S.Leeper
Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
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Aug 27, 2013 - 09:55pm PT
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Writing out my first step right now and it is kicking my ass.
I'm having trouble piecing together 2 sober days in a row.
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The Chief
climber
From the Land of the Mongols
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Aug 28, 2013 - 01:10am PT
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Just work on "piecing" together TODAY.
Do that each and every day from this day on, and you will be OK.
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S.Leeper
Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
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Aug 28, 2013 - 01:11am PT
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Thanks Chief
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S.Leeper
Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
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Aug 28, 2013 - 01:11am PT
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It's a new day and a good one at that.
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Aug 28, 2013 - 02:33am PT
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They tell you "don't make any major decisions in your first year." Has anybody read the third step?! Then they tell you "don't make any major changes in your first year", then five minutes later they say "you gotta change everything!" They say "don't judge anybody in AA" then in the next breath they say "stick with the winners!" WTF, I LOVE this shit!
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S.Leeper
Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
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Aug 28, 2013 - 04:46am PT
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haha ain't it the truth
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The Chief
climber
From the Land of the Mongols
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Aug 28, 2013 - 09:47am PT
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....you gotta change everything!They say "don't judge anybody in AA" then in the next breath they say "stick with the winners!"
Find em, latch onto em and then Stick with the Winners and you will learn why you need to change and also how not to judge anyone in AA.
That is how this gig works.
"It Pays to be a Winner!"
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TwistedCrank
climber
Bungwater Hollow, Ida-ho
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Aug 28, 2013 - 10:25am PT
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The program - any good program really - is filled with paradoxes and contradictions.
If pondering them keeps you from drinking, then the program was - is - a success.
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Kenygl
Trad climber
Salt Lake City
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Aug 28, 2013 - 11:27am PT
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What it takes is a clear mind. Something which folks reading the literature for the first times rarely possesses. Stick around, it gets better.
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S.Leeper
Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
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Aug 28, 2013 - 05:33pm PT
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rough day, serenity prayer time.
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Aug 28, 2013 - 05:38pm PT
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Been on a dry drunk all day. TIme for some 11th step (meditation)
JL
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S.Leeper
Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
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Aug 28, 2013 - 05:59pm PT
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How is the leg, John?
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Edge
Trad climber
New Durham, NH
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Aug 28, 2013 - 06:23pm PT
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Ah yes, Step 11.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
It's the only step that I took out of order. I mean, once you acknowledge that there is a higher power, and that YOU are not it, why wait to strike up a conversation? I'm not even talking religion, but more about spirituality. As climbers, it is easy to find magic in nature, to admit that the order of the Universe trumps our poor, pitiful existence, and that we are really insignificant in the "big picture."
Meditating in nature was key for this alcoholic, and helps put things in perspective. I have done this for 3+ years now every day, without fail, in the sun, rain, or snow. In fact I actually prefer the inclement weather, and for those who question me I will often relay the quote, "Those who think sunshine brings happiness have never danced in the rain."
The concept of a "higher power" stops many from progressing, but as has been mentioned, you can use the collective consciousness of the group, or temporarily even an old timer who has what you want. Just don't limit yourself to these things as you progress, you should always strive to move forward, even when your goal of sobriety is reached.
As an aside, I once listened to some wretched, tortured soul in an AA meeting tell her story. She had 10 years at the time, but purely from willpower and attending several meetings a day for all those years; she was unable to evolve past this existence. She relayed how in rehab someone had suggested to her that the lightbulb in the ceiling could be her higher power, and insisted that this worked for her. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen should the lightbulb burn out...
And a mentor once shared this with me about willpower: "Have you ever had diarrhea? Try to use willpower against that and let me know how that works out for you."
No matter where you are in your sobriety, day one or year twenty, you must always reach for something more. There will be ups, downs, successes, and setbacks, but if you accept them as life and deal with them all rationally and without needing to pick up, you are healing.
I love this thread, it's the only "meeting" I have attended for the last year and a half. It's my conscious contact that makes the foundation for everything else to build off of.
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S.Leeper
Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
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Aug 28, 2013 - 06:35pm PT
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And a mentor once shared this with me about willpower: "Have you ever had diarrhea? Try to use willpower against that and let me know how that works out for you."
excellent example
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Jebus H Bomz
climber
Peavine Basecamp
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Aug 28, 2013 - 07:03pm PT
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I love this thread, it's the only "meeting" I have attended for the last year and a half. It's my conscious contact that makes the foundation for everything else to build off of.
Me too. It's really my only meeting. I try to speak openly with people close to me about it. I'm a lot less defensive than I used to be as an addict actively justifying his choices. Life is almost unbelievably better than when I started this journey. But maybe it's too easy or too good to be true. I don't know, I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Yesterday I think I cleaned out one of the last bottle caps left lingering in my life. They were everywhere. Jacket pockets. Backpacks. In my climbing gear. My car trunk. And, yesterday, I found one last one under the car seat. I'm sure there are more, but it felt like something to look at this one that way. Of course, there are more than just those bottle caps left lingering. It's almost bad to lose those physical reminders, but I pay homage to the memories I am able to see clearly now.
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Aug 28, 2013 - 07:04pm PT
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Anybody else checked out Blum and Loughan's The Healing Runes? It's the sh#t. I pull a rune every morning to start my day. Using all the tricks right now.
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The Chief
climber
From the Land of the Mongols
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Aug 28, 2013 - 08:49pm PT
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But maybe it's too easy or too good to be true.
Not one bit.
Life doesn't change nor all the things it throws at ya.
Just easier to see, accept & get through the shetstorms of your day with a level head/heart sober and with LOTS of help from them "Winners" you will get to know if you stick around this gig long enough to meet and allow into your life.
More importantly, the Power you choose to call God takes the reigns of those shetstorms we all have daily. You then get to go along for the ride AFTER you give that Power the control to do so.
The hard part in all that, letting it all go and giving it up to that Power.
THE PROMISES
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them. Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
PS: I challenge you and the rest of the Newcomers here to stick around for ONE full YEAR. If this A A gig does not produce the stuff you are looking for and many if not most of the above Promises come true, then the WINNERS will gladly refund you all the misery of your past and freely let you go back to it.
A word about GOOD Sponsors. They are NOT your friend. Not suppose to be either.
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Jebus H Bomz
climber
Peavine Basecamp
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Aug 28, 2013 - 11:12pm PT
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Yeah, I guess what I'm saying is I don't see AA way as the only gig. Like I said, my parents are about 30-years sober without it. I do appreciate the insight, the way of talking openly about it I see here though. But, yeah, no sponsors or anything.
I guess after all this time enslaved to it, I don't want to make it my flipping hobby if at all possible. If that's what it takes for people not to drink though, it is definitely worth it. I just haven't needed that yet.
I dunno, many paths to Rome, or something. I'll be doing my own Pepsi challenge 5, 10, 20, 30, 40 years down the line. I personally don't care how people get there if they decide that they need to head that way. To me it's a non-denominational issue, I really don't have the energy to worry about who is more sober than the other. I ultimately care most about one guy's sobriety.
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Aug 28, 2013 - 11:29pm PT
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I'm like the Jeebs. This thread is my only "meeting". Don't cotton to organizations in general.
But whatever works for you, do it. The AA seems to work wonders for some, just not my thing.
Found out earlier this week that my cousin, a close childhood friend, died of a drug induced heart attack last year at age 40 (yeah, WTF? They're just telling me this now?). 20 years of meth will do that to you.
I always hoped he'd pull it together someday, he had 3 little boys...well I guess one is out of high school by now, so not so little anymore. In and out of jail, on and off the ice, dealing, stealing, the whole nine. What a waste.
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Aug 29, 2013 - 12:02am PT
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Perhaps someday in the distant future the day will arrive when I can taper off, but for now I need a steady diet of meetings and the program. Besides, in Flag AA is a social scene where I already know half the people. The party scene here has produced quite a few casualties.
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