Discussion Topic |
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| Messages 1 - 46 of total 46 in this topic |
healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Topic Author's Original Post - May 25, 2011 - 03:04pm PT
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This is the place to ask all those confusing, irritating, or indelicate climbing relationship problems like:
My partner is never ready when I roll up in front of his place, what can I do?
Irritated in S.F.
I'm a trad climber, but all the hot girls go to the bouldering gym, should I suck it up or stand by my principles and only date trad girls or what?
Crimpless in Boston
My partner's hot wife keeps coming on to me at parties, should I go for it or tell him about it? I'm pretty conflicted about it because he ropeguns all the hard pitches when we climb...
Almost conflicted in Margaritaville
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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May 25, 2011 - 03:10pm PT
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Dear Donini: During your youth, when the Yosemite Valley was still filled with glaciers, was there year-round ice-climbing on El Cap?
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Gene
climber
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May 25, 2011 - 03:14pm PT
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Dear Donini,
Did people climb in the pre-Blue Camalot days? How?
g
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apogee
climber
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May 25, 2011 - 03:17pm PT
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'Conflicted in Margaritaville'? That's High Desert country, where the gurlz are almost as hot as the Circle K in JT...
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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May 25, 2011 - 03:42pm PT
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I love it. . . but those cracks about prehistoric climbing hit a little too close to home!
John
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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May 25, 2011 - 03:50pm PT
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donini: the agony aunt of SuperTopo.
His prescription for all ills: Get out of Yosemite, use a blue camalot.
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
SoCal
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May 25, 2011 - 03:55pm PT
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Dear Donini,
You frequently post acerbic comments about California.
Is this because you are actually a closeted Californian?
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Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
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May 25, 2011 - 04:05pm PT
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No Donini is still out putting the final touches on his misspent youth, and isn't yet ready to join me in oldfartdom.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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May 25, 2011 - 04:22pm PT
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And, Donini, cancel the Iran trip, not a good time to be there.
Yes, didn't you know Israel will be going "over the horizon" there any minute now??
Blechhh, get a new tune Fatty.
Dear Donini,
I want to be a wall man and an ice man and a boulder man and a free solo man, but it just seems like too many masters to serve. What should I do?
Scattered in NM
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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May 25, 2011 - 04:22pm PT
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Ha, ha, ha.....gave a young climber good advice once. He said that he and his friends were debating whether to date girls who climbed or girls who didnt. I said I had gone both ways and couldn't say which was best but......if you want to date a girl who climbs, check out her hands and make sure they're the right size for green camalot cracks because you'll never get up them without hanging.
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Roger Breedlove
climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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May 25, 2011 - 04:35pm PT
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Old time qoute from Donini in pre-blue-Camalot days, when the glaciers still towered high above us, tools carried clubs, and all campling was out of bounds.
"I am wise enough to know that I don't know."
Socrates later ripped off Jim for this qoute. Jim was away on a special ops for the Spartans in Persia and Socrates didn't expect him to come back. But Jim always comes back.
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Gene
climber
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May 25, 2011 - 05:11pm PT
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Dear Donini,
In one of your recent columns, you mentioned you once went 11 weeks without a shower.
Is it difficult for you to find partners?
Stenched Out in Stockton
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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May 25, 2011 - 05:14pm PT
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Dear Donini:
Be careful what you post on a discussion forum.
I said I had gone both ways and couldn't say which was best but......
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 25, 2011 - 05:15pm PT
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I want to know how many times a year Donini goes to Switzerland to get entirely transfused with the blood of burmese orphans.
Just saying,...
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Prod
Trad climber
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May 25, 2011 - 05:20pm PT
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Dear Donini,
I have heard that tape is for aid climbing. I would love to climb cracks but am worried about the appearance of my hands.
Patiently waiting for your advice,
Thanks,
Hand Model from Berkeley, Ca
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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May 25, 2011 - 05:43pm PT
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I want to know how many times a year Donini goes to Switzerland to get entirely transfused with the blood of burmese orphans.
It's Transylvania. The dude is a feckin' vampire. The Burmese orphan blood is only so he can go out in the daylight......
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Ain't no flatlander
climber
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May 25, 2011 - 05:58pm PT
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Dear Donini,
I've heard you said that Matthes Crest is the best climb in the US but I don't have trad gear. Can I do it with a rack of quickdraws?
Future Hardman
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habitat
climber
grass pass
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May 25, 2011 - 06:04pm PT
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So, Donini, after all these years....
Maestri.....did he or didn't he?
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Gene
climber
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May 25, 2011 - 06:38pm PT
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Cosmic,
My, oh, my you sick puppy.
g
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 25, 2011 - 07:10pm PT
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LOL
Who's the guy on the left?
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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May 25, 2011 - 07:12pm PT
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Dear Donini,
Was it boring when there was only igneous rock to climb in the beginning?
How did you prepare for sedimentary and metamorphic stuff when that later came along?
What do you think will be next?
My climbing girlfriend uses crack gloves, and I'm a little embarrassed. What should I do?
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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May 25, 2011 - 08:43pm PT
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Jim, I'll bet anyone here one million dollars that Bridwell was the first one up - all the way up - the compressor route. I've heard the stories and all the details - I actually interviewed Jim for Mountain about this like 200 years ago and I'm convinced that the Bird got up the thing first.
And you?
JL
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 25, 2011 - 08:45pm PT
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Asked and answered Largo.
Everyone here knows Jim finished it.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 25, 2011 - 08:51pm PT
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You drink Buttwiper?
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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May 25, 2011 - 09:01pm PT
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Largo, I think you're right.
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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May 25, 2011 - 09:04pm PT
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My partner's hot wife keeps coming on to me at parties, should I go for it or tell him about it? I'm pretty conflicted about it because he ropeguns all the hard pitches when we climb...
Almost conflicted in Margaritaville
i cannot pretend to have donini's knowledge but this is easy. if your partner's wife is hot and he has money then drop his ass a great distance next time out....
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Decko
Trad climber
Colorado
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May 25, 2011 - 10:59pm PT
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Dear Dininosauraus.......
Why oh why do you travel far away to go climb when you have not traveled the comparatively short distance to Cody Wyoming for Ice Nirvana ???
Why oh Why ???
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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May 25, 2011 - 11:12pm PT
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Hawkeye: For some reason: I thought about this question, while out pulling weeds on the ranchette this afternoon.
Pulling weeds: clears my mind wonderfully.
Re your comment:
i cannot pretend to have donini's knowledge but this is easy. if your partner's wife is hot and he has money then drop his ass a great distance next time out....
Your thoughts do not work in Donini-world, or the real world.
Here's my thoughts on the rules.
First rule is: don’t think with your penis. Penises don’t think well.
Second rule is: Don’t mess with the wife of someone who is your friend. You will be sorry.
Third rule is: If you can’t work through the first two rules: don’t climb with someone who is pissed off at you.
Fourth rule is: Don’t think with your penis.
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guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
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May 25, 2011 - 11:23pm PT
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There once was a lad named Donini
Who some thought a bit of a meany
Cantankerous at best
He slandered the rest
While frontpointing a slab of Linguine
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this just in
climber
north fork
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May 25, 2011 - 11:46pm PT
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Hey Donini, did Jesus smoke pot?
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 25, 2011 - 11:48pm PT
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An old climber named Jim had a rack.
To the Creek he would always come back.
He'd corner some prey,
And, "just for the day,.."
He'd sandbag with a "pre-wired" crack.
(Jim, its not a secret any more,..lol)
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couchmaster
climber
pdx
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May 26, 2011 - 10:01am PT
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There once was a climber named Jim
Who's build was lithe, lean, and slim
he said with a grin, while wiping his chin.....
wait -needs work, I'll be back
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Roger Breedlove
climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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May 26, 2011 - 11:49am PT
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I like your poem. Jim rhymes; Arnold doesn't. They both come back. Otherwise, hard to tell apart.
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Prod
Trad climber
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May 26, 2011 - 12:02pm PT
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I think Alpinist MAgazine needs a "Dear Jim" Advice column. 100% non climbing related. How funny would that be?
Prod.
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DJS
Trad climber
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May 26, 2011 - 12:22pm PT
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Dear Jim
I retrieved a stuck BD Number 1 cam yesterday. It had been in a roof crack for 2 weeks and suffered some rust. What is the best way to clean it for further use?
By the way I tried shoving it up my friends ass for placing it in an obvious constriction.
That didn't work.
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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May 26, 2011 - 12:58pm PT
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fritz, you need to lighten up buddy!
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Bargainhunter
climber
Central California
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May 26, 2011 - 02:38pm PT
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Dear Donini,
What was it like to babysit Fred Beckey?
Sincerely,
BH
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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May 26, 2011 - 03:41pm PT
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Dear Donini,
Did you really rest on the 7th day or was that rumor started much later?
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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May 26, 2011 - 03:45pm PT
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I wonder if Jim will enlist Werner's help with the answers? He's a suitably inscrutable oracle.
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Topic Author's Reply - May 27, 2011 - 01:14am PT
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Straight off of RC.com today: Dear Donini...
Help. Climbing with my buddy is a downer
So one of my good buddies is also my main climbing partner and climbing with him has been a freaking downer lately.
He gets really upset whenever he can't send a route or problem after one or two tries and it makes him look like a pouty little girl. He punches the wall and walks around like he stepped in dog sh#t without shoes. The thing is that these routes/problems are above his limit yet he expects to magically get better without putting in the hard work and effort. I've tried bringing it up to him and nothing changes.
I tell him that climbing should be fun at the very least and that he shouldn't be climbing if he is going to leave the gym/crag all fumed. I tell him that if he is pushing his limit that he should not only expect to fall, but to fall over and over again. He tells me how much better I am than him at climbing but in a way where he is putting himself down but it is because I worked my ass off (I sent almost every V0, V1, and V2 before even touching a V3 at the gym). I could go on and on.
The worst part is that when this happens his safety goes out the damn door. We were climbing on TR the other day and there was literally 15 feet of slack in the system which I know isn't a "big deal" compared to lead falls but it's not necessary. (I was climbing on an overhanging route and the rope was drooped over my shoulder and I couldn't see it, otherwise I would have stopped sooner) He stops doing partner checks and I know that it is stupid/mindless stuff like this that is going to get one of us hurt/killed in the future (if I keep climbing with him)
I already have multiple climbing partners but I want to keep climbing with him based on our pasts. How would you guys approach this situation?
TLDR
My good buddy is my main climbing partner. He becomes a whiny little bitch whenever he can't send and his safety goes out the window. What would you do?
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Jennie
Trad climber
Elk Creek, Idaho
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May 27, 2011 - 09:05am PT
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( I jest about Mr. Donini's frankness. I don't have the seniority in the climbing community or the sway on this forum to legitimately honor him.)
...is it true JD and Cesare Maestri were going to co-author a cookbook titled, Rigatoni, Patagonia and Testosteroni? And is it true that every gourmet concoction the Spider of the Dolomites offered, Jim spewed out of his mouth and muttered "disgusting"...especially culinary collaborations with Cesarino Fava.
Wow! That's pretty unequivocal.
So the cookbook never happened. Given Signor Maestri's volatile nature...perhaps he read Mr Donini's curt comments, on this very forum, doubting his lionhearted ascent of Cerro Torre... tore up the book contract, threw the pieces to the wind...
...and demanded Jim return his friendship ring!
Sad there won't be a Patagonia cookbook...perhaps both gentlemen will grace us with collections of their religious sonnets...
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Cloudraker
Big Wall climber
BC
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May 27, 2011 - 09:58am PT
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Dear Donini,
When you said "never trust a fart and never waste a hard-on", what did that mean?
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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May 27, 2011 - 10:07am PT
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Here is an older image of mine I caught when Maestri and J-Do were debating before the World Sushi Summit:
and then later, when J-Do was in Calcutta living with the needy in a vow of poverty and chastity:
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east side underground
Trad climber
Hilton crk,ca
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May 27, 2011 - 11:44am PT
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Dear Donini, Oh venerable Master, I need your wusdom. As I have grown older, I have found that my eyebrow hair has become uncontrolable. It's like it has a mind of it's own. Delicatly balanced on my stance, sending my 5.7b pink point , suddenly it strikes. Straight for the eyeball! Forcing me to retreat in dishonour. I have heard that you have overcome this by intense training and meditation. Is it true that you must climb with a full rack of only blue camalots, but never place any. All this while dry-tooling shitty rock on some ice chocked , avalance prone, 8,000 mt peak, with no food or water while listing to your insane partner rant about the slander he recieved on super taco. Then you must carefully braid the eye brow hair, which has stood on end due to intense fright, while on lead?I have heard that your eyebrow hair is a silver rope of braided glory.
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reddirt
climber
PNW
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May 27, 2011 - 11:52am PT
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Dear Donini,
Is it true that if I keep eating Luna bars I will grow boobies & have the urge to go shopping & get mani-pedi's?
Your advice & experience is appreciated.
RD
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the goat
climber
north central WA
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May 27, 2011 - 01:42pm PT
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Dear Donini,
Is Overhang Overpass really a free route?
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