City back to nice, safe, boring Seattle.
A late model Caddy pulls up next to me. The door opens and I see about
three and a half feet of prime gam extend outwards as if to exit. When I
look at what the gam is connected to I felt a slight arrhythmia. Then the
blonde head nods towards me in the unmistakeable gesture of "Come hither."
I look around behind me to see who she is really trying to communicate with
and all I see is George in the van. I guess she means me. I walk over to
her and in a well-honed purr she intones,

"So, do you know where a girl can get a bite to eat in this town?"

Seattle? Job? George?

"Uh, well, gee, La Cienaga is right around the corner and there are lots of
good restaurants on it. Now you turn right out of the station and then you...


Still traumatized.

Oct 12, 2012 - 07:14pm PT
Should have stuffed that frozen burrito in Limping Crabs pocket as he climbed that tower.....zaaapppp. Heated right up.

Peeling the hot cheese off Crabs face would have been troublesome right at dinner and all.....
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