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labrat
Trad climber
Erik O. Auburn, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 20, 2016 - 02:50pm PT
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I enjoy reading them from the local paper and plan to post some of my favorites here.
7/19/16
10:10 a.m. — A woman continued to call wanting to schedule hip surgery. She had been told a number of times that 911 doesn’t schedule surgeries. She continued to call and was admonished.
7/18
9:17 a.m. — A caller in the 23000 block of Hydraulic Way reported that a suspect grabbed a knife and struck another person. The suspect also told the victim that if she continued talking then he’d stab her. The suspect then left the house. He had no weapons, but was carrying a bong.
7/17
12:21 p.m. — A caller in the 17000 block of Greenhorn Road reported that a neighbor pointed a gun at him. The caller said he believes the suspect was angry because he thought the caller drove through his marijuana grow and stopped to count the plants. The caller denied the accusation.
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cat t.
climber
california
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Jul 20, 2016 - 04:06pm PT
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I live in the (orders of magnitude poorer) unincorporated county next to the wealthiest city in the country. The local paper is full of terrifying crimes like "lost wallet was returned," "mustached man walked by house," and "several rocks were stolen from yard."
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Jul 20, 2016 - 08:25pm PT
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Surprised at lack of interest. There's a real treasure trove of Americana out there,
I recall s column called News of the Weird.
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Jul 20, 2016 - 11:31pm PT
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bitd my wife was a cop on the beat in Sacramento. She has some pretty funny stories. When they were out late picking up drunks in the patty wagon they would recruit one of them to keep the rest in line. When they got to the station they'd give him the bottles they'd confiscated from the rest and let him go. That probably wouldn't fly today.
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this just in
climber
Justin Ross from North Fork
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Jul 21, 2016 - 08:16am PT
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I was in New Zealand in the late 90s and we read the crime report for the week. The major crime was someone stole a pack of bubblegum from someone's house. Always wondered if they caught the guy, still have nightmares today about my bubblegum being stolen.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jul 21, 2016 - 08:27am PT
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Justin, many crimes go unreported in Kiwiville cause, yup, sheep can't dial phones.
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WyoRockMan
climber
Grizzlyville, WY
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Jul 21, 2016 - 08:42am PT
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Bozeman Montana has consistently funny police reports.
From the last week:
A man had questions about a domesticated rooster in the area. He’s “just not that into” the neighbors’ crowing rooster but “reckons” he’ll get used to it.
A caller reported a suspicious person who was parked in a van near a daycare and possibly drinking a beer. A deputy found that the woman was drinking a can of V8 and was “having a good day.”
A woman noticed some graffiti on a passing train the other day that she wanted to report.
A woman who said she was allergic to marijuana reported that her neighbor was smoking pot again.
A man was cited for negligently shooting a friend in the leg.
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this just in
climber
Justin Ross from North Fork
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Jul 21, 2016 - 10:08am PT
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Haha Reilly, saw some damn good looking sheep too.
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Jul 21, 2016 - 10:18am PT
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A friend of ours, who is a highway patrolman, has a video of a person he stopped for suspected DUI. When he asked the suspect, who had an opened, but largely full, beer bottle to empty the bottle, the suspect lifted the bottle up, but hit his forehead so hard he knocked himself out.
John
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plund
Social climber
OD, MN
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Jul 21, 2016 - 11:27am PT
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Frightening / amusing DWI tale...
BITD (late 80's)a friend / acquaintance who already had multiple DWIs was pulled over for driving app. 80 mph on the twisting County Hwy 95 north of Stillsville, MN. Said driver, who typically showed up at parties with a bottle of Jim Beam & two cans of Pepsi for a chaser, had a mostly-empty bottle of Beam between his legs when the cop approached the car. Cop literally asked "WTF do you think you're doing??!!" to which the response was "When I drink square whiskey, I drive WIDE OPEN!!!" Needless to say he added to his DWI count...
Story heard from arresting officer, a friend of my younger brother...he was recounting it at a gathering, it sounded too familiar, so after validating some details (name, type of car) I had to admit I knew the guy, AND that he had been telling the truth about his Nth DWI.
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Jul 21, 2016 - 12:29pm PT
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I was sitting in a cafe in Hulett, Wyoming. In the booth behind me sat the local Sherrif an another Gentleman. Apparently the gentle man's son had driven his car through a storefront in the middle of the night. The converstaion went something like this...
"So Joe, someone's going to have to pay the damages to Mary's store there."
"Yeah Bob I know. I'll take it out of his hide."
"One more thing, after two wrecks and now this, if we catch driving drunk again we're just going to have to arrest him."
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labrat
Trad climber
Erik O. Auburn, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 21, 2016 - 12:52pm PT
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July 20
9:55 p.m. — A caller from the 500 block of Mill Street reported four suspicious vehicles; they were playing Pokemon.
3:53 p.m. — A woman reported her friend fell off a cliff on Highway 20 and Washington Road, and hit his side. She was driving him to the hospital, driving intentionally erratically, and refusing to pull over.
6:59 p.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Durbrow Road reported a man in an argument with himself, who then was banging on a door with his pants down. He was arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of a controlled substance.
8:34 p.m. — A caller from the 14000 block of Lee Lane reported an airplane flying erratically and buzzing a house.
Wednesday
1:13 a.m. — A caller from Broad Street reported a man by the pool who was confused, crying and not wearing anything. He then went upstairs into a business. A report was taken for being drunk in public.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jul 21, 2016 - 03:31pm PT
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Jody, do tell. You can leave the politicians' names out.
KSolem, it doesn't sound like he had killed any cattle so you can
understand the sheriff's reluctance to do anything rash.
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Jul 21, 2016 - 05:20pm PT
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In March, jurors in New Orleans convicted Isaiah Doyle of a 2005 murder and were listening to evidence in the penalty phase of the trial when Doyle decided to take the witness stand (as defendants sometimes do in a desperate attempt to avoid the death penalty). However, Doyle said to the jurors, "If I had an AK-47, I'd kill every last one of y'all with no remorse." (The jury recommended the needle.) [WWL-TV (New Orleans), 3-25-2011]
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Edge
Trad climber
Betwixt and Between Nederland & Boulder, CO
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Jul 21, 2016 - 06:09pm PT
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Whatever happened to brevity?
On May 3, 2016 a BCSO deputy was dispatched to a resident on the report of a trespasser. A Nederland officer, being closer, assisted with the call. The officer saw a vehicle in the driveway when another vehicle pulled up and two young females got out with a man wearing a black hoodie. He had long brown hair and a full beard. The trio entered the residence.
When the Ned officer knocked on the door, he was invited in by a woman who said her ex-husband was extremely intoxicated, no longer lived at the address and she didn’t want him there. When the officer asked the man if he wanted to talk, the man said it wasn’t his business. Then he said he just wanted a chance to make it right with his family and he usually doesn’t drink.
The officer asked him to step outside. The man put on his shoes and walked out the door, pulling it shut behind him, locking the officer inside the house. The officer found him 50 feet north of the house in the fetal position. When the BCSO officer arrived the man said he wanted to stay at the house and work out their problems but was told he could not. He said he wanted to get a room at Ameristar so the deputy put him in the back of the patrol car and headed to Black Hawk.
About 20 minutes later, the officer was dispatched back to the woman’s house who said the suspect had returned and was driving away. As they neared the location, they saw a vehicle driving towards them about 50 miles an hour with its high beams on in a 30 mph. The officer turned around, trying to catch up with it and saw the vehicle drift into oncoming traffic and then crash into some boulders. When the officer went to check the vehicle, the driver was gone.
The deputy arrived and saw the man trying to hide. He was placed under arrest and transported to the BC Jail. He returned to the house and the woman said she thought he needed some kind of help. The officer put a protection order in place because of the Domestic Violence charge. He was also charged with DUI and trespassing
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jul 21, 2016 - 06:24pm PT
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No question about it, alcohol clarifies the thinking process.
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Chaz
Trad climber
greater Boss Angeles area
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Jul 22, 2016 - 10:50am PT
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I like to pick up a copy of The Local Rag in whatever town I find myself in, just for this type of stuff. The best one for Police Blotter on the West Coast has to be the Whidbey Island Fishwrap / Tattler.
Some recent examples from their Island Scanner page:
The following items were selected from reports made to the Oak Harbor Police Department:
-At 1:08 p.m., a Southwest Fourth Avenue resident reported that a dead rabbit was ready for pickup.
-At 4:40 p.m., a caller reported being upset that his sister was at the library.
-At 5:24 p.m., a caller on Northwest Third Avenue reported that a child was urinating on their dog.
-At 3:05 p.m., a driver reported that a person was carrying an orange blanket along the highway.
-At 12:40 p.m., a woman driving on Whidbey Avenue reported that an unknown white substance splashed on her car and she can’t see out of her windshield. The call was classified as a mental health issue.
-At 4:13 p.m., a caller reported that people were holding signs saying “free weed” and “weed for free” on Southwest Barlow Street. The caller said the signs were offensive.
-At 8:43 a.m., a caller reported that a man was sitting in a car and talking to himself on Dillard Lane.
http://www.whidbeynewstimes.com/news/382152651.html
-At 2:16 a.m., a caller on Pioneer Way reported that a man called a cab but doesn’t remember where he lives.
-At 9:55 a.m., an injured bunny was reported on Columbia Drive.
-At 6:19 a.m., a woman on Northeast Avenue reported that “there are too many cars out here.” The caller was slurring her words.
-At 5:56 p.m., a driver reported that a man was “flipping signs about Jesus” on the corner of the highway and Barrington Drive. The caller said it was distracting.
-At 3:59 p.m., a Waterside Court resident reported finding a bird’s nest.
At 4:51 p.m., a caller reported that someone had a psychotic break downtown.
-At 4:37 a.m., a Southeast Barrington Drive resident reported that a neighbor was yelling on the phone for an hour about her cat dying.
-At 8:29 a.m., a Gemstone Drive resident reported that “some creature” is stuck in her dryer vent.
-At 6 a.m., a Calista Court resident reported that a man was bending over, waving his arms, looking into cars and “picking bugs out of his hair.”
-At 12:06 p.m., an employee at a Barlow Street business reported that a bag full of urine and condoms was left in the night deposit box.
-At 7:42 p.m., a caller reported that a man near the highway was leaning against a wall with his pants around his ankles.
-At 3:31 p.m., a Southwest Heller Street resident reported that a cat or raccoon was living on the roof.
-At 4:05 p.m., a Southwest Third Avenue resident reported that a raccoon was hanging out in trees in the backyard. She said she’s unable to let her children outside to play because of the critter.
-At 3:21 p.m., a Crosby Avenue resident reported that a large rabbit was lost.
-At 1:43 p.m., a man at the bus station reported that there’s a hit out on him.
-At 9:29 a.m., a Midway Boulevard resident reported that her Dumpster was vandalized and two dirty mattresses were dumped.
http://www.whidbeynewstimes.com/news/381812991.html
-At 10:26 a.m., a caller requested that someone check on a cage full of rabbits on Oak Harbor Street.
-At 10:25 a.m., a caller Pioneer Way reported that a homeless woman slept on the sidewalk over night and was eating and throwing trash.
-At 9:37 p.m., a Northeast Seventh Court resident reported that an injured raccoon was on her roof.
-At 12:40 p.m., there was a report of a woman rocking on a bench near the highway.
-At 1:14 p.m., a caller reported that a man was in a bathroom for 45 minutes and can hardly walk along the highway.
-At 12:44 p.m., a resident reported that two people were flying a drone over Navy housing.
-At 1:10 p.m., a Navigator Loop resident reported she was concerned about illegal pornography in the area.
-At 8:06 a.m., a caller reported that a man was inside a Dumpster on the highway, throwing trash everywhere.
-At 10:04 a.m., there was a report of a man in a combat vest running around in the Crescent Harbor Road area.
-At 1:52 p.m., an Atalanta Way resident reported that tires and rims were stolen from a car when the caller was in jail.
-At 1:53 p.m., a caller reported that a man who was talking to himself was packing his backpack full of “stuff” at the marina.
-At 9:51 a.m., a caller reported that a man was naked on City Beach Street.
-At 10:11 a.m., a Thornberry Drive resident reported an injured crow in the front yard.
http://www.whidbeynewstimes.com/news/385265871.html
Man, those Whidbey cops are busy! Where do they find the time to saturate the whole goddamn Island with radar speed-traps?
Where I live, the cops really are busy, with murders and sh#t. The San Bernardino County Sheriff Department answers the phone like this: "Sheriff. How many people are shot?" If you say "nobody's shot" they'll hang up. Or they'll laugh at you, and then hang up. But I can't remember the last time I saw our Local Law with a radar speed-trap.
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labrat
Trad climber
Erik O. Auburn, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 22, 2016 - 11:23am PT
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Nice!!
4 calls about rabbits........
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