I need some jokes - short ones.

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Gene

climber

Dec 4, 2012 - 05:41pm PT

Not short, but not overly long.

The Pope is working at his desk when a senior Cardinal rushes in.

Holy Father. I have the most incredible good news and bad news for you. Which do you want first?

Give me the good news first, my son.

Holy Father. Jesus has returned. He’s holding on the phone to talk to you.

My son, what possible bad news could there be on a day like this?

He’s calling from Salt Lake City.

Plaidman

Trad climber

South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA

Dec 4, 2012 - 05:50pm PT

There is a new drink out at the bars in New York.
It's called a Sandy. It's a watered down Manhattan!

I'll be here all week!

froodish

Social climber

Portland, Oregon

Dec 4, 2012 - 06:25pm PT

A baby harp seal walks into a club.

Jebus H Bomz

climber

Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh

Dec 4, 2012 - 06:37pm PT

Heh.^^^

bajaandy

climber

Escondido, CA

Dec 4, 2012 - 06:44pm PT

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll drink beer all day.

cliffhanger

Trad climber

California

Dec 5, 2012 - 11:18am PT

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took
the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

TGT

Social climber

So Cal

Dec 5, 2012 - 05:25pm PT

Hardman Knott

Gym climber

Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca

Dec 30, 2012 - 10:26am PT

I was in bed with a blind girl the other night.

She said I had the biggest c*#k she had ever put her hands on.

I told her she was pulling my leg.

Mighty Hiker

climber

Vancouver, B.C.

Dec 30, 2012 - 10:42am PT

Why was the squirrel doing the backstroke across the pond?

To keep his nuts dry!

weezy

climber

Dec 30, 2012 - 10:55am PT

what does a nosey pepper do?

it gets jalapeño business.

Fish Finder

Social climber

THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

Mar 25, 2013 - 03:49pm PT

Her legs were like butter

They spread easy

Norwegian

Trad climber

the tip of god's middle finger

May 4, 2013 - 06:31pm PT

have you heard the one
about the rich man's widow?
she filled her dress with
stolen eggs!

the people of the town
a gathered 'round
to laugh her down.

when those eggs all broke
and ran down her leg.

manzanita man

Social climber

somerset, ca.

May 4, 2013 - 06:41pm PT

this old couple goes to a marriage councilor. she askes what the problem is. the old man says its sex. she wants it infrequently. the councilor askes.

is that 1 word or 2

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