Homo Climbtastic 2011: Queer + Climbing = Success

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Alex Rowland

Sport climber
Athens, GA
Topic Author's Original Post - May 22, 2011 - 11:05pm PT
Homo Climbtastic Hosting 3rd Annual World's Largest Queer LGBT Gay Climbing Convention Ever (This time post-rapture!) July 14, 2011

Thanks to the rapture, we no longer have to pretend that we are conforming, law abiding citizens adhering to any common standard of decency--meaning this will not only be the biggest, but also the FUNNEST Homo Climbtastic convention in history! Details of the coming frivolity:

DATE AND LOCATION: As usual, we're at the New River Gorge, in West Virginia, in the middle of July. July 14-18, 2011 to be exact.

STILL COMPLETELY FREE: Well, we're not paying for your campsite fee, but we're not charging you to hang out with us. That's what Rentboy is for.

MORE VAGINAS: Yes, more vaginas! HC is recruiting harder than ever to get more womyn out there making HC herstory. But we can't pretend they're all gonna be lesbians, because at Homo Climbtastic, it rarely takes anything more than a strap-on and two shots of tequila to make anyone feel a little bi-curious. I'm already reading internet articles about tongue movement in order to lose my gold star--and if you don't know what a gold star is, get ready to lose yours too! Forget vagina monologues, get ready for vagina dialogues!

STRAIGHT MEN: They kind of wander in like lost dogs, but just to make sure you know, you're welcome too! And an untapped resource for all you heterotronic crag hag females out there. Sure, we know all it takes for you straight girls to get laid is show up at Miguel's in a sports bra and a star in your eye (I just need a six pack... of PBR... for myself), but at least you'll wake up smelling good and probably without scabies. Probably. We think we picked up some of our guys in Kentucky because they wanted rides to cooler territory and couldn't afford flights to Bishop.

MORE CRAZY COSTUMES: Last year's climb in drag was... last year. This year's costume climbing contest: furry costumes! (While we're on that note, where the F do those people get those things? Do I need to sew this rabbit outfit myself?) And this time, we may even do it on lead. Even though bunny heads are heavy. Expect plenty of super awesome FA's (furry ascents)!

MORE FORGIVING ITINERARIES: In the past, we've never scheduled anything at crags with climbs below 5.10, which made it hard to bring friends who aren't super strong climbers but may be necessary to help pay for gas. With several groups of 20-30, this time we'll have itineraries to please anyone, whether they climb 5.7 or 5.14.

REGISTER NOW: So get on it. Go to www.homoclimbtastic.com and click the big fat link at the top to register. Cause we're rad and we know it. Also, we have a strict no whiner policy, which includes whining about which stereotypes we do or don't fit into, climbing too hard or not hard enough, not putting the convention in your back yard, and not baby sitting your noob friends. We dun do none of that, kids, and we dun tired of answering e-mails about it.

We'll see the rest of you homegirls at the New, baby!

Rowland

P.S. We do, however, encourage whining on the SuperTopo board itself, about anything, including homophobic rants from your resident closet cases, because it bumps our press release to the top and it's hard to compete with all these weird threads about republicans and religion. Kthx!



Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
May 22, 2011 - 11:09pm PT
Looking forward to the TR! Have a great time and be safe.
jogill

climber
Colorado
May 22, 2011 - 11:24pm PT
This is for real??
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
May 22, 2011 - 11:27pm PT
I believe so John, you've never heard of this climbing club?
http://homoclimbtastic.com/

Tarbuster should check out their article on shoes...
jogill

climber
Colorado
May 22, 2011 - 11:34pm PT
well . . . . . gosh!
Daphne

Trad climber
Mill Valley, CA
May 22, 2011 - 11:37pm PT
Last years trip report was fabulous. Cant wait for this one.
Alex Rowland

Sport climber
Athens, GA
Topic Author's Reply - May 22, 2011 - 11:57pm PT
I take great pride when people are incredulous of what really amounts to a pretty straightforward description of Homo Climbtastic.

Here's the third part of the trip report from last year's convention: http://homoclimbtastic.com/2010/07/30/supertopo-trip-report-nrg-2010-part-3/

...so you can click around there and get an idea of what it's like.

I'm not sure I'm ever going to stop seeing pictures of me climbing in a dress.
cleo

Social climber
Berkeley, CA
May 23, 2011 - 12:04am PT
Best. PS. Ever.


Hahahahaha! I wish you guys were out west, I'd totally come hang out!
AlephZer0

climber
May 23, 2011 - 12:05am PT
Rad press release, Ra-ra! You crack me up! :-)
Cloudraker

Big Wall climber
BC
May 23, 2011 - 12:11am PT
Nice job on the website and awesome logo!

Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
May 23, 2011 - 01:13am PT
Still trying to figure out why West Virginia. I've never been there, but it doesn't sound like quite the place for such an event. Royal Robbins was born in WV, but that's a rather tenuous link. And it seems unlikely that it's Deliverance-related.

Is there any thought to holding the event in a different location each year?

Bump.
nutjob

Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
May 23, 2011 - 01:48am PT
Bump for love.
Daphne

Trad climber
Mill Valley, CA
May 23, 2011 - 01:51am PT
just wanted all the straights on the taco to know what a gold star is (I am actually straight so I had to look this up):

a gold star lesbian has never slept with a man
Peter Haan

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
May 23, 2011 - 01:53am PT
Tami, actually John Gill and I are going as an "item"! Can't wait, but Johno is struggling with his usual concern towards what will be appropriate attire. Me, I am still a slob and will hold fast with the Hawaiian mumus.

Tami edit: muumuu
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
May 23, 2011 - 01:55am PT
this is so gay....
Leggs

Sport climber
El Presidio, Tucson
May 23, 2011 - 02:14am PT
I agree with Cleo ... BEST Post Script. Ever.

Bump Bump.
slobmonster

Trad climber
OAK (nee NH)
May 23, 2011 - 02:22am PT
I have a gold star. True story!

Hope you cats and pussies have fun at The New.
MisterE

Social climber
Cinderella Story, Outa Nowhere
May 23, 2011 - 03:42am PT
You folks know how to cut loose!

LOVED the TR from last year *insert swishy wrist flick*

rlf

Trad climber
Josh, CA
May 23, 2011 - 11:33am PT
Good for you folks. I think this is a great event.

Looking forward to your TR. You should do one of these in Joshua Tree. I would definitely mosey on by, and offer my guide services for free if I have the time.
couchmaster

climber
pdx
May 23, 2011 - 11:45am PT
LOL, funny sh#t Rowland, I'm wiping the coffee I sprayed off my monitor at work.....

Keep up the good work!
Gene

climber
May 23, 2011 - 12:53pm PT
You gotta have the event at Spooner Crag some year.
Hawkeye

climber
State of Mine
May 23, 2011 - 01:11pm PT
lets take up a collection and send bluering and radical....
jogill

climber
Colorado
May 23, 2011 - 04:58pm PT
Tami, actually John Gill and I are going as an "item"! Can't wait, but Johno is struggling with his usual concern towards what will be appropriate attire

Don't pin that on me, Peter. I recall your obsession with a certain fashion statement at T. J. Maxx !
Peter Haan

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
May 23, 2011 - 05:16pm PT
Try as you must, Johno, but I keep telling you no one in the northern hemisphere is making anything in leopard patterned lycra this decade. And yes, I know, I know, you still look incredible in it, it's true, no argument. Not even TJ Maxx's "The Pavillion" there in Fort Collins has it; I checked for you. They however do have muumuus, so as I say upthread, I am 'covered' so to speak.
Roger Breedlove

climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
May 23, 2011 - 05:31pm PT
Well if Peter can talk John into going, I'll go. Last year's trip report was great.

I wonder if there is one of those electronic translation devices that I could discreetly use to better follow along in the conversations. I am not sure that I trust Alex to just tell me what something means.
Peter Haan

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
May 23, 2011 - 06:34pm PT
Roger, usually what people are doing is hiring guides.

Since John Gill and I are...uh..."new", that's what we are going to do. We'll make a choice entirely by going through the site's portrait section.
dogtown

Trad climber
JackAssVille, Wyoming
May 23, 2011 - 07:03pm PT
I would recommend they stay away from Wyoming. Just saying!
dogtown

Trad climber
JackAssVille, Wyoming
May 23, 2011 - 07:50pm PT
So I opened the door? Right. Well, is place is a hard place to live, work or climb. If you are straight. People here of open minds are still trying to get over what happen. Others donít care. Me Iím not trying to change the world. Iím sad about it, I Have a sister thatís Gay. So Iím understanding about the lifestyle.But not...
tinker b

climber
the commonwealth
May 23, 2011 - 08:42pm PT
http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/1195642/homo-climbtastics-lgbt-friendly-climbing-convention-july
Matt Bass

Sport climber
Atlanta, GA
May 23, 2011 - 10:32pm PT
Hey, Cleo,

We are out west and held a convention at Bishop in April. Our members also participate and run clubs in San Francisco and L.A. And we're always looking to help people start clubs out there. Anyway, for more information on other LGBT climbing clubs we work with: http://homoclimbtastic.com/links/other-clubs/

There's also clubs in Orlando and Vancouver that aren't on that list, yet.

Matt
matt@queerclimbing.com
press@homoclimbtastic.com
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
May 23, 2011 - 10:42pm PT

matt@queerclimbing.com
press@homoclimbtastic.com

Hey, where's the gayboulderers.com site??? Or the sacktastic.com site for hardcore trad leaders???


WTF?

This sh#t is out of control. Next thing you know there's gonna be a Black Congressional Caucas. And then a Hispanic Congressional Caucas.

What the? What if they made a White Congressional Caucaus? Ho, Man.

That'd be like a normal bunch of dudes going climbing....and not putting labels on sh#t.

Whoa!
Alex Rowland

Sport climber
Athens, GA
Topic Author's Reply - May 23, 2011 - 10:48pm PT
@zardoz: yeah, we know miguel's is in the red--we're probably there more often than the new during the rest of the year--i was referring to the summertime eastward migration of climbers from kentucky to the less hot west virginia and its own infamous pizza joint, pies and pints, which we take over with great fanfare. the july convention is, to be sure, in west virginia.





Lennox

climber
just southwest of the center of the universe
May 23, 2011 - 11:04pm PT


bluering


Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA May 23, 2011 - 07:42pm PT


matt@queerclimbing.com
press@homoclimbtastic.com

Hey, where's the gayboulderers.com site??? Or the sacktastic.com site for hardcore trad leaders???


WTF?

This sh#t is out of control. Next thing you know there's gonna be a Black Congressional Caucas. And then a Hispanic Congressional Caucas.

What the? What if they made a White Congressional Caucaus? Ho, Man.

That'd be like a normal bunch of dudes going climbing....and not putting labels on sh#t.

Whoa!







Labels such as communists or christians?

And are you really saying that only a "White Congressional Caucaus" (sic) would "be like a normal bunch of dudes going climbing?" Because that's what it sounds like.

Look to yourself; you use labels all the time, but then you seem to have a problem when blacks, hispanics and gays do so as well.

I have a few labels in mind for you bluey.
j-tree

Big Wall climber
Classroom to crag to summer camp
May 23, 2011 - 11:50pm PT
Isn't it basically the White Congressional Caucus whenever the general assembly meets?
shiro16

climber
May 23, 2011 - 11:51pm PT
weschrist - Running Funky might be a place to check out for Leopard skin tights.

tinker b

climber
the commonwealth
Jun 15, 2011 - 04:47pm PT
just thought i would give this a mid june bump.
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
Jun 15, 2011 - 05:08pm PT
If Cokjox and BlueBoy slept together who'd have to sleep on the santorum spot?
tinker b

climber
the commonwealth
Jun 15, 2011 - 11:56pm PT
mostly because that some of the best writing i have seen on the taco. it makes me smile.

i was pissed today and needed a giggle.
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Jun 16, 2011 - 12:41am PT
Look to yourself; you use labels all the time, but then you seem to have a problem when blacks, hispanics and gays do so as well.


Who's the f*#king bigot? The person that segregates people based on sexualityrace/ethnicity? Or the person that that says let's just ignore all that crap and be Congressmen or climber's?

Why does there need to be a Black Congressional Caucaus or a Homo Climbers Club? Isn't that bigotry...by definition???

And when did I say there there's a problem with those people doing well? WTF??
MisterE

Social climber
Cinderella Story, Outa Nowhere
Jun 16, 2011 - 12:45am PT
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Jun 16, 2011 - 01:15am PT
Rox + Bluey + santorum...

Not a pretty picture.

Almost as ugly as ignorance.

GOclimb

Trad climber
Boston, MA
Jun 16, 2011 - 12:48pm PT
Shiro wrote: "weschrist - Running Funky might be a place to check out for Leopard skin tights."

Exactly what I was going to suggest. Weschrist, might I suggest that these would go gloriously with your eyes?


looool

GO
ydpl8s

Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
Jun 16, 2011 - 01:23pm PT
What I want to know is what are the club sanctioned tunes for the soundtrack of this soiree.

When I was a younger (single-straight) man in Denver, we used to go down to TRACKS, the alternative lifestyle club down by (you guessed it) the train tracks. Hands down, the best sound system, most outrageous entertainment, and most varied music in town.

edit: Also, the most liberal wristed pouring bartenders, those guys would make sure you could taste the booze in the drink.
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
Jun 16, 2011 - 06:14pm PT

Who's the f*#king bigot? The person that segregates people based on sexualityrace/ethnicity? Or the person that that says let's just ignore all that crap and be Congressmen or climber's?

Why does there need to be a Black Congressional Caucaus or a Homo Climbers Club? Isn't that bigotry...by definition???

Wow. Are you really that ignorant?

A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.

Pride in being part of a group is being devoted. There's nothing wrong with being devoted, e.g. patriotic. It's the animosity toward others that makes you a bigot.
Kingsley

Gym climber
Provo, Utah
Jun 16, 2011 - 06:22pm PT
maybe another good place would be St. Georges, Utah

Come to Provo. My crazy dad and sister could use the heart failure.
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Jun 16, 2011 - 07:26pm PT
Wow. Are you really that ignorant?

A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.

Pride in being part of a group is being devoted. There's nothing wrong with being devoted, e.g. patriotic. It's the animosity toward others that makes you a bigot.


I have no animosity towards gay people, did I ever say I did? I just disagree with the lifestyle. I get along fine with gays.

EDIT: It appears the definition of 'bigot' has changed too. Find a dictionary (in print form) from the pre-PC era of the eighties or nineties. Your online copy/paste definition is totally PC.
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jun 27, 2011 - 01:03am PT

Who's got the boas?????
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jun 27, 2011 - 01:08am PT
All right, I admit it - one of my favorite movies is "Priscilla - Queen of the Desert."





I know, I should have posted this on the "What's the hottest you've ever looked" thread.
AlephZer0

climber
Jul 10, 2011 - 11:37pm PT
I would recommend they stay away from Wyoming. Just saying!

Actually, Wyoming's not a bad idea for next year, although the New has been pretty damn awesome. Maybe do a fall trip to Ten Sleep or Sinks Canyon, though? Sinks would be ideal, with sport/trad/bouldering and granite/sandstone/limestone all close to the amenities of Lander. Pretty sweet!
Darwin

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Jul 11, 2011 - 03:40am PT
I have no animosity towards gay people, did I ever say I did? I just disagree with the lifestyle.



I hope this is just well baited troll and not just something f*#king else. ... . but: What life style is that? Is it the life style of being some of the best parents and people I know? Is it a friend who stuck by his partner during the start of the AIDS epidemic in the 80s with a loyalty and devotion that as you get older, you better hope someone you know posses? And this was when we in the health care and biosciences research didn't know what was happening. Is it someone who regardless of sexual orientation makes me uncomfortable with their choices, independent of sexual orientation.


grrrr...

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