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10b4me
Ice climber
Happy Boulders
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Feb 10, 2011 - 12:30am PT
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thanks for that Dean. You put it very eloquently.
It takes guts to go on a public forum and express remorse.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Feb 10, 2011 - 12:32am PT
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That was a very brave way to open up. We all have things we need to deal with directly, and maybe that will help us do so. Thank you and good luck.
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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Feb 10, 2011 - 12:35am PT
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Cragman...Sh#t happens...We all go off on wild tangents and do stupid things in the name of pride which we may regret later....It seems the downfall comes shortly thereafter...? If you need some good ideas for some pranks watch Grumpy Old Men....rj
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Feb 10, 2011 - 12:48am PT
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hey there say, dean... you know...this is what is known as loveing others, from god's standpoint--when our 'self' does not get in the way at all...
say, you are stepping up to, and onto, solid ground here...
edit: say, remember that part of a famous song:
lord lift me up and help me stand, by faith, on heaven's stable land...
a higher plane, that i have found, lord plant my feet on higher ground... :)
and you know what, this honest open share, of yours, will bless and humble many hearts... we are here to be friends in life, and sometimes being friends, means to die to ourselves, and live in such a way that others blossom... the blossoming only means that there is that much more sweetness, in our life, and we in turn, get rid of our 'stinky old petals' and we TOO then, are free to blossom and the 'ball rolls on'...
god bless to you, dean/cragman...
may you and doug now have many wonderful years being neighbors, as his body heals, and your 'share' here, heals, within you...
wow, supertopo sure is a place of very speical climbers... all taking many different climbs, but all knowing that the view is something mighty powerful and beyond us--though each new climb, makes sure to let us know, that, "the view is really there to cherish"...
god bless to you this eve...
say, this night, to your family, as they are the ones that see you daily, as you grow--you are NEW man...
:)
:)
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Feb 10, 2011 - 12:52am PT
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There are a lot of mysteries in this life, but one thing I know for sure is that you don't get to redo the past. So keep your focus on the future, and keep helping your friend. That's what counts.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Feb 10, 2011 - 12:55am PT
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hey there say, ghost... wow, i was just adding an edit and i saw your post...
wow, that is for sure... what a sweet note...
well, god bless all... it is nite-nite for me, here, earlier than usual...
:)
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em kn0t
Trad climber
isle of wyde
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Feb 10, 2011 - 12:56am PT
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"a heart is like a parachute, it only works when it's open"
touched by your words, and your open heart
namaste,
em
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Jan
Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
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Feb 10, 2011 - 01:01am PT
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Regret is a useless emotion and every day presents new opportunity.
Thank you for sharing. I love your statement that transparency is part of the road to integrity.
Sometimes integrity demands that we part with old friends as well.
I'm glad that in your case, you were able to reunite.
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froodish
Social climber
Portland, Oregon
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Feb 10, 2011 - 03:22am PT
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One of the most heartfelt things I've ever read. Thanks.
Cheers Cragman,
-S
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Feb 10, 2011 - 05:00am PT
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Nice Dean.
I've had a couple falling outs that were recovered from and a couple that probably never will.
Good on you for making the effort to make this one go away....
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Trad climber
Will know soon
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Feb 10, 2011 - 09:56am PT
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Peace from lynnie.....may we work together.
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Ricardo Cabeza
climber
All Over.
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Feb 10, 2011 - 02:22pm PT
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Thanks man, very humble of you. It brings to mind a couple of very important fences that I need to mend.
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Levy
Big Wall climber
So Cal
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Feb 10, 2011 - 07:55pm PT
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A very touching read. I too have had differences with others & over time, I have rekindled those friendships with those whom I had really connected with in the first place.
Life is way too short to hold grudges.
Thanks for sharing some humility with us.
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mctwisted
Big Wall climber
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Feb 10, 2011 - 08:42pm PT
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thanks cragman, you just talked me into getting ahold of one of my old buddies that i kinda butt heads with (alpha dog thing)
thanks bro
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High Fructose Corn Spirit
Gym climber
Full Silos of Iowa
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Feb 10, 2011 - 09:16pm PT
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Cragman,
That was the BEST thing I read all day. Thanks for posting up. (TFPU) If ever I were to break a leg on Third Pillar, say after an unexpected lightning strike, just sayin, :) and then partially eaten by tuolumne vermin, I'd want you - a man of passion and integrity - to be among my rescuers.
Good luck with everything.
Take care.
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TYeary
Social climber
State of decay
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Feb 10, 2011 - 09:28pm PT
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That took a lot of sand to publicly express yourself open and honestly like that Dean. At first it seems like a risk to be that open, but in the final analysis it really comes from a place of strength and love.
Although we have only briefly met, I'm proud to call you a friend!
TY
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Wade Icey
Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
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Feb 10, 2011 - 09:49pm PT
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Well said Dean.
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Feb 11, 2011 - 12:17am PT
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You made me think. I've been mourning a friend who seems to have abandoned the friendship, and wondering if I could open the door to that friend when the doorbell rings again someday. Yesterday is never as important as right now. Thanks.
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Fletcher
Trad climber
from the place of breath
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Feb 11, 2011 - 02:32am PT
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Peace to you Dean... Thank you for sharing your journey... I think it goes beyond helping you and Doug (huge in itself) but also seems to be inspiring others as well.
To paraphrase eKat: the magic is alive and well!
Eric
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Charlie D.
Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
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Feb 11, 2011 - 09:24am PT
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There's a whole lot of stuff or baggage we collect on this journey, your core is what really count's. You're a good man Gragman and I hope to meet you along the trail some day. In the meantime continue to Live Well, Love Much and Let Go!
Charlie D.
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stilltrying
Trad climber
washington indiana
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Feb 11, 2011 - 11:08am PT
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Great post Cragman. I had a similiar falling out with the guy that taught me to climb and with whom I had many wonderful adventures. It was a difficult situation at times and I did not really understand it. We worked in the same building but not the same area and when I would run into him it was awkward. I took it hard because basically he was somone I considered like a Brother at times and finally I realized it was his personality and way of handling life. I moved on past it and we were just casual friends from there on out. During those years I suffered major heart isues and he remained very healthy and in a way I was jealous of that. Three years ago Thanksgiving week I arrived at work to hear that Mike had been killed in a wreck on his way to work. It shook me to my core.
Going to the funeral home with my son Joshua who knew Mike also I was nervous about how it would go because I had not spoken to Mikes wife Nancy
in a few years. By the casket was a collage of drawings I had an artist make from photos I had taken over the years of Mike on variuos climbs from Whitney to Seneca to the Red River Gorge. I had given him this as a Christmas present a number of years ago. When I hugged Nancy I cried for five minutes and could not let go. Last year Mikes Daughter Amber got married and I sat there thinking how sad it was that Mike was not there because he loved Amber very much. My gift to her was a photo album of fifty some pictures of Mike on climbing trips. I wrote a little something by each photo. A couple of months later I received a wedding photo from Amber and on the back she wrote that it was the most meaningful gift she had received and she would treasure it. I felt that the circle had been closed and that somehoe Mike was smiling at us.
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
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Feb 11, 2011 - 11:24am PT
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Very moving and touched me in a special place, I'm sure a lot of us have regrets for lost friendships that seemed like they would never end.
What is lost again is found, but not without humility, work and a realization of what are truly the most important things in life, our relationships with each other.
Reading this this morning was a great way to start my day!
Thanks Crag
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mooser
Trad climber
seattle
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Feb 11, 2011 - 12:23pm PT
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Dean, you've made the world a better place today. Thank you.
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Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
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Feb 11, 2011 - 01:56pm PT
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Dean-
I just picked up on this thread, and you have moved me beyond belief. it's a true honor for us here on S-T to have a friend such as you in our midst.
Rodger
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scuffy b
climber
Three feet higher
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Feb 11, 2011 - 02:21pm PT
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Thanks, Cragman and Stilltrying.
A couple very moving posts.
We're so afraid of being vulnerable, in any number of ways.
Vulnerability often leads to strength; it allows people to help you.
Remember old friends we've made along the way
The gifts they've given stay with us every day.
Mary McCaslin
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graniteclimber
Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
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Feb 11, 2011 - 07:31pm PT
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Cragman, I know I've tried to yank your chain on some of the other threads, but thank you -- God bless you!
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Pastor Dave
Social climber
Yucca Valley, CA
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Mar 14, 2011 - 11:54am PT
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Hi, went back over my thread this morning and saw your link. Thanks so much for sharing your spiritual journey through a difficult situation. I have been impressed once agin with the fragility of life as we watch the pictures from the devistation in Japan. I am having some difficulty in focusing while I waite to hear the latest news from Paul. Your story was just the inspiration I needed this morning.
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PBockenthien
Boulder climber
Lakewood, CO
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Mar 26, 2011 - 01:11pm PT
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Found this link from Pastor Dave's thread. Thanks for taking the time to explain most of it. Doug emailed me about this falling out, and I could sense a fair amount of angst about it on his end.
We each have qualities that need to be rounded off. Not you, but Doug. I've never met someone as stubborn as Doug. As a Guide, these are great qualities that can be counted on as Doug was stubbornly mister Safety First to the extreme.
But as a friend, trying to connect to the person beneath that thick stubborn as hell interior poseur? It didn't take me but a second to side with you Dean. I assumed that as long as you still had your pacifier you'd be okay! ;-)
I really didn't like Doug's stubbornness because now I had to compete with him in that area too. Be guide like him? No. Be a stronger climber that Mr. Fat Ankles? No. Be stubborner than Doug? Yeah, I'm gonna try and then quickly realized that I wasn't going to win that one either.
But hanging out with Doug has a lot of great positive impacts, just as it does with anyone you share time with, especially in a leading edge of life on the rock. As always, gotta take the lousy with the good.
I've changed since my time with you and Doug. I wouldn't trade it for anything though and I'm very excited to see the thaw between you and Doug happen and even now that I've come full circle with a deeper, richer understanding of faith that I'm sure Doug will disagree with.
The rest I will leave for mano a mano in JT!
Let me add a short note: Marty Snyder visited me a few days after Doug's stroke and we talked 3 minutes out of 3 hours talking about Doug. I said "Doug will make it." Marty nodded in agreement.
I didn't get to say "Doug will make it because he's too freakin stubborn." A stroke like this and for being out as long as Doug was results in a body on the floor, not a guy airlifted to Reno.
As for the rest of it, there would be no more Doug if not for Tobin and Amy.
Peace,
Peter
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Mar 26, 2011 - 02:58pm PT
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I ain't going top make it that weekend. But you guys are gonna have a blast!!! This is gonna be pretty epic.
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| Messages 1 - 29 of total 29 in this topic |
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