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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Mar 14, 2019 - 06:30pm PT
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I saw an add for an irish T shirt on FB. typical green T shirt with shamrocks on it. DEAR LIVER, I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE A ROUGH WEEK. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Mar 14, 2019 - 07:05pm PT
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An Irishman walked out of a bar.
Not this week!
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clifff
Mountain climber
golden, rollin hills of California
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Mar 17, 2019 - 02:22pm PT
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I was gonna tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
----------------------------------------
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
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capseeboy
Social climber
portland, oregon
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Mar 17, 2019 - 03:04pm PT
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I went to buy some helium.
At the store they said they were all sold out.
I commented, what a downer.
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capseeboy
Social climber
portland, oregon
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Mar 17, 2019 - 04:41pm PT
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National debt-$18 trillion.
Amount each taxpayer owes-$154,000.00
More than I have made in my whole life! Ha Ha
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tooth
Trad climber
B.C.
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Mar 17, 2019 - 04:49pm PT
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that made me laugh.... and be happy i moved
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Mar 17, 2019 - 06:20pm PT
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We gotta politicize this thread, too? 🙄
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Mar 17, 2019 - 11:39pm PT
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hey there say, malmute...
awww... that was sweet... :)
as to the ending:
"It's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. But it hasn't affected me brothers though."
:)
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Yury
Mountain climber
T.O.
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Mar 18, 2019 - 04:34am PT
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tooth:
that made me laugh.... and be happy i moved
tooth, to where did you move?
Don't you want to add your provincial debt to your federal debt?
Do you know that e.g. Ontario debt per capita is about twice as high as California debt?
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tooth
Trad climber
B.C.
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Mar 18, 2019 - 10:02am PT
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$32k combined. Your politics are a joke. Wish this latest one was shorter. But I’m guessing the joke will drag on another 4 years.
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Winemaker
Sport climber
Yakima, WA
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Mar 24, 2019 - 07:38am PT
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Back on topic and with a bit of climbing content (sort of):
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Larry Nelson
Social climber
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Mar 24, 2019 - 12:11pm PT
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What's the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding?
One less drunk.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Mar 24, 2019 - 05:34pm PT
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I have the memory of an elephant. I saw it at the Sacramento zoo when I was seven.
I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don’t know how anyone could stoop so low.
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skywalker1
Trad climber
co
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Mar 24, 2019 - 05:41pm PT
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Every room is room temperature.
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Jay Wood
Trad climber
Land of God-less fools
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Mar 25, 2019 - 08:23am PT
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How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one- they're efficient and not very funny.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Mar 25, 2019 - 11:27am PT
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You know you have "March Madness teeth" when you are down to your Final Four, right?
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Gorgeous George
Trad climber
Los Angeles, California
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Mar 25, 2019 - 04:32pm PT
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What do you get when an elephant sneezes?
You get out of the way.
The flight stewardess asked the old man if he'd like to be served dinner.
He asked "what are my choices?"
Yes or No.
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hamie
Social climber
Thekoots
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Mar 25, 2019 - 04:41pm PT
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Here's a few questions for Anders:
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Is there another word for synonym?
Can you have a civil war?
If you eat pasta and anti-pasto at the same time, will you still be hungry?
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HermitMaster
Social climber
my abode
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Mar 25, 2019 - 08:31pm PT
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The Quotes of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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