Sobriety (off topic or not)?

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Messages 1281 - 1300 of total 1770 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 26, 2013 - 05:42pm PT
going to 2 meetings today because a brother from my noon meeting is doing his first step at the meeting tonight.

Higher power can be the collective consciousness of everyone in the meeting, doesn't have to be "god".
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 27, 2013 - 05:01pm PT
bump for sobriety!

Got to hear a first step last night and it brought a tear or two to my eye.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Aug 27, 2013 - 05:45pm PT
Good point on the 'god thing' S. Leeper! I always bring it up to reassure non believers like my self that there are non-theist, esp non-christian ways to sobriety. I interpret what you and others say, about not pining down the"higherforce" as something along the lines of, don't deny yourself the help and benefits of AA because of a "god" sticking point!

And, I fully agree! I'd like to think we're getting at the same thing fom differing points of view; An important life lesson in general!

That said, this can be a hard time for me as well. Yesterday is not only a coue Tacos' birthday, it's also Lucille day, the anniversary of the Fa of a climb in 1988 that changed a lot of the way I view things, and shaped my climbing life afterwards. All three of these things give me confidence and strength. Coming off that, I'm always caught by surprise to be a little down on the 27th. And every year I have to go through a thought process and remember that it was this day in 1979 that my father died of pancreatic cancer at age 56. He's also responsible in many ways for where I am as a climber, we sort of learned to climb together.
It's a funny year this year, as its the first year that I've reached an age beyond what he lived to. On top of that is the ambient sadness of losing Blitzo so recently in such a similar way.
I'm not in danger of drinking today. I'm in Vedauwoo, climbed and ran this morning; now I'm armed with a big gulp and back up seltzer, to go scope out tomorrow's project and then grill some salmon.

The thing that sobriety does for me in all this. Is that I can take theses extremes of high and low, and experience them, sort them out, and order them in my life. Which works a lot better for me than being overwhelmed by each and trying to dull it down, in an effort to control the feelings, with alcohol.

There are times when you need to be happy, and times its appropriate to feel sad. That's the joy, of life!
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 27, 2013 - 06:21pm PT
Thank you Jay for sharing your feelings here.

Alot of us addicts, have stuffed or sedated our feelings with drugs, booze, sex, or what have you, for so long, expressing how we feel can be a new experience.

Love you all!
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Aug 27, 2013 - 06:29pm PT
Today is a good day.
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 27, 2013 - 06:54pm PT
That's great, Bob!
Credit: S.Leeper
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 27, 2013 - 09:55pm PT
Writing out my first step right now and it is kicking my ass.

I'm having trouble piecing together 2 sober days in a row.
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 28, 2013 - 01:11am PT
Thanks Chief
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 28, 2013 - 01:11am PT
It's a new day and a good one at that.
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Aug 28, 2013 - 02:33am PT
They tell you "don't make any major decisions in your first year." Has anybody read the third step?! Then they tell you "don't make any major changes in your first year", then five minutes later they say "you gotta change everything!" They say "don't judge anybody in AA" then in the next breath they say "stick with the winners!" WTF, I LOVE this shit!
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 28, 2013 - 04:46am PT
haha ain't it the truth
TwistedCrank

climber
Bungwater Hollow, Ida-ho
Aug 28, 2013 - 10:25am PT
The program - any good program really - is filled with paradoxes and contradictions.

If pondering them keeps you from drinking, then the program was - is - a success.
Kenygl

Trad climber
Salt Lake City
Aug 28, 2013 - 11:27am PT
What it takes is a clear mind. Something which folks reading the literature for the first times rarely possesses. Stick around, it gets better.
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 28, 2013 - 05:33pm PT
rough day, serenity prayer time.
Largo

Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
Aug 28, 2013 - 05:38pm PT
Been on a dry drunk all day. TIme for some 11th step (meditation)

JL
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 28, 2013 - 05:59pm PT
How is the leg, John?
Edge

Trad climber
New Durham, NH
Aug 28, 2013 - 06:23pm PT
Ah yes, Step 11.

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

It's the only step that I took out of order. I mean, once you acknowledge that there is a higher power, and that YOU are not it, why wait to strike up a conversation? I'm not even talking religion, but more about spirituality. As climbers, it is easy to find magic in nature, to admit that the order of the Universe trumps our poor, pitiful existence, and that we are really insignificant in the "big picture."

Meditating in nature was key for this alcoholic, and helps put things in perspective. I have done this for 3+ years now every day, without fail, in the sun, rain, or snow. In fact I actually prefer the inclement weather, and for those who question me I will often relay the quote, "Those who think sunshine brings happiness have never danced in the rain."

The concept of a "higher power" stops many from progressing, but as has been mentioned, you can use the collective consciousness of the group, or temporarily even an old timer who has what you want. Just don't limit yourself to these things as you progress, you should always strive to move forward, even when your goal of sobriety is reached.

As an aside, I once listened to some wretched, tortured soul in an AA meeting tell her story. She had 10 years at the time, but purely from willpower and attending several meetings a day for all those years; she was unable to evolve past this existence. She relayed how in rehab someone had suggested to her that the lightbulb in the ceiling could be her higher power, and insisted that this worked for her. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen should the lightbulb burn out...

And a mentor once shared this with me about willpower: "Have you ever had diarrhea? Try to use willpower against that and let me know how that works out for you."

No matter where you are in your sobriety, day one or year twenty, you must always reach for something more. There will be ups, downs, successes, and setbacks, but if you accept them as life and deal with them all rationally and without needing to pick up, you are healing.

I love this thread, it's the only "meeting" I have attended for the last year and a half. It's my conscious contact that makes the foundation for everything else to build off of.
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Aug 28, 2013 - 06:35pm PT
And a mentor once shared this with me about willpower: "Have you ever had diarrhea? Try to use willpower against that and let me know how that works out for you."

excellent example
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Peavine Basecamp
Aug 28, 2013 - 07:03pm PT
I love this thread, it's the only "meeting" I have attended for the last year and a half. It's my conscious contact that makes the foundation for everything else to build off of.


Me too. It's really my only meeting. I try to speak openly with people close to me about it. I'm a lot less defensive than I used to be as an addict actively justifying his choices. Life is almost unbelievably better than when I started this journey. But maybe it's too easy or too good to be true. I don't know, I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Yesterday I think I cleaned out one of the last bottle caps left lingering in my life. They were everywhere. Jacket pockets. Backpacks. In my climbing gear. My car trunk. And, yesterday, I found one last one under the car seat. I'm sure there are more, but it felt like something to look at this one that way. Of course, there are more than just those bottle caps left lingering. It's almost bad to lose those physical reminders, but I pay homage to the memories I am able to see clearly now.
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Aug 28, 2013 - 07:04pm PT
Anybody else checked out Blum and Loughan's The Healing Runes? It's the sh#t. I pull a rune every morning to start my day. Using all the tricks right now.
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