Healing Bad Blood among Climbers

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Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 30, 2009 - 08:48pm PT
John Bachar's Memorial brought me back to a lot of great people and events from the early 1980s in Yosemite.

One thing that struck me was that despite how great many of these people were, strong opinions about style, reputation, routes, and competitive zeal often created bad blood between the vivid and independent characters that we climbers often are.

In our older ages, many present had set down the axes they used to grind and realized our connections were more important than our differences and misunderstandings. Dave Yerian said it well in conclusion to his remarks, something along the lines of "Climbing isn't as important as the Love we have for each other."

Hearing from folks close to John, I was happy to hear that he had cleared some air with people from his past where there had been difficulties in the past. It's good to go on your journey without excess unresolved tensions.

I'm not saying we should abandon our ethics or style. I'm saying we can disagree about it without creating bad Blood. We probably can't stop competing with our friends and peers, but it doesn't have to take us to a dark place.

A lesson I'm hoping many will take from this is that it's important to mend the bad blood and misunderstandings that we create in our lives. Sometimes we're just young, hot and immature, and sometimes we just get our priorities twisted.

You never know when it's going to be too late to heal bad blood. THink about it.

Make

PEace

Karl
pip the dog

Mountain climber
planet dogboy
Jul 30, 2009 - 09:03pm PT
amen, Babu.

lucky for me i'm not good enough that anyone cares what i do. and what little i am almost good at happens so many miles from the crowds that no one ever knows...

canis fidelis est,

^,,^
Fletcher

Trad climber
a buttery white sand beach... I wish!
Jul 30, 2009 - 09:11pm PT
Karl, once again, your kind and wise spirit shines through.
goatboy smellz

climber
लघिमा, co
Jul 30, 2009 - 09:11pm PT
A little competitive spirit drives us to improve on ourselves and we should always remember to step lightly with our allies in arms.
Sarah Funky Fresh

Trad climber
Fresno, CA
Jul 30, 2009 - 09:22pm PT
Hey, you guys, I was thinking about how caustic climbers can be sometimes ... especially on the Internet. I wanted to be part of the solution to that. I started a Web site where climbers can (among other things) celebrate each other. If anyone is interested in telling a tale of someone they think is awesome, I have created a place to do that. My most recent entry was about my friend Alvaro. When I saw him at the gym today, he thanked me and gave me a big hug, his eyes shining. So I know I spread a little happiness into his life. I invite you all to do this for your friends. Thank you, Karl, for broaching this important subject. I believe climbing has the power to heal us individually as well as collectively.
Sarah Jane, time2climb.com
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 30, 2009 - 09:36pm PT
"Karl. . . what I want to know is why you always capitalize the PE in peace? "

If I type it fast enough, that's what happens.

Here's a clickable link to Sarah's page for the lazy ones like I can be

http://www.time2climb.com/

Climbing isn't quite as caustic as it used to be when it was a total boy's club of dirt Dwellers, but we still get on each other's nerves plenty.

For my part, sorry to those who I don't always show due respect for. In my heart, I have no enemies

peace

Karl
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
New York, NY
Jul 30, 2009 - 09:48pm PT
Karls' so right. And of course it goes beyond climbing.

My brother, Oney, drowned back in the winter of 1984, when he fell through the ice, fishing. He and I were really close, almost like twins. My older brother, Dan, was also close to him - they were close in age and partied together as best friends would.

At any rate, Dan and Oney had a set of friends, also brothers, named Steve and Andy. The two had had some sort of fall out and were not on speaking terms. But when Oney died, Dan went to both Steve and Andy separately, and begged them to mend their differences.

The two had made an effort to do just that, though it was only an initial one, when Steve was killed in a motorcycle accident.
Andy was devastated, of course, to lose his brother, but he was so grateful that they had done that little bit to get past their difficulty.
John Vawter

Social climber
San Diego
Jul 30, 2009 - 09:53pm PT
Well said Karl. Thank you.
pip the dog

Mountain climber
planet dogboy
Jul 30, 2009 - 10:02pm PT
yeah, that's it.

[image via www.time2climb.com]


^,,^
Peter Haan

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
Jul 30, 2009 - 11:41pm PT
I would also point out (loving KB's remarks as always), There Is Not That Much Time Left For Many Of Us. Believe me. So many of us, your predecessors, are approaching our life expectancy, you know. Do It Now, please.

Climbing is just a wire armature for your sculpture. What will you create with this? Have you cleverly used it to keep the lid on your emotions and love, needs for intimacy? Within the routine and protocol have you been able to hide, back in there from feelings that disturb you? Or have you been lucky and seen it as the best opportunity you feel you will ever experience, to express your strongest, most honorable impeccable self in the company of like-minded artists?


love p.
apogee

climber
Jul 30, 2009 - 11:44pm PT
Spot on, Karl.

Unfortunately, our true priorities in life oftentimes don't become clear until much later in life, especially as we experience (or simply observe in others) the loss of important people in our lives. Touchstone comments like yours are helpful.
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jul 30, 2009 - 11:51pm PT
hey there karl... say, what a sweet kind breath from the great outdoors, is flowing here, from all this...

say, many times, too, it IS "youth" in the blood of those "hot on the trail of adventure"...

but say, older folks can be quilty of being "set in there ways" and not able to be free like a river...

whatever the reasons, HEALING is always wonderful... and, given freely, it actually can freely flow back, in most cases...

thanks for you wise words...


and happiegrrrl... oh my, thanks for sharing your story....
edit: my auntie died that way, though not when fising...



edit: say, i forgot, to sarah jane...

my littlist sister has downs syndrom and was adopted... we never got to see her and grow up with her... :(

say, her name is "sarah jane"---it is sure is nice to see that someone else with that name, is spreading wonderful healting to others... god bless... keep letting that name shine... :)
for a little gal that can't reach out as far, to do so...
Daphne

Trad climber
Mill Valley, CA
Jul 31, 2009 - 12:01am PT
I hope the chop/don't chop population of ST click on this thread.

I don't have much hope that the politico/religios will.

I raise my glass to healing, to kindness, to placing more emphasis on understanding the other than on being understood, and to peace.
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 31, 2009 - 12:53am PT
Make them an offer they can't refuse.

Don't get mad, get even.

Go to the mattresses.

Oh wait, I'm confused. I must have thought this had to do with Anastasia's "Mafia Wars" game.

I'll go to the car now.
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 31, 2009 - 12:57am PT
Yes, it was very thoughtful of Dave Yerian, Wayno (Wayne Miller) and their two friends to come all the way to Squamish for Daryl's memorial in 2004. Dave came from California, Rick LeDuc (mazamarick) from central Washington, Wayne from Seattle, and the other two I think from California.

Here we all are on the top of the Chief, just before we spread Daryl's ashes to the winds.
Something to think about, that we had only come together for such a memorial, forgetting our minor differences. Many of the main figures from Squamish climbing history from the 1960s to 1980s.
Sarah Funky Fresh

Trad climber
Fresno, CA
Jul 31, 2009 - 01:07am PT
Aw, shucks, thanks for the clicky, Karl, I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

Yeah, pip, if only climbers were all as mellow as my homeboy Alvaro and his companion Leo, we wouldn't have to have this thread. But it's a good one. :)
I snapped that shot of the boys on one of our many climbing trips. They both get along with everyone. Alvaro, because he has a sweet nature. Leo also ... plus he doesn't have a testosterone problem, if you know what I mean, snip, snip.
Incidentally, snipped guys are hot! :) I hope to find one when I have time for a man.

neebee, I am on a mission to shine the light of love that is at the core of us all. I bet your little Sarah Jane did the same. Your separation is temporary and illusionary.
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Jul 31, 2009 - 01:12am PT
werd, I can't f*#king stand intolerant people.














munge make funny
Doug Robinson

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Jul 31, 2009 - 02:58am PT
I was really impressed by John Bachar as an opponent a couple of years ago.

It was on the interminable thread about what bad boys Sean Jones and I were for daring to rap bolt on the South Face of Half Dome. Some bad blood got leaked for sure.

John, however, while as fully opposed to our actions as he could possibly be, was ever respectful in expressing his feelings. Strong feelings, boldly put, but not a drop of bad blood and no hint of slinging sh*t.

I was mighty impressed. Plenty of lowlife temperament was sloshing around that thread. I had to wear my high boots, and sometimes pace through the redwoods for hours before replying.

But with John, (and with many others of you still here -- thanks to all), respect flowed back and forth enough that we could just sidestep the personality assassination and gnaw on the issues themselves.

Cool!
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
Jul 31, 2009 - 07:09am PT
I'm all about forgiveness, reconciliation and healing. Life is too short, and too precious. I'm willing to speak with anyone anytime.
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 31, 2009 - 10:16am PT
I'd like to suggest that, regardless of who was wrong or right in some scenario in our recent or long ago past, that nobody should be expected to hate themselves or crawl in a hole.

We have a tendency to beat up ourselves within, even as we defend ourselves on the outside. That's gotta end for peace to win out.

You can apologize or agree to disagree, but everybody has to come out of a reconciliation with a continued ability to repect themselves and their tribe

Peace

Karl
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