I need some jokes - short ones.

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Messages 241 - 260 of total 295 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Robb

Social climber
The other side of life
May 8, 2012 - 11:18am PT
What did the man sitting next to a mirror say?


Nothing, he was beside himself!
noskin

climber
jail
May 8, 2012 - 11:18am PT
why did the kid fall of the bike?



cause some one threw a fridge at him.
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
Oct 11, 2012 - 05:30pm PT
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
Oct 23, 2012 - 03:07am PT
there was once a norwegian man
who loved his wife so much,

he almost told her.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Oct 23, 2012 - 07:13am PT
Short jokes. OK.

Evan Bayh (D-Indiana): As much as I love being a public servant, I cannot continue to do so given the current condition of my panties. Theyíre in a bind.

President Obama: I could tell that Evanís panties had gotten all wee-weed up. I offered to have a dialogue with him and his panties. This country needs Evan Bayh, but heís no good to us with his panties in a bunch. Believe me, Evan, if I could reach down in there and untwist them myself, I would, brother. Unfortunately, Iíve got my hands full with Michelle and Hillary.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Oct 23, 2012 - 07:33am PT
From Duck Soup

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'd be glad to make an exception.

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Oct 23, 2012 - 07:36am PT
Irish bean soup always is made with no more than two hundred tirty-nine beans: One more bean and it would be two farty.

Older lizards, especially Colorado Nini lizards, can expect ereptile dysfunction at early onset.--Herpetology Today

Donini was even more crestfallen when he dropped the cap to his toothpaste off a ledge.

He solved his visiting relatives problem by borrowing money from the rich ones and lending it to the poor ones. Now none of them come over to visit.

He tells me that the difference between Colorado and yoghurt is that youghurt has more active cultures.

Forrest Gump went to Bama instead of Colorado. He liked the academic challenge.



"No joke."

I say "balls!"
http://blogs.denverpost.com/beer/2012/10/01/joke-wynkoop-brews-rocky-mountain-oyster-stout/6330/
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Oct 23, 2012 - 08:19am PT
Stupid Ranger Questions

What time does the two o'clock tour begin? Was this all man-made?



Short Jokes

Short skirts tend to make men more polite. We all wait for them to get on the escalator first.

Don't trust guys with short legs: Their brains are too near their ass.

It takes zero radio astronomers to change a light bulb because they aren't interested in short wave stuff.

Even a short pencil is more reliable than the longest memory.



Brown Jokes

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.
Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A Doberman.

Adolph, the Brown-Nosed Reindeer, could run as fast as Rudolph but couldn't stop worth a sh#t.



Tattoo Jokes

Two mates, one a black Jamaican, the other a white Alabaman, are taking a friendly pee. The rastaman notices a W-Y tat on the redneck's thing and he says, "I got 'W-Y' on me peter, too, mon. Whatcha story?"
Elmer strokes himself to an erection so the cat can see that he has "Wendy" tattooed on himself.
"Don't tell me y'all know some bitch Wendy, too," he says.
"Noh, mon, it say, 'Welcome to Jamaica. Have a Nice Day.'"

Is this some kind of joke?
Is this some kind of joke?
A tat of "Tat."  They call him that for short.
A tat of "Tat." They call him that for short.
Credit: onlyonfantasyis.com
"Da plane!"
"Da plane!"
You Ding-Dong!
You Ding-Dong!

Elmer and Wendy? Have a Nice Day, Tacoo!
rockermike

Trad climber
Berkeley
Dec 1, 2012 - 02:27pm PT
Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout, "Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a f*#k up!"
Ricky D

Trad climber
Sierra Westside
Dec 1, 2012 - 02:45pm PT
Why do Brides wear white?

So they match the rest of the kitchen appliances.
nature

climber
Boulder, CO
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 3, 2012 - 11:10am PT
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.

the photon says, "no thank, I'm traveling light".
nutjob

Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
Dec 3, 2012 - 11:23am PT
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to really want to change.
briham89

Big Wall climber
san jose, ca
Dec 3, 2012 - 11:25am PT
So a guy bolts next to a crack...... I can't remember how this one ends
moosedrool

Trad climber
lost, far away from Poland
Dec 3, 2012 - 11:36am PT
4"

:(
Enty

Trad climber
Dec 3, 2012 - 01:25pm PT
So after 10 years of dating and 12 years of marriage the wife has finally said yes to anal sex...........but what on earth is a strap-on?

E
moosedrool

Trad climber
lost, far away from Poland
Dec 3, 2012 - 06:03pm PT
Enty, I am afraid your prostate is going to be checked!

very funny
rwedgee

Ice climber
canyon country,CA
Dec 3, 2012 - 06:12pm PT
If one lesbian c*#k blocks another is it called a beaver dam ?
Edge

Trad climber
New Durham, NH
Dec 3, 2012 - 06:19pm PT
Because he was a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he ever broke wind in the echo chamber he would never hear the end of it.
Burchey

Mountain climber
San Diego
Dec 4, 2012 - 02:46pm PT
Rudder

Trad climber
Costa Mesa, CA
Dec 4, 2012 - 04:12pm PT
Two Peanuts were walking down the street, One was assaulted.

Sorry, lol, I just heard that on Pawn Stars. :)
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