Squirrels as Pets. Anybody?

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toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 19, 2012 - 12:07pm PT
-

Not really off-topic, since squirrels and monkeys, for example, are far better climbers than humans will ever be.

Relativity is at play...the squirrels' tiny claws (and monkeys' tiny fingertips) make what appear to be microscopic "handholds" become beefy jugs and mailslots. Witness the squirrel as he quickly climbs his tree.

I'm pondering a mail-order Squirrel Business, an exotic new business line. At issue are city codes and such that prohibit harboring "wild animals" ...but the plan is to semi-domesticate the common tree squirrel, which are plentiful in my backyard. Sending live animals thru the US Mail is also quite common.

Sound stupid? Not really! There's nothing new under the Sun, so entrepreneurship these days must lay squarely on the lunatic fringe (like Chessler). The pet market is saturated, current revenue streams have become diverse. It's all hit or miss. Also, as the Recession continues and society becomes more dysfunctional, people become more neurotically fixated, obsessive about their pets--and people have become bored with just cats and dogs.

When I was a kid you could still buy a monkey in a pet shop, a Rhesus or a Macaque. I'm looking into this too...not sure you can send a live monkey thru the US Mail though.

There used to be a rock climber who owned a rock climbing monkey. Seriously, the monkey could free solo just about any 5.11 face...if it got truly gripped the monkey would sh#t little spheroid turds that would dribble down the rock face. I think the guy was training his monkey to clip the first or second bolts on sport routes.

Anyway, I'm trying to gauge general interest in this, one of about half a dozen business ventures of mine.


Can I put you down for a squirrel?



I'm also thinking about capturing the noisy parrots that live around my house and putting them in a box and sending them to people. Parrots in a pet store cost about $500 apiece!


 
nature

climber
Aridzona for now Denver.... here I come...
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:10pm PT
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
And every fool knows, a dog needs a home, and...
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:12pm PT
You could breed Pit Squirrels.

DMT
neversummer

Trad climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:16pm PT
Put me down for 2...
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:20pm PT
I had one as a pet back in Ukraine, but had to put it to sleep after it killed one of my hamsters.
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
And every fool knows, a dog needs a home, and...
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:23pm PT
You whacked your squirrel? What did you do with it's nuts?

DMT
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:25pm PT
i will take 20......Pet.. or meat....
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:26pm PT
I had a pet squirrel I saved as a baby, so I can give you the scoop.

Baby squirrels are pretty cute and cuddly and mine was tame when he was little. As he got bigger he got more dangerous. Every vertical object (including humans) = TREE to them. They are fast and have long claws. My arms neck and face were covered in bloody scratches for months and he destroyed the house. I'm lucky I still have both eyes. The minute he hit puberty he went totally feral and couldn't be handled at all, so no... they do not make good pets.

I just turned mine loose in the yard and let him go free.

apogee

climber
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:28pm PT
Pet or Meat?

Bruce Morris

Social climber
Belmont, California
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:29pm PT
A squirrel is a good first project for a beginning student taxidermist. Not much skin to treat with alum; easy wire frame mount. Remember to buy some nice beady glass eyes before you begin the project. Change out the old blade in your scalpel too.
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:31pm PT
Then there's those Jedi squirrels that have gone to the dark side.

You REALLY don't want to mess with them.

Sith squirrel
Sith squirrel
Credit: justthemaid
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
USA Carson city Nev.
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:33pm PT
i once had a golden mantle squirrel for a pet.. The dood just couldnt help but nip me when hand feeding him snacks! It was like he was perfectly at home for a few nibbles, then he would sneak in a little nibble off my hand or fingers! Never did get used to that.
apogee

climber
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:33pm PT
I have a neighbor who rehabs squirrels in our area- they get slaughtered on the roads regularly around here. She's been doing it for many years, and the local community knows this well, so she has dealt with dozens and dozens of them over the years.

There have been a few who wound up as longer term 'pets' due to the extent of their injuries (one in particular had damaged their spine in a fall from a tree when their bugkilled pinetree home was cut down), but they don't stick around any longer than necessary. Eventually, they wind up being set free for the reasons jtm describes above.
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:34pm PT
What did you do with it's nuts?

Ate them. Squirrel nuts in my borsh was great!
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:36pm PT
Apogee ..lol, dramatic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2a20_ELqW4&feature=related

squirrel, monkey, mole, chicken, and getting tooled....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugtpn-zWjtI&feature=related
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:40pm PT
i once had a golden mantle squirrel for a pet.. The dood just couldnt help but nip me when hand feeding him snacks! It was like he was perfectly at home for a few nibbles, then he would sneak in a little nibble off my hand or fingers! Never did get used to that.

how did you kill it?
Tami

Social climber
Canada
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:50pm PT
Can I put you down for a squirrel?

I want this on a teeshirt.


Oh, and I'll take 8 to gift to Anders.
Gary

climber
That Long Black Cloud Is Coming Down
Jan 19, 2012 - 12:55pm PT
Flying squirrels are the hot commodity. Plus you get to sell the extras, like a bonding pouch.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jan 19, 2012 - 01:10pm PT
Uh, I have some squirrels in my hood who don't think highly of cages...

Credit: Reilly

As for those damn noisy parrots let's talk. A few years ago I had a pair
of Cockatoos hanging out in my pecan tree for like a month! They woulda
been worth $3-4 grand! Maybe more to Crimpie in Colorado. I think the
resident Great Horned Owl got 'em - they were kinds hurtin' in the camo department.
Grampa

Trad climber
OC in So Cal
Jan 19, 2012 - 01:12pm PT
I saw a guy in Huntington Beach this weekend with a possum on a leash. Ugly, yet cute, but watch out for those teeth.

The possum did not look too happy.

( How do you spell possum ? )
squishy

Mountain climber
Jan 19, 2012 - 01:15pm PT
I looked into getting one a few years ago, they are great as babies but they are not a good pet once they become adults. Selling such an animal would be kinda sad, there are plenty of rehab places that need help, go volunteer and take care of the squirrels if you want to play with them. Or raise one as a baby then let it go once the call of the wild sets in. I have a large tree outside my place, with plenty of squirrels in it, it would be a great place to let them run free once they hit puberty.

here's a good read on it.
http://nature-talk.com/wildlife/squirrels/buying-squirrels.html

a good alternative would be a ferret or a chinchilla they make much better pets.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 19, 2012 - 01:17pm PT
-

once the cheque is cashed and the squirrels are shipped...their behavioural issues are not my problem. De-clawing is an option, I guess. No returns, tho.

-
neversummer

Trad climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
Jan 19, 2012 - 05:02pm PT
Ideas for after the "cute baby" thing wears off...

4 squirrels, cut into pieces
1 c. chopped onion
4 cloves garlic
1/2 c. burgundy wine
1 tbsp. chopped parsley
1 tbsp. flour
1 stick butter
1/2 c. chopped green bell pepper
1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp. chopped onion tops
4 oz. or more mushrooms
Tony's creole seasoning

Cut each squirrel into 8 pieces. Season with creole seasoning. Melt butter in a Dutch oven and fry squirrel pieces until browned all over (and starts to stick to the pot). Add a cup of chopped onions, 1/2 cup of bell peppers and 4 cloves of garlic. When vegetables are soft, add a small amount of cold water and Worcestershire sauce. Cover pot and let simmer one hour. Stir well, add 1/2 cup wine. Cook until tender. Add flour to mushroom liquid, onion tops, parsley and mushrooms. Cook 5 minutes. Combine with squirrels. Serve over rice. Serves 8.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 19, 2012 - 06:30pm PT
-

anyone want to order more squirrels?


-
Hilt

Social climber
Utah
Jan 19, 2012 - 06:46pm PT
I know two people who had pet squirrels. Yup, they get older and wham, all their cuteness is gone and they wreck havoc. Go rescue a cat or dog, they get better with age and they are the best pets.
Hankster

Social climber
Zakynthos
Jan 19, 2012 - 06:56pm PT
i'll take a couple off yer' hands.
Credit: Hankster
rottingjohnny

Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
Jan 19, 2012 - 07:06pm PT
I have a pet squirrel that lives under a boulder outisde my condo...My daughter and i named it Sandy after the squirrel on sponge bob...Sandy loves jeffrey cones...Sandy says hello to all the taco members out there..RJ
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
Jan 19, 2012 - 07:10pm PT
One of my favorite random websites.

"All Squirrels Must Die"
"Home of the squirrel defamation league"

http://deadsquirrel.com/

... although it is FAR less entertaining since they shut down the squirrel-hater's forum. The avatar pics were priceless.

Hankster

Social climber
Zakynthos
Jan 22, 2012 - 11:12am PT
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
USA Moundhouse Nev.
Jan 22, 2012 - 11:15am PT








Jan 19, 2012 - 12:40pm PT


i once had a golden mantle squirrel for a pet.. The dood just couldnt help but nip me when hand feeding him snacks! It was like he was perfectly at home for a few nibbles, then he would sneak in a little nibble off my hand or fingers! Never did get used to that.

how did you kill it






didnt kill him..He eventually took liking to a she skeewarrel and left to make a home of his own...
LEB

climber
PA
Jan 22, 2012 - 11:28am PT
They make good "outdoor" pets meaning you can train them to come up and take peanuts from you then run back to their hideouts. You can get them to take peanuts from your hand but it is very difficult. You can also train them to come to your back door and demand handouts by kicking the screen door and chattering. That is about the extent of it. They make great outdoor pets, very poor indoor ones.

Chipmunks are much MUCH easier to corrupt and they make excellent "outdoor pets." They are much less wary of humans. It is very easy to train a chipmunk to run up your pantleg, crawl up your flannel shirt and then go inside your pocket and stuff their face(literally) with unshelled peanuts. They will put one in each cheek and carry one in their mouth, crawl out of your pocket run down your leg and run off. They stash it and come back for more. Chipmunks can be turned into pets within a day or so. Squirrels take much much longer and will never be corrupted to the same extent.

If the purists had their way, you would be arrested and shot at a firing squad for doing this stuff. They will lecture you non-stop about how absolutely awful you are. Somehow, the world continues to turn on its axis, orbit the sun even though you fed the squirrel a peanut. No doubt we will hear from some of them right here, shortly enough. Once I really did commit a capital offense. Instead of giving the chipmunk a peanut, I gave it a french fry. The statute of limitations has run out so I can freely admit to it. Soon thereafter, the animal developed cardiovascular disease and needed triple bypass surgery and it was all my fault. It cost the taxpayers thousands of dollars to treat the animal and correct the damage I caused.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 22, 2012 - 11:43am PT
--

neversummer: 2 squirrels

Nita: 20 squirrels

Tami: 8 squirrels


These are the squirrel orders so far. I have your home addresses from Linked In and other similar info-tracking websites (hope you don't mind).

The animals will be shipped this evening...an SASE envelope is included, payment is COD, $28 dollar (US) per unit (this includes a "sampler" box of Squirrel Chow) (also, some of the animals may be pregnant) The animals have been de-loused, but have not been de-clawed.

-toad

-
LEB

climber
PA
Jan 22, 2012 - 11:56am PT
toadgas,

Can you supply me with black squirrels for my farm. I desperately want to start a colony of them there? Pregnant black squirrels will be just fine but can you assure me that the father is black also? It is a recessive gene so they will breed true.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 22, 2012 - 12:05pm PT
-

toadgas,

Can you supply me with black squirrels for my farm. I desperately want to start a colony of them there? Pregnant black squirrels will be just fine but can you assure me that the father is black also? It is a recessive gene so they will breed true.


LEB,

this is Los Angeles, where loose white women often chase after NBA black athletes and whatnot, but in my local trees (where I harvest my squirrels) I have never seen any afro-type squirrels, or sexy inter-racial mating going on. Maybe after I fill a few dozen orders...then with the profits I can import some exotic black squirrels from somewhere.

-
Jim Clipper

Social climber
from: forests to tree farms
Jan 22, 2012 - 01:16pm PT
Life imitates art or something like that ...





I was really looking for a better music for the second one. Maybe a little more like the first...



But seriously, take a look at glide ratios of flying animals, physiology, center of mass, etc.

I imagine Mr. Gill, arms perpendicular to his shoulders (forward attack?), with a bed sheet tied to his hands a feet might have given modern jumpers a run for their money. Finally, I would guess that some women could have done much the same, but rings aren't for girls ... (ummm, yeah! boys).

addendum: wing sweep, drag, angle of attack, golf ball divots on the ventral surface to increase laminar flow, well groomed chest hair?

toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 22, 2012 - 03:02pm PT
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

demi-god Honnold is LIGHT compared to those extreme wingsuiters!

But Honnold is even LIGHTER compared to a Flying Squirrel.

Why?

Because Flying Squirrels don't use PARACHUTES to land safely with.

-
BJ

climber
Jan 22, 2012 - 04:06pm PT
Contact Richard Gere, I'm sure he had a squirrel or two in addition to his steady repertoire of hamsters, mice and gerbils
rottingjohnny

Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
Jan 22, 2012 - 04:39pm PT
You just knew a richard gere joke was going to appear...RJ
Lovegasoline

Trad climber
Sh#t Hole, Brooklyn, NY
Jan 22, 2012 - 05:11pm PT
When I was a kid in suburbia, me and my next door neighbor shot a squirrel off his fanatic animal lover mom's birdbath with a BB gun. We wanted to eat it, but not immediately, and the skin was difficult to get off so we put it in a bucket of salt water in the basement and left it. We ended up using pliers to pull the skin off, which wasn't easy, we had to pull really hard for a long time. When his parents were at work we cooked the skinned carcass in his livingroom fireplace with barbecue sauce. The meat was stringy and tough. His mom would have killed us if she ever found out.

Toadgas, couldn't ya burn their testicles out with a wood-burning pen when they are young? That may make them calm and people can enjoy them as pets. Or, you could also sell the wood-burning pens to your customers when the squirrels get a little older.
perswig

climber
Jan 22, 2012 - 05:36pm PT
Hester on release day.










Dale
Lovegasoline

Trad climber
Sh#t Hole, Brooklyn, NY
Jan 22, 2012 - 05:46pm PT
Is he eating a pickle?
perswig

climber
Jan 22, 2012 - 05:51pm PT
Apple.


When polled, the local osprey population overwhelmingly preferred it as their garnish for squirrel al fresco.

We aim to please.
Dale
Hankster

Social climber
Zakynthos
Jan 22, 2012 - 06:47pm PT
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
Jan 22, 2012 - 08:32pm PT
Hankster, is that really one of your photos?

I thought squirrels are aggressive, and would f things up if touched by humans??
Spider Savage

Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
Jan 22, 2012 - 10:07pm PT
Toadgas, couldn't ya burn their testicles out with a wood-burning pen when they are young? That may make them calm and people can enjoy them as pets. Or, you could also sell the wood-burning pens to your customers when the squirrels get a little older.


Sound business advice: Come up with an "upsell" item to increase each transaction. Looks like you've got a business partner.
Hankster

Social climber
Zakynthos
Jan 23, 2012 - 04:57am PT
I was working for a tree service in Boulder when construction was in the shitter. while felling and cutting up this big tree, a baby squirrel rolled out. being as I'm Buddhist in my love for all creatures(cept' monkeys)I scooped it up and put it in a towel in a box and was very careful as I continued bucking up the rest of the tree. as I was working I found the 1st squirrels sibling and put it in the box with the other. they were to tiny to bite me, never seen daylight probably. so I took them to the Greenwood Wildlife Rehab where they were raised and released by now I'm sure. they let me hold a tiny redfox while I was there!!
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
Jan 23, 2012 - 05:14am PT
I'm with ya Hank.

Monkeys... Meh. Hate 'em.
Hankster

Social climber
Zakynthos
Jan 23, 2012 - 05:19am PT
damn dirty apes..
go-B

climber
Habakkuk 3:19 Sozo
Jan 23, 2012 - 07:35am PT
photo not found
Missing photo ID#234592
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jan 23, 2012 - 08:19am PT
My sharp-eyed electrician noticed the effing little bushy-tailed tree rats
have almost chewed through the neutral on my service! Yeah, as in #00 thick-azz wire!

"Mmmmm, this aluminum tastes sooooo gud!"
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 23, 2012 - 08:46am PT
--

Toadgas, couldn't ya burn their testicles out with a wood-burning pen when they are young? That may make them calm

Touching a red-hot blade to a squirrel's ball sac is going to make it calm?

That squirrel will take off like a rocket.




...Twirl-a-Squirrel

vvvvvv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU0C3L_mBVs
-

locker

Social climber
CO
Jan 23, 2012 - 08:49am PT


...
















































"One BB!!!...


toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 23, 2012 - 09:37am PT
--

fun with monkeys

vv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBBhaRMxsn8


-
part-time communist

climber
Feb 10, 2012 - 11:01pm PT
Hey, look what we have here, a stray squirrel managed to escape toadgas' secret underground squirrel breeding/experimentation basement. What the hell was he doing with them? That poor squirrel.

http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10376734-purple-squirrel-goes-free-leaving-mystery-behind

"Now the Purple Squirrel has its own Facebook page with more than 3,800 fans."

Toadgas may be onto something here. LOL
TGT

Social climber
So Cal
Feb 11, 2012 - 09:48am PT
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Feb 11, 2012 - 10:07am PT
I'm with ya Hank.

Monkeys... Meh. Hate 'em.

Languor Monkey In India
Languor Monkey In India
Credit: Karl Baba

These white ones are the more noble ones... Still... today I'm approaching a bridge across the Ganges and his big white monkey jumps in front of me and pokes me in the chest.

I'm like WTF! But realize I have a carrot in my mind.

Ok Dude, if you insist, here's the carrot

Monkey after insisting on my carrot
Monkey after insisting on my carrot
Credit: Karl Baba

Peace

Karl
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 11:08am PT
Hate monkey and monkey type things. Got attacked by a foul Macaque years ago. Hate hate hate and it's not too strong a word.
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 11:21am PT
What ever became of that damned thing next door to your parents? It came over to menace me when I dropped by that time. I didn't know what the hell it was. It didn't move like any sort of animal you would expect in rural Texas.

Gah. I hope it tried to bite a power transformer or something.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 11:22am PT
-

Hey, look what we have here, a stray squirrel managed to escape toadgas' secret underground squirrel breeding/experimentation basement. What the hell was he doing with them? That poor squirrel.

That Purple Squirrel represents my new product line after much tampering with embryonic squirrel chromosomes. There is a generous REWARD for its return.

(I've also been working with possums, trying to make them less ornery.)


*

Hey, Karl Baba, thanks for checking in from India...that "monkey" looks like a mean mofo. Wise idea, handing over that carrot!

-
LEB

climber
PA
Feb 11, 2012 - 11:22am PT
Karl,

That story is SO funny. The big bad monkey - kind of the ultimate bully and shake down story, no? I like the way he poked you in the chest. (I am sure it was less funny to you considering the size of those teeth). It sounds like he shakes down everyone who wants to cross the bridge.

You never answered my question last week. When you go to India, where do you stay?
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 11:30am PT
That fecker is in Florida somewhere last I heard Tim. It was mean and horrible. I'm glad it didn't attack you too (I wasn't the first). Thank goodness his teeth were ground down (he probably doesn't agree) - see the canines they have? I wouldn't have my calf if it weren't the case.

I still am angry about the attack and everyone's response. True, no skin was broken (hence my parents laughing at it as if it was nothing). No sharp teeth, but he had CRUSHING jaws. He mashed up my leg so good the doctor was concerned about blood clots getting me. It too a long time for my leg to heal.

The mom next door (who loved that spawn of satan so much she didn't care when it attached her own kids) died of pancreatic cancer a year or so after I was attacked. Months later, the dad was killed in a car wreck. So, the family is gone and the monkey was allegedly shipped to FL. Hopefully it's getting better care and nothing or no one else was ever attacked.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 11:35am PT
^^^^^^

Can I interest you in a squirrel?


-
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
Feb 11, 2012 - 11:53am PT
Monkeys can't be trusted.
part-time communist

climber
Feb 11, 2012 - 11:55am PT
(I've also been working with possums, trying to make them less ornery.)

Ha!!


;)
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:00pm PT
Love squirrels. Some wander in the house here in the Spring. Pretty cute! No need for additional pets though.

Mom grew up with one - had him for years. An unfortunate slipping accident (ice) ended his life prematurely. :/

toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 12:04pm PT
^^^^^^^^^^

Sad. My mom also "accidentally" slipped a few of my pets into the toilet bowl. Then she "accidentally" flushed the toilet.

-
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:05pm PT
Squirrels are pretty cute. I've always liked them. One of my many childhood nicknames was squirrel. I think my dad called me that one on account of my like of climbing trees. My brother didn't care for the tree climbing so much.

Glad that monkey monster is gone. I didn't realize it had bitten you on the calf! Yeah, ha ha. I'd have laughed, too. >:-(
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:07pm PT
Full on attack. He'd gotten out and I was outside. They are very strong. He chewed up my leg, was clawing at me, bit my fingers - wanted me to pick it up and I wouldn't. Pulled me to the ground. I barely made it back into the house. Very ugly and super scary. Have you seen the stories where they eat off faces, fingers, testicles, etc? It was awful.
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:21pm PT
I've read all about those people mutilated by chimps. That's what is so horrifying about your attack! To think they at least ground that thing's teeth down is little comfort.
part-time communist

climber
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:25pm PT
why are they so crazy vicious?
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:28pm PT
This thing lived right next door, so it may have been territorial. Who knows? When you try to socialize a wild animal, weird sh#t goes down. Its caregiver, the older woman, obviously must have cradled it like a baby. That's why it expected to be picked up.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:28pm PT
Monkeys suck as pets. Our friend rescued a pair of Capucins who were due to
be offed by the research lab at a certain prestigious university he was at.
Sometimes he wondered if he had erred in saving them after he was savaged
a few times. All this despite building them a huge and wonderful outdoor
enclosure with access to an inside enclosure during the frigid California
winters. But then gratitude is also a sentiment many a human finds unable to display.
Of course those poor things had good reason to distrust humans.
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:38pm PT
Exactly. She babied it and allowed it to crawl on her shoulders (even though it was as big as it was). The man, her husband, was abusive toward it. That dynamic was bad - the meaner he was, the more tolerant she was and the more damage the beast did, so the meaner the man became, etc.

So the monkey had gotten out again and come over to my parent's property. He was at their chicken pen (had a thing about pulling the chicken's heads off which was pretty uncool). Anyway, the man next door starts coming over to try to get beast home. Beast sees dad and I think panics. Runs to me to save it (I think in his mind, woman is safe, man is bad). I'm not touching going to pick it up, so it appeared to get very angry at me so it lashed out. It's got me down chomping on me and the man is yelling "kick it as hard as you can!" I couldn't even manage that. I thought I was gonna have my toes chomped off.

You know when people say they are strong? Well, they are beyond your wildest dreams strong. Freakishly strong. And fast.

Now, I hate that beast for sure. But I also felt very sorry for it. It should not be a pet. It should not have had his teeth ground down (ow). It shouldn't have been brutalized by the tyrant dad. Still, following my attack, I was 100% prepared to put a bullet in that beast if I saw it again. Had that attack happened to one of my nieces, I wonder if they would have survived.

BTW, it was featured in an "Animal Cops Houston" episode. It had attacked someone in the city limits. Rather than dealing with it - and that it had repeatedly attacked the three kids in the family - the family moved out to a more rural area as a result.
part-time communist

climber
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:42pm PT
I'm still a little stupefied as to why they are even allowed to be pets?
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:44pm PT
People keep tigers and lions as pets!

Beats me about monkeys.

http://www.petmonkeyinfo.org/testimonials.htm

(I wonder if the nine year old in that link (second story) was attacked by the same beast.)
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:45pm PT
Due to the viciousness of some of the high profile attacks now, laws are getting passed to keep these things in zoos or out of the country.

The poor animal should never have been brought here.

Good link there, Crimpy. People see monkeys on TV and in Disney movies and think they are suitable pets. They need to wake up and smell the monkey poop.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 12:47pm PT
--

It's been documented that several of the larger pet monkeys and a few chimps have served as "surrogate husbands" for lonely, middle-aged women.

The chimp that was in the news a few years back (for chewing off a person's face) often took "champagne" bubble baths with his middle-aged female owner.

I don't even want to speculate about what might have taken place in their bedroom.

 

Hankster

Social climber
Zakynthos
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:53pm PT
this little altercation cost this dude an ear and several fingers. that's how they roll, the go right for the extremities. bastards.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 12:58pm PT
^^^^^^^^^

If I visited "Monkey Island" I think I'd bring along a .30 caliber machinegun, just in case.


Max X...what a GREAT show that used to be!


-
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 12:59pm PT
Me too Toadgas. I'd shoot from the boat though.

That video guarantees a nightmare tonight. Ugh.
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 01:02pm PT
Boy, that guy was a fool! Here's another moron playing with fire. When it's time I suspect he won't just end up with bitten fingers and an ear.



But Brutus is soooo cuddlewee! The guy's final words are "They live to be 40. It's so nice that I get to live the rest of my life with my best friend." Yeah, you probably will.
part-time communist

climber
Feb 11, 2012 - 01:09pm PT
awwwww @ baby Brutus!
Hankster

Social climber
Zakynthos
Feb 11, 2012 - 01:21pm PT
look at that monkeys cold dead eyes and then look at the expression on the chicks face. she knows her arm's a goner in a second if coco gets his monkey panties in a wad. damn dirty apes.

sorry for the threaddrift toadgas, a small support group is obviously needed regarding "the monkey thing".
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 01:29pm PT
Yes, apologize for the thread drift.

Squirrels are cute!
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 01:29pm PT
Just be glad no one has ever crossed a squirrel with a pit bull.



toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 01:50pm PT
--

I don't mind sharing my squirrel bandwidth with a splinter group of Monkey-Attack Survivors and Victims of Monkey Phobia

That Grizzly bear "owner" is a total f*#king dumbsh#t, though. He's got Oprah brainwashed. Someday that dope is going to get eaten by that Grizzly bear and then he will be crapped right out of that bear's anus.

 
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 01:51pm PT
Hahaha! Excellent visual Toadgas.

You'd think he'd learn by how Grizzly Man's life ended. Chomp chomp chomp.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:01pm PT
I'm still a little stupefied as to why they are even allowed to be pets?

If said monkeys are lab rescues then perhaps 'pet' is a misnomer but would
you not make an exception for them?
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:04pm PT
Like this:

Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:12pm PT
Rescues should not be kept as pets, but on a wildlife refuges. Doubt there is enough of such places though.

We have a wildlife sanctuary near Boulder - full of mostly tigers. There are also panthers, lions, camels and other assorted critters that had been pets. There are more live tigers living in the state of Texas than there are in the native lands now! Stupid pet trade.

(All the while acknowledging that I have some Lilac Crowned Parrots. While all of mine, except Henri, were born in my home, I still believe their proper place is the wild. Sadly, their wild environment have been decimated, and the captive bred ones cannot be released. It'd be certain death).
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:22pm PT
Well, Crimps, in my friend's case those monks were in effect at a rescue
facility. Especially seeing as how David had done post-grad research on the
nasties* and actually made no effort to domesticize them. The only times he
handled them were when they bolted and then it got ugly - welder's gloves
only diminished the carnage!

* In the wilds of Peru. He was not associated with the lab that had used them.
Dirka

Trad climber
SF
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:28pm PT
It started as teaching a squirrel to catch. Took a bit but he learned after many beaners. Then he ate from my hand. Then he was caught with blue berry pie all over his now purple face; hence his name blueberry. But after he became familiar with my kitchen cabinets and ate all my food when I was out, I had to administer the tuff (squirt gun) love.

DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM!
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:29pm PT
Rescue facility sounds good too.

I just strongly believe they shouldn't live in a house and be treated like a pet - dressed up in frilly outfits, roaming freely in a home, put on a leash to take into public, etc.

I think we are on the same page about that, no?
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:31pm PT
One of the press clippings on that monkey site was about some disabled person that had a trained helper monkey(!) Of course the guy took it out in public and it bit a kid.
part-time communist

climber
Feb 11, 2012 - 02:59pm PT
British animal liberation activists break into a laboratory in Cambridge and are caught by a scientist while trying to free some chimpanzees being used for medical research. Despite the warnings of the chief scientist that the chimps are infected with a virus dubbed "Rage", which he claims is highly contagious and only takes one bite to spread, the activists open the cages anyway and release the chimpanzees. A chimp attacks a female activist and immediately infects her, and she in turn infects the other members of the group, including the chief scientist when he attempts to kill her.

Does this ring a bell for anyone?

Seems like there is a high prevalence of the use of chimps being associated with viruses, rage, and zombie movies.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 03:21pm PT
-

Dirka...

it just takes a little blueberry pie to turn a squirrel purple? After I've spent 4 years fussing with their nucleotides?

http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10376734-purple-squirrel-goes-free-leaving-mystery-behind

-
Dirka

Trad climber
SF
Feb 11, 2012 - 03:25pm PT
Toadgas...

I assure you that my squirrel was purple due to the pie that I tossed him!

Your science is beyond my trader joes.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Feb 11, 2012 - 03:38pm PT
Oh, Crimpie, we are most certainly in agreement. If'n you can't handle 'em
for their own good with welder's gloves then you ain't gonna dress 'em in
no kinda outfit. ;-)

toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 11, 2012 - 03:41pm PT
Seems like there is a high prevalence of the use of chimps being associated with viruses, rage, and zombie movies



vvvv

Don't know much about zombie movies...

but it was said that HIV came to Europe via a Danish construction worker who coaxed a chimpanzee into making love to him.


-
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 5, 2012 - 09:10pm PT
bump for some important, timely shitt
tornado

climber
lawrence kansas
Nov 5, 2012 - 09:12pm PT
as they say in bouldering "niiiice"
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