Sobriety (off topic or not)?

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Messages 1901 - 1920 of total 1950 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
T Hocking

Trad climber
Redding, Ca
Jan 8, 2019 - 05:44pm PT
Best wishes Brandon on yer path to sobriety and the next chapter in your life.
You got this!
Tad
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
Jan 10, 2019 - 01:43pm PT
Looks like I知 getting admitted to this 30 day program in Minneapolis tonight. God, I need this.
John M

climber
Jan 10, 2019 - 02:19pm PT
Brandon, Thats great news!

I hope that you have an opportunity while you are in this program to get some counseling. While I disagree with Ken on the terms used to identify people with alcohol problems.. ( I don't like when people identify themselves as an alcoholic. I believe that leads to them holding on to the problem ) I do agree with him that there is more then one root issue with alcoholism. There is the physical habit/addiction and there is the psychological issue. To get completely free from those issues you need time away from alcohol AND you need to delve into why you abuse alcohol. What do you believe alcohol gives you that you can't get any other way? There are a whole host of questions that you need to answer and a good counselor can help guide you. Just remember that you have to come up with the answers. A counselor can help guide you, but they can not ultimately root those answers in you. You have to do that. So I hope that you get counseling and I hope that you do the work. Because bro.. it is work. Its not easy to dig deep into ones own psychology.

One thing that you should be aware of is that this type programs is just the first step. Its a huge step and can really propel you on your way towards being free from any issues with alcohol. but you need to be aware that there are layers to becoming free from being dependent on alcohol. Often people need to get more counseling once they are through a program. It took me about 3 years to be completely free from any issue with alcohol.

I wish you the best on your journey and please check in with us when you can. That doesn't mean breaking the rules while you are in the program. smiling here. It just means that we want to hear from you when its okay.

All the best,
John
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
Jan 10, 2019 - 04:12pm PT
I知 very uncomfortable writing this, but my buddy is going to set up a go fund me account for my recovery. Even with a scholarship it痴 still $3900. My bank accoount is at like $200 and my barista wife has to cover all the bills. Not sure how thats going to work. Thinking about selling plasma. I値l post a link when he gets it going. I feel like such a f*#king mooch but I dont know what else to do. My dad is poor, and I help support my mom and grandma as it is so borrowing money from family is out of the question. Wifes family is poor as well.
Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber
Jan 10, 2019 - 06:05pm PT
I'm sure people will help, even if it's at a very small amount, which will likely be my donation at this time of year.

This last few days has been challenging for me. Without going into details, just want to say how emotionally exhausted I feel. Had a flat tire the other day, and it just took me down. Such a small thing, really, but it's kind of like my emotional battery is easily drained by certain things, which is where I'm at right now, and then even small things can make me just want to curl up and cry.

I'm very lucky that I somehow am one of those lucky ones who really doesn't consider drinking as a way to escape when I feel this way. But I do have to apologize to a lady at the local dog run. Her damned dog was growling at Lucas when we tried to get in and .... while it's true that she could have behaved better, and the meltdown I had was more like *crazy lady* than aimed at her, I know I have to fix my end of that.

Hoping that the issue that has me so emotionally vulnerable right now will pass soon.

Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jan 10, 2019 - 06:22pm PT
Just saw this. I値l be pulling for you. You know you can do this.
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
Jan 11, 2019 - 04:41am PT
Heading in to the facility in a few. No internet allowed there so I値l see you all on the other side!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jan 11, 2019 - 05:11am PT
hey there say, Brandon... couldn't sleep ...

am suddenly have a small problem of my own... (my ear ) ...

so i am up...


best wishes and prayers...
we are all rooting for you...

and, we have had our really poor times and folks having to help us...
i lived my whole married life that way, and us all and the kids,
got by...

so i understand your situation...
i'm finally able to 'float' some, now, more than then...
so NEVER be ashamed to LET a friend help...

we will all try...
:)


the bigger shame is never caring to even try...
:)

the best HONOR, too, that a real friend can have, is:

to be ABLE to help...
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

climber
Out Of Bed
Jan 11, 2019 - 05:34am PT
for their sake[]hope you read-chemical intervention too Dutch-pleez++
TwistedCrank

climber
Released into general population, Idaho
Jan 11, 2019 - 08:10am PT
We're all rooting for you, Brandon! It works if you work it.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Jan 11, 2019 - 08:14am PT
See you the flip side, good luck!
Aaron Tritz

Social climber
Mound, MN
Jan 11, 2019 - 10:54am PT
Aaron Tritz checking in.

I am 'Brandon-' friend in Minnesota. He is currently in good hands with me and I am working some connections to get him into a recovery facility that I attended (I will not say which one publicly) and simply put, has changed my life.

More information on this thread will be posted in the upcoming days, I am personally closing in on my first full year of sobriety (2/13/19) after 28 years of drinking, four treatments and countless vain attempts to do this on my own.

I will share my story soon. I am currently undertaking the biggest 12th step I have ever attempted.

I look forward to sharing how Brandon and I go way back. Feel free to friend me on FaceBook and read up on me.

And it is true - helping and being of service to others does more for me than it does for those I help. I never understood this until recently.

I will share my story sometime over the weekend and keep you all posted on 'Brandon-' progress. Feel free to send me a FB Messenger if you'd like to know more.

Stay sober my new friends and as my sponsor loves to say to me (I do not TELL others what to do - I merely "suggest what has worked for me")

"Just keep doing the next right thing"

Take care all and I will post my story this weekend.

Sincerely,

Aaron Tritz







hooblie

climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
Jan 11, 2019 - 12:42pm PT
what a buddy! you're both going to be enjoying a whole new brand of riches
Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber
Jan 11, 2019 - 01:44pm PT
Thanks Aaron. Looking forward to hearing from you in this thread!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jan 11, 2019 - 04:47pm PT
hey there say, all...


got a call from brandon... here is where he will be...

HE WANTED THIS TO BE PUT HERE FOR YOU ALL:


so now-- he on his way...
:)

delete by request of his dear friend aaron...
:)


EDIT:
(just so folks can follow clear, what the delete was all about
i left this stuff in)


wow,
Aaron -- just saw your post...
thank you for the share and bearing your heart...

*Brandon_ just call a few hours ago, and shared that
he wanted the address here, so, hope that
has not affected anything, as to you...

thank you for all you are doing... yes-- friend DO best, being
and having, friends!!!
Jim Clipper

climber
Jan 11, 2019 - 05:27pm PT
Great to see the support. Very impressed by Brandon's friends. Best wishes.
Aaron Tritz

Boulder climber
Mound, MN
Jan 11, 2019 - 08:03pm PT
Neebee -

I appreciate that you posted what Brandon asked for you to do, however, he is not thinking clearly. Trust me I just spent three days with him. He flew in basically unannounced after I had a 3 hour phone call with him Monday and he does not remember Tuesday. He is simply suffering from some wet brain right now. I know he was drinking a lot more than what he claimed to me that he was - it's what we alcoholics do, we deny and lie to ourselves more than others around us. I completely forgive him for this and understand he just isn't thinking clearly.

The strings I pulled to get him in where he is needs to be private - this is a breach of confidentiality and I am not happy Brandon asked you to do this, and know I need to be gentle on him in my reply as I placed a call to the facility and asked for him to call me ASAP and have him call you and reiterate this with you. Please edit and get that info off your post where he is.

Please delete that address and if anyone wants it, please IM or figure out a way to contact me - Facebook Messenger, just send me a friend request or if we can IM here, I'll be happy to share the info.

I apologize for being a hard ass right now - but the last 3 days took a huge toll on me - I am in a major decompression stage and Brandon will not be thinking clearly for 1-2 weeks as his brain adjusts to being alcohol free.

I will post more later, but please edit that post and get that address off there.

I'm not sure how this site even works yet, and know you meant no harm. But my reputation is on the line with this facility and I have literally $2.35 in one of my bank accounts, $20 in cash, and less than $5.00 in another- I flipped the bill to get him in, and have no idea where my rent is coming from or how I am going to pay nearly $10,000 in bills in the next 6 weeks. I am on the hook with the facility to have him paid off in two weeks. I have a impeccable reputation there.

GoFundMe has been set up, but seriously I am running on empty and just need to go to bed. I'll post that link later if any of you want to assist, it'd be greatly appreciated.

For those that doubt AA (I read and skimmed about 10 pages back and saw how messed up Brandon's thinking was and still is) Ask yourself this - Have you ever seen someone seriously work all 12 steps of AA honestly and thoroughly and then say, "gee my life is worse now!"

I sure as sh!t never have. I am where I am because of that, and Brandon and the whole higher power God thing. I will say this, he said to me this week, "all these coincidences, all these things that are just aligning all of a sudden after we spoke, I am seriously rethinking some major beliefs of mine" I turned and looked at him and just said "wholly sh!t - you might actually might believe in a power greater than yourself."

I'll post my story later - my spirituality took a long time to develop, there is good and evil in this world is what I believe, these two forces are in conflict with each other and are fighting over you, me and the guy next door. I'm more of a the universe is m higher power type of guy but I believe in Angels. I still have my issues with the whole God thing. But there is evil in this world, and there is a devil I believe. My spirituality is still forming after 12 years in and out of AA and in the midst of my longest sober stretch ever.

Religion is for people that want to stay out of hell. Spirituality is for those that have already been there.

I'm not a huge fan of internet Forums. Too much trolling, and all I am trying to do is save someone's life - so feel free to disagree with me if that's the path you want to take or what I say offends you - but please due respectfully as will I.

I just put my financial well being on hold and my kids don't know it yet but the 3 day ski trip to Lutsen that has the best snow conditions in years for MLK weekend has been cancelled. I hate letting my kids down, and I did for years drinking - but to save a life potentially, I'll do so every day of the week and twice on Sunday's.

Have a good night - I just got off the phone with my sponsor that I speak to EVERY NIGHT. To say I got my ass a bit chewed off is an understatement.

Coincidences? I got rid of all social media after sobering up. But as my kids ski team only communicates via FaceBook I had to reopen my account. I never would've seen Brandon's FB post on depression and then said flat out once he called - quit drinking. He asked how I knew he was drinking as we haven't spoken in years. I simply said, a true alcoholic can tell of another alcoholic from miles (time zones) away. He was on the plane the next day.

Please delete the address and where he is. Thanks and I hope I didn't offend you or anyone else.

-Aaron

WBraun

climber
Jan 11, 2019 - 08:15pm PT
Thanks, Aaron

Where's the Go fund me?
WBraun

climber
Jan 11, 2019 - 09:01pm PT
Sorry ...

I'm looking for the link to help you Aaron since you only have a few dollars to your name and have kids.

I can send you a few dollars more?
Aaron Tritz

Boulder climber
Mound, MN
Jan 11, 2019 - 09:44pm PT
I think I posted it wrong originally, I changed the lin, bottom of page, as I am managing it I think it wouldn'y link properly.

I just copied from his FB page:

GoFundMe Brandon

I completely understand if you can't help. It was the best idea we could come up with. And we felt best he post it on his FB page not mine.

We are asking for more than what the treatment center costs ($3900) as I had expenses of getting him cleaned up, haircut, Target trip, feeding him and also to assist his wife on any extra. He flew in with nothing but the clothes on his back.

Fortunately, we are the same size 5 lbs difference, same height and he fits all my clothes so the Target trip was minimal - I tried to dress my hippie friend with some polo shirts but he did resist :) I had plenty of jeans and extra clothes that I donated (another coincidence) - all I am looking to cover are the costs of the treatment center and receipts, and he committed to 6 months of sober living in St. Paul (increases the 7%-10% odds of this treatment center) up to 25%-30% success rate if he stays 6 months or longer in sober living, and he'll need a deposit for that living arrangement. He did inform me he is committed to being in MN through at least August. Sober living will provide him high structure and as he has skills as a carpenter so I know he'll find good work and be back on his feet quickly.

Any extra will be sent to his assist in helping his wife with household bills. I'll gladly show anyone via email scans of the receipts, withdrawals and checks in the event you are suspicious of a newcomer asking for such a favor.

I'm just mainly concerned first and foremost on following through on the $3900 - this treatment center does have one of the highest success rates (It was my fourth treatment and the best one I ever attended). He informed me tonight he has his own room, which is very nice as most $30,000 insurance covered ones have you paired up with a roommate.

It is non clinical and highly structured, a non-profit, insurance isn't accepted - no counselors other than general oversight. It's a very unique structure in that the staff are present to give some general classes, but really puts the willingness and follow through on the individual seeking help. Brandon wanted to go to this one for himself, I've known him for 22 years and I strongly suggested why it worked for me is because I did it for myself and then everything else just fell into place.

The model has been attempted to be duplicated elsewhere due to the high success rate - but no other cities have been able to (to my understanding). Minneapolis/St Paul is well known for being a mecca of recovery. So much so, that St. Paul no longer allows additional Sober housing and the city passed a moratorium on new sober houses, the recovery community here is simply amazing and the longer he stays the better his success chances are.

It comes down to Brandon's willingness to follow through - its all about how badl he wants it. He was at rock bottom when I finally located him at the airport (that;s it's own story - he looked like a train wreck and was very rough looking)

I just spoke to him and he sounded like he's adjusting well, said everyone was very friendly and I could hear the relief in his voice.

https://www.gofundme.com/help-brandon-mayo-with-his-recovery?utm_source=internal&utm_medium=email&utm_content=campaign_title&utm_campaign=donation_receiptv5&fbclid=IwAR2DOnKTzVVIdEi2wM-8qR7LIaFQ6Edc_Nbhp8tl-rsU0hYqVrBAz7HigiE
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