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Jingy
Social climber
Nowhere
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Feb 12, 2010 - 03:26pm PT
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here's to hoping for the best outcome for Hankster...
It's a daily thing.. just remember to live in the moment, but also that you have a future that inclues many good times to be had with friends on and off the rock, and family.
Good luck.... one day at a time
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Feb 12, 2010 - 03:44pm PT
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hank,
re-reading your original post, you are telling tale of the evolution of your's self.
from my account, this is a quite dynamic existence. things that made sense before, utterly befuddle me today.
and i know that i cant begin to expect what will fill my gob and heart tomorrow. its a great journey, for all the change.
it sounds like your soul is just ready to move on. don't look back and hold those times with envy. that sucks. you got tomorrow to look forward to - and all of its enjoyable wobbles.
let today be the threshold between the past and... yep.
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Tea
Trad climber
Behind the Zion Curtain
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Feb 12, 2010 - 03:47pm PT
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hang tough Hank! You can do it!
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Feb 12, 2010 - 03:50pm PT
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Hang in there, Hank. Good luck and God bless!
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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Feb 12, 2010 - 03:56pm PT
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One of the greatest gifts in my life was someone else's sobriety.
As much as I ever hold anyone in my athiest prayers, I notice when one of you 'topians who has posted about getting sober posts something...anything. I see you here, and I'm hoping that you're able to make sobriety work out for yourselves in this crazy community where so many of our friends can't or won't make the change even when the party sucks more than it doesn't.
It might seem like no one cares that you're sober after a month, but it's probably a very rare bird for whom that is actually true.
Internet love to you.
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The Larry
climber
Moab, UT
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Feb 12, 2010 - 04:06pm PT
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Good luck bro. Stay strong!
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PP
Trad climber
SF,CA
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Feb 12, 2010 - 04:14pm PT
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good work Hank ! I made it through 1 night last night and was really excited. I knew I was going to sleep better feel better in the morning and basically get off on the right foot. hoping to make it through two nights but being friday night could be harder but it would be nice to get the weekend off to a good start rather than a mild hangover. It is becoming clearer to me that even minor amounts of booze make it alot harder to do the things I really want to do with my life.
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mountain dog
Trad climber
over the hills and far away
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Feb 12, 2010 - 05:35pm PT
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Hankster thank you so much for this thread! I have been contemplating starting a thread called "Climber As Alcoholic/Addict" On topic indeed. We all know them and some of us are them. I personally have been fighting hard but losing the battle right now. I just went out again after 7 days beer and pot free. My best is 60 days.
I can really relate to your situation. Same age and lifestyle. Witch is why I feel like such an outsider at meetings. I've never met one of our "tribe" at one. It's hard to picture myself at a campfire in Camp 4 or Hidden Valley without a beer and pipe. Or any place else for that matter. These things have always been a part of my chosen "counterculture" lifestyle which climbing used to fit into so well. Now the stuff that gave life richness is crushing me.
Being agnostic is not making it any easier. What are your thoughts on prayer? Should I go through the motions even if I'm a skeptic?
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Chief
climber
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Feb 12, 2010 - 05:47pm PT
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Way to go Hank!
I never met a beer I didn't like and have lived by Benjamin Franklin's axiom,"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
It does get a bit old after a decade or two though and you can find yourself way downhill on a slippery slope if you're not careful.
First thirty days are the toughest and you're in there man.
Best, hang in there.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Feb 12, 2010 - 05:51pm PT
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tis the golden depths of debauchery:
an all knight binge lands you kneeling at the edge of your daughters' bed, beholding the best beauty, that is a sleeping child.
the youngest, makalu, wakes slightly sharing her eyes with you. when she sees dad near, she smiles and says, i love you daddy.
the resulting headwind is so perfectly sweet, that you cannot face it.
you turn and leave the room.
...
i steal the last bowl of alphabet cereal. with rice milk this morning.
i rearange the letters so that my first spoonful reads, "chi"
when that fails to revive my verve,
i tilt another meaty beer saluting the wayward path.
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we don't need no stinking heaven. we conduct our song just fine in hell.
...
i am too sad to look at this world with klean eyes.
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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Feb 12, 2010 - 07:41pm PT
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Good Luck on Day Two, PP.
Mountain Dog - I have a friend who came to AA about a month after me. He was Atheist, and of course the Higher Power thing was a conundrum for him.
Luckily, he was also desperate.....
As the literature says, "a God of YOUR understanding."
My friend, Adam, found a little plastic piggy on the sidewalk. It was some sort of trinket, probably from a gumball machine. Well - he slung a little string around that pig and made him into a key ring or something. And the pig was his Higher Power.
It was one part facetiousness, another part desperation(as already mentioned), and mixed with a little willingness to give it a shot. He'd friggin' tried everything else he could come up with already.
It worked for him. Worked quite well. He's 13 plus years sober now, and though he's switched to being Agnostic, he doesn't feel he compromised his ideals in any way having that Higher Power Piggy.
Others have chosen trees, dollar bills, and any number of totems to be their HP.
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
Sprocketville
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Feb 12, 2010 - 08:28pm PT
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booze is the poor man's heroin,
if you really want to feel sorry for yourself, get into the Big H.
then do 5 years in the big house.
beer? give me a break, will ya?
you guys are gettin all heavy over too much beer?
c'mon man, quit yankin my chain.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Feb 12, 2010 - 08:30pm PT
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DrSprock, the new rokjox?
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
Sprocketville
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Feb 12, 2010 - 08:31pm PT
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naw, just bs as usual, can't you tell?
if you don't know me by now...
hows that somg go?
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Robb
Social climber
The Greeley Triangle
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Feb 12, 2010 - 08:46pm PT
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Hankster,
I'll stay dry if you will. Remember every day we stay sober, it makes us stronger.
Hang tough bro,
Robb
PS: If it gets really bad, shoot me an email.
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mountain dog
Trad climber
over the hills and far away
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Feb 12, 2010 - 08:48pm PT
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Sprock don't be a dick. We all react to different chemicals in our own way, and we all have our personal favorites. Many a hard man has been brought down by alcohol. I keep thinking of an old friend, the late Ralliegh Collins. He wasn't a junkie, he drank. To much sex brought Tiger Woods down.
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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Feb 12, 2010 - 09:30pm PT
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Dr. Sprock - I mean this in the nicest possible way, but STFU.
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Fogarty
climber
BITD
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Feb 12, 2010 - 09:53pm PT
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Hank, Congratulations on your sobrity, I have 42 days, this is the longest for me since I was maybe sixteen. Best of luck to all of us on this journey.
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
Sprocketville
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Feb 12, 2010 - 09:58pm PT
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ok, alright, your right, it's all relative,
and no sympathy is a bad way to treat addicts.
that link story is too long anyway.
i detect that i need a more mainstream post, here we go:
poor sprock, pour sprock a drink,
AA is great, but only 1 out of 37 addicts will die sober.
those are really bad odds.
so, the program is not perfect.
it tends to leave one with a constant craving that has to be supressed.
that is why the real dicks are people with 20 or more years sober.
they have been fighting their own demon for 20 years, and it is still there,
me? i use the substitution technique, frowned upon by AA, but it works for me,
is that ok with you cyber heads that i do not know from Adam?
who is now dead, the last of the Bonanza cast, who was also a meth head?
just kiddin...
if that post is not mamby pamby enuff, let me know and i can dumb it down into a mother teresa type routine.
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