Norris vs. Dalton- you decide....

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beef supreme

climber

the west

Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 8, 2009 - 03:06am PT

First off, let me say that I'm new to said forum and that I apologize if this subject has already been covered.

And let me also say that if it hasn't been covered then you guys are really slacking, I mean, talking about the tack-bearers vs. the Mo's vs. the Primate genus all hating on each other; it's entertaining and enjoyable light evening reading material but it's just not all that, well, shall we say- enlightening... no thats not the right word, important may be a better fit.

So, onto more pressing matters- who would win:

Chuck Norris (yes, the Chuck Norris)
or
Dalton (for you unfortunates that aren't privy to the times, thats the late Swayze from Roadhouse)

I've proposed this question to people before with very un-mixed results. Everyone just says Norris without batting an eye- even if they don't even know who Dalton really is.

Who can blame them though- when all you hear about Chuck Norris is that he can- and will- roundhouse kick God in the face, how can one even compare any other legitimate badass?

All the Chuck Norris statements of fact that your friends tell you or that you have read on the internet make it really hard for any challenger to be proposed. I now urge you to look around those stone hard facts of life and try to see it another way, try to even imagine someone else kicking the sh#t out of Norris.... ahh, feels good doesn't it. Good work, thats the hard part.

I'm going to express my theory on this utmost subject, but first we have to set a level playing ground- (as in we have to limit Chuck to one role as his new found nemesis never has had an opportunity to star in any other film aside from Roadhouse- unless there is some B movie that I missed out on) and I propose.... ok Commando IV, Chuck is back with 4 times the pain..

My basic instinct tells me that Norris would initially kick the living sh#t out of Dalton- for at least about 3 minutes, then he would get in too close and Dalton, oh sweet Dalton, would sweep in with the ultra fast throat grab and literally rip out Chuck's larynx- adam apple and grisly stubbled neck region in all.

So what do you think?