Homoclimbtastic

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Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
Mar 28, 2010 - 10:18pm PT
gdavis
i gotta laugh from your post.
that was funny sh#t.
well played.
Chinchen

climber
Anacortes, wa
Mar 28, 2010 - 10:48pm PT
I saw two hot lesbians holding hands today....
Alex Rowland

Sport climber
Athens, GA
Mar 29, 2010 - 10:10am PT
Hi friends!

Alex Rowland here, writing from Athens, Georgia. I’m one of the people in charge of Homo Climbtastic. It came to my attention that users of Supertopo were using our comment boards to prank their friends. Apparently, they were using it to make it seem like a STRAIGHT friend was ASSOCIATING with gay people, or might even be GAY himself! How hilarious! Because associating with gay people or being gay would be terrible! And nobody’s made fun of someone by suggesting that before, right? How original! Hahaha!

So far, it looks like the Supertopo people have characterized us as sex addict rapists who only care about hair! But that’s all in good fun, because those aren’t founded on reasons that have been used to deny us civil rights, beat us up and sometimes even murder us for the last few hundred years! Oh wait…

…although, maybe I shouldn’t characterize all you Supertopo people as a bunch of homophobes. It wouldn’t be very nice to make a bunch of generalizations about a whole group of people even with dispositive evidence sitting in front of me! That would be really ignorant!

And gosh, it certainly makes sense that gayness is none of your business and that we should hide it from you, unless of course, it involves LESBIANS. Then you totally want to see it! Because I’m sure you hide YOUR sexuality from everyone, by not, say, mentioning both your wife, your girlfriend, AND a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for sexual orientation ALL IN THE SAME POST. That would reflect an ignorance so profound and ironic that it MUST have been in jest! Nobody could be that stupid, right? Especially in the relatively tiny climbing community where reputation travels!

But let’s be cereal for a minute. I’ll skip the lecture about how we’ve (gasp) been climbing among you all this time or (double gasp) bolted/FA’ed some of the routes you may have climbed—those people chose not to out themselves to you, and as I can see now, for good reason. We formed the club for a lot of different reasons. One tiny reason among them was so we wouldn’t have to climb with dumb jerks. But that was only part of the story. I think we knew that by gathering a group of people interested in climbing without homophobia and sexism, we would have more than just that, we’d have a group of people far smarter and far funnier to hang out with. In Homo Climbtastic, our jokes, while still not P.C. (and still in terrible taste), are not rooted in any kind of deep seated repression of ourselves or others. But more than that, our jokes are actually funny. The stuff that passes for humor on this forum makes me choke on my vomit a little bit.

Maybe some of you want to joke around with the big boys and girls, and were reticent about evincing interest in our trip. So for those interested, I am copying the entire invitation to the July convention.

Best regards,
Alex Rowland


the biggest queer climbing convention in north america evaaaarrrrrrr:
july 15-july 19, 2010

homo climbtastic is at it again! after throwing the continent's
biggest queer climbing convention last year, we decided the only thing
better would be an EVEN BIGGER queer climbing convention this year!
5.10’s? 5.11's? 5.12's? 5.13’s? 5.14's? outdoor patio sets? we have it
all! last year’s trip featured participants from toronto to texas to
california to georgia, so there’s no excuse not to join us in West
Virginia's New River Gorge, one of the nation’s best sport climbing
areas, with the continent’s biggest gathering of foul-mouthed, sinewy,
and hilarious LGBT-friendly climbers.

aside from several days of climbing and camaraderie, you will also
receive, finances and planning permitting:

-peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

-climbing friends from all over to meet up with later

-a commemorative t-shirt

-exposure to athlete’s foot

-relief from the boredom of climbing with brahs (“hey brah!”)

not only that, this year’s convention introduces something new: a
homoclimbtastic comp! but this isn't your brah's comp, or even your
grandbrah's comp. forget all the bouldering and sport comps from years
past, ours will be infinitely more glam-rock. categories include:

-best joke incorporating the homoclimbtastic Required Reading List
(double points if it makes your lead climber fall)

-Miss Congeniality (longest time spent belaying)

-hardest route sent while wearing a full set of Lee Press-on Nails
(jugs or open hand crimps? you decide!)

-swimsuit competition

and more!

you think we’re kidding, but if you've climbed with us before, then
you know we're not! (note that categories may change depending on
demands of sponsors. like if those bitches at lee don't send us some
free nails.)

rock climbing ain’t never been this fun. we could lie and say there
won’t ever be a trip like this again, but there will, a year and a
some months from now. but you don’t want to wait that long! so save
the date: july 15-19, 2010. go to www.homoclimbtastic.com for more info about the club, and follow the link from there to join our facebook group so that you'll be notified when registration opens up.

on beyonce!

the h.c crew

(edited to add link)
Studly

Trad climber
WA
Mar 29, 2010 - 11:36am PT
Great post Mr Rowland, and way to not let Supertopo posters rile you. Most of them although not politically correct, are good people, and just like to rib people and have fun. I can see that you and your group are in that vein as well, and my hat is off to you and WELCOME TO THE TACOSTAND!
Paulina

Trad climber
Mar 29, 2010 - 11:44am PT
What s/he said ^^^^.

Edit: only it bears repeating that "good people" sometimes have really bad prejudices, which makes their actions less than good. And you're only as good as your actions are.
goatboy smellz

climber
लघिमा
Mar 29, 2010 - 11:47am PT
So how does that Nutella work as a lube?

I’m curious but afraid of chafing the bait & tackle.
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Mar 29, 2010 - 12:16pm PT
Like I said on 'thother page, this is a cool event, hope you guys have a blast!
mucci

Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
Mar 29, 2010 - 12:34pm PT
Rowland- Remember, there are about 10 people who have payed attention to this silly thread. Not everyone at the tacostand is a homophobe.

Have fun at the gathering, and keep up that impressive vocabulary! You had me running to the google bar a few times!

Oh and I have donated a few lady friends to your cause over the years, no thanks required.

HighDesertDJ

Trad climber
Arid-zona
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 29, 2010 - 12:43pm PT
This thread just keeps getting better. Thanks for the post, Alex.
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Mar 29, 2010 - 12:57pm PT
Power to anyone who is engaged in climbing and socializing. Have a great time at the New. It's a beautiful place. Hoping you'll post a TR here for us to enjoy too.
Roger Breedlove

climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Mar 29, 2010 - 01:15pm PT
Hi Alex,

Welcome to SuperTopo. There are some campers who stick to a homophobic view of humor and most of campers don't bother to call them on it. A couple of times I have called folks on ugly comments and they have all immediately apologized. It is sad that anyone would willfully say something that they feel compelled to apologize for. I think most of it is just bad manners. I am glad to hear that your group and those Peter reports on are available for non-straight climbers. The gay climbers I knew never felt too comfortable being open around the climbing community.

I once asked the Captain if he minded if gay climbers stuck their hands in his cracks. He just laughed and said, "I am a rock and all of you are humans! What difference does it make?”
rhyang

climber
SJC
Mar 29, 2010 - 01:25pm PT
I used to climb with a gay man. Good guy, got kicked out of the Marines under "don't ask, don't tell", went back to school and became a doctor.

Yes, he was open about his sexuality -- he had a partner and seemed very secure in who he was. And you would not want to mess with this dude, did I mention he was in the Marines ?

We had some good times climbing rock and ice. Unfortunately he seems to have taken up surfing, the bastard :( I feel betrayed ..
Reilly

Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
Mar 29, 2010 - 01:30pm PT
Alex' post might be one of the best evahhhh here!
I'd show at their git-down in a New York minute
'cause those folks know how to parteeee!
Too bad it is W Virginia, Jackson Hole would be much better!

This reminds me of what Jesse "The Ex-Navy Seal" Ventura said
last week concerning gays in the military: "I would walk up to them and
say 'Welcome Aboard!' "
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Mar 29, 2010 - 01:49pm PT
Don't worry. You have a kid.
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
Mar 29, 2010 - 08:41pm PT
Some helpful homoclimb terms:

American death triangle - dangerous threesome sex act with asphyxiation
Back-clipping - trimming a hairy dudes ass
Biner - oh nevermind you know what this is
Buttress - a woman with a strapon that likes men
Daisy chain - 3 or more guys...
Finger board - lesbian sex toy
Pumped - not just for forearms anymore
Pinkpoint - this just sounds gay no matter what it means
Teabagging - after a fall, the climber lands on his belayer's head
Trad Rack - a straight woman's boobs
Pennsylenvy

Gym climber
A dingy corner in your refrigerator
Mar 29, 2010 - 10:29pm PT
What Locker said.


And haven't we been here before anyways.......




http://supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=858925&msg=858931#msg858931
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
Mar 30, 2010 - 10:16am PT
I think it's great that we are at a point where people can be open and proud about what makes them differrent. In the past or in other screwed up countries like Iran you wouldn't see this. Of course there will always be some bigots who fault them for being different. But it sounds like these guys know the best way to deal with them, with humor.

I just can't get over thefact that gay people like climbing. Next thing you know sex symbol guys will say they are gay, like Ricky Martin.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Mar 30, 2010 - 10:36am PT
I dunno, I sort of like their attitude...
Rumney Fiend

Sport climber
Boston, MA
Apr 1, 2010 - 08:39pm PT
Hmm, that's a pretty glib answer. You've obviously got a problem with the gay community and can't seem to get past the idea of sex. Grow up! For an old fart, you sure sound like a 5 year old. Why don't you do your old fart thing and and let them do their thing, huh? BTW, I looked at their website and some of em are on 5.13s. You don't get that good by dabbling. But I guess you've already got it in your head that it's just one big orgy. For a straight guy, you're awfully obsessed with gay sex.

Alex, I'll send some of my friends your way. I bet they'd love your group.
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
Apr 1, 2010 - 08:49pm PT
BTW, I looked at their website and some of em are on 5.13s.

Really? They must be really cool then, and good people. Wow! That's so awesome!

Messages 21 - 40 of total 41 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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