You know you are a redneck when.....

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chainsaw

Trad climber
CA
Topic Author's Original Post - Aug 22, 2016 - 07:56pm PT
I breed pitbulls and drive a '79 Bronco with a lift. I have a three bedroom house with all the bedrooms full of crap and gear. I sleep in the living room on the floor in front of the TV. I prefer a tent in the backyard when its not raining. Theres usually a couch in the yard. Ive been on a PGE payment plan for decades. I like food with my butter and hotcakes with my syrup. There are no clean dishes here and I own one set of silverware and two pairs of shoes. I had to give up Coors Light but I still use empty Silver Bullet twelve packs to store sheht. Sometimes I use them to bring home a bag of Crawdads that I caught with a catfish head in a trap. My favorite bar seats ten. I play hillbilly twelve-string with a band called sluicebox. You cant see anybodies faces in the band but mine cuz their beards are awesome. I grew my first chesthair at 29, so sometimes I wear a red white and blue Duck Dynasty headband with fake beard. I like shooting sporting clays and sometimes varmints. I get my food from the USDA givaway and the Senior Gleaners. I dont have any money but my gear is worth 3x my car (Bronco doesnt count, it's unregistered). I shoot pigeons out the bathroom window. I almost always bank the Eight Ball. I roll my own. I wear the same clothes till they stand by themselves or crawl away. I handwash and hangdry everything. I never wear underwear. I live in East Nicolaus (Butt Foughk Egypt) next to a PGE substation surrounded by orchards, rice and cropdusters. I gotta big ole friggin chainsaw. I have a horseshoe pit and archery range in my yard. I live by the saying "if it aint broke it doesnt live around here. Ive mucked out alotta stalls. I dont know if these attributes are a Redneck's or a Climber's. Anybody wanna hookup? Hardy Har Howdy doody!
zBrown

Ice climber
Aug 22, 2016 - 08:08pm PT
Stihl?


Not the geetar.

"I play hillbilly twelve-string with a band called sluicebox."
thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
Aug 22, 2016 - 08:16pm PT
you have carved pseudopecker outta pinewood
Lorenzo

Trad climber
Portland Oregon
Aug 22, 2016 - 08:19pm PT
sometimes I wear a red white and blue Duck Dynasty headband with fake beard

Not a climber or a redneck.
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Aug 22, 2016 - 08:23pm PT
rednecks got Homelights, homy!

and I bet he couldn't even hit a pigeon, their prolly quail.

I'd like to hook up if you'de like to play some shoes for gear or beer?(my brand tho)
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Aug 22, 2016 - 08:52pm PT
maybe that's cousin's I gotta red neck from workin is the sun all day.


Put in a septic system today. Builded it out of 1200 PBR can's. Punched out the bottems so they were freeflowin. By the time their full and heavy, we'll be able to recycle'em for BIG money! Try tellin me I'm stoopid;)

Edit; oh yeah, Dixie Chicks RULE!


vvvQueer
High Fructose Corn Spirit

Gym climber
Aug 22, 2016 - 08:59pm PT
You are NOT a redneck when...

you're giving thought to pine genetics and gene frequencies.
ruppell

climber
Aug 22, 2016 - 09:18pm PT
jstan

climber
Aug 22, 2016 - 09:32pm PT
How many times do I have to post this video link? I mean are y'all asleep?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsqKyv86pEY

Caveman

climber
Cumberland Plateau
Aug 23, 2016 - 04:11am PT
I imagine about zero Californians have supported the Covenant so y'all are not rednecks, just folks with tanned necks.
yanqui

climber
Balcarce, Argentina
Aug 23, 2016 - 04:21am PT
Somehow I missed that one, jstan, and I love comedy.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Aug 23, 2016 - 05:24am PT
I heerd the Clampers won't invite you to they sessions down to the Airport Cafe on topless night.

My cousin Reno's Bronco's been missin' for years. She'd like to have a look.

What's yer take on USONA?

Do you know a shrimpy piano player with long hair who claims to love America?

[Click to View YouTube Video]Ya might could be a fool, but yer our fool, ya fool.

Keep that head high on that red ol' neck, bro.
EdwardT

Trad climber
Retired
Aug 23, 2016 - 07:14am PT
Interesting song, MFM.

Applies to today's racial racial tensions.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Aug 23, 2016 - 07:45am PT

JC Marin

Trad climber
CA
Aug 23, 2016 - 09:26am PT
You know you are a redneck when.....


Your daddy and grandpapa are the same convict
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
Aug 23, 2016 - 09:29am PT
You know you are a redneck when this offer looks good

Jon Beck

Trad climber
Oceanside
Aug 23, 2016 - 09:33am PT
You know you are a redneck when there are no branches in your family tree.
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

climber
Out Of Bed
Aug 23, 2016 - 09:52am PT
You know you're a red neck

When


She is only your big sister when dads out of county lock-up.
The rest of the time she is your sisters cousin....
pb

Sport climber
Sonora Ca
Aug 23, 2016 - 10:27am PT
yer cars on blocks an yer house is on wheels
JC Marin

Trad climber
CA
Aug 23, 2016 - 10:46am PT
The whole family only speaks French, but no one in the family has been out of Louisiana since the 1750's
Messages 1 - 20 of total 32 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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