Rock climbers and bike racers and bad excuses

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Messages 1 - 16 of total 16 in this topic
Zoo

climber
Fremont, CA
Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 15, 2010 - 12:58pm PT
I've done some climbing and I've done some bike racing and I noticed that my racing teammates and climbing partners have very similar excuses

Rode/climbed hard for the last N days
Haven't ridden/climbed for over N days
Lifted last night so won't do well today
Felt good for the sprint/crux then my shoe unclipped/slipped
Need a lighter bike/lighter rack
I stopped because of Loose gravel/loose rock
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Sep 15, 2010 - 01:28pm PT
"the art of climbing down gracefully"

If I remember that piece, my favorite was to look around at whatever rock wall your were expected to climb, shake your head in confusion, and say: "Nothing like this on the South Col."
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Sep 15, 2010 - 01:52pm PT
Kevin and I had that essay so well memorized that we could just call out the ploy number as we started to back off.
caughtinside

Social climber
Davis, CA
Sep 15, 2010 - 03:13pm PT
The worst one I've ever used:
"My fingers were greasy from those chips"

The worst (best!) one I have ever heard:
"I took some ibuprofren so my fingers aren't quite big enough to fit that crack."
nature

climber
Whereverland....
Sep 15, 2010 - 03:17pm PT
I'm still waiting to use "my blow up sheep sprung a leak".
couchmaster

climber
pdx
Sep 15, 2010 - 03:52pm PT
"Looks like it might rain" starting an overhanging wall...only one cloud seen in the sky.

"Got Poison Oak". Staring up at El Cap, partner and I had slept in the bushes on the way down, he was highly allergic and the last time he'd had Oak had been hospitalized. It was still difficult to see that little dot on his arm and match it with the excuse.
Jingy

climber
Somewhere out there
Sep 15, 2010 - 04:02pm PT
Does "scrotal shrickage" count for both activities?


heard that excuse from an unnamed source...


Ron - that's awesome.. I can just imagine...

"What's going on up there?"

"Everythings f.. huh?....!!


# 27...

watch me!!!"

too funny



can't say

Social climber
Pasadena CA
Sep 15, 2010 - 04:03pm PT
I'm getting sick, I am sick, I was sick.
StahlBro

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
Sep 15, 2010 - 04:51pm PT
"I have to wait for the "trails" I'm seeing to dissipate"
Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Sep 15, 2010 - 07:47pm PT
At one time I was quite active in doing triathlons and some bicycle racing. They seemed to grumble a lot more about their real and imaginary maladies than climbers at that time. Climbers have changed, perhaps.
EP

Trad climber
Way Out There
Sep 15, 2010 - 08:26pm PT
"Has anybody seen my balls?"
ruppell

climber
Aug 21, 2014 - 06:16pm PT
Hold must have broke off.
It's a high gravity day.
Your ropes like a cable.
Too humid.
Too hot.
Too cold.
It's polished.
Dirty pile of crap.
FA sandbagged me.
Not enough wee.
Too much weed.
Not enough beer.
Too much beer.
Kalimon

Social climber
Ridgway, CO
Aug 21, 2014 - 06:37pm PT
The gamey leg ploy works for both.
stunewberry

Trad climber
Spokane, WA
Aug 21, 2014 - 06:54pm PT
"The coefficient of sloth is too high."

To expand this to ski racing, Nat Brown, nordic ski prep guru, figured out that the correct brushing technique aligns the wax molecules to improve glide. This discovery opened up entirely new categories of excuses:

"I had the right wax, but the electron spin resonance was misaligned."

Think of the possibilities.
bhilden

Trad climber
Mountain View, CA/Boulder, CO
Aug 21, 2014 - 10:52pm PT
Interestingly, the top performers in both sports don't make lame excuses for their bad performances. They are not trying to impress anybody or be somebody they are not.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Aug 21, 2014 - 11:31pm PT
It's Sunday. I need to go pray about this knee that kept me off the rock/off the bike last Saturday. Oh, by the way, how's your back? I thought it was killing you?

Hey, nobody's perfect, brother.
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Messages 1 - 16 of total 16 in this topic
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